Dans ma maison jolie j'ai_Facts in Jingles

Un cheval, un perroquet,

Un crocodile et un taureau,

Une grande puce et un chevreau,

Une vache, un âne et une brebis,

Un papillon, des chauves-souris.

Dans ma maison jolie j'ai

Une tigresse, un terrier,

Un épagneul et un agneau,

Une girafe et un beau veau,

Un phoque, un bouc et un chameau,

Un singe, un boeuf et un corbeau.

Dans ma maison jolie j'ai,

Une ânesse, un lévrier,

Une alouette et un lièvre,

Une linotte et une bonne chèvre,

Un boule-dogue et un moineau,

Mon caniche si bon si beau.

Dans ma maison jolie j'ai

Une cigogne, des araignées,

Une grande chenille, un léopard,

Une tortue et un canard,

Un aigle, une taupe, des lionceaux,

Et un grand Monsieur Crapaud.

Dans ma maison jolie j'ai

Une baleine, un fier geai,

Un éléphant et un bon chat,

Un renard, beaucoup des rats,

Une loutre, un tigre et un mulet,

Un coq, une poule et des poulets.

Dans ma maison jolie j'ai

Une perruche, un bélier,

Une jument et un hibou

Un vautour et un loulou,

Une pie, une mouche et une belette,

Des autruches et une fauvette.

Dans ma maison jolie j'ai

Un serpent, un sanglier,

Une sauterelle et Madame Oie

Et un grand chien Danois

Tout le mond vit chez nous

Bêtes et gens-excepté vous!

DANS MON JOLI JARDIN

Dans mon joli jardin j'ai

De belles roses et des oeillets

Des hyacinthes et des pensées

Du chevrefeuille, des tulipes gaies

Des passe-roses, de l'oranger

De blancs lilacs parfumés.

Dans mon joli jardin j'ai

Des muguets et des bluets

Des campanules très coquettes

La simple et modeste violette,

Des marguerites, de rouges pavots

De beaux arbres si grands et haut!

DANS MA CUISINE

AS AN AID IN MEMORIZING THE ARTICLES IN THE KITCHEN

Dans ma cuisine joilie j'ai

Une poèle, et l'évier.

Des cuilliers, et des couteaux

Un balai, un fourneau,

Une bouilloire, et une théière

Et ma bonne cuisinière.

Dans ma cuisine jolie j'ai

Des casseroles et un pass-thé,

Des porcelaines, un joli moule,

Beaucoup de plats et une grande boule,

Des soucoupes une cafetière

Et ma bonne cuisinière.

Dans ma cuisine jolie j'ai

De belles tasses, un pot à lait;

Beaucoup de sucre et de farine

Sont toujours dans ma cuisine;

Et la reine de ma pauvre mère

Qui est notre cuisinière.

Dans ma cuisine jolie j'ai

Une grande armoire, une horloge vraie

Beaucoup d'eau et bon café

Du chocolat, aussi du thé,

Du vin, du lait, et la bìere

Pour notre bonne cuisinière.

UN PETIT BARBARE POU

[_Written to remember that pou, genou, hibou, joujou, caillou, bijou

and chou take X in the plural._]

Une fois un petit barbare pou,

A donné grand mal au genou

Du très sage et vieux hibou

Qui a jeté son joujou

(Un petit, mais dur caillou)

Qui etait son cher bijou

À la tête du méchant pou

Faisant lui un brisé chou.

WISE REPLIES

"Joan of Arc, and who was she?"

Asked the teacher of little Leigh.

"Wife of Noah, of course," said she,

"Who sailed the ark upon the sea."

"John's so wise he laughed at Leigh

When she tried to answer me,

So in the future for replies

We'll always go to John the wise.

Now what is lava, Johnnie, dear,

Can it be found in places near?"

"Why, certainly," said smiling John,

"Most everyday Dad puts it on,

And covers nearly his whole face

With lava thick in every place."

I PREFER A LAZY BEE

Once I saw a little bee

Sitting very quietly

On a baby elder tree.

Coming near to the young bee

I reproached him scornfully,

Saying, "You're not busy, bee."

Instantly the wicked bee

Made himself to busy be

By most cruelly stinging me.

Since that time I never see

Any busy buzzing bee

But I wish he'd lazy be.

WHEN WOMEN VOTE

[_Written for the Evansville, Indiana, Courier._]

When women vote

On high will float

The banner of true worth.

No more Sir Graft

Or Wily Craft

Shall rule good Mother Earth.

Then peace will be

On land and sea,

The goddess we adore.

Not e'en a germ

Or ugly worm

Will dare molest us more.

* * * * *

This jingle may be sung to the air of _Auld Lang Syne_.

AN OLD GARDEN

In my old Savannah garden,

There roses and jasmine grew

And many sweet for-get-me-nots

Of lovely shades of blue.

Japonica's waxen blossoms

Of purest white and pink,

Wistarias with honey cups

From which the bees could drink.

Sweet old-time shrubs whose odors

Filled all the sun-kissed air

And many another beauty

Of "Flora" was found there;

So one would think that garden

A place of pure delight,

But, alas, not so since Tom Cat

Sang ditties there each night.

SPELLING WRONG "RONG"

To-day I got a lickin'

And teacher called me bad,

But I can't see the reason--

I guess it's just her fad.

For when in class she asked me,

"The word wrong will you spell?"

"R-O-N-G," I quickly cried,

And thought that I did well.

"That's wrong!" she cried out fiercely,

"I know it," I replied,

While beaming with a pleasant grin

So very broad and wide.

And then to think she seized me

And called me "sassy boy"

While lashing me with a peach limb

And blasting all my joy.

LET MA VOTE

(_Spoken at U. S. Arsenal Park on July the Fourth, 1912._)

Ma can sew and Ma can bake--

Every sort of thing can make

Out of thread and wool and yarns,

And, besides, 'tis she who darns

All the rents in all our clothes,

And the holes made by our toes--

But our Ma she cannot vote

Any more than Bill, our goat.

Ma it is who keeps us neat

From our head down to our feet;

Watches o'er us night and day

When we work or when we play;

Nurses us when we are ill,

Saving Pa a doctor's bill--

But our Ma has naught to say

Who will rule this U. S. A.

Ma helps Pa, too, with his work.

For the good soul ne'er will shirk

From whatever's to be done--

Our brave Ma will never run.

But will always do her best,

And she rarely takes a rest,

Like our Pa, with pipe alight,

When he comes from work at night.

Ma has taught us kids to read--

In all things our Ma we need.

The good "Queen of Home" is Ma,

Though U. S. thinks more of Pa,

Since he gives him power to rule

O'er affairs of state and school;

While concerning laws Ma may

Ne'er a word have right to say.

All you boys must truly love

Your good mother far above

Anyone upon this earth,

For 'twas she who gave you birth;

And you noble, youthful knights,

Should not wish for any rights

That your mother does not share--

Which is only right and fair.

Won't you work for more just laws,

With an equal franchise clause,

So ere one more Fourth has passed

Ma will win her rights at last,

And may help to rule this land,

Which for equal rights will stand?

Rah! Rah! Rah! Three cheers for Ma

When she'll vote next year with Pa!

A SONG OF HOME

There's but one place on this great earth

Where I can happy be,

And that is in my own dear home

Perched on my mother's knee,

For there I find all that I seek

Of comfort, love and joy,

May no dread sorrow come to me

And my dear home destroy!

THEN AND NOW

[_Published in a suffrage booklet, "A Plea to Gallant Knights."_]

THEN--

In ancient days, so I've been told,

Knights were gallant, kind and bold,

But ladies e'en though fair and sweet,

Made the knights kneel at their feet.

NOW--

The modern ladies quite compare

In beauty with these dames so fair,

But they no longer wish to see

Bold knights so humbly bending knee,

They ask only to keep beside

The modern knight in his bold stride.

THE FIVE BEST FAIRIES

The joyous CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

Is flying through the air,

He's in our homes and in our hearts,

About us everywhere.

We see him in the night time

When we have gone to bed,

Sitting on our pillow,

Or floating round our head.

We hear him in the morning

As soon as we arise,

"Don't forget the aged

And little ones," he cries.

"If you are well and happy

Still happier you'll be,

If you will open wide your heart

And say 'COME IN' to me.

I'll tell you of your neighbors

Who are both ill and sad,

But who by deeds of kindness

You may make very glad.

And for your Christmas presents

Oh, how I hope and pray

That Earth's five best good fairies

To you will come and stay."

"The first is GOOD HEALTH FAIRY,

Whose aid all mortals seek,

For he is life's elixir

And gives strength to the weak.

Without this gracious fairy

No one can ever know

A single hour of perfect peace

Away from GOBLIN WOE.

So treasure this good fairy

And keep him safe with you,

For he will be a faithful friend

And one that's ever true.

"I'll ask GOOD COMFORT FAIRY

To all your wants give heed,

So you may never suffer

From dreaded SPECTER NEED.

"A third most precious fairy

I know will stay with you

If you have HEALTH to make you smile

And MEANS so you may do

The little deeds of kindness

And little acts of love

Which bring true gladness to this earth

From radiant realms above.

"With health and comfort and true love,

No fairies, it would seem,

Would be quite necessary

To make this life a dream,

But as most every mortal

Has hopes of great success,

Reaching high for certain goals

Toward which they go in quest.

I pray SUCCESS, the fairy,

Will help to win your part

In everything you undertake,

In finance, science, art.

"Now, with good health and comfort

And love and great success,

There always travels side by side

THE FAIRY HAPPINESS.

Oh, may these five good fairies

Forever dwell with thee,

And then you'll be as happy

As any one can be."

AN EQUAL FRANCHISE VALENTINE

[_Published on valentine cards by the Norfolk, Virginia, Equal

Franchise Association._]

Oh, noble knight, you oft have said

That when a maiden you would wed,

In everything you both should share

And make a truly happy pair.

Now, as you vow your love is mine.

And that I am your Valentine,

Oh, prove these loving words of thine,

And make the right of franchise mine!

BEWARE OF STINGS

Once I heard a Christian Science lady who was very wise,

Say that love is all about us in all things of every size,

And if we each day would utter "God is love" to everything

Not a thing on earth would hurt us with its claws, or horns, or sting.

So believing what she told me, when a hornet I did meet,

Graciously I smiled upon him and with words of love did greet

This most wicked of all insects who refused good friends to be

But rewarded my advances by most cruelly stinging me.

So, my little friends, take warning and of love though you may sing

I am sure you'll never find it in an insect with a sting.

'NEATH NIAGARA FALLS

[_These lines came to me as I stood in the underground tunnel beneath

the Horse Shoe Falls and watched the mighty volumes of water pouring

down upon the rocks beneath._]

While standing 'neath Niagara Falls

A voice to me from Heaven calls

And asks me in deep, thundering tone,

Mortal, can you stand alone?

Do you believe there is no God

Who made these waters at His nod?

Are works like these but tricks of earth?

Did nature only give them birth?

Or was there an immortal hand

Brought them to life by His command?

The roaring waters seem to say--

"To God, our Maker, homage pay."

GRAMMAR IN A NUTSHELL

The ARTICLES are, oh, so wee,

These little words are A, AN, THE.

The nouns are names of anything

As BOOK or PLAYGROUND, BALL or RING.

PRONOUNS are used for NOUNS instead--

MY face, HER hand, YOUR feet, HIS head.

All adjectives just tell the kind

Of everything that we may find,

As GOOD and BAD, and SOFT and SWEET,

RUDE and NAUGHTY, WISE and NEAT.

While of manner ADVERBS tell

As SWEETLY, NEATLY, ILL or WELL.

The PREPOSITIONS help each day

IN our work and AT our play.

When relationship is shown

They must do the work alone.

Good CONJUNCTIONS join together

Man AND woman; plume OR feather.

INTERJECTIONS will exclaim--

"OH, ALAS! AH, what a shame!"

But we cannot get along

In conversation or in song

Without the VERB, the subject's fate,

Expressing action, being, state.

HOW SIMPLE SIMON BECAME WISE

Simple Simon met young Heiman reading from a book.

Said Simple Simon to young Heiman, "Let me have a look?"

Said young Heiman to Simple Simon, "I will not selfish be,

My great delight, ST. NICHOLAS, I'll gladly let you see."

Then Simple Simon and young Heiman spent an hour or two

Reading from this wondrous book, so full of all that's true,

And when they'd finished, Simon lad of Mother Goose's fame,

By virtue of his knowledge great, WISE SIMON, he became.

THE B. O. K. FAIRY

BRINGER OF JOY

In far away Persia of long, long ago

Lived GOOD FAIRY BOK, BAD TROUBLE'S great foe.

Wherever he went there was sunshine and joy

For all of the grown-ups and each girl and boy.

He knew that the secrets of happiness lay

In knowing just how one should work and should play;

And he taught big and little how they could well use

Their minds and their bodies with no time to lose.

Then "TROUBLE" at last drove GOOD BOK from the earth

But wise men revived this great giver of mirth

In THE BOOK OF KNOWLEDGE which points out the way

To lead useful lives and be happy all day,

Since this wholesome fairy is the dreaded foe

Of IDLENESS, first cause of all earthly woe;

So one never finds a bad girl or boy

In homes where BOK FAIRY radiates joy.

And in every home where BOK has a shelf[B]

He brings as his helper N. E., goodly elf,[C]

Who knows how to open all good parents' eyes

And help them make kiddies glad, wealthy and wise.

[Footnote B: _The Book of Knowledge._]

[Footnote C: _Natural Education._]

PAPA'S SAINTED LEG

"My papa has one wicked leg,

Which troubles him with aches.

He has also a second leg,

He calls "a wooden fake,"

And still another sainted leg

Which he most gladly gave

When fighting in the cruel war

His country's flag to save.

AN APPEAL TO THE FAIRIES

[_This poem was written in the hope of saving a beautiful forest near

my home in Evansville, Indiana._]

Good Fairies, save the lovely trees, which live on Coal Mine Hill!

Their home has been your home so long, your hearts with grief would fill

Should stout men armed with axes come and fell them to the earth,

These monarchs of the forest, these jewels of great worth.

The giant oaks and stately elms, the rulers of this wood

Have watched the growth of Evansville and helped it as they could.

They gave their shade and soft bright leaves to make a downy nest

To shelter the first baby boy that Evansville possessed.

Before this city had a church in which both bad and good

Could ask forgiveness of the Lord, they worshipped in this wood;

And those who love the beautiful and lovely scenes to see

They climb upon this grassy hill and stand beneath some tree,

While gazing far as eye can reach to fair Kentucky's lands,

Or looking at the river shore on which our city stands.

Above their heads the bright blue sky, green grass beneath their feet,

And all around a lovely scene such as we seldom meet;

Green pastures with cows grazing, broad river flowing by,

And many tall church spires lifted toward the sky,

No fitter place for children nor grown-up folks could be

Than on this lovely Coal Mine Hill where NATURE we can see.

'Tis here the little orphans and poor children all around

Find the greatest pleasures which in this woods abound.

So dearest, kindest FAIRIES, please rescue these grand trees,

And save them for the children, we ask you on our knees.

IN INDIA

[_To the air of "We Won't Go Home Till Morning."_]

To India we now will go

To see a monkey show.

We cannot travel there by rail,

We cannot travel there by rail.

And so we'll have to sail.

And there Mount Everest we'll see

And lowly bend the knee.

In India the sun's so hot

We may melt on the spot.

And when it rains great torrents fall

To soak the great and small.

In India we'll have a fright

If cobras try to bite.

Or maybe a cruel tiger beast

Upon our bones will feast.

Or even worse a crocodile

May come too close and smile.

If we escape his awful jaws

We may feel the leopard's claws.

But I am glad as I can be

No juggernaut we'll see.

And no harm will come our way

If fairies with us stay.

Agra, Calcutta, old Delhi,

And Bombay we will see.

But I'm so sad we won't behold

The peacock throne of gold.

Still we may see the Taj Mahal

Called beautiful by all.

Indigo, cotton, tobacco and tea

In India we will see.

Well find in Burma rubies red

And copper, tin and lead.

Mahogany and teakwood too,

And plenty of bamboo,

With ebony and sandalwood

And other trees as good.

And here we find the humped zebu

Which makes a funny moo.

And in this pearl of the far East

On mangoes we will feast.

And lots of sugar we will eat,

Our rice we'll make so sweet.

And lovely silken robes we'll wear

With turbans round our hair.

But in the Ganges we'll not wash

For that is silly bosh.

Instead we'll take an elephant ride

Upon his trunk astride.

THE BEST MONTH OF ALL

Of flowery spring

The poets sing,

Or else of bright September,

But girls and boys

Who love nice toys

Will always praise December;

For that's the time

In every clime

Us Santa doth remember.

A PLEA TO KNIGHTS AND LADIES FAIR

TO LADIES FAIR:

Would you be classed with lunatics,

Or, even worse, with fierce convicts?

Then work for equal franchise laws.

TO GALLANT KNIGHTS:

Do you wish rights, oh, my good brothers,

Denied your sisters, wives and mothers?

Then give them equal franchise laws.

SAYING HIS SPEECH

One day last week good Mrs. Jones

Sat making a new gown

When home from school her young son came

And strode first up, then down.

He waved his arms and muttered much

And frightened the pet cat

And every time he neared the fire

Right into it he spat.

"Why, Jimmie," said his frightened ma,

"Oh, what makes you act so?

And if you do not soon behave

Right straight to bed you'll go!"

"Ah, mother," said the wise young lad,

"I'm neither bad nor bold.

I'm just rehearsing a short speech

So don't begin to scold.

To-day at school the teacher gave

These lines to every one

And bade us all learn them to-night

Or else the stick would come."

"Well, Jimmie, dear," his mother said,

Recite these lines to me.

And why do you when by the fire

Spit out so furiously?"

"The reason, Ma," said Jimmie Jones,

"You very soon shall see.

When I recite these lines to you

You'll know that act must be.

'The embers glow, the fire burns

The kid turns on the spit!'

And now you see, my mother dear,

That gesture well does fit."

A PLEA TO EDITORS

Mary Jane's so lachrymosy

She won't laugh and she won't sing

Since the cruel newspaper people

Would not print her poem SPRING.

Won't you be more tender-hearted

To the rhymesters who must sing,

E'en though they fill your waste baskets

Full of poems on sweet spring?

TASMANIA

[_To the air of "Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush."_]

To Tasmania, we will go, we will go, we will go,

And there we will not see much snow, see much snow, see much snow.

To Tasmania we will sail, we will sail, we will sail

And catch a kangaroo's big tail, his big tail, his big tail.

To Tasmania we will fly, we will fly, we will fly

And see the wheat which grows this high, grows this high, grows

this high.

In Tasmania we have heard, we have heard, we have heard

Lives the funny penguin bird, penguin bird, penguin bird.

In Tasmania we will spy, we will spy, we will spy

An emu bird which cannot fly, cannot fly, cannot fly.

In Tasmania we will see, we will see, we will see

Many a eucalyptus tree, 'lyptus tree, 'lyptus tree.

In Tasmania we are told, we are told, we are told

There are heaps and heaps of gold, heaps of gold, heaps of gold.

In Tasmania we will keep, we will keep, we will keep

A big flock of lovely sheep, lovely sheep, lovely sheep.

ESPERANTO GRAMMAR

All the nouns must end in O,

Akvo (water), Banto (bow),

While adjectives all end in A,

Bona patro (good papa),

And adverbs end in letter E,

Rapide in a rapid way.

Soon I'll teach the vowels to you,

Saying, "Pa, may we go too?"

And the diphthongs au, aj, oj

We pronounce as "Thou, my boy."

Best of all the charming verbs,

They can never wreck our nerves

With exceptions cruel, unkind,

For the same you'll always find

Blessed AS, IS, OS, US, U,

Endings that are ever true.

THE ARMADILLO

If I would fight on land and sea,

And all my armor take with me,

An ARMADILLO I would be.

Then I could wear as my best clothes

To cover me from tail to nose,

Strong armor to ward off my foes.

And dig, ah, my, but I could dig!

Much swifter than a rooting pig,

With my sharp claws so strong and big.

And eat, ah, yes, but I would eat

All things bitter and all things sweet,

For feasting would be my best feat!

FIVE GOOD GIANTS

ARITHMETIC GIANT, most wise, never slumbers;

His is the science which teaches of numbers.

His cousin GEOGRAPHY treats of Ma Earth

And all of her children to whom she gave birth.

His aunt PHYSIOLOGY brings to us wealth,

Describing our bodies and how to have health.

His grandma called GRAMMAR tells how to use

Good language at all times in spreading the news.

Great LITERATURE teaches of many a work

Written by authors who never would shirk

From learning a little just day after day

By listening to what the wise giants would say

Who led them to drink from the great Knowledge Fount

And thus to FAME'S LADDER helped them to mount.

A BOOK MARK

So very happy I shall be,

If you'll permit poor humble me

To keep your place by my poor art

Within your bookfriend's gracious heart.

UNCLE SAM'S PITTSBURGH ARSENAL

[_Spoken at the Centenary Celebration, April 17th._]

These hoary walls if they could speak

What wondrous tales they'd tell!

Of many strange encounters

That long ago befell

Good Pittsburgh folks who laid these stones

One hundred years ago

When Uncle Sam looked at John Bull

As his most hated foe.

The builders in those good old days,

Who fashioned this old wall

Knew naught of graft or cheap cement:

They built things not to fall.

And so we see the magazines

And walls are just as good

As when in days of Lafayette

These sturdy bulwarks stood

And frowned on him as he passed by

As if they wished to say,

"Your day will pass but we will stand

Till centuries roll away."

They heard the dread explosion

That shook their very ground

But firm they stood as bulwarks

When stones fell all around.

Again when dreadful RIOT

Brought bloodshed in its path

These walls though dyed with crimson

Looked coldly on man's wrath.

Not even blood of soldiers

Could make them shed a tear

And that is why these sturdy walls

Have reached their hundredth year.

The moral of this little tale

Is that we should not weep and wail

But ever put away all fears

So we may live a hundred years.

DUX FEMINA VIA

My wise Professor Kurniker

Has not quite wisely said

That masculines in German

Will ever rank ahead.

But how about good Mother Earth,

The sun, air and the sea,

Without which not a single soul

Could in existence be?

Depending on the masculines

We could not even speak

For we would have no lips, lung, tongue

Or voices strong or weak.

What sights we'd be without our skin

And none of us could write

Sans pen and hand and without fists

We could not even fight.

What freaks we'd be without our cheeks,

Our shoulders, chest and nose

And how could we walk all about

Unless we had our toes?

We'd have no milk to keep us well,

No butter for our bread.

On most of the delicious fruits

We could not then be fed.

But few sweet flowers we would have

To cheer the sick and sad;

No lovely pearls of greatest price

To make the ladies glad.

We would not have a church or bank

Post-office or good school;

No linen, silk or wool to wear

When Jack Frost makes us cool.

We could not patriotic be

With no flag for our own

And without a good naval fleet

We could not stand alone.

Without a purse or library,

Without a cup for tea,

Sans the ETERNAL FEMININE

What would this poor world be?

Without the seasons and the week,

Without the night and stars,

We'd better leave this mundane sphere

And fly right up to Mars.

A BIRTHDAY WISH