_Monday, October 22nd._--The fact that a couple of German raiders
contrived to slip through the North Sea patrol the other night was
made the excuse for an attack upon the Admiralty. Sir Eric Geddes came
down specially to assure the House that if it viewed things "in the
right perspective" it would realise that such isolated incidents were
unavoidable. Members generally were convinced, I think, by the sight
of the First Lord's bulldog jaw, even more than by his words, that the
Navy would not loose its grip on the enemy's throat.
If "darkness and composure" are, as we have been told, the best
antidotes to an air-raid, where would you be more likely to find
them than in a CAVE? The HOME SECRETARY'S explanation did not, of
course, satisfy "P.B."--initials now standing for "Pull Baker"--who,
in a voice of extra raucosity, caused by his _al-fresco_ oratory
in East Islington, demanded that protection should be afforded
to--ballot-boxes. But he and Mr. JOYNSON-HICKS and Mr. DILLON--whose
sudden solicitude for the inhabitants of London was gently chaffed
by Mr. CHAMBERLAIN--were deservedly trounced by Mr. BONAR LAW, who
declared that if their craven squealings were typical he should
despair of victory.
Who says that the removal of the grille has had no effect upon
politics? Exposed to the unimpeded gaze of the ladies in the Gallery
the House decided with great promptitude that the female voter should
not be called upon to state her exact age, but need only furnish a
statutory declaration that she was over thirty.
_Tuesday, October 23rd._--So far as I know, the duties of a Junior
Lord of the Treasury have never been exactly defined. Apparently
those of Mr. PRATT include the compilation of a "London Letter," to
be sent to certain favoured newspapers. In one of them he appears to
have stated that Mr. ASQUITH'S condition of health was so precarious
that there was little likelihood of his resuming an active part in
politics. It was pleasant, therefore, to see the ex-Premier in his
place again, and able to contribute to the Irish debate a speech
showing no conspicuous failure either of intellect or verbal felicity.
[Illustration: _Mr. Duke_. "HERE, I SAY--"
_Mr. Redmond_. "SURE AN' I'M SORRY, BUT THE GINTLEMAN BEHIND PUSHED
ME."]
Both Mr. REDMOND and Mr. DUKE had drawn a very gloomy picture of
present-day Ireland--the former, of course, attributing it entirely
to the ineptitudes of the "Castle," and being careful to say little
or nothing to hurt the feelings of the Sinn Feiners, while the latter
ascribed it to the rebellious speeches and actions of Mr. DE VALERA
and the other hillside orators whom for some inscrutable reason he
leaves at large.
I hope Mr. ASQUITH was justified in assuming that the Sinn Fein
excesses were only an expression of the "rhetorical and contingent
belligerency" always present in Ireland, and that in spite of them the
Convention would make all things right.
Meanwhile the Sinn Feiners have refused to take part in it. And not a
single Nationalist Member dared to denounce them to-night. Mr. T.M.
HEALY even gave them his blessing, for whatever that may be worth.
_Wednesday, October 24_.--The strange case of Mrs. BESANT and Mr.
MONTAGU was brought before the Upper House by Lord SYDENHAM, who hoped
the Government were not going to make concessions to the noisy people
who wanted to set up a little oligarchy in India. The speeches of
Lord ISLINGTON and Lord CURZON did not entirely remove the impression
that the Government are a little afraid of Mrs. BESANT and her power
of "creating an atmosphere" by the emission of "hot air." Apparently
there is room for only one orator in India at a time, for it was
expressly stated that Mr. MONTAGU, who got back into office shortly
after the delivery of what Lord LANSDOWNE characterised as an
"intemperate" speech on Indian affairs, has given an undertaking not
to make any speech at all during his progress through the Peninsula.
_Thursday, October 25th_.--Irish Members have first cut at the
Question-time cake on Thursdays, and employ their opportunity to
advertise their national grievances. Mr. O'LEARY, for example, drew
a moving picture of a poor old man occupying a single room, and
dependent for his subsistence on the grazing of a hypothetical cow; he
had been refused a pension by a hard-hearted Board. Translated into
prosaic English by the CHIEF SECRETARY it resolved itself into the
case of a farmer who had deliberately divested himself of his property
in the hope of "wangling" five shillings a week out of the Treasury.
According to Mr. BYRNE the Lord Mayor of DUBLIN has been grossly
insulted by a high Irish official, who must be made to apologise or
resign. Again Mr. DUKE was unreceptive. He had seen the LORD MAYOR,
who disclaimed any responsibility for his self-constituted champion.
Mr. BYRNE should now be known as "the cuckoo in the mare's nest."
An attack upon the Petroleum Royalties was led by Mr. ADAMSON, the
new Chairman of the Labour Party, who was cordially congratulated by
the COLONIAL SECRETARY on his appointment. Mr. LONG might have been a
shade less enthusiastic if he had foreseen the sequel. His assurance
that there was "nothing behind the Bill" was only too true. There was
not even a majority behind it; for the hostile amendment was carried
by 44 votes to 35, and the LLOYD GEORGE Administration sustained its
first defeat. "Nasty slippery stuff, oil," muttered the Government
Whip.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE UNSEEN HAND.
_Bill_. "A FELLER IN THIS HERE PAPER SAYS AS WE AIN'T FIGHTING THE
GERMAN PEOPLE."
_Gus_. "INDEED! DOES THE BLINKIN' IDIOT SAY WHO WE'VE BEEN UP AGAINST
ALL THIS TIME?"]
* * * * *
"Wanted, at once, three Slack Carters; constant
employment."--_Lancaster Observer_.
We fear that intending applicants may be put off by the conditions.
* * * * *
"WHERE MY CARAVAN HAS RESTED--in A flat."--_Advt. in Provincial
Paper_.
And, in the recent weather, a very good place for it.
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