CHAPTER XVIII

In the meantime the said child, a splendid boy, was the delight of the

humble dwelling to which Maggie had borne him in triumph. But the mind

of the soutar was not a little exercised as to how far their right in

the boy approached the paternal: were they justified in regarding him

as their love-property, before having made exhaustive inquiry as to who

could claim, and might re-appropriate him? For nothing could liberate

the finder of such a thing from the duty of restoring it upon demand,

seeing there could be no assurance that the child had been deliberately

and finally abandoned! Maggie, indeed, regarded the baby as absolutely

hers by right of rescue; but her father asked himself whether by

appropriating him she might not be depriving his mother of the one

remaining link between her and humanity, and so abandoning her helpless

to the Enemy. Surely to take and withhold from any woman her child,

must be to do what was possible toward dividing her from the unseen and

eternal! And he saw that, for the sake of his own child also, and the

truth in her, both she and he must make every possible endeavour to

restore the child to his mother.

So the next time that Maggie brought the crowing infant to the kitchen,

her father, who sat as usual under the small window, to gather upon his

work all the light to be had, said, with one quick glance at the child—

“Eh, the bonny, glaid cratur! Wha can say ’at sic as he, ’at haena the

twa in ane to see til them, getna frae Himsel a mair partic’lar and

carefu’ regaird, gien that war poassible, than ither bairns! I would

fain believe that same!”

“Eh, father, but ye aye think bonny!” exclaimed Maggie. “Some hae been

dingin ’t in upo me ’at sic as he maist aye turn oot onything but weel,

whan they step oot intil the warl. Eh, but we maun tak care o’ ’im,

father! Whaur _would_ I be wi’oot you at my back!”

“And God at the back o’ baith, bairn!” rejoined the soutar. “It’s

thinkable that the Almichty may hae special diffeeculty wi sic as he,

but nane can jeedge o’ ony thing or body till they see the hin’er en’ o’

’t a’. But I’m thinkin it maun aye be harder for ane that hasna his ain

mither to luik til. Ony ither body, be she as guid as she may, maun be

but a makshift!—For ae thing he winna get the same naitral disciplene

’at ilka mither cat gies its kitlins!”

“Maybe! maybe!—I ken I couldna ever lay a finger upo’ the bonny cratur

mysel!” said Maggie.

“There ’tis!” returned her father. “And I dinna think,” he went on, “we

could expec muckle frae the wisdom o’ the mither o’ ’m, gien she had

him. I doobt she micht turn oot to be but a makshift hersel! There’s

mony aboot ’im ’at’ll be sair eneuch upon ’im, but nane the wiser for

that! Mony ane’ll luik upon ’im as a bairn in whause existence God has

had nae share—or jist as muckle share as gies him a grup o’ ’im to gie

’im his licks! There’s a heap o’ mystery aboot a’thing, Maggie, and that

frae the vera beginnin to the vera en’! It may be ’at yon bairnie’s i’

the waur danger jist frae haein you and me, Maggie! Eh, but I wuss his

ain mither war gien back til him! And wha can tell but she’s needin him

waur nor he’s needin her—though there maun aye be something he canna

get—’cause ye’re no his ain mither, Maggie, and I’m no even his ain

gutcher!”

The adoptive mother burst into a howl.

“Father, father, ye’ll brak the hert o’ me!” she almost yelled, and laid

the child on the top of her father’s hands in the very act of drawing

his waxed ends.

Thus changing him perforce from cobbler to nurse, she bolted from the

kitchen, and up the little stair; and throwing herself on her knees by

the bedside, sought, instinctively and unconsciously, the presence of

him who sees in secret. But for a time she had nothing to say even

to _him_, and could only moan on in the darkness beneath her closed

eyelids.

Suddenly she came to herself, remembering that she too had abandoned her

child: she must go back to him!

But as she ran, she heard loud noises of infantile jubilation, and

re-entering the kitchen, was amazed to see the soutar’s hands moving as

persistently if not quite so rapidly as before: the child hung at the

back of the soutar’s head, in the bight of the long jack-towel from

behind the door, holding on by the gray hair of his occiput. There

he tugged and crowed, while his care-taker bent over his labour,

circumspect in every movement, nor once forgetting the precious thing

on his back, who was evidently delighted with his new style of being

nursed, and only now and then made a wry face at some movement of the

human machine too abrupt for his comfort. Evidently he took it all as

intended solely for his pleasure.

Maggie burst out laughing through the tears that yet filled her eyes,

and the child, who could hear but not see her, began to cry a little,

so rousing the mother in her to a sense that he was being treated too

unceremoniously; when she bounded to liberate him, undid the towel, and

seated herself with him in her lap. The grandfather, not sorry to be

released, gave his shoulders a little writhing shake, laughed an amused

laugh, and set off boring and stitching and drawing at redoubled speed.

“Weel, Maggie?” he said, with loving interrogation, but without looking

up.

“I saw ye was richt, father, and it set me greitin sae sair that I

forgot the bairn, and you, father, as weel. Gang on, please, and say

what ye think fit: it’s a’ true!”

“There’s little left for me to say, lassie, noo ye hae begun to say’t to

yersel. But, believe me, though ye can never be the bairn’s ain mither,

_she_ can never be til ’im the same ye hae been a’ready, whatever mair

or better may follow. The pairt ye hae chosen is guid eneuch never to be

taen frae ye—i’ this warl or the neist!”

“Thank ye, father, for that! I’ll dee for him what I can, ohn forgotten

that he’s no mine but anither wuman’s. I maunna tak frae her what’s her

ain!”

The soutar, especially while at his work, was always trying “to get,”

as he said, “into his Lord’s company,”—now endeavouring, perhaps, to

understand some saying of his, or now, it might be, to discover his

reason for saying it just then and there. Often, also, he would be

pondering why he allowed this or that to take place in the world, for it

was his house, where he was always present and always at work. Humble as

diligent disciple, he never doubted, when once a thing had taken place,

that it was by his will it came to pass, but he saw that evil itself,

originating with man or his deceiver, was often made to subserve the

final will of the All-in-All. And he knew in his own self that much must

first be set right there, before the will of the Father could be done in

earth as it was in heaven. Therefore in any new development of feeling

in his child, he could recognize the pressure of a guiding hand in the

formation of her history; and was able to understand St. John where he

says, “Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear

what we shall be, but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall

be like him, for we shall see him as he is.” For first, foremost, and

deepest of all, he positively and absolutely believed in the man whose

history he found in the Gospel: that is, he believed not only that

such a man once was, and that every word he then spoke was true, but he

believed that that man was still in the world, and that every word

he then spoke, had always been, still was, and always would be true.

Therefore he also believed—which was more both to the Master and to

John MacLear, his disciple—that the chief end of his conscious life

must be to live in His presence, and keep his affections ever, afresh

and constantly, turning toward him in hope and aspiration. Hence every

day he felt afresh that he too was living in the house of God, among the

things of the father of Jesus.

The life-influence of the soutar had already for some time, and in some

measure, been felt at Tiltowie. In a certain far-off way, men seemed to

surmise what he was about, although they were, one and all, unable to

estimate the nature or value of his pursuit. What their idea of him was,

may in a measure be gathered from the answer of the village-fool to the

passer-by who said to him: “Weel, and what’s yer soutar aboot the noo?”

“Ow, as usual,” answered the _natural_, “turnin up ilka muckle stane to

luik for his maister aneth it!” For in truth he believed that the Lord

of men was very often walking to and fro in the earthly kingdom of his

Father, watching what was there going on, and doing his best to bring it

to its true condition; that he was ever and always in the deepest sense

present in the same, where he could, if he pleased, at any moment or in

any spot, appear to whom he would. Never did John MacLear lift his eyes

heavenward without a vague feeling that he might that very moment, catch

a sight of the glory of his coming Lord; if ever he fixed his eyes on

the far horizon, it was never without receiving a shadowy suggestion

that, like a sail towering over the edge of the world, the first great

flag of the Lord’s hitherward march might that moment be rising between

earth and heaven;—for certainly He would come unawares, and then who

could tell what moment he might not set his foot on the edge of the

visible, and come out of the dark in which He had hitherto clothed

himself as with a garment—to appear in the ancient glory of his

transfiguration! Thus he was ever ready to fall a watching—and thus,

also, never did he play the false prophet, with cries of “Lo here!” and

“Lo there!” And even when deepest lost in watching, the lowest whisper

of humanity seemed always loud enough to recall him to his “work

alive”—lest he should be found asleep at His coming. His was the same

live readiness that had opened the ear of Maggie to the cry of the

little one on the hill-side. As his daily work was ministration to the

weary feet of his Master’s men, so was his soul ever awake to their

sorrows and spiritual necessities.

“There’s a haill warl’ o’ bonny wark aboot me!” he would say. “I hae but

to lay my han’ to what’s neist me, and it’s sure to be something that

wants deein! I’m clean ashamt sometimes, whan I wauk up i’ the mornin,

to fin’ mysel deein naething!”

Every evening while the summer lasted, he would go out alone for a walk,

generally toward a certain wood nigh the town; for there lay, although

it was of no great extent, and its trees were small, a probability

of escaping for a few moments from the eyes of men, and the chance of

certain of another breed showing themselves.

“No that,” he once said to Maggie, “I ever cared vera muckle aboot the

angels: it’s the man, the perfec man, wha was there wi’ the Father afore

ever an angel was h’ard tell o’, that sen’s me upo my knees! Whan I see

a man that but minds me o’ _Him_, my hert rises wi’ a loup, as gien it

wad ’maist lea’ my body ahint it.—Love’s the law o’ the universe, and

it jist works amazin!”

One day a man, seeing him approach in the near distance, and knowing he

had not perceived his presence, lay down behind a great stone to watch

“the mad soutar,” in the hope of hearing him say something insane. As

John came nearer, the man saw his lips moving, and heard sounds issue

from them; but as he passed, nothing was audible but the same words

repeated several times, and with the same expression of surprise and joy

as if at something for the first time discovered:—“Eh, Lord! Eh, Lord,

I see! I un’erstan’!—Lord, I’m yer ain—to the vera deith!—a’ yer

ain!—Thy father bless thee, Lord!—I ken ye care for noucht else!—Eh,

but my hert’s glaid!—that glaid, I ’maist canna speyk!”

That man ever after spoke of the soutar with a respect that resembled

awe.

After that talk with her father about the child and his mother, a

certain silent change appeared in Maggie. People saw in her face an

expression which they took to resemble that of one whose child was ill,

and was expected to die. But what Maggie felt was only resignation to

the will of her Lord: the child was not hers but the Lord’s, lent to her

for a season! She must walk softly, doing everything for him as under

the eye of the Master, who might at any moment call to her, “Bring the

child: I want him now!” And she soon became as cheerful as before, but

never after quite lost the still, solemn look as of one in the eternal

spaces, who saw beyond this world’s horizon. She talked less with her

father than hitherto, but at the same time seemed to live closer to him.

Occasionally she would ask him to help her to understand something he

had said; but even then he would not always try to make it plain; he

might answer—

“I see, lassie, ye’re no just ready for ’t! It’s true, though; and the

day maun come whan ye’ll see the thing itsel, and ken what it is; and

that’s the only w’y to win at the trowth o’ ’t! In fac’, to see a thing,

and ken the thing, and be sure it’s true, is a’ ane and the same thing!”

Such a word from her father was always enough to still and content the

girl.

Her delight in the child, instead of growing less, went on increasing

because of the _awe_, rather than _dread_ of having at last to give him

up.

Salted with Fire · 第 18 / 26 章