"I hate manners, Margaret," I said.
"But," she said wonderingly, "you are very mannerly."
"To you I believe I am, Margaret," I laughed. "But that is because you
don't look for manners. Mrs. Martinlake is eternally looking for
manners, and to her manners mean respect, deference, boot-licking. She
doesn't want the boys to doff their caps to her because she is a woman;
no, she wants them to recognise the fact that she is Mrs. Martinlake,
self-alleged friend of duchesses. She doesn't care a tupenny damn for
the boys and their lives; she is thinking of Mrs. Martinlake all the
time. She once talked to me of the respect due to motherhood ... and you
know that she sacked Liz Smith when she discovered that Liz had had an
illegitimate child.
"Women of that type get my back up," I went on. "They are stupid,
low-minded, arrogant. They are poor imitations of the Parisian ladies
who curled their lips contemptuously at the plebeian rabble that led
them to the guillotine. The Parisian ladies had a fine pride of race to
redeem their arrogance, but these women have nothing but pride of class.
Margaret, if a teacher failed to teach a boy anything except the truth
that deference is one of the Seven Deadly Virtues, I should say that
that teacher was a successful teacher."
* * *
The concert was a success to-night. The singing was good, but the speech
of the chairman, Peter MacMannish, was great.
"Ladies and Gentlemen,
"We're a' verra weel pleased to see sik a big turn-oot the nicht. Aw
need hardly say onything aboot the object o' this concert, but it's to
get a puckle bawbees to send oot a clean pair o' socks and maybe a clean
sark to oor local sojers oot in France.--(Cheers).
"Weel, ladies and gentlemen, Aw've made mony a speech on this platform
in the days when Aw fought for the Conservative Candidate, Mester
Fletcher (cheers, and a voice: 'Gie it a drink, cobbler!')"
The light of battle leapt to Peter's eyes.
"Aw ken that wheezin' Radical's voice!" he cried, "and Aw wud just like
to tell that voice that there's no room for Radicals in this war. What
was the attitude o' that man's party to Protection? When Mester
Chamberlain stood up in Glesga Toon Hall what did he say?" I gently
touched Peter on the arm and reminded him of the concert and its object.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we'll no touch on thae topics here, for ye cam
here for another object than to listen to me (several voices: 'Hear,
hear!') Afore we begin to the programme Aw wud just like to say that we
have to thank oor late dominie for gettin' up this concert. Some o' us
had no love for him as a dominie, but Aw say let bygones be bygones. We
a' ken that he's no a teacher (laughter), but he's a clever fellow for
a' that, and we'll maybe see him in Parliament yet. That hoose has
muckle need o' new blood. When Aw think o' Lloyd George and that man
Churchill; when Aw see the condeetion they've brocht the country till;
when Aw think o' the slack wye they've let the Trade Unions rob the
country; when Aw see--" I coughed here, and Peter drew up.
"Weel, Ladies and Gentlemen, this is no a poleetical meetin', and Aw've
muckle pleasure in callin' upon Miss Jean Black for a sang," he peered
at his programme, "a sang enteeled: A Moonlight Sonnita." Miss Jean
Black forthwith sat down at the piano.
During the interval Peter digged me in the ribs.
"What d'ye think o' my suggestion, dominie, eh?"
"What suggestion?"
"Aboot standin' for Parliament. It's a payin' game noo-a-days ... fower
hunner a year and yer tea when the hoose is sittin'. Goad, dominie,
think o' sittin' takkin' yer tea wi' Airthur Balfoor!" and he sighed
wistfully as a child sighs when it dreams of fairyland and wakes to
reality.
"Aye," he said after a long pause, "Aw wance shook hands wi' Joe
Chamberlain. His lawware says to him: 'This is Mester MacMannish, wan o'
yer chief supporters in the county,' and Aw just taks my hand oot o' my
breek pooch. 'Verra pleased to meet ye,' says Aw ... 'and hoo is yer
missis and the bairns?' Man, he lauched at that. Goad he lauched!"
Peter forgot the crowded hall; he stared at the ceiling unseeingly, and
he lived over again the greatest day of his life. It was fitting that a
Scot should have originated the title "Heroes and Hero-Worship."