'What angels women are!'
'Oh, no,' I said, 'it's just the contrast.'
When we got home another wire was in the hall addressed to me.
'Let me open it,' said Ross, picking it up.
'No,' and I snatched it from him and ran up to my room. The dreadful
ice was all around my heart again. The horror of a great darkness came
upon my mind. I couldn't pray. I tried to quieten all my jangled
nerves by saying--Daddy says 'They're underneath, oh, always underneath,
those everlasting arms,' and then I read the telegram and flung myself
upon the floor beside my bed in an agony of tears.
Ross came in and gathered me all up into the shelter of his love.
'Oh, Meg, not Michael?'
'Yes.'
'Oh, Meg, not killed,' he said again and held me closer.
'Oh, no, not killed,' I sobbed. 'He's got the D.S.O. and is coming home
in three days' time on leave. Oh, it is such a relief.'
'You ridiculous child,' said Ross, giving me a little shake, 'oh, you
poor, funny little scrap, what an awful fright you gave me. Poor
Michael, what a wife he's got who sobs and cries because he's coming
home on leave, I'm really sorry for that chap.' And then he picked me
up, a crumpled heap, from off the floor, and dumped me on my bed.
'You'll stay there till you've had your dinner, anyhow. Now, don't
argue,' he exclaimed, flinging himself into the nearest chair, 'I must
have a cigarette. How poor old Solomon got on with all his lot beats
me, managing two women in one short afternoon's enough. It is, as
Charles would say, "so dashed exhausting."'
*THREE WEEKS LATER*
*CHAPTER XXIV*
But of course I'm not. Why on earth should I be crying after three such
perfect weeks. It's only just the smell of Harris tweed again. I
caught the whiff of it as I came through the door into the hall alone,
after the last sound of Michael's car had died away. I wish I had been
allowed to go to London with him, it would have been another hour or so
with my beloved. No, I don't really wish it if he didn't. I must be
ill, I think, to be so meek.
After he went there was a ridiculous telegram from Ross saying that he
was returning in time for dinner if it was convenient. Wasn't it absurd
of him to take himself off like that the morning Michael came, and only
come to dine and sleep twice in three whole weeks. He has had another
Board, and the verdict is 'Three to four weeks and massage,' and Sam's
M.O. said, 'Three to five weeks and massage.' So there you are! The
usual arrangement!
But, oh, to think in a very few more weeks I shall have to say
'Good-bye' again to both of them. I can't accept God's will about it.
My mind's divorced from His, my wishes in opposition. The constant
struggle to feel differently fags me out, but perhaps I shall 'feel
better in the morning,' as Mrs Williams used to say.