I now proceed to put on my conjuring cap, and shew forth the wonders of
the stars.
On looking at the moon, through my 500-horse power telescope, which
magnifieth the planets 97,000,000 of times larger than life, I discern,
that the march of intellect hath already travelled to that luminary; for
I do distinctly perceive divers juveniles, of eighty years old and
upwards, seated on stools, with horn-books in their hands. The Man in
the Moon is also very busy, striving to metamorphose his sticks into
_brooms_, to sweep away the cobwebs of ignorance therewith. Moreover, I
do observe about half a million miles of cast-iron rail-road, in the
direction of the earth, by which I do opine an inclination towards this
planet. But there doth appear a great consternation amongst the other
constellations, more especially in the _Upper House_, where _Libra_ hath
got into fiery opposition with _Mars_; and _Saturn_ (who hath grown
_Grey_) hath, in striving to part them, lost the skirts of his coat, and
is glad to put up with a _Spencer_, whereby is clearly shadowed forth a
fierce encounter between two great commanders. Let those, who think
little of law and justice, read the 10,000 volumes of the Abridgment of
the Statutes, and tremble!
Touching the affairs of Europe _in general_, I can say nothing _in
particular_; excepting that I observe, that the Pope of Rome hath been
furiously dealing forth his anathemas,[1] wherein he doth betray a most
marvellous lack of wit; for doth he opine, that Christian folk are such
_calves_ as to be _cow'd_ by a _bull_? Verily, it toucheth me sore, to
note the silly doings of the crazy old beldame, who hath turned the
world topsy-turvy for so many centuries, when she might gather her
petticoats about her, and sit down in peace and quietness, by merely—my
old friend and gossip, _Poor Humphrey_, sagaciously observeth,—just
turning _Protestant_. And, in good sooth, when we come to think of it,
there need be no quarrellings and bickerings on religious grounds, nor
scruples for conscience' sake, in any part of the world, if all the
Pagans, Hindoos, Mahometans, Jews and folks of every religion, and of no
religion at all, were only just to make up their minds to do the same
thing. And, pray, let me ask, what can be a more simple piece of advice?
Footnote 1:
The Abbé de la Mennais has roused the thunder of the Vatican by his
_Paroles d'un Croyant_. The Pope has addressed an evangelical letter
to the prelates of the Catholic world, in which the Abbé is compared
with John Huss and Wickliff, and his Holiness says:—"We damn for ever
this book of small size but huge depravity."—_Morning Post, June,
1834._