The sudden change in Mrs. Skiddy's matrimonial prospects necessitated
Ruth to seek other quarters. With a view to still more rigid economy,
she hired a room without board, in the lower part of the city.
Mrs. Waters, her new landlady, was one of that description of females,
whose vision is bounded by a mop, scrubbing-brush, and dust-pan; who
repudiate rainy washing days; whose hearth, Jowler, on the stormiest
night, would never venture near without a special permit, and whose
husband and children speak under their breath on baking and cleaning
days. Mrs. Waters styled herself a female physician. She kept a sort of
witch's cauldron constantly boiling over the fire, in which seethed all
sorts of "mints" and "yarbs," and from which issued what she called
a "potecary odor." Mrs. Waters, when not engaged in stirring this
cauldron, or in her various house-keeping duties, alternated her leisure
in reading medical books, attending medical lectures, and fondling a
pet skull, which lay on the kitchen-dresser.
Various little boxes of brown-bread-looking pills ornamented the upper
shelf, beside a row of little dropsical chunky junk bottles, whose
labels would have puzzled the most erudite M. D. who ever received a
diploma. Mrs. Waters felicitated herself on knowing how the outer and
inner man of every son of Adam was put together, and considered the
times decidedly "out of joint;" inasmuch that she, Mrs. Waters, had not
been called upon by her country to fill some medical professorship.
In person Mrs. Waters was barber-pole-ish and ram-rod-y, and her taste
in dress running mostly to stringy fabrics, assisted the bolster-y
impression she created; her hands and wrists bore a strong resemblance
to the yellow claws of defunct chickens, which children play "scare"
with about Thanksgiving time; her feet were of turtle flatness, and her
eyes--if you ever provoked a cat up to the bristling and scratching
point, you may possibly form an idea of them.
Mrs. Waters condescended to allow Ruth to keep the quart of milk and
loaf of bread, (which was to serve for her bill of fare for every day's
three meals,) on a swing shelf in a corner of the cellar. As Ruth's room
was at the top of the house, it was somewhat of a journey to travel up
and down, and the weather was too warm to keep it up stairs; to her
dismay she soon found that the cellar-floor was generally more or less
flooded with water, and the sudden change from the heated air of her
attic to the dampness of the cellar, brought on a racking cough, which
soon told upon her health. Upon the first symptom of it, Mrs. Waters
seized a box of pills and hurried to her room, assuring her that it was
"a sure cure, and only three shillings a box."
"Thank you," said Ruth; "but it is my rule never to take medicine
unless--"
"Oh, oh," said Mrs. Waters, bridling up; "I see--unless it is ordered by
a physician, you were going to say; perhaps you don't know that _I_ am
a physician--none the worse for being a female. I have investigated
things; I have dissected several cats, and sent in an analysis of them
to the Medical Journal; it has never been published, owing, probably, to
the editor being out of town. If you will take six of these pills every
other night," said the doctress, laying the box on the table, "it will
cure your cough; it is only three shillings. I will take the money now,
or charge it in your bill."
"Three shillings!" Ruth was aghast; she might as well have asked her
three dollars. If there was anything Ruth was afraid of, it was Mrs.
Waters' style of woman; a loaded cannon, or a regiment of dragoons,
would have had few terrors in comparison. But the music must be faced;
so, hoping to avoid treading on her landlady's professional toes, Ruth
said, "I think I'll try first what dieting will do, Mrs. Waters."
The door instantly banged to with a crash, as the owner and vender
of the pills passed out. The next day Mrs. Waters drew off a little
superfluous feminine bile, by announcing to Ruth, with a malignity
worthy of her sex, "that she forgot to mention when she let her
lodgings, that she should expect her to scour the stairs she traveled
over, at least once a week."