HOME-SICKNESS
Every afternoon when Clara was resting after dinner, the grandmother
would take Heidi to her own room where she had a lot of pretty dolls,
and she showed her how to make dresses and aprons for them, so that the
child learned how to sew and to make all sorts of beautiful clothes for
the little people. And then grandmother liked to hear her read aloud,
and the oftener Heidi read her tales the fonder she grew of them. But
still she never looked really happy, and her eyes were no longer bright.
It was the last week of the grandmother's visit. She called Heidi into
her room as usual one day after dinner, and the child came with her
book under her arm. The old lady laid the book aside, and said, "Now,
my dear, tell me why you are not happy? Have you still the same trouble
at heart?"
Heidi nodded in reply.
"Have you told God about it?"
"Yes."
"And do you pray every day that He will make things right and that you
may be happy again?"
"No, I have left off praying."
"Do not tell me that, Heidi! Why have you left off praying?"
[Illustration: HEIDI LEARNS TO MAKE DOLL CLOTHES]
"It is of no use, God does not listen," Heidi went on in an agitated
voice, "and I can understand that when there are so many, many people
in Frankfurt praying to Him every evening that He cannot attend to
them all, and He certainly has not heard what I said to Him."
"And why are you so sure of that, Heidi?"
"Because I have prayed for the same thing every day for weeks, and yet
God has not done what I asked."
"You are wrong, Heidi; you must not think of Him like that. God is a
good father to us all, and knows better than we do what is good for us.
He did not think what you have been praying for was good for you just
now; but be sure He heard you, for He can hear and see every one at the
same time, because He is a God and not a human being like you and me.
While God is watching over you, and looking to see if you will trust
Him and go on praying to Him every day, you run away and leave off
saying your prayers, and forget all about Him. You would not like to
grieve God, would you, Heidi, when He only wants to be kind to you? So
will you not go and ask Him to forgive you, and continue to pray and to
trust Him, for you may be sure that He will make everything right and
happy for you, and then you will be glad and lighthearted again."
Heidi had perfect confidence in the grandmother, and every word she
said sank into her heart.
"I will go at once and ask God to forgive me, and I will never forget
Him again," she replied repentantly.
And she ran away and prayed that she might always remember God, and
that He would go on thinking about her.
The day came for grandmother's departure--a sad one for Clara and
Heidi. But the grandmother was determined to make it as much like a
holiday as possible and not to let them mope, and she kept them so
lively and amused that they had no time to think about their sorrow
at her going until she really drove away. Then the house seemed so
silent and empty that Heidi and Clara did not know what to do with
themselves, and sat during the remainder of the day like two lost
children.
Many weeks passed away. Heidi did not know if it was winter or summer,
for the walls and windows she looked out upon showed no change, and she
never went beyond the house except on rare occasions when Clara was
well enough to drive out, and then they only went a very little way,
as Clara could not bear the movement for long. On these occasions they
generally only saw more fine streets and large houses and crowds of
people; they seldom got anywhere beyond them, and grass and flowers,
fir trees and mountains, were still far away. Heidi's longing for the
old familiar and beautiful things grew daily stronger, so that now only
to read a word that recalled them to her remembrance brought her to the
verge of tears, which she suppressed with difficulty. So the autumn and
winter passed, and again the sun came shining down on the white walls
of the opposite houses, and Heidi would think to herself that now the
time had come for Peter to go out again with the goats, to where the
golden flowers of the cistus were glowing in the sunlight, and all the
rocks around turned to fire at sunset. She would go and sit in a corner
of her lonely room and put her hands up to her eyes that she might not
see the sun shining on the opposite wall; and then she would remain
without moving, battling silently with her terrible home-sickness until
Clara sent for her again.