THE EXAMINATION.
"Certainly," said Mr. Amory, "I can well understand that a man of a
generous spirit could hardly fail to cherish a deep and lasting
gratitude for one who devoted herself so disinterestedly to a toilsome
attendance upon the last hours of beloved friends, to whose wants he
himself was prevented from ministering; and the warmth with which you
eulogise this girl does you credit, Sullivan. She must be a young person
of great excellence to have fulfilled so well a promise of such remote
date that it would probably have been ignored by a less disinterested
friend.
"I can hardly believe that a young man who has had the ambition to mark
out, and the energy to pursue, such a course on the road to fortune as
you have thus far successfully followed, can have made a serious resolve
to unite himself and his prospects with an insignificant little
playmate, of unacknowledged birth, without beauty or fortune, unless
there is already an engagement, by which he is bound, or he allows
himself to be drawn on to matrimony by the belief that the highest
compliment he can pay (namely, the offer of himself) will alone cancel
the immense obligations under which he labours. May I ask if you are
already shackled by promises?"
"I am not," replied Willie.
"Then listen a moment. My motives are friendly when I beg you not to act
rashly in a matter which will affect the happiness of your own life; and
to hear, with patience, too, if you can, the few words which I have to
say on the subject. You must mistake, my young friend, if you believe
that the happiness of Gerty, as you call her--a very ugly name--can be
insured, any more than your own, by an ill-assorted union, of which you
will both find cause to repent. You have not seen her for six years,
think then of all that has happened in the meantime, and beware of
acting with precipitation. You have all this time been living abroad in
active life, growing in knowledge of the world, and its various phases
of society. In India you witnessed a mode of life wholly different from
that which prevails with us, or in European cities; but the
independence, both of character and manner, which you there acquired
fitted you admirably for the polished sphere of Parisian life, to which
you were so suddenly introduced, and in which you met with such marked
success.
"Notwithstanding the privilege you enjoy of being presented in polite
circles as the friend of a man so well known and so much respected as
Mr. Clinton, you cannot have been insensible to the marked attentions
bestowed upon you by American residents abroad, or unaware of the
advantage you enjoyed, on your return home, from having been known as
the object of such favour. Though I did not meet you in Paris, I was
there at the same time, and became acquainted with facts which you would
have too much modesty to acknowledge. It is also evident that your pride
must have been flattered by the favourable reception you have met, both
abroad and at home, especially from the young and beautiful women who
have honoured you with their smiles, and among whom she whose name the
crowd already associates with your own stands preeminent.
"When I think of all this, and of those pecuniary hopes you may indulge,
and imagine you flinging all these aside to chivalrously throw yourself
at the feet of your mother's little nurse, I find it impossible to keep
silent and avoid reminding you of the disappointment that must ensue on
finding yourself at once and for ever shut out from participation in
pleasures which have been within your reach and voluntarily discarded.
You must remember that much of the consideration which is paid to a
young bachelor of growing prospects ceases to be awarded to him after
marriage, and is never extended to his bride, unless she be chosen from
the select circles to which he aspires. This unportioned orphan with
whom you propose to share your fate--this little patient
school-mistress----"
"I did not tell you she had ever been a teacher!" exclaimed Willie,
stopping short in his walk up and down the room--"I did not tell you
anything of the sort! How did you know it?"
Mr. Amory, who had thus betrayed more knowledge than he had been
supposed to possess, hesitated a moment, but quickly recovering himself
answered, with apparent frankness, "To tell the truth, Sullivan, I have
seen the girl in company with an old doctor."
"Dr. Jeremy?" asked Willie, quickly.
"The same."
"When did you see her? How did it happen?"
"I happened to see the old gentleman in the course of my travels, and
this Gertrude Flint was with him. He told me a few facts concerning her;
nothing to her disadvantage, however; in warning you against a
misalliance, I speak only in general terms."
Willie looked at Mr. Amory wondering, and was anxious to learn further
particulars. Mr. Amory went on without giving him a chance to speak.
"This Gerty, Sullivan, will be a dead weight upon your hands--a constant
drawback to all your efforts to attain fashionable society, in which she
cannot be fitted to shine. You yourself pronounce her to be without
wealth or beauty; of her family you know nothing, and have certainly
little reason to expect that, if discovered, it would do her any credit.
I believe, then, that I only speak from the dictates of common sense
when I bid you beware how you make, in the disposal of yourself, such an
unequal bargain."
"I am willing to believe, sir," said Willie, "that the arguments you
have adduced upon a question most important to my welfare are based upon
calm reasoning and a disinterested desire to promote my prosperity. I
confess you are the last man, judging from our short acquaintance, from
whom I should have expected such advice, for I had believed you so
indifferent to the applause of the world that they would weigh but
little with you in forming estimates for the guidance of others. Still,
though your suggestions have failed to change my sentiments or
intentions, I thank you for the sincerity and earnestness with which you
have sought to mould my judgment by your own, and will reply to your
arguments with such frankness as will, I think, persuade you that, so
far from following the impulses of a blind enthusiasm, to plunge with
haste into a course of action hereafter to be deplored, I am actuated by
feelings which reason approves, and which have already stood the test of
experience.
"You speak truly when you impute to me a natural taste for good society;
a taste which poverty, and the retirement in which my boyhood was
passed, gave me little opportunity to manifest, but which had some
influence in determining my aims and ambition in life. The fine houses,
equipages, and clothes of the rich had less charm for my fancy than the
ease, refinement, and elegance of manner which distinguished some few of
their owners who came under my observation; and, much as I desired the
attainment of wealth for the sake of intrinsic advantages, and the means
it would afford of contributing to the happiness of others, it would
have seemed to me divested of its value should it fail to secure to its
possessor a free admittance to the polite and polished circle upon which
I looked with admiring eyes.
"I needed not, therefore, the social deprivations I experienced in India
to prepare me to enter with eager zest into the excitement and pleasures
of Parisian life, to which, through the kindness of Mr. Clinton, I
obtained, as it seems you are aware, a free and immediate introduction.
"It is true I was summoned thither at a time when my spirits had been
for months struggling with depression, caused by sad news from home, and
had not, therefore, the least disposition to avail myself of Mr.
Clinton's politeness; but the feebleness of his health, and his
inability to enjoy the gaieties of the place, compelled me to offer
myself as an escort to his daughter, who, fond of society, accepted my
services, thus drawing me into the very whirl and vortex of fashionable
life, in which I soon found much to flatter, bewilder, and intoxicate. I
could not be insensible to the privileges so unexpectedly accorded to
me, nor could my vanity be wholly proof against the assaults made upon
it. Nor was my manliness of character alone at stake. But the soundness
of principle and simplicity of habit implanted in me from childhood, and
hitherto preserved intact, soon found themselves at stake. I had
withstood every kind of gross temptation, but my new associates now
presented it to me in that subtle form which often proves a snare. The
wine-cup could never have enticed me to the disgusting scenes of drunken
revelry; but held in the hands of the polished gentlemen, who had, but a
moment before, been the recipients of popular favour and women's smiles,
it sparkled with a richer lustre, and its bitter dregs were forgotten.
The professed gamester would vainly have sought me for an accomplice;
but I was not equally on my guard against the danger which awaited me
from other unexpected quarters; for how could I believe that my friends,
Mr. Clinton's friends, the ornaments of the sphere in which they moved,
would unfairly win my money, and lead me to ruin? I wonder as I look
back upon my residence in Paris that I did not fall a victim to one of
the snares that were on every side spread for my destruction, and into
which my social disposition and unsophisticated nature rendered me prone
to fall. Nothing but the recollection of my pure-minded and watchful
mother, whose recent death had recalled to my mind her warning
counsels--deemed by me, at the time, unnecessary; but now, springing up
and arming themselves with a solemn meaning--nothing but the
consciousness of her gentle spirit, ever hovering around my path,
saddened by my conflicts, rejoicing in my triumphs, could ever have
given me courage and perseverance to resist, and finally escape, the
pitfalls into which my unwary steps would have plunged me. Had I
approached the outskirts of fashionable life, and been compelled to
linger with longing eyes at the threshold; I might even now be loitering
there, a deceived spectator of joys which it was not permitted to me to
enter and share; or, having gained a partial entrance, be eagerly
employed, in pushing my way onward.
"But admitted at once into the arcana of a sphere I was eager to
penetrate, my eyes were soon opened to the vain and worthless nature of
the bauble Fashion. Not that I did not meet within its courts the wit,
talent, and refinement which I had hoped to find there, or that these
were invariably accompanied by less attractive qualities. No; I truly
believe there is no class which cannot boast of its heroes and heroines,
and that there are, within the walks of fashionable life, men and women
who would grace a wilderness. Nor do I despise forms and ceremonies
which are becoming in themselves, and conducive to elegance and good
breeding. As long as one class is distinguished by education and refined
manners, and another is marked by ignorance and vulgarity, there must be
a dividing line between the two, which neither perhaps would desire to
overstep."
"You are young," said Mr. Amory, "to be such a philosopher. Many a man
has turned away with disgust from an aristocracy into which he could
himself gain no admittance; but few renounce it voluntarily."
"Few, perhaps," replied Willie, "few _young_ men have had to penetrate
its secrets. I may say without treachery, since I speak in general terms
only, that I have seen more ignorance, more ill-breeding, meanness, and
immorality in the so-called aristocracy of our country than I should
have believed it possible would be tolerated there. I have known
instances in which the most accomplished gentleman, or the most
beautiful lady, of a gay circle has given evidence of want of
information on the most common topics. I have seen elegant evening
assemblies disgraced by the greatest rudeness and incivility. I have
seen the lavish expenditure of to-day atoned for by a despicable
parsimony on the morrow; and I have seen a want of principle exhibited
by both sexes, which proves that a high position is no security against
such contamination of the soul as unfits it for an exalted place
hereafter."
"I have witnessed no less myself," said Mr. Amory; "but my experiences
have not been like those of other men, and my sight has been sharpened
by circumstances. I am still astonished that you should have been awake
to these facts."
"I was not at first," answered Willie. "It was only gradually that I
recovered from the blinding effect which the glitter and show of Fashion
imposed upon my perceptions. My suspicions of its falsehood and vanities
were based upon instances of selfishness, folly, and cold-heartedness
which came to my knowledge. I could relate thousands of mean deceits,
contemptible rivalries, and neglect of sacred duties which came under my
immediate observation.
"Especially was I astonished at the effect of an uninterrupted pursuit
of pleasure upon the sensibilities, the tempers, and the domestic
affections of women. Though bearing within my heart an image of female
goodness and purity, this sweet remembrance might possibly have been
driven from its throne and supplanted by one of the lovely faces which
at first bewildered me by their beauty, had these last been the index to
souls of equal perfection. There may be noble and excellent women moving
in the highest walks of life whose beauty and grace are less admirable
than their own high natures; but among those with whom I became
familiarly acquainted there was not one who could in the least compare
with her who was continually present to my memory, who is still, and
ever must be, a model to her sex.
"Gertrude Flint was the standard by which each in my mind was measured.
How could I help contrasting the folly, the worldliness, and the
cold-heartedness around me with the cultivated mind, the
self-sacrificing and affectionate disposition of one who possesses every
quality that can adorn life? You failed to convince me that Gertrude can
in any way be a drawback to the man who shall be so fortunate as to call
her his. For my own part, I desire no better, no more truly aristocratic
position in life than that to which she is so well entitled, and to
which she would be one of the brightest ornaments--the aristocracy of
true refinement, knowledge, grace, and beauty. You talk to me of wealth.
Gertrude has no money in her purse, but her soul is the pure gold, tried
in the furnace of sorrow and affliction, and thence come forth bright
and unalloyed. You speak of family and an honourable birth. She has no
family, and her birth is shrouded in mystery; but the blood that courses
in her veins would never disgrace the race from which she sprung, and
every throb of her unselfish heart allies her to all that is noble.
"You are eloquent upon the subject of beauty. When I parted from
Gertrude, she was, in all but character, a mere child, being only
thirteen years of age. Though much altered and improved since the time
when she first came among us, I scarcely think she could have been said
to possess much of what the world calls beauty. It was a matter of which
I seldom thought or cared; and had I been less indifferent on the
subject, she was so dear to me that I should have been unable to form an
impartial judgment of her claims in this respect.
"I well remember, however, the indignation I once felt at hearing a
fellow-clerk, who had met her in one of our walks, sneeringly contrast
her personal appearance with that of our employer's handsome daughter,
Miss Clinton; and the proportionate rapture with which I listened to the
excellent teacher, Miss Brown, when, being present at a school
examination, I overheard her commenting to a lady upon Gertrude's
wonderful promise in person as well as in mind. Whether the first part
of this promise has been fulfilled I have no means of judging; but as I
recall her dignified and graceful little figure, her large, intelligent,
sparkling eyes, the glow of feeling that lit up her countenance, and the
peaceful, almost majestic expression which purity of soul imparted to
her yet childish features, she stands forth to my remembrance the
embodiment of all that I hold most dear.
"Six years may have outwardly changed her much; but they cannot have
robbed her of what I prize the most. She has charms over which time can
have no power, a grace that is a gift of Heaven, a beauty that is
eternal. Could I ask for more? Do not believe, then, that my fidelity to
my early playmate is an emotion of gratitude merely. It is true I owe
her much--far more than I can ever repay; but the honest warmth of my
affection for the noble girl springs from the truest love of a purity of
character and singleness of heart which I had never seen equalled.
"What is there in the foolish walks of Fashion, the glitter of wealth,
the homage of an idle crowd, that could so elevate my spirit and inspire
my exertions as the thought of a peaceful, happy home, blessed by a
presiding spirit so formed for confidence, love, and a communion that
time can never dissolve and eternity will but render more secure and
unbroken?"
"And she whom you love so well--are you sure----" asked Mr. Phillips,
speaking with a visible effort, and faltering ere he had completed his
sentence.
"No," answered Willie, anticipating the question. "I know what you would
ask. I am _not_ sure. I have no reason to indulge the hopes I have been
dwelling upon so fondly; but I do not regret having spoken with such
candour; for, should she grieve my heart by her coldness, I should still
be proud to have loved her. Until this time, since I gained my native
land, I have been shackled with duties which, sacred as they were, have
chafed a spirit longing for freedom to follow its own impulses. In this
visit to you, sir, I have fulfilled the last obligation imposed upon me
by my excellent friend, and to-morrow I shall be at liberty to go where
my duty alone prevented me from at once hastening."
He offered his hand to Mr. Amory, who grasped it with a cordiality very
different from the feeble greeting he had given him on his entrance,
"Good-bye," said he, "You carry with you my best wishes for a success
which you seem to have so much at heart; but some day or other I feel
sure you will be reminded of all I have said to you this evening."
"Strange man!" thought Willie, as he walked towards his hotel. "How
warmly he shook my hand at parting! and how affectionately he bade me
farewell, notwithstanding the cold reception he gave me, and the
pertinacity with which I rejected his opinions and repelled his advice!"