ter take you en gin you a larrupin',' sezee, 'en den I'm gwine ter skin
you en nail yo' hide on de stable do',' sezee; 'en den ter make sho dat
you git de right kinder larrupin', I'll des step up ter de house,'
sezee, 'en fetch de little red cowhide, en den I'll take en gin you
brinjer,' sezee.
"Den Mr. Man call to der Little Gal ter watch Brer Rabbit w'iles he
gone.
"Brer Rabbit aint sayin' nothin', but Mr. Man aint mo'n out de gate
'fo' he 'gun ter sing; en in dem days Brer Rabbit wuz a singer, mon,"
continued Uncle Remus, with unusual emphasis, "en w'en he chuned up fer
ter sing he make dem yuther creeturs hol' der bref."
"What did he sing, Uncle Remus?" asked the little boy.
"Ef I aint fergit dat song off'n my min'," said Uncle Remus, looking
over his spectacles at the fire, with a curious air of attempting to
remember something, "hit run sorter dish yer way:
"'_De jay-bird hunt de sparrer-nes',
De bee-martin sail all 'roun';
De squer'l, he holler from de top er de tree,
Mr. Mole, he stay in de groun';
He hide en he stay twel de dark drop down--
Mr. Mole, he hide in de groun'._'
"W'en de Little Gal year dat, she laugh, she did, and she up'n ax Brer
Babbit fer ter sing some mo', but Brer Rabbit, he sorter cough, he did,
en 'low dat he got a mighty bad ho'seness down inter he win'pipe
some'rs. De Little Gal, she swade,[2] en swade, en bimeby Brer Rabbit,
he up 'n 'low dat he kin dance mo' samer dan w'at he kin sing. Den de
Little Gal, she ax' im won't he dance, en Brer Rabbit, he 'spon' how in
de name er goodness kin a man dance w'iles he all tie up dis a-way, en
den de Little Gal, she say she kin ontie 'im, en Brer Rabbit, he say he
aint keerin' ef she do. Wid dat de Little Gal, she retch down en
onloose de fish-line, en Brer Rabbit, he sorter stretch hisse'f en look
'roun'."
Here Uncle Remus paused and sighed, as though he had relieved his mind
of a great burden. The little boy waited a few minutes for the old man
to resume, and finally he asked:
"Did the Rabbit dance, Uncle Remus?"
"Who? Him?" exclaimed the old man, with a queer affectation of elation.
"Bless yo' soul, honey! Brer Rabbit gedder up his foots und' 'im, en he
dance outer dat gyardin, en he dance home. He did dat! Sho'ly you don't
'speck' dat a ole-timer w'at done had 'spe'unce like Brer Rabbit gwine
ter stay dar en let dat ar Mr. Man sackyfice 'im? _Shoo!_ Brer Rabbit
dance, but he dance home. You year me!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
FOOTNOTES:
[1] Topknot, foretop.
[2] Persuaded.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
IV
HOW BROTHER FOX WAS TOO SMART
Uncle Remus chuckled a moment over the escape of Brother Rabbit, and
then turned his gaze upward toward the cobwebbed gloom that seemed to
lie just beyond the rafters. He sat thus silent and serious a little
while, but finally squared himself around in his chair and looked the
little boy full in the face. The old man's countenance expressed a
curious mixture of sorrow and bewilderment. Catching the child by the
coat-sleeve, Uncle Remus pulled him gently to attract his attention.
"Hit look like ter me," he said presently, in the tone of one
approaching an unpleasant subject, "dat no longer'n yistiddy I see one
er dem ar Favers chillun clim'in' dat ar big red-oak out yan', en den it
seem like dat a little chap 'bout yo' size, he tuck'n start up ter see
ef he can't play smarty like de Favers's yearlin's. I dunner w'at in de
name er goodness you wanter be a-copyin' atter dem ar Faverses fer. Ef
you er gwine ter copy atter yuther folks, copy atter dem w'at's some
'count. Yo' pa, he got de idee dat some folks is good ez yuther folks;
but Miss Sally, she know better. She know dat dey aint no Favers 'pon
de top side er de yeth w'at kin hol' der han' wid de Abercrombies in
p'int er breedin' en raisin'. Dat w'at Miss Sally know. I bin keepin'
track er dem Faverses sence way back yan' long 'fo' Miss Sally wuz
born'd. Ole Cajy Favers, he went ter de po'house, en ez ter dat Jim
Favers, I boun' you he know de inside er all de jails in dish yer State
er Jawjy. Dey allers did hate niggers kase dey aint had none, en dey
hates um down ter dis day.
"Year 'fo' las'," Uncle Remus continued, "I year yo Unk' Jeems
Abercrombie tell dat same Jim Favers dat ef he lay de weight er he han'
on one er his niggers, he'd slap a load er buck shot in 'im; en, bless
yo' soul, honey, yo' Unk' Jeems wuz des de man ter do it. But dey er
monst'us perlite unter me, dem Faverses is," pursued the old man,
allowing his indignation, which had risen to a white heat, to cool off,
"en dey better be," he added spitefully, "kase I knows der pedigree fum
de fus' ter de las', en w'en I gits my Affikin up, dey aint nobody,
'less it's Miss Sally 'erse'f, w'at kin keep me down.
"But dat aint needer yer ner dar," said Uncle Remus, renewing his
attack upon the little boy. "W'at you wanter go copyin' atter dem Favers
chillun fer? Youer settin' back dar, right dis minnit, bettin' longer
yo'se'f dat I aint gwine ter tell Miss Sally, en dar whar youer lettin'
yo' foot slip, kaze I'm gwine ter let it pass dis time, but de ve'y nex'
time w'at I ketches you in hollerin' distuns er dem Faverses, right den
en dar I'm gwine ter take my foot in my han' en go en tell Miss Sally,
en ef she don't natally skin you 'live, den she aint de same 'oman w'at
she useter be.
"All dish yer copyin' atter deze yer Faverses put me in min' er de time
w'en Brer Fox got ter copyin' atter Brer Rabbit. I done tole you 'bout
de time w'en Brer Rabbit git de game fum Brer Fox by makin' like he
dead?"[3]
The little boy remembered it very distinctly, and said as much.
"Well, den, ole Brer Fox, w'en he see how slick de trick wuk wid Brer
Rabbit, he say ter hisse'f dat he b'leeve he'll up'n try de same kinder
game on some yuther man, en he keep on watchin' fer he chance, twel
bimeby, one day, he year Mr. Man comin' down de big road in a one-hoss
waggin, kyar'n some chickens, en some eggs, en some butter, ter town.
Brer Fox year 'im comin', he did, en w'at do he do but go en lay down in
de road front er de waggin. Mr. Man, he druv 'long, he did, cluckin' ter
de hoss en hummin' ter hisse'f, en w'en dey git mos' up ter Brer Fox, de
hoss, he shy, he did, en Mr. Man, he tuck'n holler Wo! en de hoss, he
tuck'n wo'd. Den Mr. Man, he look down, en he see Brer Fox layin' out
dar on de groun' des like he cole en stiff, en w'en Mr. Man see dis, he
holler out:
"'Heyo! Dar de chap w'at been nabbin' up my chickens, en somebody done
gone en shot off a gun at 'im, w'ich I wish she'd er bin two guns--dat I
does!'
"Wid dat, Mr. Man he druv on en lef Brer Fox layin' dar. Den Brer Fox,
he git up en run 'roun' thoo de woods en lay down front er Mr. Man
ag'in, en Mr. Man come drivin' 'long, en he see Brer Fox, en he say,
sezee;--
"'Heyo! Yer de ve'y chap what been 'stroyin' my pigs. Somebody done gone
en kilt 'im, en I wish dey'd er kilt 'im long time ago.'
"Den Mr. Man, he druv on, en de waggin-w'eel come mighty nigh mashin'
Brer Fox nose; yit, all de same, Brer Fox lipt up en run 'roun' 'head er
Mr. Man, en lay down in de road, en w'en Mr. Man come 'long, dar he wuz
all stretch out like he big 'nuff fer ter fill a two-bushel baskit, en
he look like he dead 'nuff fer ter be skint. Mr. Man druv up, he did, en
stop. He look down pun Brer Fox, en den he look all 'roun' fer ter see
w'at de 'casion er all deze yer dead Fox is. Mr. Man look all 'roun', he
did, but he aint see nothin', en needer do he year nothin'. Den he set
dar en study, en bimeby he 'low ter hisse'f, he did, dat he had better
'zamin' w'at kinder kuse zeeze[4] done bin got inter Brer Fox fambly, en
wid dat he lit down outer de waggin, en feel er Brer Fox year; Brer Fox
year feel right wom. Den he feel Brer Fox neck; Brer Fox neck right wom.
Den he feel er Brer Fox in de short ribs; Brer Fox all soun' in de short
ribs. Den he feel er Brer Fox lim's; Brer Fox all soun' in de lim's. Den
he tu'n Brer Fox over, en, lo en beholes, Brer Fox right limber. W'en Mr.
Man see dis, he say ter hisse'f, sezee:
"'Heyo, yer! how come dis? Dish yer chicken-nabber look lak he dead, but
dey aint no bones broked, en I aint see no blood, en needer does I
feel no bruise; en mo'n dat he wom en he limber,' sezee. 'Sump'n' wrong
yer, sho'! Dish yer pig-grabber _mought_ be dead, en den ag'in he
moughtent,' sezee; 'but ter make sho' dat he is, I'll des gin 'im a
whack wid my w'ip-han'le,' sezee; en wid dat, Mr. Man draw back en fotch
Brer Fox a clip behime de years--_pow!_--en de lick come so hard en it
come so quick dat Brer Fox thunk sho' he's a goner; but 'fo' Mr. Man kin
draw back fer ter fetch 'im a n'er wipe, Brer Fox, he scramble ter his
feet, he did, en des make tracks 'way fum dar."
Uncle Remus paused and shook the cold ashes from his pipe, and then
applied the moral:
"Dat w'at Brer Fox git fer playin' Mr. Smarty en copyin' atter yuther
foks, en dat des de way de whole Smarty fambly gwine ter come out."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
FOOTNOTES:
[3] _Uncle Remus: His Songs and His Sayings_, p. 70 (New York: D.
Appleton & Co.).
[4] Disease.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
V
BROTHER RABBIT'S ASTONISHING PRANK
"I 'speck dat 'uz de reas'n w'at make ole Brer Rabbit git 'long so well,
kaze he aint copy atter none er de yuther creeturs," Uncle Remus
continued, after a while. "W'en he make his disappearance 'fo' um, hit
'uz allers in some bran new place. Dey aint know wharbouts fer ter
watch out fer 'im. He wuz de funniest creetur er de whole gang. Some
folks moughter call him lucky, en yit, w'en he git in bad luck, hit look
lak he mos' allers come out on top. Hit look mighty kuse now, but 't
wa'n't kuse in dem days, kaze hit 'uz done gun up dat, strike 'im w'en
you might en whar you would, Brer Rabbit wuz de soopless creetur gwine.
"One time, he sorter tuck a notion, ole Brer Rabbit did, dat he'd pay
Brer B'ar a call, en no sooner do de notion strike 'im dan he pick
hisse'f up en put out fer Brer B'ar house."
"Why, I thought they were mad with each other," the little boy
exclaimed.
"Brer Rabbit make he call w'en Brer B'ar en his fambly wuz off fum
home," Uncle Remus explained, with a chuckle which was in the nature of
a hearty tribute to the crafty judgment of Brother Rabbit.
"He sot down by de road, en he see um go by,--ole Brer B'ar en ole Miss
B'ar, en der two twin-chilluns, w'ich one un um wuz name Kubs en de t'er
one wuz name Klibs."
The little boy laughed, but the severe seriousness of Uncle Remus would
have served for a study, as he continued:
"Ole Brer B'ar en Miss B'ar, dey went 'long ahead, en Kubs en Klibs, dey
come shufflin' en scramblin' 'long behime. W'en Brer Rabbit see dis, he
say ter hisse'f dat he 'speck he better go see how Brer B'ar gittin' on;
en off he put. En 't wa'n't long n'er 'fo' he 'uz ransackin' de
premmuses same like he 'uz sho' 'nuff patter-roller. W'iles he wuz gwine
'roun' peepin' in yer en pokin' in dar, he got ter foolin' 'mong de
shelfs, en a bucket er honey w'at Brer B'ar got hid in de cubbud fall
down en spill on top er Brer Rabbit, en little mo'n he'd er bin drown.
Fum head ter heels dat creetur wuz kiver'd wid honey; he wa'n't des only
bedobble wid it, he wuz des kiver'd. He hatter set dar en let de natal
sweetness drip outen he eyeballs 'fo' he kin see he han' befo' 'im, en
den, atter he look' 'roun' little, he say to hisse'f, sezee:
"'Heyo, yer! W'at I gwine do now? Ef I go out in de sunshine, de
bumly-bees en de flies dey'll swom up'n take me, en if I stay yer, Brer
B'ar'll come back en ketch me, en I dunner w'at in de name er gracious I
gwine do.'
"Ennyhow, bimeby a notion strike Brer Rabbit, en he tip 'long twel he
git in de woods, en w'en he git out dar, w'at do he do but roll in de
leafs en trash en try fer ter rub de honey off'n 'im dat a-way. He roll,
he did, en de leafs dey stick; Brer Rabbit roll, en de leafs dey stick,
en he keep on rollin' en de leafs keep on stickin', twel atter w'ile
Brer Rabbit wuz de mos' owdashus-lookin' creetur w'at you ever sot eyes
on. En ef Miss Meadows en de gals could er seed 'im den en dar, dey
would n't er bin no mo' Brer Rabbit call at der house; 'deed, en dat dey
would n't.
"Brer Rabbit, he jump 'roun', he did, en try ter shake de leafs off'a
'im, but de leafs, dey aint gwine ter be shuck off. Brer Rabbit, he
shake en he shiver, but de leafs dey stick; en de capers dat creetur cut
up out dar in de woods by he own-alone se'f wuz scan'lous--dey wuz dat;
dey wuz scan'lous.
"Brer Rabbit see dis wa'nt gwine ter do, en he 'low ter hisse'f dat he
better be gittin' on todes home, en off he put. I 'speck you done year
talk er deze yer booggers w'at gits atter bad chilluns," continued Uncle
Remus, in a tone so seriously confidential as to be altogether
depressing; "well, den, des 'zactly dat a-way Brer Rabbit look, en ef
you'd er seed 'im you'd er made sho' he de gran'-daddy er all de
booggers. Brer Rabbit pace 'long, he did, en ev'y motion he make, de
leafs dey'd go _swishy-swushy_, _splushy-splishy_, en, fum de fuss he
make en de way he look, you'd er tuck 'im ter be de mos' suvvigus
varment w'at disappear fum de face er de yeth sence ole man Noah let
down de draw-bars er de ark en tu'n de creeturs loose; en I boun' ef
you'd er struck up long wid 'im, you'd er been mighty good en glad ef
you'd er got off wid dat.
"De fus' man w'at Brer Rabbit come up wid wuz ole Sis Cow, en no sooner
is she lay eyes on 'im dan she h'ist up 'er tail in de elements, en put
out like a pack er dogs wuz atter 'er. Dis make Brer Rabbit laff, kaze
he know dat w'en a ole settle' 'oman like Sis Cow run 'stracted in de
broad open day-time, dat dey mus' be sump'n' mighty kuse 'bout dem leafs
en dat honey, en he keep on a-rackin' down de road. De nex' man w'at he
meet wuz a black gal tollin' a whole passel er plantation shotes, en
w'en de gal see Brer Rabbit come prancin' 'long, she fling down 'er
basket er corn en des fa'rly fly, en de shotes, dey tuck thoo de woods,
en sech n'er racket ez dey kick up wid der runnin', en der snortin', en
der squealin' aint never bin year in dat settlement needer befo' ner
since. Hit keep on dis a-way long ez Brer Rabbit meet anybody--dey des
broke en run like de Ole Boy wuz atter um.
[Illustration: BROTHER RABBIT'S ASTONISHING PRANK]
"Co'se, dis make Brer Rabbit feel monst'us biggity, en he 'low ter
hisse'f dat he 'speck he better drap 'roun' en skummish in de
neighborhoods er Brer Fox house. En w'iles he wuz stannin' dar runnin'
dis 'roun' in he min', yer come old Brer B'ar en all er he fambly. Brer
Rabbit, he git crossways de road, he did, en he sorter sidle todes um.
Ole Brer B'ar, he stop en look, but Brer Rabbit, he keep on sidlin'
todes um. Ole Miss B'ar, she stan' it long ez she kin, en den she fling
down 'er parrysol en tuck a tree. Brer B'ar look lak he gwine ter stan'
his groun', but Brer Rabbit he jump straight up in de a'r en gin hisse'f
a shake, en, bless yo' soul, honey! ole Brer B'ar make a break, en dey
tells me he to' down a whole panel er fence gittin' 'way fum dar. En
ez ter Kubs en Klibs, dey tuck der hats in der han's, en dey went
skaddlin' thoo de bushes des same ez a drove er hosses."
"And then what?" the little boy asked.
"Brer Rabbit p'raded on down de road," continued Uncle Remus, "en bimeby
yer come Brer Fox en Brer Wolf, fixin' up a plan fer ter nab Brer
Rabbit, en dey wuz so intents on der confab dat dey got right on Brer
Rabbit 'fo' dey seed 'im; but, gentermens! w'en dey is ketch a glimpse
un 'im, dey gun 'im all de room he want. Brer Wolf, he try ter show off,
he did, kase he wanter play big 'fo' Brer Fox, en he stop en ax Brer
Rabbit who is he. Brer Rabbit, he jump up en down in de middle er de
road, en holler out:
"'I'm de Wull-er-de-Wust.[5] I'm de Wull-er-de-Wust, en youer de man I'm
atter!'
"Den Brer Rabbit jump up en down en make lak he gwine atter Brer Fox en
Brer Wolf, en de way dem creeturs lit out fum dar wuz a caution.
"Long time atter dat," continued Uncle Remus, folding his hands placidly
in his lap, with the air of one who has performed a pleasant
duty,--"long time atter dat, Brer Rabbit come up wid Brer Fox en Brer
Wolf, en he git behime a stump, Brer Rabbit did, en holler out:
"'I'm de Wull-er-de-Wust, en youer de mens I'm atter!'
"Brer Fox en Brer Wolf, dey broke, but 'fo' dey got outer sight en outer
yar'n', Brer Rabbit show hisse'f, he did, en laugh fit ter kill hisse'f.
Atterwuds, Miss Meadows she year 'bout it, en de nex' time Brer Fox
call, de gals dey up en giggle, en ax 'im ef he aint feard de
Wull-er-de-Wust mought drap in."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
FOOTNOTE:
[5] Or Wull-er-de-Wuts. Probably a fantastic corruption of
"will-o'-the-wisp," though this is not by any means certain.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
VI
BROTHER RABBIT SECURES A MANSION
The rain continued to fall the next day, but the little boy made
arrangements to go with 'Tildy when she carried Uncle Remus his supper.
This happened to be a waiter full of things left over from dinner. There
was so much that the old man was moved to remark:
"I cl'ar ter gracious, hit look lak Miss Sally done got my name in de
pot dis time, sho'. I des wish you look at dat pone er co'n-bread,
honey, en dem ar greens, en see ef dey aint got Remus writ some'rs on
um. Dat ar chick'n fixin's, dey look lak deyer good, yet 'taint
familious wid me lak dat ar bile ham. Dem ar sweet-taters, dey stan's
fa'r fer dividjun, but dem ar puzzuv,[6] I lay dey fit yo' palate mo'
samer dan dey does mine. Dish yer hunk er beef, we kin talk 'bout dat
w'en de time come, en dem ar biscuits, I des nat'ally knows Miss Sally
put um in dar fer some little chap w'ich his name I aint gwine ter call
in comp'ny."
It was easy to perceive that the sight of the supper had put Uncle Remus
in rare good-humor. He moved around briskly, taking the plates from the
waiter and distributing them with exaggerated carefulness around upon
his little pine table. Meanwhile he kept up a running fire of
conversation.
"Folks w'at kin set down en have der vittles brung en put down right
spang und' der nose--dem kinder folks aint got no needs er no umbrell.
Night 'fo' las', w'iles I wuz settin' dar in de do', I year dem
Willis-whistlers, en den I des knowed we 'uz gwine ter git a season."[7]
"The Willis-whistlers, Uncle Remus," exclaimed the little boy. "What are
they?"
"Youer too hard fer me now, honey. Dat w'at I knows I don't min'
tellin', but w'en you axes me 'bout dat w'at I dunno, den youer too hard
fer me, sho'. Deze yer Willis-whistlers, dey bangs my time, en I bin
knockin' 'roun' in dish yer low-groun' now gwine on eighty year. Some
folks wanter make out deyer frogs, yit I wish dey p'int out unter me how
frogs kin holler so dat de nigher you come t'um, de furder you is off; I
be mighty glad ef some un 'ud come 'long en tell me dat. Many en many's
de time is I gone atter deze yer Willis-whistlers, en, no diffunce whar
I goes, deyer allers off yander. You kin put de shovel in de fier en
make de squinch-owl hush he fuss, en you kin go out en put yo' han' on
de trees en make deze yere locus'-bugs quit der racket, but dem ar
Willis-whistlers deyer allers 'way off yander."[8]
Suddenly Uncle Remus paused over one of the dishes, and exclaimed:
"Gracious en de goodness! W'at kinder doin's is dis Miss Sally done gone
sont us?"
"That," said the little boy, after making an investigation, "is what
mamma calls a floating island."
"Well, den," Uncle Remus remarked, in a relieved tone, "dat 's diffunt. I
wuz mos' fear'd it 'uz some er dat ar sillerbug, w'ich a whole jugful
aint ska'cely 'nuff fer ter make you seem like you dremp 'bout smellin'
dram. Ef I'm gwine ter be fed on foam," continued the old man, by way of
explaining his position on the subject of syllabub, "let it be foam, en
ef I'm gwine ter git dram, lemme git in reach un it w'ile she got some
strenk lef'. Dat 's me up an down. W'en it come ter yo' floatin' ilun,
des gimme a hunk er ginger-cake en a mug er 'simmon-beer, en dey won't
fine no nigger w'ats got no slicker feelin's dan w'at I is.
"Miss Sally mighty kuse w'ite 'oman," Uncle Remus went on. "She sendin'
all deze doin's en fixin's down yer, en I 'speck deyer monst'us nice,
but no longer'n las' Chuseday she had all de niggers on de place, big en
little, gwine squallin' 'roun' fer Remus. Hit 'uz Remus yer en Remus
dar, en, lo en beholes, w'en I come ter fine out, Miss Sally want Remus
fer ter whirl in en cook 'er one er deze yer ole-time ash-cakes. She
bleedzd ter have it den en dar; en w'en I git it done, Miss Sally, she
got a glass er buttermilk, en tuck'n sot right flat down on de flo', des
like she useter w'en she wuz little gal." The old man paused,
straightened up, looked at the child over his spectacles, and continued,
with emphasis: "En I be bless ef she aint eat a hunk er dat ash-cake
mighty nigh ez big ez yo' head, en den she tuck'n make out 't wa'n't
cook right.
"Now, den, honey, all deze done fix. You set over dar, and I'll set over
yer, en 'twix' en 'tween us we'll sample dish yer truck en see w'at is
it Miss Sally done gone en sont us; en w'iles we er makin' 'way wid it,
I'll sorter rustle 'roun' wid my 'membunce, en see ef I kin call ter
min' de tale 'bout how ole Brer Rabbit got 'im a two-story house widout
layin' out much cash."
Uncle Remus stopped talking a little while and pretended to be trying to
remember something,--an effort that was accompanied by a curious humming
sound in his throat. Finally, he brightened up and began:
"Hit tu'n out one time dat a whole lot er de creeturs tuck a notion dat
dey'd go in coboots wid buil'n' un um a house. Ole Brer B'ar, he was
'mongs' um, en Brer Fox, en Brer Wolf, en Brer 'Coon, en Brer 'Possum. I
won't make sho', but it seem like ter me dat plum down ter ole Brer Mink
'uz 'mongs' um. Leas'ways, dey wuz a whole passel un um, en dey whirl
in, dey did, en dey buil' de house in less'n no time. Brer Rabbit, he
make lak it make he head swim fer ter climb up on de scaffle, en
likewise he say it make 'im ketch de palsy fer ter wuk in de sun, but he
got 'im a squar', en he stuck a pencil behime he year, en he went
'roun' medjun[9] en markin'--medjun en markin'--en he wuz dat busy dat
de yuther creeturs say ter deyse'f he doin' monst'us sight er wuk, en
folks gwine 'long de big road say Brer Rabbit doin' mo' hard wuk dan de
whole kit en bilin' un um. Yit all de time Brer Rabbit aint doin'
nothin', en he des well bin layin' off in de shade scratchin' de fleas
off'n 'im. De yuther creeturs, dey buil' de house, en, gentermens! she
'uz a fine un, too, mon. She'd 'a' bin a fine un deze days, let 'lone
dem days. She had er upsta'rs en downsta'rs, en chimbleys all 'roun', en
she had rooms fer all de creeturs w'at went inter cahoots en hope make
it.
"Brer Rabbit, he pick out one er de upsta'rs rooms, en he tuck'n' got
'im a gun, en one er deze yer brass cannons, en he tuck'n' put um in dar
w'en de yuther creeturs aint lookin', en den he tuck'n' got 'im a tub
er nasty slop-water, w'ich likewise he put in dar w'en dey aint
lookin'. So den, w'en dey git de house all fix, en w'iles dey wuz all
a-settin' in de parlor atter supper, Brer Rabbit, he sorter gap en
stretch hisse'f, en make his 'skuses en say he b'leeve he'll go ter he
room. W'en he git dar, en w'iles all de yuther creeturs wuz a-laughin'
en a-chattin' des ez sociable ez you please, Brer Rabbit, he stick he
head out er de do' er he room en sing out:
"'W'en a big man like me wanter set down, wharbouts he gwine ter set?'
sezee.
"Den de yuther creeturs dey laugh, en holler back:
"'Ef big man like you can't set in a cheer, he better set down on de
flo'.'
"'Watch out down dar, den,' sez ole Brer Rabbit, sezee. 'Kaze I'm a
gwine ter set down,' sezee.
"Wid dat, _bang!_ went Brer Rabbit gun. Co'se, dis sorter 'stonish de
creeturs, en dey look 'roun' at one er n'er much ez ter say, W'at in de
name er gracious is dat? Dey lissen en lissen, but dey don't year no mo'
fuss, en 't wa'n't long 'fo' dey got ter chattin' en jabberin' some
mo'. Bimeby, Brer Rabbit stick he head outer he room do', en sing out:
"'W'en a big man like me wanter sneeze, wharbouts he gwine ter sneeze
at?'
"Den de yuther creeturs, dey tuck'n holler back:
"'Ef big man like you aint a-gone gump, he kin sneeze anywhar he
please.'
"'Watch out down dar, den,' sez Brer Rabbit, sezee. 'Kaze I'm gwine ter
tu'n loose en sneeze right yer,' sezee.