As we drove up the brae to the farm Margaret laughed.
"Do you know what I am laughing at?" she said. "I was thinking about you
coming back. It's a sort of habit of yours coming back, isn't it? You
don't care for me one bit; you are in love with Janet and Annie."
"Who proposed coming back, madam?"
"I did," she cried in great glee: "I noticed that you didn't seem keen
on buying the tickets, and I knew you didn't want to go."
When we walked into the dining-room there was consternation. Margaret's
mother went very white.
"What's wrong?" she stammered.
"Goad! They've quarrelled already!" exclaimed Peter MacMannish in a
hoarse whisper.
"Did ye miss the train?" asked Janet.
"No, Jan, we missed the supper, and we made up our minds that it was too
good to miss. We're going to do an original thing; we're going to dance
at our own wedding."
The blacksmith struck up a waltz, and my wife and I waltzed round the
room. I don't think that a wedding party was ever so jolly as ours.
The bairns escorted us to our bothy at two in the morning, and Margaret
insisted on giving them a cup of tea before they went home.
Janet looked round the wee room.
"Eh, Maggie, what an awfu' place to spend yer honeymoon in!"
"Yes," said Margaret, "that's what comes of marrying a mean man. It's
disgraceful, isn't it, Jan?"
"What do ye ca' it when ye stop bein' married?" asked Annie.
"A divorce," I said.
"And is there a feed at a divorce?" asked Jim with an interested
expression.
"No, Jim; you are fed up before the divorce proceedings."
"Aw wud divorce him, Maggie," said Annie.
"It's difficult," laughed Margaret.
"Ye cud say he wudna gie ye a proper honeymoon," put in Gladys.
Annie sat down on my knee.
"Why did ye come back?" she asked.
"I came back to find out how you performed your duties, Annie. I'll
begin with the best man. Jim Jackson, give an account of your
stewardship."
"Aw had three helpin's o' the plum-duff, twa o' the apple-pie, three o'
the--"
"I'm not taking an inventory of your interior furnishings," I said
severely; "what I want to know is whether you performed your duties. Did
you kiss the bridesmaids?"
"Eh!" gasped Janet, "he'd better try!"
"Do you mean to tell me he didn't?" I demanded.
"Aw had a broken-oot lip," said Jim apologetically, "and Aw didna want
to smit onybody."
"And the bairn next door to oor hoose has the measles," he added
hastily.
"And Aw lookit at a book aboot etikquette and it didna say onything
aboot kissin' the bridesmaids."
"The bridesmaids didna want to kiss yer dirty moo, onywye, Jim Jackson,"
said Janet.
"Aw've got a better moo than Tam Rigg, onywye," said Jim cheerfully.
Janet gazed at his mouth curiously.
"Your's is bigger, onywye."
"Now, now," I said, "don't you set a newly married couple a bad example
by quarrelling."