nose of yours very useful to spank people with.'
'Thank you,' said the Elephant's Child, 'I'll remember that; and now I
think I'll go home to all my dear families and try.'
So the Elephant's Child went home across Africa frisking and whisking
his trunk. When he wanted fruit to eat he pulled fruit down from a tree,
instead of waiting for it to fall as he used to do. When he wanted grass
he plucked grass up from the ground, instead of going on his knees as he
used to do. When the flies bit him he broke off the branch of a tree and
used it as a fly-whisk; and he made himself a new, cool, slushy-squshy
mud-cap whenever the sun was hot. When he felt lonely walking through
Africa he sang to himself down his trunk, and the noise was louder than
several brass bands. He went especially out of his way to find a broad
Hippopotamus (she was no relation of his), and he spanked her very hard,
to make sure that the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake had spoken the truth
about his new trunk. The rest of the time he picked up the melon rinds
that he had dropped on his way to the Limpopo--for he was a Tidy
Pachyderm.
One dark evening he came back to all his dear families, and he coiled up
his trunk and said, 'How do you do?' They were very glad to see him, and
immediately said, 'Come here and be spanked for your 'satiable
curtiosity.'
'Pooh,' said the Elephant's Child. 'I don't think you peoples know
anything about spanking; but _I_ do, and I'll show you.'
Then he uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his dear brothers head
over heels.
'O Bananas!' said they, 'where did you learn that trick, and what have
you done to your nose?'
'I got a new one from the Crocodile on the banks of the great
grey-green, greasy Limpopo River,' said the Elephant's Child. 'I asked
him what he had for dinner, and he gave me this to keep.'
[Illustration: THIS is just a picture of the Elephant's Child going
to pull bananas off a banana-tree after he had got his fine new long
trunk. I don't think it is a very nice picture; but I couldn't make it
any better, because elephants and bananas are hard to draw. The streaky
things behind the Elephant's Child mean squoggy marshy country somewhere
in Africa. The Elephant's Child made most of his mud-cakes out of the
mud that he found there. I think it would look better if you painted the
banana-tree green and the Elephant's Child red.]
'It looks very ugly,' said his hairy uncle, the Baboon.
'It does,' said the Elephant's Child. 'But it's very useful,' and he
picked up his hairy uncle, the Baboon, by one hairy leg, and hove him
into a hornet's nest.
Then that bad Elephant's Child spanked all his dear families for a long
time, till they were very warm and greatly astonished. He pulled out his
tall Ostrich aunt's tail-feathers; and he caught his tall uncle, the
Giraffe, by the hind-leg, and dragged him through a thorn-bush; and he
shouted at his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, and blew bubbles into her
ear when she was sleeping in the water after meals; but he never let any
one touch Kolokolo Bird.
At last things grew so exciting that his dear families went off one by
one in a hurry to the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo
River, all set about with fever-trees, to borrow new noses from the
Crocodile. When they came back nobody spanked anybody any more; and ever
since that day, O Best Beloved, all the Elephants you will ever see,
besides all those that you won't, have trunks precisely like the trunk
of the 'satiable Elephant's Child.
I KEEP six honest serving-men;
(They taught me all I knew)
Their names are What and Where and When
And How and Where and Who.
I send them over land and sea,
I send them east and west;
But after they have worked for me,
_I_ give them all a rest.
_I_ let them rest from nine till five.
For I am busy then,
As well as breakfast, lunch, and tea,
For they are hungry men:
But different folk have different views;
I know a person small--
She keeps ten million serving-men,
Who get no rest at all!
She sends 'em abroad on her own affairs,
From the second she opens her eyes--
One million Hows, two million Wheres,
And seven million Whys!
[Illustration: The Sing-song of Old Man Kangaroo]
THE SING-SONG OF OLD MAN KANGAROO
NOT always was the Kangaroo as now we do behold him, but a Different
Animal with four short legs. He was grey and he was woolly, and his
pride was inordinate: he danced on an outcrop in the middle of
Australia, and he went to the Little God Nqa.
He went to Nqa at six before breakfast, saying, 'Make me different from
all other animals by five this afternoon.'
Up jumped Nqa from his seat on the sand-flat and shouted, 'Go away!'
He was grey and he was woolly, and his pride was inordinate: he danced
on a rock-ledge in the middle of Australia, and he went to the Middle
God Nquing.
He went to Nquing at eight after breakfast, saying, 'Make me different
from all other animals; make me, also, wonderfully popular by five this
afternoon.'
Up jumped Nquing from his burrow in the spinifex and shouted, 'Go away!'
He was grey and he was woolly, and his pride was inordinate: he danced
on a sandbank in the middle of Australia, and he went to the Big God
Nqong.
He went to Nqong at ten before dinner-time, saying, 'Make me different
from all other animals; make me popular and wonderfully run after by
five this afternoon.'
Up jumped Nqong from his bath in the salt-pan and shouted, 'Yes, I
will!'
Nqong called Dingo--Yellow-Dog Dingo--always hungry, dusty in the
sunshine, and showed him Kangaroo. Nqong said, 'Dingo! Wake up, Dingo!
Do you see that gentleman dancing on an ashpit? He wants to be popular
and very truly run after. Dingo, make him so!'
Up jumped Dingo--Yellow-Dog Dingo--and said, 'What, _that_ cat-rabbit?'
Off ran Dingo--Yellow-Dog Dingo--always hungry, grinning like a
coal-scuttle,--ran after Kangaroo.
Off went the proud Kangaroo on his four little legs like a bunny.
This, O Beloved of mine, ends the first part of the tale!
He ran through the desert; he ran through the mountains; he ran through
the salt-pans; he ran through the reed-beds; he ran through the blue
gums; he ran through the spinifex; he ran till his front legs ached.
He had to!
Still ran Dingo--Yellow-Dog Dingo--always hungry, grinning like a
rat-trap, never getting nearer, never getting farther,--ran after
Kangaroo.
He had to!
Still ran Kangaroo--Old Man Kangaroo. He ran through the ti-trees; he
ran through the mulga; he ran through the long grass; he ran through the
short grass; he ran through the Tropics of Capricorn and Cancer; he ran
till his hind legs ached.
He had to!
[Illustration: THIS is a picture of Old Man Kangaroo when he was the
Different Animal with four short legs. I have drawn him grey and woolly,
and you can see that he is very proud because he has a wreath of flowers
in his hair. He is dancing on an outcrop (that means a ledge of rock) in
the middle of Australia at six o'clock before breakfast. You can see
that it is six o'clock, because the sun is just getting up. The thing
with the ears and the open mouth is Little God Nqa. Nqa is very much
surprised, because he has never seen a Kangaroo dance like that before.
Little God Nqa is just saying, 'Go away,' but the Kangaroo is so busy
dancing that he has not heard him yet.
The Kangaroo hasn't any real name except Boomer. He lost it because
he was so proud.]
Still ran Dingo--Yellow-Dog Dingo--hungrier and hungrier, grinning like
a horse-collar, never getting nearer, never getting farther; and they
came to the Wollgong River.
Now, there wasn't any bridge, and there wasn't any ferry-boat, and
Kangaroo didn't know how to get over; so he stood on his legs and
hopped.
He had to!
He hopped through the Flinders; he hopped through the Cinders; he hopped
through the deserts in the middle of Australia. He hopped like a
Kangaroo.
First he hopped one yard; then he hopped three yards; then he hopped
five yards; his legs growing stronger; his legs growing longer. He
hadn't any time for rest or refreshment, and he wanted them very much.
Still ran Dingo--Yellow-Dog Dingo--very much bewildered, very much
hungry, and wondering what in the world or out of it made Old Man
Kangaroo hop.
For he hopped like a cricket; like a pea in a saucepan; or a new rubber
ball on a nursery floor.
He had to!
[Illustration: THIS is the picture of Old Man Kangaroo at five in the
afternoon, when he had got his beautiful hind legs just as Big God Nqong
had promised. You can see that it is five o'clock, because Big God
Nqong's pet tame clock says so. That is Nqong, in his bath, sticking his
feet out. Old Man Kangaroo is being rude to Yellow-Dog Dingo. Yellow-Dog
Dingo has been trying to catch Kangaroo all across Australia. You can
see the marks of Kangaroo's big new feet running ever so far back over
the bare hills. Yellow-Dog Dingo is drawn black, because I am not
allowed to paint these pictures with real colours out of the paint-box;
and besides, Yellow-Dog Dingo got dreadfully black and dusty after
running through the Flinders and the Cinders.
I don't know the names of the flowers growing round Nqong's bath. The
two little squatty things out in the desert are the other two gods that
Old Man Kangaroo spoke to early in the morning. That thing with the
letters on it is Old Man Kangaroo's pouch. He had to have a pouch just
as he had to have legs.]
He tucked up his front legs; he hopped on his hind legs; he stuck out
his tail for a balance-weight behind him; and he hopped through the
Darling Downs.
He had to!
Still ran Dingo--Tired-Dog Dingo--hungrier and hungrier, very much
bewildered, and wondering when in the world or out of it would Old Man
Kangaroo stop.
Then came Nqong from his bath in the salt-pans, and said, 'It's five
o'clock.'
Down sat Dingo--Poor Dog Dingo--always hungry, dusky in the sunshine;
hung out his tongue and howled.
Down sat Kangaroo--Old Man Kangaroo--stuck out his tail like a
milking-stool behind him, and said, 'Thank goodness _that's_ finished!'
Then said Nqong, who is always a gentleman, 'Why aren't you grateful to
Yellow-Dog Dingo? Why don't you thank him for all he has done for you?'
Then said Kangaroo--Tired Old Kangaroo--'He's chased me out of the
homes of my childhood; he's chased me out of my regular meal-times; he's
altered my shape so I'll never get it back; and he's played Old Scratch
with my legs.'
Then said Nqong, 'Perhaps I'm mistaken, but didn't you ask me to make
you different from all other animals, as well as to make you very truly
sought after? And now it is five o'clock.'
'Yes,' said Kangaroo. 'I wish that I hadn't. I thought you would do it
by charms and incantations, but this is a practical joke.'
'Joke!' said Nqong from his bath in the blue gums. 'Say that again and
I'll whistle up Dingo and run your hind legs off.'
'No,' said the Kangaroo. 'I must apologise. Legs are legs, and you
needn't alter 'em so far as I am concerned. I only meant to explain to
Your Lordliness that I've had nothing to eat since morning, and I'm very
empty indeed.'
'Yes,' said Dingo--Yellow-Dog Dingo,--'I am just in the same situation.
I've made him different from all other animals; but what may I have for
my tea?'
Then said Nqong from his bath in the salt-pan, 'Come and ask me about
it to-morrow, because I'm going to wash.'
So they were left in the middle of Australia, Old Man Kangaroo and
Yellow-Dog Dingo, and each said, 'That's _your_ fault.'
THIS is the mouth-filling song
Of the race that was run by a Boomer,
Run in a single burst--only event of its kind--
Started by big God Nqong from Warrigaborrigarooma,
Old Man Kangaroo first: Yellow-Dog Dingo behind.
Kangaroo bounded away,
His back-legs working like pistons--
Bounded from morning till dark,
Twenty-five feet to a bound.
Yellow-Dog Dingo lay
Like a yellow cloud in the distance--
Much too busy to bark.
My! but they covered the ground!
Nobody knows where they went,
Or followed the track that they flew in,
For that Continent
Hadn't been given a name.
They ran thirty degrees,
From Torres Straits to the Leeuwin
(Look at the Atlas, please),
And they ran back as they came.
S'posing you could trot
From Adelaide to the Pacific,
For an afternoon's run--
Half what these gentlemen did--
You would feel rather hot,
But your legs would develop terrific--
Yes, my importunate son,
You'd be a Marvellous Kid!
[Illustration: The Beginning of the Armadillos]
THE BEGINNING OF THE ARMADILLOS
THIS, O Best Beloved, is another story of the High and Far-Off Times. In
the very middle of those times was a Stickly-Prickly Hedgehog, and he
lived on the banks of the turbid Amazon, eating shelly snails and
things. And he had a friend, a Slow-Solid Tortoise, who lived on the
banks of the turbid Amazon, eating green lettuces and things. And so
_that_ was all right, Best Beloved. Do you see?
But also, and at the same time, in those High and Far-Off Times, there
was a Painted Jaguar, and he lived on the banks of the turbid Amazon
too; and he ate everything that he could catch. When he could not catch
deer or monkeys he would eat frogs and beetles; and when he could not
catch frogs and beetles he went to his Mother Jaguar, and she told him
how to eat hedgehogs and tortoises.
She said to him ever so many times, graciously waving her tail, 'My son,
when you find a Hedgehog you must drop him into the water and then he
will uncoil, and when you catch a Tortoise you must scoop him out of his
shell with your paw.' And so that was all right, Best Beloved.
One beautiful night on the banks of the turbid Amazon, Painted Jaguar
found Stickly-Prickly Hedgehog and Slow-Solid Tortoise sitting under the
trunk of a fallen tree. They could not run away, and so Stickly-Prickly
curled himself up into a ball, because he was a Hedgehog, and Slow-Solid
Tortoise drew in his head and feet into his shell as far as they would
go, because he was a Tortoise; and so _that_ was all right, Best
Beloved. Do you see?
'Now attend to me,' said Painted Jaguar, 'because this is very
important. My mother said that when I meet a Hedgehog I am to drop him
into the water and then he will uncoil, and when I meet a Tortoise I am
to scoop him out of his shell with my paw. Now which of you is Hedgehog
and which is Tortoise? because to save my spots, I can't tell.'
'Are you sure of what your Mummy told you?' said Stickly-Prickly
Hedgehog. 'Are you quite sure? Perhaps she said that when you uncoil a
Tortoise you must shell him out of the water with a scoop, and when you
paw a Hedgehog you must drop him on the shell.'
'Are you sure of what your Mummy told you?' said Slow-and-Solid
Tortoise. 'Are you quite sure? Perhaps she said that when you water a
Hedgehog you must drop him into your paw, and when you meet a Tortoise
you must shell him till he uncoils.'
'I don't think it was at all like that,' said Painted Jaguar, but he
felt a little puzzled; 'but, please, say it again more distinctly.'
'When you scoop water with your paw you uncoil it with a Hedgehog,' said
Stickly-Prickly. 'Remember that, because it's important.'
'_But_,' said the Tortoise, 'when you paw your meat you drop it into a
Tortoise with a scoop. Why can't you understand?'
[Illustration: THIS is an inciting map of the Turbid Amazon done in
Red and Black. It hasn't anything to do with the story except that there
are two Armadillos in it--up by the top. The inciting part are the
adventures that happened to the men who went along the road marked in
red. I meant to draw Armadillos when I began the map, and I meant to
draw manatees and spider-tailed monkeys and big snakes and lots of
Jaguars, but it was more inciting to do the map and the venturesome
adventures in red. You begin at the bottom left-hand corner and follow
the little arrows all about, and then you come quite round again to
where the adventuresome people went home in a ship called the _Royal
Tiger_. This is a most adventuresome picture, and all the adventures are
told about in writing, so you can be quite sure which is an adventure
and which is a tree or a boat.]
'You are making my spots ache,' said Painted Jaguar; 'and besides, I
didn't want your advice at all. I only wanted to know which of you is
Hedgehog and which is Tortoise.'
'I shan't tell you,' said Stickly-Prickly, 'but you can scoop me out of
my shell if you like.'
'Aha!' said Painted Jaguar. 'Now I know you're Tortoise. You thought I
wouldn't! Now I will.' Painted Jaguar darted out his paddy-paw just as
Stickly-Prickly curled himself up, and of course Jaguar's paddy-paw was
just filled with prickles. Worse than that, he knocked Stickly-Prickly
away and away into the woods and the bushes, where it was too dark to
find him. Then he put his paddy-paw into his mouth, and of course the
prickles hurt him worse than ever. As soon as he could speak he said,
'Now I know he isn't Tortoise at all. But'--and then he scratched his
head with his un-prickly paw--'how do I know that this other is
Tortoise?'
'But I _am_ Tortoise,' said Slow-and-Solid. 'Your mother was quite
right. She said that you were to scoop me out of my shell with your paw.
Begin.'
'You didn't say she said that a minute ago,' said Painted Jaguar,
sucking the prickles out of his paddy-paw. 'You said she said something
quite different.'
'Well, suppose you say that I said that she said something quite
different, I don't see that it makes any difference; because if she said
what you said I said she said, it's just the same as if I said what she
said she said. On the other hand, if you think she said that you were to
uncoil me with a scoop, instead of pawing me into drops with a shell, I
can't help that, can I?'
'But you said you wanted to be scooped out of your shell with my paw,'
said Painted Jaguar.
'If you'll think again you'll find that I didn't say anything of the
kind. I said that your mother said that you were to scoop me out of my
shell,' said Slow-and-Solid.
'What will happen if I do?' said the Jaguar most sniffily and most
cautious.
'I don't know, because I've never been scooped out of my shell before;
but I tell you truly, if you want to see me swim away you've only got to
drop me into the water.'
'I don't believe it,' said Painted Jaguar. 'You've mixed up all the
things my mother told me to do with the things that you asked me whether
I was sure that she didn't say, till I don't know whether I'm on my head
or my painted tail; and now you come and tell me something I _can_
understand, and it makes me more mixy than before. My mother told me
that I was to drop one of you two into the water, and as you seem so
anxious to be dropped I think you don't want to be dropped. So jump into
the turbid Amazon and be quick about it.'
'I warn you that your Mummy won't be pleased. Don't tell her I didn't
tell you,' said Slow-Solid.
'If you say another word about what my mother said--' the Jaguar
answered, but he had not finished the sentence before Slow-and-Solid
quietly dived into the turbid Amazon, swam under water for a long way,
and came out on the bank where Stickly-Prickly was waiting for him.
'That was a very narrow escape,' said Stickly-Prickly. 'I don't like
Painted Jaguar. What did you tell him that you were?'
'I told him truthfully that I was a truthful Tortoise, but he wouldn't
believe it, and he made me jump into the river to see if I was, and I
was, and he is surprised. Now he's gone to tell his Mummy. Listen to
him!'
They could hear Painted Jaguar roaring up and down among the trees and
the bushes by the side of the turbid Amazon, till his Mummy came.
'Son, son!' said his mother ever so many times, graciously waving her
tail, 'what have you been doing that you shouldn't have done?'
'I tried to scoop something that said it wanted to be scooped out of its
shell with my paw, and my paw is full of per-ickles,' said Painted
Jaguar.
'Son, son!' said his mother ever so many times, graciously waving her
tail, 'by the prickles in your paddy-paw I see that that must have been
a Hedgehog. You should have dropped him into the water.'
'I did that to the other thing; and he said he was a Tortoise, and I
didn't believe him, and it was quite true, and he has dived under the
turbid Amazon, and he won't come up again, and I haven't anything at all
to eat, and I think we had better find lodgings somewhere else. They are
too clever on the turbid Amazon for poor me!'
'Son, son!' said his mother ever so many times, graciously waving her
tail, 'now attend to me and remember what I say. A Hedgehog curls
himself up into a ball and his prickles stick out every which way at
once. By this you may know the Hedgehog.'
'I don't like this old lady one little bit,' said Stickly-Prickly, under
the shadow of a large leaf. 'I wonder what else she knows?'
'A Tortoise can't curl himself up,' Mother Jaguar went on, ever so many
times, graciously waving her tail. 'He only draws his head and legs into
his shell. By this you may know the Tortoise.'
'I don't like this old lady at all--at all,' said Slow-and-Solid
Tortoise. 'Even Painted Jaguar can't forget those directions. It's a
great pity that you can't swim, Stickly-Prickly.'
'Don't talk to me,' said Stickly-Prickly. 'Just think how much better it
would be if you could curl up. This _is_ a mess! Listen to Painted
Jaguar.'
Painted Jaguar was sitting on the banks of the turbid Amazon sucking
prickles out of his paws and saying to himself--
'Can't curl, but can swim--
Slow-Solid, that's him!
Curls up, but can't swim--
Stickly-Prickly, that's him!'
'He'll never forget that this month of Sundays,' said Stickly-Prickly.
'Hold up my chin, Slow-and-Solid. I'm going to try to learn to swim. It
may be useful.'
'Excellent!' said Slow-and-Solid; and he held up Stickly-Prickly's chin,
while Stickly-Prickly kicked in the waters of the turbid Amazon.
'You'll make a fine swimmer yet,' said Slow-and-Solid. 'Now, if you can
unlace my back-plates a little, I'll see what I can do towards curling
up. It may be useful.'
Stickly-Prickly helped to unlace Tortoise's back-plates, so that by
twisting and straining Slow-and-Solid actually managed to curl up a
tiddy wee bit.
'Excellent!' said Stickly-Prickly; 'but I shouldn't do any more just
now. It's making you black in the face. Kindly lead me into the water
once again and I'll practise that side-stroke which you say is so easy.'
And so Stickly-Prickly practised, and Slow-Solid swam alongside.
'Excellent!' said Slow-and-Solid. 'A little more practice will make you
a regular whale. Now, if I may trouble you to unlace my back and front
plates two holes more, I'll try that fascinating bend that you say is so
easy. Won't Painted Jaguar be surprised!'
'Excellent!' said Stickly-Prickly, all wet from the turbid Amazon. 'I
declare, I shouldn't know you from one of my own family. Two holes, I
think, you said? A little more expression, please, and don't grunt quite
so much, or Painted Jaguar may hear us. When you've finished, I want to
try that long dive which you say is so easy. Won't Painted Jaguar be
surprised!'
And so Stickly-Prickly dived, and Slow-and-Solid dived alongside.
'Excellent!' said Slow-and-Solid. 'A leetle more attention to holding
your breath and you will be able to keep house at the bottom of the
turbid Amazon. Now I'll try that exercise of wrapping my hind legs round
my ears which you say is so peculiarly comfortable. Won't Painted Jaguar
be surprised!'
'Excellent!' said Stickly-Prickly. 'But it's straining your back-plates
a little. They are all overlapping now, instead of lying side by side.'
'Oh, that's the result of exercise,' said Slow-and-Solid. 'I've noticed
that your prickles seem to be melting into one another, and that you're
growing to look rather more like a pine-cone, and less like a
chestnut-burr, than you used to.'
'Am I?' said Stickly-Prickly. 'That comes from my soaking in the water.
Oh, won't Painted Jaguar be surprised!'
They went on with their exercises, each helping the other, till morning
came; and when the sun was high they rested and dried themselves. Then
they saw that they were both of them quite different from what they had
been.
'Stickly-Prickly,' said Tortoise after breakfast, 'I am not what I was
yesterday; but I think that I may yet amuse Painted Jaguar.'
'That was the very thing I was thinking just now,' said Stickly-Prickly.
'I think scales are a tremendous improvement on prickles--to say nothing
of being able to swim. Oh, _won't_ Painted Jaguar be surprised! Let's go
and find him.'