As I gained the street, at a distance from the Place, I was able to
increase my speed; and I did so with an eagerness as if the world
depended on my haste. At any other time I would have bethought me of my
disobedience to the père’s commands, and looked forward to meeting him
with shame and sorrow, but now I felt a kind of importance in the charge
intrusted to me. I regarded my mission as something superior to any
petty consideration of self, while the very proximity in which I had
stood to peril and death made me seem a hero in my own eyes.
At last I reached the street where we lived, and, almost breathless with
exertion, gained the door. What was my amazement, however, to find it
guarded by a sentry, a large, solemn-looking fellow, with a tattered
cocked-hat on his head, and a pair of worn striped trousers on his
legs, who cried out, as I appeared, ‘Halte-là!’ in a voice that at once
arrested my steps.
‘Where to, youngster?’ said he, in a somewhat melted tone, seeing the
shock his first words had caused me.
‘I am going home, sir,’ said I submissively; ‘I live at the third
storey, in the apartment of the Père Michel.’
‘The Père Michel will live there no longer, my boy; his apartment is now
in the Temple,’ said he slowly.
‘In the Temple!’ said I, whose memory at once recalled my father’s fate;
and then, unable to control my feelings, I sat down upon the steps and
burst into tears.
‘There, there, child, you must not cry thus,’ said he; ‘these are not
days when one should weep over misfortunes; they come too fast and too
thick on all of us for that. The père was your tutor, I suppose?’
I nodded.
‘And your father--where is he?’
‘Dead.’
He made a sign to imitate the guillotine, and I assented by another nod.
‘Was he a Royalist, boy?’
‘He was an officer in the Garde du Corps,’ said I proudly. The soldier
shook his head mournfully, but with what meaning I know not.
‘And your mother, boy?’
‘I do not know where she is,’ said I, again relapsing into tears at the
thought of my utter desolation. The old soldier leaned upon his musket
in profound thought, and for some time did not utter a word. At last he
said--
‘There is nothing but the Hôtel de Ville for you, my child. They say
that the Republic adopts all the orphans of France. What she does with
them I cannot tell.’
‘But I can, though,’ replied I fiercely; ‘the Noyades or the Seine are
a quick and sure provision; I saw eighty drowned one morning below the
Pont Neuf myself.’
‘That tongue of yours will bring you into trouble, youngster,’ said he
reprovingly; ‘mind that you say not such things as these.’
‘What worse fortune can betide me than to see my father die at the
guillotine, and my last, my only friend, carried away to prison?’
‘You have no care for your own neck, then?’
‘Why should I---what value has life for me?’
‘Then it will be spared to you,’ said he sententiously; ‘mark my words,
lad. You never need fear death till you begin to love life. Get up, my
poor boy; you must not be found there when the relief comes, and that
will be soon. This is all that I have,’ said he, placing three sous in
my palm, ‘which will buy a loaf; to-morrow there may be better luck in
store for you.’
I shook the rough hand he offered with cordial gratitude, and resolved
to bear myself as like a man as I could. I drew myself up, touched my
cap in soldierlike fashion, and cried out, adieu--and then, descending
into the street, hurried away to hide the tears that were almost
suffocating me.
Hour after hour I walked the streets; the mere act of motion seemed to
divert my grief, and it was only when, footsore and weary, I could march
no longer, that my sorrows came back in full force, and overwhelmed
me in their flow. It was less pride or shame than a sense of my utter
helplessness, that prevented me addressing any one of the hundreds who
passed me. I bethought me of my inability to do anything for my own
support, and it was this consciousness that served to weigh me down more
than all else; and yet I felt with what devotion I could serve him who
would but treat me with the kindness he might bestow upon his dog; I
fancied with what zeal I could descend to very slavery for one word of
affection. The streets were crowded with people; groups were gathered
here and there, either listening to some mob orator of the day, or
hearing the newspapers read aloud. I tried, by forcing my way into the
crowd, to feel myself ‘one of them,’ and to think that I had my share of
interest in what was going forward, but in vain. Of the topics
discussed I knew nothing, and of the bystanders none even noticed
me. High-swelling phrases met the ear at every moment, that sounded
strangely enough to me. They spoke of Fraternity--of that brotherhood
which linked man to man in close affection; of Equality--that made all
sharers in this world’s goods; of Liberty--that gave freedom to every
noble aspiration and generous thought; and for an instant, carried away
by the glorious illusion, I even forgot my solitary condition, and felt
proud of my heritage as a youth of France. I looked around me, however,
and what faces met my gaze! The same fearful countenances I had seen
around the scaffold--the wretches, blood-stained, and influenced
by passion--their bloated cheeks and strained eyeballs glowing with
intemperance--their oaths, their gestures--their very voices having
something terrible in them. The mockery soon disgusted me, and I moved
away, again to wander about without object or direction through the
weary streets. It was past midnight when I found myself, without knowing
where I was, in a large open space, in the midst of which a solitary
lamp was burning. I approached it and, to my horror, saw that it was the
guillotine, over which in mournful cadence a lantern swung, creaking
its chain as the night wind stirred it. The dim outline of the fearful
scaffold, the fitful light that fell upon the platform, and the
silence-all conspired to strike terror into my heart. All I had so
lately witnessed seemed to rise up again before me, and the victims
seemed to stand up again, pale, and livid, and shuddering, as last I saw
them.
I knelt down and tried to pray, but terror was too powerful to suffer
my thoughts to take this direction, and, half fainting with fear and
exhaustion, I lay down upon the ground and slept--slept beneath the
platform of the guillotine. Not a dream crossed my slumber, nor did I
awake till dawn of day, when the low rumbling of the peasants’ carts
aroused me, as they were proceeding to the market. I know not why or
whence, but I arose from the damp earth, and looked about me with a more
daring and courageous spirit than I had hitherto felt. It was May--the
first bright rays of sunshine were slanting along the Place, and the
fresh, brisk air felt invigorating and cheering. Whither to? asked I of
myself, and my eyes turned from the dense streets and thoroughfares of
the great city to the far-off hills beyond the barrier, and for a
moment I hesitated which road to take. I almost seemed to feel as if the
decision involved my whole future fortune--whether I should live and die
in the humble condition of a peasant, or play for a great stake in
life. Yes, said I, after a short hesitation, I will remain here--in the
terrible conflict going forward, many must be new adventurers, and never
was any one more greedy to learn the trade than myself. I will throw
sorrow behind me. Yesterday’s tears are the last I shall shed. Now for
a bold heart and a ready will, and here goes for the world! With these
stout words I placed my cap jauntily on one side of my head, and with a
fearless air marched off for the very centre of the city.
For some hours I amused myself gazing at the splendid shops, or staring
in at the richly decorated cafés, where the young celebrities of the day
were assembled at breakfast, in all the extravagance of the newfangled
costume. Then I followed the Guard to the parade at the ‘Carrousel,’
and listened to the band; quitting which I wandered along the quays,
watching the boats as they dragged the river in search of murdered
bodies or suicides. Thence I returned to the Palais-Royal and listened
to the news of the day, as read out by some elected enlightener of his
countrymen.
By what chance I know not, but at last my rambling steps brought me
opposite to the great solemn-looking towers of the ‘Temple.’ The gloomy
prison, within whose walls hundreds were then awaiting the fate which
already their friends had suffered--little groups, gathered here and
there in the open Place, were communicating to the prisoners by signs
and gestures, and from many a small-grated window, at an immense height,
handkerchiefs were seen to wave in recognition of those below. These
signals seemed to excite neither watchfulness nor prevention--indeed,
they needed none; and perhaps the very suspense they excited was a
torture that pleased the inhuman gaolers. Whatever the reason, the
custom was tolerated, and was apparently enjoyed at that moment by
several of the turnkeys, who sat at the windows, much amused at the
efforts made to communicate. Interested by the sight, I sat down upon a
stone bench to watch the scene, and fancied that I could read something
of the rank and condition of those who signalled from below their
messages of hope or fear. At last a deep bell within the prison tolled
the hour of noon; and now every window was suddenly deserted. It was the
hour for the muster of the prisoners, which always took place before
the dinner at one o’clock. The curious groups soon after broke up. A few
lingered around the gate, with, perhaps, some hope of admission to visit
their friends; but the greater number departed.
My hunger was now such that I could no longer deny myself the
long-promised meal, and I looked about me for a shop where I might buy a
loaf of bread. In my search, I suddenly found myself opposite an immense
shop, where viands of every tempting description were ranged with
all that artistic skill so purely Parisian, making up a picture whose
composition Snyders would not have despised. Over the door was a
painting of a miserable wretch, with hands bound behind him, and his
hair cut close in the well-known crop for the scaffold; and underneath
was written, ‘Au Scélérat’; while on a larger board, in gilt letters,
ran the inscription:--
‘Boivin Père et fils,
Traiteurs pour MM. les Condamnées.’
I could scarcely credit my eyes, as I read and re-read this infamous
announcement; but there it stood, and in the crowd that poured
incessantly to and from the door, I saw the success that attended the
traffic. A ragged knot were gathered around the window, eagerly gazing
at something, which, by their exclamations, seemed to claim all their
admiration. I pressed forward to see what it was, and beheld a miniature
guillotine, which, turned by a wheel, was employed to chop the meat for
sausages. This it was that formed the great object of attraction, even
to those to whom the prototype had grown flat and uninteresting.
Disgusted as I was by this shocking sight, I stood watching all that
went forward within with a strange interest. It was a scene of incessant
bustle and movement; for now, as one o’clock drew nigh, various dinners
were being prepared for the prisoners, while parties of their friends
were assembling inside. Of these latter there seemed persons of every
rank and condition; some, dressed in all the brilliancy of the mode;
others, whose garments bespoke direst poverty. There were women, too,
whose costume emulated the classic drapery of the ancients, and who
displayed, in their looped togas, no niggard share of their forms; while
others, in shabby mourning, sat in obscure corners, not noticing the
scene before them, nor noticed themselves. A strange equipage, with two
horses extravagantly bedizened with rosettes and bouquets, stood at the
door; and, as I looked, a pale, haggard-looking man, whose foppery in
dress contrasted oddly with his careworn expression, hurried from the
shop and sprang into the carriage. In doing so, a pocket-book fell from
his pocket. I took it up; but as I did so, the carriage was already
away, and far beyond my power to overtake it.
Without stopping to examine my prize, or hesitating for a second, I
entered the restaurant, and asked for M. Boivin.
‘Give your orders to me, boy,’ said a man busily at work behind the
counter.
‘My business is with himself,’ said I stoutly.
‘Then you ‘ll have to wait with some patience,’ said he sneeringly.
‘I can do so,’ was my answer, and I sat down in the shop.
I might have been half an hour thus seated, when an enormously fat man,
with a huge _bonnet rouge_ on his head, entered from an inner room, and
passing close to where I was, caught sight of me.
‘Who are you, sirrah--what brings you here?’
‘I want to speak with M. Bouvin.’
‘Then speak!’ said he, placing his hand upon his immense chest.
‘It must be alone,’ said I.
‘How so, alone, sirrah?’ said he, growing suddenly pale; ‘I have no
secrets--I know of nothing that may not be told before all the world.’
Though he said this in a kind of appeal to all around, the dubious looks
and glances interchanged seemed to make him far from comfortable.
‘So you refuse me, then?’ said I, taking up my cap and preparing to
depart.
‘Come hither,’ said he, leading the way into the room from which he had
emerged. It was a very small chamber, the most conspicuous ornaments
of which were busts and pictures of the various celebrities of the
Revolution. Some of these latter were framed ostentatiously, and one,
occupying the post of honour above the chimney, at once attracted
me, for in a glance I saw that it was a portrait of him who owned the
pocket-book, and bore beneath it the name ‘Robespierre.’
‘Now, sir, for your communication,’ said Boivin; ‘and take care that
it is of sufficient importance to warrant the interview you have asked
for.’
‘I have no fears on that score,’ said I calmly, still scanning the
features of the portrait, and satisfying myself of their identity.
‘Look at me, sir, and not at that picture,’ said Boivin.
‘And yet it is of M. Robespierre I have to speak,’ said I coolly.
‘How so--of M. Robespierre, boy? What is the meaning of this? If it be a
snare--if this be a trick, you never leave this spot living,’ cried
he, as he placed a massive hand on each of my shoulders and shook me
violently.
‘I am not so easily to be terrified, citizen,’ said I; ‘nor have I any
secret cause for fear, whatever you may have. My business is of another
kind. This morning, in passing out to his carriage, he dropped his
pocket-book, which I picked up. Its contents may well be of a kind that
should not be read by other eyes than his own. My request is, then, that
you will seal it up before me, and then send some one along with me,
while I restore it to its owner.’
‘Is this a snare--what secret mischief have we here?’ said Boivin, half
aloud, as he wiped the cold drops of perspiration from his forehead.
‘Any mishap that follows will depend upon your refusal to do what I
ask.’
‘How so--I never refused it; you dare not tell M. Robespierre that I
refused, sirrah?’
‘I will tell him nothing that is untrue,’ said I calmly; for already a
sense of power had gifted me with composure. ‘If M. Robespierre----’
[Illustration: 054]
‘Who speaks of me here?’ cried the identical personage, as he dashed
hurriedly into the room, and then, not waiting for the reply, went on--’
You must send out your scouts on every side--I lost my pocket-book as I
left this a while ago.’
‘It is here, sir,’ said I, presenting it at once.
‘How--where was it found--in whose keeping has it been, boy?’
‘In mine only; I took it from the ground the same moment that you
dropped it, and then came here to place it in M. Boivin’s hands.’
‘Who has taken care of it since that time?’ continued Robespierre, with
a slow and sneering accentuation on every word.
‘The pocket-book has never left my possession since it quitted yours,’
was my reply.
‘Just so,’ broke in Boivin, now slowly recovering from his terror. ‘Of
its contents I know nothing; nor have I sought to know anything.’
Robespierre looked at me as if to corroborate this statement, and I
nodded my head in acquiescence.
‘Who is your father, boy?’
‘I have none--he was guillotined.’
‘His name?’
‘Tiernay.’
‘Ah, I remember; he was called _l’Irlandais_.’
‘The same.’
‘A famous Royalist was that same Tiernay, and, doubtless, contrived to
leave a heritage of his opinions to his son.’
‘He left me nothing--I have neither house, nor home, nor even bread to
eat.’
‘But you have a head to plan, and a heart to feel, youngster; and it is
better that fellows like you should not want a dinner. Boivin, look to
it that he is taken care of. In a few days I will relieve you of the
charge. You will remain here, boy; there are worse resting-places, I
promise you. There are men who call themselves teachers of the people,
who would ask no better life than free quarters on Boivin.’ And so
saying, he hurriedly withdrew, leaving me face to face with my host.
‘So then, youngster,’ said Boivin, as he scratched his ear thoughtfully,
‘I have gained a pensioner! _Parbleu!_ if life were not an uncertain
thing in these times, there’s no saying how long we might not be blessed
with your amiable company.’
‘You shall not be burthened heavily, citizen,’ said I: ‘let me have my
dinner--I have not eaten since yesterday morning, and I will go my ways
peacefully.’
‘Which means straight to Robespierre’s dwelling, to tell him that I have
turned you out of doors--eh, sirrah?’
‘You mistake me much,’ said I; ‘this would be sorry gratitude for eaten
bread. I meant what I said--that I will not be an unwelcome guest, even
though the alternative be, as it is, something very nigh starvation.’
Boivin did not seem clearly to comprehend the meaning of what I said; or
perhaps my whole conduct and bearing puzzled him, for he made no reply
for several seconds. At last, with a kind of sigh, he said-- ‘Well,
well, it cannot be helped; it must be even as he wished, though the odds
are, he ‘ll never think more about him. Come, lad, you shall have your
dinner.’
I followed him through a narrow, unlighted passage, which opened into
a room, where, at a long table, were seated a number of men and boys at
dinner. Some were dressed as cooks; others wore a kind of grey blouse,
with a badge upon the arm, bearing the name ‘Boivin’ in large letters,
and were, as I afterwards learned, the messengers employed to carry
refreshments into the prison, and who, by virtue of this sign, were
freely admitted within the gates.
Taking my place at the board, I proceeded to eat with a voracity that
only a long fast could have excused; and thus took but little heed of
my companions, whose solecisms in table etiquette might otherwise have
amused me.
‘Art a Marmiton, thou?’ asked an elderly man in a cook’s cap, as he
stared fixedly at me for some seconds.
‘No,’ said I, helping myself and eating away as before.
‘Thou canst never be a commissionaire, friend, with an appetite like
that,’ cried another; ‘I wouldn’t trust thee to carry a casserole to the
fire.’
‘Nor shall I be,’ said I coolly.
‘What trade, then, has the good fortune to possess your shining
abilities.’
‘A trade that thrives well just now, friend--pass me the flask.’
‘Indeed, and what may it be?’
‘Can you not guess, citizen,’ said I, ‘if I tell you that it was never
more in vogue; and, if there be some who will not follow it, they’ll
wear their heads just as safely by holding their peace?’
‘_Parbleu!_ thou hast puzzled me,’ said the chief cook; ‘and if thou
be’st not a coffin-maker----’ A roar of merriment cut short his speech,
in which I myself could not but join heartily.
‘That is, I know,’ said I, ‘a thriving business; but mine is even
better; and, not to mystify you longer, I ‘ll just tell you what I am;
which is, simply, a friend of the Citizen Robespierre.’
The blow told with full force; and I saw, in the terrified looks that
were interchanged around the table, that my sojourn amongst them,
whether destined to be of short or long duration, would not be disturbed
by further liberties. It was truly a reign of terror that same period!
The great agent of everything was the vague and shadowy dread of some
terrible vengeance, against which precautions were all in vain. Men met
each other with secret misgivings, and parted with the same dreadful
distrust. The ties of kindred were all broken; brotherly affection
died out. Existence was become like the struggle for life upon some
shipwrecked raft, where each sought safety by his neighbour’s doom! At
such a time--with such terrible teachings--children became men in
all the sterner features of character; cruelty is a lesson so easily
learned.
As for myself, energetic and ambitious by nature, the ascendency my
first assumption of power suggested was too grateful a passion to be
relinquished. The name--whose spell was like a talisman, because now the
secret engine by which I determined to work out my fortune--Robespierre
had become to my imagination like the slave of Aladdin’s lamp; and
to conjure him up was to be all-powerful Even to Boivin himself this
influence extended; and it was easy to perceive that he regarded the
whole narrative of the pocket-book as a mere fable, invented to obtain a
position as a spy over his household.
I was not unwilling to encourage the belief--it added to my importance,
by increasing the fear I inspired; and thus I walked indolently about,
giving myself those airs of _mouchard_ that I deemed most fitting, and
taking a mischievous delight in the terror I was inspiring.
The indolence of my life, however, soon wearied me, and I began to long
for some occupation, or some pursuit. Teeming with excitement as the
world was--every day, every hour, brimful of events--it was impossible
to sit calmly on the shore, and watch the great, foaming current of
human passions, without longing to be in the stream. Had I been a man
at that time, I should have become a furious orator of the Mountain--an
impassioned leader of the people. The impulse to stand foremost--to take
a bold and prominent position--would have carried me to any lengths. I
had caught up enough of the horrid fanaticism of the time to think that
there was something grand and heroic in contempt for human suffering;
that a man rose proudly above all the weakness of his nature, when, in
the pursuit of some great object, he stifled within his breast every
throb of affection--every sentiment of kindness and mercy. Such were the
teachings rife at the time--such the first lessons that boyhood
learned; and oh! what a terrible hour had that been for humanity if
the generation then born had grown up to manhood unchastened and
unconverted!
But to return to my daily life. As I perceived that a week had now
elapsed, and the Citizen Robespierre had not revisited the ‘restaurant,’
nor taken any interest in my fate or fortunes, I began to fear lest
Boivin should master his terror regarding me, and take heart to put me
out of doors--an event which, in my present incertitude, would have
been sorely inconvenient. I resolved, therefore, to practise a petty
deception on my host, to sustain the influence of terror over him. This
was, to absent myself every day at a certain hour, under the pretence of
visiting my patron; letting fall, from time to time, certain indications
to show in what part of the city I had been, and occasionally, as if
in an unguarded moment, condescending to relate some piece of popular
gossip. None ventured to inquire the source of my information--not one
dared to impugn its veracity. Whatever their misgivings in secret, to
myself they displayed the most credulous faith. Nor was their trust so
much misplaced, for I had, in reality, become a perfect chronicle of all
that went forward in Paris--never missing a debate in the Convention,
where my retentive memory could carry away almost verbally all that
I heard--ever present at every public fête or procession, whether the
occasions were some insulting desecration of their former faith, or some
tasteless mockery of heathen ceremonial.
My powers of mimicry, too, enabled me to imitate all the famous
characters of the period; and in my assumed inviolability, I used to
exhibit the uncouth gestures and spluttering utterance of Marat--the
wild and terrible ravings of Danton--and even the reedy treble of my own
patron Robespierre, as he screamed denunciations against the enemies
of the people. It is true these exhibitions of mine were only given in
secret to certain parties, who, by a kind of instinct, I felt could be
trusted.
Such was my life, as one day, returning from the Convention, I beheld
a man affixing to a wall a great placard, to which the passing crowd
seemed to pay deep attention. It was a decree of the Committee of Public
Safety, containing the names of above seven hundred Royalists, who were
condemned to death, and who were to be executed in three _tournées_, on
three successive days.
For sometime back the mob had not been gratified with a spectacle of
this nature. In the ribald language of the day, the ‘holy guillotine had
grown thirsty from long drought’; and they read the announcement
with greedy eyes, commenting as they went upon those whose names were
familiar to them. There were many of noble birth among the proscribed,
but by far the greater number were priests, the whole sum of whose
offending seemed written in the simple and touching words, _ancien
curé_, of such a parish! It was strange to mark the bitterness of
invective with which the people loaded these poor and innocent men, as
though they were the source of all their misfortunes. The lazy indolence
with which they reproached them seemed ten times more offensive in their
eyes than the lives of ease and affluence led by the nobility. The fact
was, they could not forgive men of their own rank and condition what
they pardoned in the well born and the noble! an inconsistency that has
characterised democracy in other situations beside this.
As I ran my eyes down the list of those confined in the Temple, I came
to a name which smote my heart with a pang of ingratitude as well as
sorrow--the ‘Père Michel Delannois, soi disant curé de St. Blois’--my
poor friend and protector was there among the doomed! If, up to that
moment, I had made no effort to see him, I must own the reason lay in my
own selfish feeling of shame--the dread that he should mark the change
that had taken place in me, a change that I felt extended to all about
me, and showed itself in my manner as it influenced my every action. It
was not alone that I lost the obedient air and quiet submissiveness of
the child, but I had assumed the very extravagance of that democratic
insolence which was the mode among the leading characters of the time.
How should I present myself before him, the very impersonation of
all the vices against which he used to warn me--how exhibit the utter
failure of all his teachings and his hopes? What would this be but to
embitter his reflections needlessly. Such were the specious reasons with
which I fed my self-love, and satisfied my conscience; but now, as I
read his name in that terrible catalogue, their plausibility served me
no longer, and at last I forgot myself to remember only him.
‘I will see him at once,’ thought I, ‘whatever it may cost me--I will
stay beside him for his last few hours of life; and when he carries
with him from this world many an evil memory of shame and treachery,
ingratitude from me shall not increase the burthen.’ And with this
resolve I turned my steps homeward.