Once there lived a little Dutchess,
Just beside the Zuyder Zee;
Short and stout and roly-poly,
As a Dutchess ought to be.
She had pigs and she had poultry,
She had lands and she had gold;
And she loved the Burgomaster,--
Loved him more than can be told.
"Surly, burly Burgomaster,
Will you have me for your love?
You shall be my pouter-pigeon,
I will be your turtle-dove.
"You shall have my China porkers,
You shall have each Dorking hen;
Take them with your loving Dutchess,
Oh, you Dutchiest of men!"
Loudly laughed the Burgomaster,
"Naught I care for Dorking fowls;
Naught for pig, unless 'tis roasted,
And on that my doctor scowls.
"Frumpy, stumpy little Dutchess,
I do not incline to wed.
Keep your pigs and keep your poultry!
I will take your gold instead.
"I will take your shining florins,
I will take your fields' rich hoard;
You may go and tend your piggies
Till your spirits be restored."
Loudly wept the little Dutchess,
Tending sad each China pig;
Loudly laughed the Burgomaster
'Neath his merry periwig.
Till the Dutchy people, angry
Conduct such as this to see,
Took and plumped the pouter-pigeon
Right into the Zuyder Zee.
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