AUNT HENDERSON'S MYSTERY.
"Oh, the little birds sang east, and the little birds sang west,
And I said in underbreath,--All our life is mixed with death,
And who knoweth which is best?
"Oh, the little birds sang east, and the little birds sang west,
And I smiled to think God's greatness flowed around our incompleteness,--
Round our restlessness, His rest."
MRS. BROWNING.
"So the dreams depart,
So the fading phantoms flee,
And the sharp reality
Now must act its part."
WESTWOOD.
It was a little after noon of the next day, when Mr. Rushleigh came to
Cross Corners.
Faith was lying back, quite pale, and silent--feeling very weak after
the terror, excitement, and fatigue she had gone through--in the large
easy-chair which had been brought for her into the southeast room. Miss
Henderson had been removed from her bed to the sofa here, and the two
were keeping each other quiet company. Neither could bear the strain of
nerve to dwell long or particularly on the events of the night. The
story had been told, as simply as it might be; and the rest and the
thankfulness were all they could think of now. So there were deep
thoughts and few words between them. On Faith's part, a patient waiting
for a trial yet before her.
"It's Mr. Rushleigh, come over to see Miss Faith. Shall I bring him in?"
asked Glory, at the door.
"Will you mind it, aunt?" asked Faith.
"I? No," said Miss Henderson. "Will you mind my being here? That's the
question. I'd take myself off, without asking, if I could, you know."
"Dear Aunt Faith! There is something I have to say to Mr. Rushleigh
which will be very hard to say, but no more so because you will be by to
hear it. It is better so. I shall only have to say it once. I am glad
you should be with me."
"Brave little Faithie!" said Mr. Rushleigh, coming in with hands
outstretched. "Not ill, I hope?"
"Only tired," Faith answered. "And a little weak, and foolish," as the
tears would come, in answer to his cordial words.
"I am sorry. Miss Henderson, that I could not have persuaded this little
girl to go home with me last night--this morning, rather. But she would
come to you."
"She did just right," Aunt Faith replied. "It's the proper place for her
to come to. Not but that we thank you all the same. You're very kind."
"Kinder than I have deserved," whispered Faith, as he took his seat
beside her.
Mr. Rushleigh would not let her lead him that way yet. He ignored the
little whisper, and by a gentle question or two drew from her that which
he had come, especially, to learn and speak of to-day--the story of the
fire, and her own knowledge of, and share in it, as she alone could tell
it.
Now, for the first time, as she recalled it to explain her motive for
entering the mill at all, the rough conversation she had overheard
between the two men upon the river bank, suggested to Faith, as the
mention of it was upon her lips, a possible clew to the origin of the
mischief. She paused, suddenly, and a look of dismayed hesitation came
over her face.
"I ought to tell you all, I suppose," she continued. "But pray, sir, do
not conclude anything hastily. The two things may have had nothing to do
with each other."
And then, reluctantly, she repeated the angry threat that had come to
her ears.
Pausing, timidly, to look up in her listener's face, to judge of its
expression, a smile there surprised her.
"See how truth is always best," said Mr. Rushleigh. "If you had kept
back your knowledge of this, you would have sealed up a painful doubt
for your own tormenting. That man, James Regan, came to me this morning.
There is good in the fellow, after all. He told me, just as you have,
and as Hardy did, the words he spoke in passion. He was afraid, he said,
they might be brought up against him. And so he came to 'own up,' and
account for his time; and to beg me to believe that he never had any
definite thought of harm. I told him I did believe it; and then the poor
fellow, rough as he is, turned pale, and burst into tears. Last night
gave him a lesson, I think, that will go far to take the hardness out of
him. Blasland says, 'he worked like five men and a horse,' at the fire."
Faith's face glowed as she listened, at the nobleness of these two; of
the generous, Christian gentleman--of the coarse workman, who wore his
nature, like his garb--the worse part of an everyday.
Fire and loss are not all calamity, when such as this comes of them.
Her own recital was soon finished.
Mr. Rushleigh listened, giving his whole sympathy to the danger she had
faced, his fresh and fervent acknowledgment and admiring praise to the
prompt daring she had shown, as if these things, and naught else, had
been in either mind.
At these thanks--at this praise--Faith shrank.
"Oh, Mr. Rushleigh!" she interrupted, with a low, pained, humbled
entreaty--"don't speak so! Only forgive me--if you can!"
Her hands lifted themselves with a slight, imploring gesture toward him.
He laid his own upon them, gently, soothingly.
"I will not have you trouble or reproach yourself, Faith," he answered,
meeting her meaning, frankly, now. "There are things beyond our control.
All we can do is to be simply true. There is something, I know, which
you think lies between us to be spoken of. Do not speak at all, if it be
hard for you. I will tell the boy that it was a mistake--that it cannot
be."
But the father's lip was a little unsteady, to his own feeling, as he
said the words.
"Oh, Mr. Rushleigh!" cried Faith. "If everything could only be put back
as it was, in the old days before all this!"
"But that is what we can't do. Nothing goes back precisely to what it
was before."
"No," said Aunt Faith, from her sofa. "And never did, since the days of
Humpty Dumpty. You might be glad to, but you can't do it. Things must
just be made the best of, as they are. And they're never just alike, two
minutes together. They're altering, and working, and going on, all the
time. And that's a comfort, too, when you come to think of it."
"There is always comfort, somehow, when there has been no willful wrong.
And there has been none here, I am sure."
Faith, with the half smile yet upon her face, called there by her aunt's
quaint speaking, bent her head, and burst into tears.
"I came to reassure and to thank you, Faith--not to let you distress
yourself so," said Mr. Rushleigh. "Margaret sent all kind messages; but
I would not bring her. I thought it would be too much for you, so soon.
Another day, she will come. We shall always claim old friendship, my
child, and remember our new debt; though the old days themselves cannot
quite be brought back again as they were. There may be better days,
though, even, by and by."
"Let Margaret know, before she comes, please," whispered Faith. "I don't
think I could tell her."
"You shall not have a moment of trial that I can spare you. But--Paul
will be content with nothing, as a final word, that does not come from
you."
"I will see him when he comes. I wish it. Oh, sir! I am so sorry."
"And so am I, Faith. We must all be sorry. But we are _only_ sorry. And
that is all that need be said."
The conversation, after this, could not be prolonged. Mr. Rushleigh took
his leave, kindly, as he had made his greeting.
"Oh, Aunt Faith! What a terrible thing I have done!"
"What a terrible thing you came near doing, you mean, child! Be thankful
to the Lord--He's delivered you from it! And look well to the rest of
your life, after all this. Out of fire and misery you must have been
saved for something!"
Then Aunt Faith called Glory, and told her to bring an egg, beat up in
milk--"to a good froth, mind; and sugared and nut-megged, and a
teaspoonful of brandy in it."
This she made Faith swallow, and then bade her put her feet up on the
sofa, and lean back, and shut her eyes, and not speak another word till
she'd had a nap.
All which, strangely enough, Faith--wearied, troubled, yet
relieved--obeyed.
For the next two days, what with waiting on the invalids--for Faith was
far from well--and with answering the incessant calls at the door of
curious people flocking to inquire, Glory McWhirk was kept busy and
tired. But not with a thankless duty, as in the days gone by, that she
remembered; it was heart work now, and brought heart love as its reward.
It was one of her "real good times."
Mr. Armstrong talked and read with them, and gave hand help and ministry
also, just when it could be given most effectually.
It was a beautiful lull of peace between the conflict that was past, and
the final pang that was to come. Faith accepted it with a thankfulness.
Such joy as this was all life had for her, henceforth. There was no
restlessness, no selfishness in the love that had so suddenly asserted
itself, and borne down all her doubts. She thought not of it, as love,
any more. She never dreamed of being other to Mr. Armstrong than she
was. Only, that other life had become impossible to her. Here, if she
might not elsewhere, she had gone back to the things that were. She
could be quite content and happy, so. It was enough to rest in such a
friendship. If only she had once seen Paul, and if he could but bear it!
And Roger Armstrong, of intent, was just what he had always been--the
kind and earnest friend--the ready helper--no more. He knew Faith
Gartney had a trouble to bear; he had read her perplexity--her
indecision; he had feared, unselfishly, for the mistake she was making.
Miss Henderson had told him, now, in few, plain words, how things were
ending; he strove, in all pleasant and thoughtful ways, to soothe and
beguile her from her harassment. He dreamed not how the light had come
to her that had revealed to her the insufficiency of that other love. He
laid his own love back, from his own sight.
So, calmly, and with what peace they might, these hours went on.
"I want to see that Sampson woman," said Aunt Faith, suddenly, to her
niece, on the third afternoon of their being together. "Do you think she
would come over here if I should send for her?"
Faith flashed a surprised look of inquiry to Miss Henderson's face.
"Why, aunt?" she asked.
"Never mind why, child. I can't tell you now. Of course it's something,
or I shouldn't want her. Something I should like to know, and that I
suppose she could tell me. Do you think she'd come?"
"Why, yes, auntie. I don't doubt it. I might write her a note."
"I wish you would. Mr. Armstrong says he'll drive over. And I'd like to
have you do it right off. Now, don't ask me another word about it, till
she's been here."
Faith wrote the note, and Mr. Armstrong went away.
Miss Henderson seemed to grow tired, to-day, after her dinner, and at
four o'clock she said to Glory, abruptly:
"I'll go to bed. Help me into the other room."
Faith offered to go too, and assist her. But her aunt said, no, she
should do quite well with Glory. "And if the Sampson woman comes, send
her in to me."
Faith was astonished, and a little frightened.
What could it be that Miss Henderson wanted with the nurse? Was it
professionally that she wished to see her? She knew the peculiar whim,
or principle, Miss Sampson always acted on, of never taking cases of
common illness. She could not have sent for her in the hope of keeping
her merely to wait upon her wants as an invalid, and relieve Glory? Was
her aunt aware of symptoms in herself, foretokening other or more
serious illness?
Faith could only wonder, and wait.
Glory came back, presently, into the southeast room, to say to Faith
that her aunt was comfortable, and thought she should get a nap. But
that whenever the nurse came, she was to be shown in to her.
The next half hour, that happened which drove even this thought utterly
from Faith's mind.
Paul Rushleigh came.
Faith lay, a little wearily, upon the couch her aunt had quitted; and
was thinking, at the very moment--with that sudden, breathless
anticipation that sweeps over one, now and then, of a thing awaited
apprehensively--of whether this Saturday night would not probably bring
him home--when she caught the sound of a horse's feet that stopped
before the house, and then a man's step upon the stoop.
It was his. The moment had come.
She sprang to her feet. For an instant she would have fled--anywhither.
Then she grew strangely calm and strong. She must meet him quietly. She
must tell him plainly. Tell him, if need be, all she knew herself. He
had a right to all.
Paul came in, looking grave; and greeted her with a gentle reserve.
A moment, they stood there as they had met, she with face pale, sad,
that dared not lift itself; he, not trusting himself to the utterance of
a word.
But he had come there, not to reproach, or to bewail; not even to plead.
To hear--to bear with firmness--what she had to tell him. And there was,
in truth, a new strength and nobleness in look and tone, when,
presently, he spoke.
If he had had his way--if all had gone prosperously with him--he would
have been, still--recipient of his father's bounty, and accepted of his
childish love--scarcely more than a mere, happy boy. This pain, this
struggle, this first rebuff of life, crowned him, a man.
Faith might have loved him, now, if she had so seen him, first.
Yet the hour would come when he should know that it had been better as
it was. That so he should grow to that which, otherwise, he had never
been.
"Faith! My father has told me. That it must be all over. That it was a
mistake. I have come to hear it from you."
Then he laid in her hand his father's letter.
"This came with yours," he said. "After this, I expected all the rest."
Faith took the open sheet, mechanically. With half-blinded eyes, she
glanced over the few earnest, fatherly, generous lines. When she came to
the last, she spoke, low.
"Yes. That is it. He saw it. It would have been no true marriage, Paul,
before Heaven!"
"Then why did I love you, Faith?" cried the young man, impetuously.
"I don't know," she said, meditatively, as if she really were to answer
that. "Perhaps you will come to love again, differently, yet, Paul; and
then you may know why this has been."
"I know," said Paul, sadly, "that you have been outgrowing me, Faith. I
have felt that. I know I've been nothing but a careless, merry fellow,
living an outside sort of life; and I suppose it was only in this
outside companionship you liked me. But there might be something more in
me, yet; and you might have brought it out, maybe. You _were_ bringing
it out. You, and the responsibilities my father put upon me. But it's
too late, now. It can't be helped."
"Not too late, Paul, for that noble part of you to grow. It was that I
came so near really loving at the last. But--Paul! a woman don't want to
lead her husband. She wants to be led. I have thought," she added,
timidly, "so much of that verse in the Epistle--'the head of the woman
is the man, and the head of the man is Christ, and the head of Christ is
God.'"
"You came _near_ loving me!" cried Paul, catching at this sentence,
only, out of all that should, by and by, nevertheless, come out in
letters of light upon his thought and memory. "Oh, Faith! you may, yet!
It isn't all quite over?"
Then Faith Gartney knew she must say it all. All--though the hot crimson
flushed up painfully, and the breath came quick, and she trembled from
head to foot, there, where she stood. But the truth, mighty, and holy in
its might, came up from heart to lip, and the crimson paled, and the
breath grew calm, and she stood firm with her pure resolve, even in her
maidenly shame, before him.
There are instants, when all thought of the moment itself, and the look
and the word of it, are overborne and lost.
"No, Paul. I will tell you truly. With my little, childish heart, I
loved you. With the love of a dear friend, I hold you still, and shall
hold you, always. But, Paul!--no one else knows it, and I never knew it
till I stood face to face with death--with my _soul_ I have come to love
another!"
Deep and low these last words were--given up from the very innermost,
and spoken with bowed head and streaming eyes.
Paul Rushleigh took her hand. A manly reverence in him recognized the
pure courage that unveiled her woman's heart, and showed him all.
"Faith!" he said, "you have never deceived me. You are always noble.
Forgive me that I have made you struggle to love me!"
With these words, he went.
Faith flung herself upon the sofa, and hid her face in its cushion,
hearing, through her sobs, the tread of his horse as he passed down the
road.
This chapter of her life story was closed.