"_That in the opinion of this House Science is better than Sport._"
D. LLOYD GEORGE, Proposer (School House), said that Science had won the
War, and quoted Wireless Telegraphy and Daylight Saving to prove this.
The most successful Generals had had a scientific training. His uncle
had met a General who knew algebra and used it at the Battle of the
Marne. Only two first-class cricketers had ever been in the Cabinet.
Three scientists had. The earth went round the sun. The moon went round
the earth. Rivers flowed into the ocean.
An improving speaker, who is inclined to be carried away by his
enthusiasm. Too many metaphors.
H. ASQUITH, Opposer (Collegers), said that the speech of the hon.
Proposer was a tissue of fabrications, as ineffective as they were
insincere. Never in the whole course of his career had he encountered a
subterfuge so transparent, a calumny so shameless as the attempt of the
Hon. Prop., he might say the calculated and cynical attempt of the Hon.
Prop., to seduce from their faith the tenacious acolytes of Sport by
the now threadbare recital of the dubious and, on his own showing, the
anæmic enticements of Science. The War had proved that Science was no
good.
This speaker is steadily improving, but he has a tendency to a
"fatal fluency," and he must beware of high-sounding phrases.
Also too many passages in his speech sounded like quotations.
A. BONAR LAW, Seconder (Commoners), said that the War had proved that
Sport was no good. Gas had been invented by Science. He pointed out the
importance of astronomy in navigation.
A rapidly improving speaker. But he must not mumble.
E. G. PRETTYMAN{most likely misprint for 'PRETYMAN' - see ESSENCE OF
PARLIAMENT below}(Hodgeites) said that farming was both a science and a
sport. The canal system of Great Britain had been neglected.
Some neat little epigrams.
LESLIE SCOTT (Collegers) said that his father was a lawyer. Science had
been used in the Russo-Japanese War.
This speaker was not at his best. Perhaps it was the
gooseberries.
LESLIE WILSON (Hittites) said that his Christian name was the same as
the previous speaker's--(Laughter)--but his views were very different.
(Loud laughter.) He would like to ask the House which had done most in
the War--Tanks or Banks.
The speech of the evening. Witty and well-argued. But he must
not fidget with his waistcoat-buttons.
W. S. CHURCHILL (Hivites) said that this was a revolutionary motion.
Sport and Science must stand together. True sport was scientific and
true scientists were sportsmen. (Applause.) Together they would stand
as an imperishable bulwark against the relentless tide of Socialism.
Divided they would fall.
A steadily improving speaker, but he must not recite.
H. A. L. FISHER (Collegers) was in favour of Proportional Education.
He must not lecture.
E. GEDDES (Perizzites) said he did not mind what game he played. Rugger,
Soccer, Hockey, Cricket, Lacrosse, Rounders--he was equally at home with
all of them.
An improving speaker. He must not speak at the roof; there is no
one there.
F. BANBURY (Sittites) must not go on and on.
A. MOND (Moabites) must not fidget with his feet.
H. D. KING (Hivites) said that sailing was scientific.
He has not been heard before.
R. KENWORTHY (Day-boy) must not be heard again.
R. BRACE (Coalites) must not wheedle.
ADAMSON (Coalites) must not shout.
A. ADDISON (Collegers) was inaudible where we were.
E. CARSON (Jebusites) was inaudible everywhere. But we gather we did not
miss much. He must speak up.
W. BENN (Amalekites) was invisible.
A. BALFOUR (Stalactites) was insensible. But why not sleep in the
dormitory?
R. CECIL _mi._ (Parasites) must not preach.
J. DEVLIN (Meteorites) said that Ireland was a nation. But he must not
get excited.
R. CECIL _ma._ (Collegers) must not eat while he is speaking. Otherwise
a gentlemanly speech.
The President summed up and the Motion was carried by 12 votes to 11.