In sleep the errant phantasy,
No more by sense imprisoned,
Creates what possibly might be
But actually isn't:
And this my tale is past belief,
Of truth and reason emptied,
'Tis fiction manifest--in brief
I was asleep, and dreamt it.
I met a man by Isis' stream,
Whose phrase discreet and prudent,
Whose penchant for a learned theme
Proclaimed the Serious Student:
I never knew a scholar who
Could more at ease converse on
The latest _Classical Review_
Than that superior person.
He spoke of books--all manly sports
He deemed but meet for scoffing:
He did not know the Racquet Courts--
He'd never heard of golfing--
Professors ne'er were half so wise,
Nor Readers more sedate!
He was--I learnt with some surprise--
An undergraduate.
Another man I met, whose head
Was crammed with pastime's annals,
And who, to judge from what he said,
Must simply live in flannels:
A shallow mind his talk proclaimed,
And showed of culture no trace:
One "book" and one alone he named--
His own--'twas on the Boat-race.
"Of course," you cry, "some brainless lad,
Some scion of ancient Tories,
Bob Acres, sent to Oxford _ad
Emolliendos mores_,
Meant but to drain the festive glass
And win the athlete's pewter!"
There you are wrong: this person was
That undergraduate's Tutor.
* * * *
Twas but a dream, I said above,
In concrete truth deficient,
Belonging to the region of
The wholly Unconditioned:
Yet, when I see how strange the ways
Of undergrad. and Don are,
Methinks it was, in classic phrase,
Not _upar_ less than _onar_. [1]
[1. Transcriber's note: the words "upar" and "onar" were transliterated
from the Greek as follows: "upar"--upsilon (possibly with the
rough-breathing diacritical), pi, alpha, and rho; "onar"--omicron
(possibly with the rough-breathing diacritical), nu, alpha, and rho.]