How well I remember coming to myself as I lay there on the grass, with
our old surgeon, Mr Hughes, kneeling by my side; for it was our own men
that formed the infantry of the column, with a troop of lancers, and one
of horse-artillery. There was Colonel Maine kneeling by his wife, who,
poor soul, was recovering fast, and him turning from her to the
children, and back again; while it was hard work to keep our men from
following up the pursuit, now kept up by the lancers and
horse-artillery, so mad and excited were they to find only eight wounded
men out of the company they had left.
But, one way and another, the mutineers paid dear for what suffering
they caused us. I can undertake to say that, for every life they took,
half-a-dozen of their own side fell--the explosion swept away, I
suppose, quite fifty, just as they had attempted a surprise, and came
over from the south side in a night-attack; while the way in which they
were cut up in the engagement was something awful.
For, anxious beyond measure at not hearing news of the party left in
Begumbagh, Colonel Maine had at length obtained permission to go round
by that station, reinforce the troops, and then join the general by
another route.
They were making forced marches, when they caught sight of the rebels
yelling round the burning building, fully a couple of hundred being
outside; when, not knowing of the sore strait of those within, they had
charged down, driving the murderous black scoundrels before them like so
much chaff.
But you, must not think that our pains were at an end. Is it not told
in the pages of history how for long enough it was a hard fight for a
standing in India, and how our troops were in many places sore put to
it; while home after home was made desolate by the most cruel outrages?
It was many a long week before we could be said to be in safety; but I
don't know that I suffered much beyond the pains of that arm, or rather
that stump, for our surgeon, Mr Hughes, when I grumbled a little at his
taking it off, told me I might be very thankful that I had escaped with
life, for he had never known of such a case before. But it was rather
hard lying alone there in the temporary hospital, missing the tender
hands that one loved.
And yet I have no right to say quite alone, for poor old Measles was on
one side, and Joe Bantem on the other, with Mrs Bantem doing all she
could for us three, as well as five more of our poor fellows.
More than once I heard Mr Hughes talk about the men's wounds, and say
it was wonderful how they could live through them; but to live they all
seemed disposed, except poor Measles, who was terrible bad and
delirious, till one day, when he could hardly speak above a whisper, he
says to me--being quite in his right mind:
"I daresay some of you chaps think that I'm going to take my discharge;
but all the same, you're wrong, for I mean to go in now for promotion!"
He said "now;" but what he did then was to go in for sleep--and sleep he
did for a good four-and-twenty hours, when he woke up grumbling, and
calling himself the most unlucky beggar that ever breathed.
Time went on; and one by one we poor fellows got out of hospital cured;
but I was the last; and it was many months after, that, at his wish, I
called upon Captain--then Major--Dyer, at his house in London. For,
during those many months, the mutiny had been suppressed, and our
regiment had been ordered home.
I was very weak and pale, and I hadn't got used to this empty sleeve,
and things looked very gloomy ahead; but, somehow, that day when I
called at Major Dyer's seemed the turning-point; for to a poor soldier
there was something very soothing for your old officer to jump up, with
both hands outstretched to catch yours, and to greet you as warmly as
did his handsome, bonny wife.
They seemed as if they could hardly make enough of me; but the sight of
their happiness made me feel low-spirited; and I felt no better when
Mrs Dyer--God bless her!--took my hand in hers, and led me to the next
room, where she said there was an old friend wanted to see me.
I felt that soft jewelled hand holding mine, and I heard the door close
as Mrs Dyer went out again, and then I stood seeing nothing--hearing
nothing--feeling nothing, but a pair of clinging arms round my neck, and
a tear-wet face pressed to mine.
And did that make me feel happy?
No! I can say it with truth. For as the mist cleared away from my
eyes, and I looked down on, to me, the brightest, truest face the sun
ever shone on, there was a great sorrow in my heart, as I told myself
that it was a sin and a wrong for me, a poor invalided soldier, to think
of taking advantage of that fine handsome girl, and tying her down to
one who was maimed for life.
And at last, with the weak tears running down my cheeks, I told her of
how it could not be; that I should be wronging her, and that she must
think no more of me, only as a dear friend; when there is that amount of
folly in this world, that my heart swelled, and a great ball seemed
rising in my throat, and I choked again and again, as those arms clung
tighter and tighter round my neck, and Lizzy called me her hero, and her
brave lad who had saved her life again and again; and asked me to take
her to my heart, and keep her there, for her to try and be to me a
worthy loving wife--one that would never say a bitter word to me as long
as she lived.
I said that there was so much folly in this world, so how can you wonder
at me catching it of her, when she was so close that I could feel her
breath upon my cheeks, my hair, my eyes, as once more, forgetting all in
her love, she kissed me again and again. How, then, could I help, but
with that one hand press her to my heart, and go the way that weak heart
of mine wished.
I know it was wrong; but how can one always fight against weakness?
And, to tell you the truth, I had fought long enough--so long that I
wished for peace. And I must say this, too, you must not be hard on
Lizzy, and think that it would have been better for her to have let me
do a little more of the courting: there are exceptional cases, and this
was one.
I had a true friend in Major Dyer, and to him I owe my present
position--not a very grand one; but speaking honestly as a man, I don't
believe, if I had been a general, some one at home could think more of
me; while, as to this empty sleeve, she's proud of it, and says that all
the country is the same.
Wandering about as a regiment is, one does not often have a chance to
see one's old messmates; but Sergeant and Mrs Bantem and Sergeant
Measles did have tea and supper with us one night here in London, Mrs
Bantem saying that Measles was as proud of his promotion as a dog with
two tails, though Measles did say he was an unlucky beggar, or he'd have
been a captain. And, my! what a night we did have of that, without one
drawback, only Measles would spit on my wife's Brussels carpet; and so
we did have a night last year when the old regiment was stationed at
Edinburgh, and the wife and me had a holiday, and went down and saw
Colonel and Mrs Maine, and those children grown up a'most into a man
and woman. But Colonel Dyer had exchanged into another regiment, and
they say he is going to retire on half-pay, on account of his wound
troubling him.
We fought our old battles over again on those nights; and we did not
forget the past and gone; for Mrs Bantem stood up after supper, with
her stiff glass of grog in her hand--a glass into which I saw a couple
of tears fall, as she spoke of the dead--the brave men who fell in
defence of the defenceless and innocent, hoping that the earth lay
lightly on the grave of Lieutenant Leigh, while she proposed the memory
of brave Harry Lant.
We drank that toast in silence; and more than one eye was wet as the old
scenes came back--scenes such as I hope may never fall to the lot of men
again to witness; for if there is ever a fervent prayer sent up to the
Maker of All by me, an old soldier, who has much to answer for, it is
contained in those words, so familiar to you all:
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"Peace on Earth!" _Amen_.