MY HOME.
The next day we were to go to Magnolia. It was a better day
than I expected. Preston kept me with him, away from aunt Gary
and my governess; who seemed to have a very comfortable time
together. Magnolia lay some miles inland, up a small stream or
inlet called the Sands river; the banks of which were studded
with gentlemen's houses. The houses were at large distances
from one another, miles of plantation often lying between. We
went by a small steamer which plied up and down the river; it
paddled along slowly, made a good many landings, and kept us
on board thus a great part of the day.
At last Preston pointed out to me a little wooden pier or
jetty ahead, which he said was my landing; and the steamer
soon drew up to it. I could see only a broken bank, fifteen
feet high, stretching all along the shore. However, a few
steps brought us to a receding level bit of ground, where
there was a break in the bank; the shore fell in a little, and
a wooded dell sloped back from the river. A carriage and
servants were waiting here.
Preston and I had arranged that we would walk up and let the
ladies ride. But as soon as they had taken their places I
heard myself called. We declared our purpose, Preston and I;
but Miss Pinshon said the ground was damp and she preferred I
should ride; and ordered me in. I obeyed, bitterly
disappointed; so much disappointed that I had the utmost
trouble not to let it be seen. For a little while I did not
know what we were passing. Then curiosity recovered itself.
The carriage was slowly making its way up a rough road. On
each side the wooded banks of the dell shut us in; and these
banks seemed to slope upward as well as the road, for though
we mounted and mounted, the sides of the dell grew no lower.
After a little, then, the hollow of the dell began to grow
wider, and its sides softly shelving down; and through the
trees on our left we could see a house, standing high above
us, but on ground which sloped towards the dell, which rose
and widened and spread out to meet it. This sloping ground was
studded with magnificent live oaks; each holding its place in
independent majesty, making no interference with the growth of
the rest. Some of these trees had a girth that half a dozen
men with their arms outstretched in a circle could not span;
they were green in spite of the winter; branching low, and
spreading into stately, beautiful heads of verdure, while grey
wreaths of moss hung drooping from some of them. The house was
seen not very distinctly among these trees; it showed low, and
in a long extent of building. I have never seen a prettier
approach to a house than that at Magnolia. My heart was full
of the beauty, this first time.
"This is Magnolia, Daisy," said my aunt. "This is your house."
"It appears a fine place," said Miss Pinshon.
"It is one of the finest on the river. This is your property,
Daisy."
"It is papa's," I answered.
"Well, it belongs to your mother, and so you may say it
belongs to your father; but it is yours for all that. The
arrangement was, as I know," my aunt went on, addressing Miss
Pinshon, "the arrangement in the marriage settlements was,
that the sons should have the father's property, and the
daughters the mother's. There is one son and one daughter; so
they will each have enough."
"But it is mamma's and papa's," I pleaded.
"Oh, well it will be yours. That is what I mean. Ransom will
have Melbourne and the Virginia estates; and Magnolia is
yours. You ought to have a pretty good education."
I was so astonished at this way of looking at things, that
again I lost part of what was before me. The carriage went
gently along, passing the house, and coming up gradually to
the same level; then making a turn we drove at a better pace
back under some of those great evergreen oaks, till we drew up
at the house door. This was at a corner of the building, which
stretched in a long, low line towards the river. A verandah
skirted all that long front. As soon as I was out of the
carriage I ran to the furthest end. I found the verandah
turned the corner; the lawn too. All along the front, it
sloped to the dell; at the end of the house, it sloped more
gently and to greater distance down to the banks of the river.
I could not see the river itself. The view of the dell at my
left hand was lovely. A little stream which ran in the bottom
had been coaxed to form a clear pool in an open spot, where
the sunlight fell upon it, surrounded by a soft wilderness of
trees and climbers. Sweet branches of jessamine waved there in
their season; and a beautiful magnolia had been planted or
cherished there, and carefully kept in view of the house
windows. But the wide lawns, on one side and on the other,
grew nothing but the oaks; the gentle slope was a playground
for sunshine and shadow, as I first saw it; for then the
shadows of the oaks were lengthening over the grass, and the
waving grey wreaths of moss served sometimes as a foil,
sometimes as an her, to the sunbeams. I stood in a trance of
joy and sorrow; they were fighting so hard for the mastery;
till I knew that my aunt and Miss Pinshon had come up behind
me.
"This is a proud place!" my governess remarked.
I believe I looked at her. My aunt laughed; said she must not
teach me that; and led the way back to the entrance of the
house. All along the verandah I noticed that the green blinded
long windows made other entrances for whoever chose them.
The door was open for us already, and within was a row of dark
faces of men and women, and a show of white teeth that looked
like a welcome. I wondered aunt Gary did not say more to
answer the welcome; she only dropped a few careless words as
she went in, and asked if dinner was ready. I looked from one
to another of the strange faces and gleaming rows of teeth.
These were my mother's servants; that was something that came
near to my heart. I heard inquiries after "Mis' Felissy," and
"Mass' Randolph," and then the question, "Mis' 'Lizy, is this
little missis?" It was asked by an old, respectable-looking,
grey-haired negress. I did not hear my aunt's answer; but I
stopped and turned to the woman and laid my little hand in her
withered palm. I don't know what there was in that minute;
only I know that whereas I touched one hand, I touched a great
many hearts. Then and there began my good understanding with
all the coloured people on my mother's estate of Magnolia.
There was a general outburst of satisfaction and welcome. Some
of the voices blessed me; more than one remarked that I was
"like Mass' Randolph;" and I went into the parlour with a warm
spot in my heart, which had been very cold.
I was oddly at home at once. The room indeed was a room I had
never seen before; yet according to the mystery of such
things, the inanimate surroundings bore the mark of the tastes
and habits I had grown up among all my life. A great splendid
fire was blazing in the chimney; a rich carpet was on the
floor; the furniture was luxurious though not showy, and there
was plenty of it. So there was a plenty of works of art, in
home and foreign manufacture. Comfort, elegance, prettiness,
all around; and through the clear, glass of the long windows
the evergreen oaks on the lawn showed like guardians of the
place. I stood at one of them, with the pressure of that joy
and sorrow filling my childish heart.
My aunt presently called me from the window, and bade me let
Margaret take off my things. I got leave to go up stairs with
Margaret and take them off there. So I ran up the low easy
flight of stairs they were wooden and uncarpeted to a
matted gallery lit from the roof, with here and there a window
in a recess looking upon the lawn. Many rooms opened into this
gallery. I went from one to another. Here were great wood
fires burning too; here were snowy white beds, with light
muslin hangings; and dark cabinets and wardrobes; and mats on
the floors, with thick carpets and rugs laid down here and
there. And on one side and on the other side the windows
looked out upon the wide lawn, with its giant oaks hung with
grey wreaths of moss. My heart grew sore straitened. It was a
hard evening, that first evening at Magnolia; with the
loveliness and the brightness, the warm attraction, and the
bitter cold sense of loneliness. I longed to throw myself down
and cry. What I did, was to stand by one of the windows and
fight myself not to let the tears come. If _they_ were here, it
would be so happy! If they were here oh, if they were here!
I believe the girl spoke to me without my hearing her. But
then came somebody whom I was obliged to hear, shouting
"Daisy" along the gallery. I faced him with a great effort. He
wanted to know what I was doing, and how I liked it, and where
my room was.
"Not found it yet?" said Preston. "Is this it? Whose room is
this, hey? you somebody?"
"Maggie, massa," said the girl, dropping a curtsey.
"Maggie, where is your mistress's room?"
"This is Mis' 'Liza's room, sir."
"Nonsense! Mis' 'Liza is only here on a visit _this_ is your
mistress. Where is her room, hey?"
"Oh, stop, Preston!" I begged him. "I am not mistress."
"Yes, you are. I'll roast anybody who says you ain't. Come
along, and you shall choose which room you will have; and if
it isn't ready they will get it ready. Come!"
I made him understand my choice might depend on where other
people's rooms were; and sent him off. Then I sent the girl
away she was a pleasant-faced mulatto, very eager to help me
and left to myself I hurriedly turned the key in the lock. I
_must_ have some minutes to myself, if I was to bear the burden
of that afternoon; and I knelt down with as heavy a heart,
almost, as I ever knew. In all my life I had never felt so
castaway and desolate. When my father and mother first went
from me, I was at least among the places where they had been;
June was with me still, and I knew not Miss Pinshon. The
journey had had its excitements and its interest. Now I was
alone; for June had decided, with tears and woeful looks, that
she would not come to Magnolia; and Preston would be soon on
his way back to college. I knew of only one comfort in the
world; that wonderful, "Lo, I am with you." Does anybody know
what that means, who has not made it the single plank bridge
over an abyss?
No one found out that anything was the matter with me, except
Preston. His caresses were dangerous to my composure. I kept
him off; and he ate his dinner with a thundercloud face which
foretold war with all governesses. For me, it was hard work
enough to maintain my quiet; everything made it hard. Each new
room, every arrangement of furniture, every table appointment,
though certainly not what I had seen before, yet seemed so
like home that I was constantly missing what would have made
it home indeed. It was the shell without the kernel. The soup
ladle seemed to be by mistake in the wrong hands; Preston
seemed to have no business with my father's carving knife and
fork; the sense of desolation pressed upon me everywhere.
After dinner, the ladies went up stairs to choose their rooms,
and Miss Pinshon avowed that she wished to have mine within
hers; it would be proper and convenient, she said. Aunt Gary
made no objection; but there was some difficulty, because all
the rooms had independent openings into the gallery. Miss
Pinshon hesitated a moment between one of two that opened into
each other and another that was pleasanter and larger but
would give her less facility for overlooking my affairs. For
one moment I drew a breath of hope; and then my hope was
quashed. Miss Pinshon chose one of the two that opened into
each other; and my only comfort was in the fact that my own
room had two doors and I was not obliged to go through Miss
Pinshon's to get to it. Just as this business was settled,
Preston called me out into the gallery and asked me to go for
a walk. I questioned with myself a second, whether I should
ask leave; but I had an inward assurance that to ask leave
would be not to go. I felt I must go. I ran back to the room
where my things lay, and in two minutes I was out of the
house.
My first introduction to Magnolia! How well I remember every
minute and every foot of the way. It was delicious, the
instant I stepped out among the oaks and into the sunshine.
Freedom was there, at all events.
"Now Daisy, we'll go to the stables," Preston said, "and see
if there is anything fit for you. I am afraid there isn't;
though Edwards told me he thought there was."
"Who is Edwards?" I asked, as we sped joyfully away through
the oaks, across shade and sunshine.
"Oh, he is the overseer."
"What is an overseer?"
"What is an overseer? why, he is the man that looks after
things."
"What things?" I asked.
"All the things everything, Daisy; all the affairs of the
plantation; the rice-fields and the cotton-fields, and the
people, and everything."
"Where are the stables? and where are we going?"
"Here just here a little way off. They are just in a dell
over here the other side of the house, where the quarters
are."
"Quarters"? I repeated.
"Yes. Oh, you don't know anything down here, but you'll learn.
The stables and quarters are in this dell we are coming to;
nicely out of sight. Magnolia is one of the prettiest places
on the river."
We had passed through the grove of oaks on the further side of
the house, and then found the beginning of a dell which, like
the one by which we had come up a few hours before, sloped
gently down to the river. In its course it widened out to a
little low sheltered open ground, where a number of buildings
stood.
"So the house is between two dells," I said.
"Yes; and on that height up there, beyond the quarters, is the
cemetery; and from there you can see a great many fields and
the river and have a beautiful view. And there are capital
rides all about the place, Daisy."
When we came to the stables, Preston sent a boy in search of
"Darius." Darius, he told me, was the coachman, and chief in
charge of the stable department. Darius came presently. He was
a grey-headed, fine-looking, most respectable black man. He
had driven my mother and my mother's mother; and being a
trusted and important man on the place, and for other reasons,
he had a manner and bearing that were a model of dignified
propriety. Very grave "uncle Darry" was; stately and almost
courtly in his respectful courtesy; but he gave me a pleasant
smile when Preston presented him.
"We's happy to see Miss Daisy at her own home. Hope de Lord
bress her."
My heart warmed at these words like the ice-bound earth in a
spring day. They were not carelessly spoken, nor was the
welcome. My feet trod the greensward more firmly. Then all
other thoughts were for the moment put to flight by Preston's
calling for the pony and asking Darius what he thought of him,
and Darry's answer.
"Very far, massa; very far. Him no good for not'ing."
While I pondered what this judgment might amount to, the pony
was brought out. He was larger than Loupe, and had not Loupe's
peculiar symmetry of mane and tail; he was a fat dumpy little
fellow, sleek and short, dapple grey, with a good long tail
and a mild eye. Preston declared he had no shape at all and
was a poor concern of a pony; but to my eyes he was beautiful.
He took one or two sugarplums from my hand with as much
amenity as if we had been old acquaintances. Then a boy was
put on him, who rode him up and down with a halter.
"He'll do, Darius," said Preston.
"For little missis? Just big enough, massa. Got no tricks at
all, only he no like work. Not much spring in him."
"Daisy must take the whip, then. Come and let us go look at
some of the country where you will ride. Are you tired,
Daisy?"
"Oh, no," I said. "But wait a minute, Preston. Who lives in
all those houses?"
"The people. The hands. They are away in the fields at work
now."
"Does Darius live there?"
"Of course. They all live here."
"I should like to go nearer, and see the houses."
"Daisy, it is nothing on earth to see. They are all just
alike; and you see them from here."
"I want to look in," I said, moving down the slope.
"Daisy," said Preston, you are just as fond of having your own
way as "
"As what? I do not think I am, Preston."
"I suppose nobody thinks he is," grumbled Preston, following
me, "except the fellows who can't get it."
I had by this time almost forgotten Miss Pinshon. I had almost
come to think that Magnolia might be a pleasant place. In the
intervals, when the pony was out of sight, I had improved my
knowledge of the old coachman; and every look added to my
liking. There was something I could not read that more and
more drew me to him. A simplicity in his good manners, a
placid expression in his gravity, a staid reserve in his
humility, were all there; and more yet. Also the scene in the
dell was charming to me. The ground about the negro cottages
was kept neat; they were neatly built of stone and stood round
the sides of a quadrangle; while on each side and below the
wooded slopes of ground closed in the picture. Sunlight was
streaming through and brightening up the cottages and resting
on uncle Darry's swarth face. Down through the sunlight I went
to the cottages. The first door stood open, and I looked in.
At the next I was about to knock, but Preston pushed open the
door for me; and so he did for a third and a fourth. Nobody
was in them. I was a good deal disappointed. They were empty,
bare, dirty, and seemed to me very forlorn. What a set of
people my mother's hands must be, I thought. Presently I came
upon a ring of girls, a little larger than I was, huddled
together behind one of the cottages. There was no manners
about them. They were giggling and grinning, hopping on one
foot, and going into other awkward antics; not the less that
most of them had their arms filled with little black babies. I
had got enough for that day, and turning about left the dell
with Preston.
At the head of the dell, Preston led off in a new direction,
along a wide avenue that ran through the woods. Perfectly
level and smooth, with the woods closing in on both sides and
making long vistas through their boles and under their boughs.
By and by we took another path that led off from this one,
wide enough for two horses to go abreast. The pine trees were
sweet overhead and on each hand, making the light soft and the
air fragrant. Preston and I wandered on in delightful roaming;
leaving the house and all that it contained at an unremembered
distance. Suddenly we came out upon a cleared field. It was
many acres large; in the distance a number of people were at
work. We turned back again.
"Preston," I said, after a silence of a few minutes, "there
seemed to be no women in those cottages. I did not see any."
"I suppose not," said Preston; "because there were not any to
see."
"But had all those little babies no mothers?"
"Yes, of course, Daisy; but they were in the field."
"The mothers of those little babies?"
"Yes. What about it? Look here are you getting tired?"
I said no; and he put his arm round me fondly, so as to hold
me up a little; and we wandered gently on, back to the avenue,
then down its smooth course further yet from the house, then
off by another wood path through the pines on the other side.
This was a narrower path, amidst sweeping pine branches and
hanging creepers, some of them prickly, which threw themselves
all across the way. It was not easy getting along. I remarked
that nobody seemed to come there much.
"I never came here myself," said Preston, "but I know it must
lead out upon the river somewhere, and that's what I am after.
Hollo! we are coming to something. There is something white
through the trees. I declare, I believe "
Preston had been out in his reckoning, and a second time had
brought me where he did not wish to bring me. We came
presently to an open place, or rather a place where the pines
stood a little apart; and there in the midst was a small
enclosure. A low brick wall surrounded a square bit of ground,
with an iron gate in one side of the square; within, the
grassy plot was spotted with the white marble of tombstones.
There were large and small. Overhead, the great pine trees
stood and waved their long branches gently in the wind. The
place was lonely and lovely. We had come, as Preston guessed,
to the river, and the shore was here high; so that we looked
down upon the dark little stream far below us. The sunlight,
getting low by this time, hardly touched it; but streamed
through the pine trees and over the grass and gilded the white
marble with gold.
"I did not mean to bring you here," said Preston. "I did not
know I was bringing you here. Come, Daisy we'll go and try
again."
"Oh, stop!" I said "I like it. I want to look at it."
"It is the cemetery," said Preston. "That tall column is the
monument of our great no, of our great-great-grandfather;
and this brown one is for mamma's father. Come, Daisy! "
"Wait a little," I said. "Whose is that with the vase on top?"
"Vase?" said Preston "it's an urn. It is an urn, Daisy.
People do not put vases on tombstones."
I asked what the difference was.
"The difference? Oh, Daisy, Daisy! Why vases are to put
flowers in; and urns I'll tell you, Daisy, I believe it is
because the Romans used to burn the bodies of their friends
and gather up the ashes and keep them in a funeral urn. So an
urn comes to be appropriate to a tombstone."
"I do not see how," I said.
"Why, because an urn comes to be an emblem of mortality and
all that. Come, Daisy; let us go."
"I think a vase of flowers would be a great deal nicer," I
said. "We do not keep the ashes of our friends."
"We don't put signs of joy over their graves either," said
Preston.
"I should think we might," I said, meditatively. "When people
have gone to Jesus they must be very glad!"
Preston burst out with an expression of hope that Miss Pinshon
would "do something" for me; and again would have led me away;
but I was not ready to go. My eye, roving beyond the white
marble and the low brick wall, had caught what seemed to be a
number of meaner monuments, scattered among the pine trees and
spreading down the slope of the ground on the further side,
where it fell off towards another dell. In one place a bit of
board was set up; further on, a cross; then I saw a great many
bits of board and crosses; some more and some less carefully
made; and still as my eye roved about over the ground they
seemed to start up to view in every direction; too low and too
humble and too near the colour of the fallen pine leaves to
make much show unless they were looked for. I asked what they
all were?
"Those? Oh, those are for the people, you know."
"The people?" I repeated.
"Yes, the people the hands."
"There are a great many of them!" I remarked.
"Of course," said Preston. "You see, Daisy, there have been I
don't know how many hundreds of hands here for a great many
years, ever since mother's grandfather's time."
"I should think," said I, looking at the little board slips
and crosses among the pine cones on the ground, "I should
think they would like to have something nicer to put up over
their graves."
"Nicer? those are good enough," said Preston. "Good enough for
them."
"I should think they would like to have something better," I
said. "Poor people at the North have nicer monuments, I know.
I never saw such monuments in my life."
"Poor people!" cried Preston. "Why, these are the _hands_,
Daisy, the coloured people. What do they want of monuments?"
"Don't they care?" said I, wondering.
"Who cares if they care? I don't know whether they care," said
Preston, quite out of patience with me, I thought.
"Only, if they cared, I should think they would have something
nicer," I said. "Where do they all go to church, Preston?"
"Who?" said Preston.
"These people?"
"What people? The families along the river, do you mean?"
"No, no," said I; "I mean _our_ people these people; the
hands. You say there are hundreds of them. Where do they go to
church?"
I faced Preston now in my eagerness; for the little board
crosses and the forlorn look of the whole burying ground on
the side of the hill had given me a strange feeling.
"Where do they go to church, Preston?"
"Nowhere, I reckon."
I was shocked, and Preston was impatient. How should he know,
he said; he did not live at Magnolia. And he carried me off.
We went back to the avenue and slowly bent our steps again
towards the house; slowly, for I was tired, and we both, I
think, were busy with our thoughts. Presently I saw a man, a
negro, come into the avenue a little before us with a bundle
of tools on his back. He went as slowly as we, with an
indescribable, purposeless gait. His figure had the same look
too, from his lop-sided old white hat to every fold of his
clothing, which seemed to hang about him just as if it would
as lieve be off as on. I begged Preston to hail him and ask
him the question about church going, which sorely troubled me.
Preston was unwilling and resisted.
"What do you want me to do that for, Daisy?"
"Because aunt Gary told Miss Pinshon that we have to drive six
miles to go to church. Do ask him where they go!"
"They don't go _anywhere_, Daisy," said Preston impatiently;
"they don't care a straw about it, either. All the church they
care about is when they get together in somebody's house and
make a great muss."
"Make a muss!" said I.
"Yes; a regular muss; shouting and crying and having what they
call a good time. That's what some of them do; but I'll wager
if I were to ask him about going to church, this fellow here
would not know what I mean."
This did by no means quiet me. I insisted that Preston should
stop the man; and at last he did. I The fellow turned and came
back towards us, ducking his old white hat. His face was just
like the rest of him: there was no expression in it but an
expression of limp submissiveness.
"Sambo, your mistress wants to speak to you."
"Yes, massa. I's George, massa."
"George," said I, "I want to know where you go to church?"
"Yes, missis. What missis want to know?"
"Where do you and all the rest go to church?"
"Reckon don't go nowhar, missis."
"Don't you ever go to church?"
"Church for white folks, missis; bery far; long ways to ride."
"But you and the rest of the people don't you go anywhere to
church? to hear preaching?"
"Reckon not, missis. De preachin's don't come dis way,
likely."
"Can you read the Bible, George?"
"Dunno read, missis. Never had no larnin'."
"Then don't you know anything about what is in the Bible?
don't you know about Jesus?"
"Reckon don't know not'ing, missis."
"About Jesus?" said I again.
" 'Clar, missis, dis nigger don't know not'ing, but de rice and
de corn. Missis talk to Darry; he most knowin' nigger on
plantation; knows a heap."
"There!" exclaimed Preston "that will do. You go off to your
supper, George and Daisy, you had better come on if you want
anything pleasant at home. What on earth have you got now by
that? What is the use? Of course they do not know anything;
and why should they? They have no time and no use for it."
"They have time on Sundays " I said.
"Time to sleep. That is what they do. That is the only thing a
negro cares about, to go to sleep in the sun. It's all
nonsense, Daisy."
"They would care about something else, I dare say," I
answered, "if they could get it."
"Well, they can't get it. Now, Daisy, I want you to let these
fellows alone. You have nothing to do with them, and you did
not come to Magnolia for such work. You have nothing on earth
to do with them."
I had my own thoughts on the subject, but Preston was not a
sympathising hearer. I said no more. The evergreen oaks about
the house came presently in sight; then the low verandah that
ran round three sides of it; then we came to the door, and my
walk was over.