After supper, when only the family party were present, the conversation
turned on the unhappy effects of misguided passion. Mrs. Stanley
lamented that novels, with a very few admirable exceptions, had done
infinite mischief, by so completely establishing the omnipotence of
love, that the young reader was almost systematically taught an
unresisting submission to a feeling, because the feeling was commonly
represented as irresistible.
"Young ladies," said Sir John, smiling, "in their blind submission to
this imaginary omnipotence, are apt to be necessarians. When they _fall_
in love, as it is so justly called, they then obey their _fate_; but in
their stout opposition to prudence and duty, they most manfully exert
their _free will_; so that they want nothing but _knowledge absolute_ of
the miseries attendant on an indiscreet attachment, completely to
exemplify the occupation assigned by Milton to a class of beings to whom
it would not be gallant to resemble young ladies."
Mrs. Stanley continued to assert, that ill-placed affection only became
invincible, because its supposed invincibility had been first erected
into a principle. She then adverted to the power of religion in subduing
the passions, that of love among the rest.
I ventured to ask Lucilla, who was sitting next me (a happiness which,
by some means or other, I generally contrived to enjoy), what were her
sentiments on this point? With a little confusion, she said, "to conquer
an ill placed attachment, I conceive may be effected by motives inferior
to religion. Reason, the humbling conviction of having made an unworthy
choice, for I will not resort to so bad a motive as pride, may easily
accomplish it. But to conquer a well-founded affection, a justifiable
attachment, I should imagine, requires the powerful principle of
Christian piety; and what can not that effect?" She stopped and blushed,
as fearing she had said too much.
Lady Belfield observed, that she believed a virtuous attachment might
possibly be subdued by the principle Miss Stanley had mentioned; yet she
doubted if it were in the power of religion itself, to enable the heart
to conquer aversion, much less to establish affection for an object for
whom dislike had been entertained.
"I believe," said Mr. Stanley, "the example is rare, and the exertion
difficult; but that which is difficult to us, is not impossible to him
who has the hearts of all men in his hand. And I am happy to resolve
Lady Belfield's doubt by a case in point.
"You can not, Sir John, have forgotten our old London acquaintance,
Carlton?" "No," replied he, "nor can I ever forget what I have since
heard of his ungenerous treatment of that most amiable woman, his wife.
I suppose he has long ago broken her heart."
"You know," resumed Mr. Stanley, "they married not only without any
inclination on either side, but on her part with something more than
indifference, with a preference for another person. _She_ married
through an implicit obedience to her mother's will, which she had never
in any instance opposed: _He_, because his father had threatened to
disinherit him if he married any other woman; for as they were distant
relations, there was no other way of securing the estate in the family."
"What a motive for a union so sacred and so indissoluble!" exclaimed I,
with an ardor which raised a smile in the whole party. I asked pardon
for my involuntary interruption, and Mr. Stanley proceeded.
"She had long entertained a partiality for a most deserving young
clergyman, much her inferior in rank and fortune. But though her high
sense of filial duty led her to sacrifice this innocent inclination, and
though she resolved never to see him again, and had even prevailed on
him to quit the country, and settle in a distant place, yet Carlton was
ungenerous and inconsistent enough to be jealous of her without loving
her. He was guilty of great irregularities, while Mrs. Carlton set about
acquitting herself of the duties of a wife, with the most meek and
humble patience, burying her sorrows in her own bosom, and not allowing
herself even the consolation of complaining.
"Among the many reasons for his dislike, her piety was the principal. He
said religion was of no use but to disqualify people for the business of
life; that it taught them to make a merit of despising their duties, and
hating their relations; and that pride, ill-humor, opposition, and
contempt for the rest of the world, were the meat and drink of all those
who pretended to religion.
"At first she nearly sunk under his unkindness; her health declined, and
her spirits failed. In this distress she applied to the only sure refuge
for the unhappy, and took comfort in the consideration that her trials
were appointed, by a merciful Father, to detach her from a world which
she might have loved too fondly, had it not been thus stripped of its
delights.
"When Mrs. Stanley, who was her confidential friend, expressed the
tenderest sympathy in her sufferings, she meekly replied, 'Remember who
are they whose robes are washed white in the kingdom of glory, _it is
they who come out of great tribulation_. I endeavor to strengthen my
faith with a view of what the best Christians have suffered, and my hope
with meditating on the shortness of all suffering. I will confess my
weakness,' added she: 'of the various motives to patience under the
ills of life, which the Bible presents, though my reason and religion
acknowledge them all, there is not one which comes home so powerfully to
my feelings as this--_the time is short_.'
"Another time Mrs. Stanley, who had heard of some recent irregularities
of Carlton, called upon her, and lamenting the solitude to which she was
often left for days together, advised her to have a female friend in the
house, that her mind might not be left to prey upon itself by living so
much alone. She thanked her for the kind suggestion, but said she felt
it was wiser and better not to have a confidential friend always at
hand, 'for of what subject should we talk,' said she, 'but of my
husband's faults? Ought I to allow myself in such a practice? It would
lead me to indulge a habit of complaint which I am laboring to subdue.
The compassion of my friend would only sharpen my feelings, which I wish
to blunt. Giving vent to a flame only makes it rage the more; if
suppressing can not subdue it, at least the consciousness that I am
doing my duty will enable me to support it. When we feel,' added she,
'that we are _doing_ wrong, the opening our heart may strengthen our
virtue; but when we are _suffering_ wrong, the mind demands another sort
of strength; it wants higher support than friendship has to impart. It
pours out its sorrows in prayer with fuller confidence, knowing that he
who sees can sustain; that he who hears will recompense; that he will
judge, not our weakness, but our efforts to conquer it; not our success,
but our endeavors; with him endeavor is victory.
"'The grace I most want,' added she, 'is humility. A partial friend, in
order to support my spirits, would flatter my conduct: gratified with
her soothing, I should, perhaps, not so entirely cast myself for comfort
on God. Contented with human praise, I might rest in it. Besides, having
endured the smart, I would not willingly endure it in vain. We know who
has said, 'If you suffer with me, you shall also reign with me.' It is
not, however, to mere suffering that the promise is addressed, but to
suffering for his sake, and in his spirit.' Then turning to the Bible
which lay before her, and pointing to the sublime passage of St Paul,
which she had just been reading, 'Our light affliction which is but for
a moment worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of
glory.' 'Pray,' said she, 'read this in connection with the next verse,
which is not always done. _When_ is it that it works for us this weight
of glory? _Only_ 'while we are looking at the things which are not
seen.' Do admire the beauty of this position, and how the good is
weighed against the evil, like two scales differently filled; the
affliction is light, and but for a moment; the glory is a _weight_, and
it is _forever_. 'Tis a feather against lead, a grain of sand against
the universe, a moment against eternity. Oh, how the scale which
contains this world's light trouble kicks the beam, when weighed against
the glory which shall be revealed.'
"At the end of two years she had a little girl; this opened to her a new
scene of duties, and a fresh source of consolation. Her religion proved
itself to be of the right stamp, by making her temper still more sweet,
and diffusing the happiest effects through her whole character and
conversation. When her husband had staid out late, or even all night,
she never reproached him. When he was at home, she received his friends
with as much civility as if she had liked them. He found that his house
was conducted with the utmost prudence, and that while she maintained
his credit at his table, her personal expenses were almost nothing:
indeed, self seemed nearly annihilated in her. He sometimes felt
disappointed, because he had no cause of complaint, and was angry that
he had nothing to condemn.
"As he has a very fine understanding, he was the more provoked, because
he could not help seeing that her blameless conduct put him continually
in the wrong. All this puzzled him. He never suspected there was a
principle, out of which such consequences could grow, and was ready to
attribute to insensibility, that patience which nothing short of
Christian piety could have inspired. He had conceived of religion as a
visionary system of words and phrases, and concluded that from so
unsubstantial a theory, it would be a folly to look for practical
effects.
"Sometimes, when he saw her nursing his child, of whom he was very fond,
he was almost tempted to admire the mother, who is a most pleasing
figure; and now and then when his heart was thus softened for a moment,
he would ask himself, what reasonable ground of objection there was
either to her mind or person?
"Mrs. Carlton, knowing that his affairs must necessarily be embarrassed,
by the extraordinary expenses he had incurred, when the steward brought
her usual year's allowance she refused to take more than half, and
ordered him to employ the remainder on his master's account. The
faithful old man was ready to weep, and could not forbear saying,
'Madam, you could not do more for a kind husband. Besides, it is but a
drop of water in the ocean.' 'That drop,' said she, 'it is my duty to
contribute.' When the steward communicated this to Carlton, he was
deeply affected, refused to take the money, and again was driven to
resort to the wonderful principle from which such right but difficult
actions could proceed."
Here I interrupted Mr. Stanley. "I am quite of the steward's opinion,"
said I. "That a woman should do this and much more for the man who loved
her, and whom she loved, is quite intelligible to every being who has a
heart. But for a cruel, unfeeling tyrant! I do not comprehend it. What
say you, Miss Stanley?"
"Under the circumstance you suppose," said she, blushing, "I think the
woman would have no shadow of merit; her conduct would be a mere
gratification, an entire indulgence of her own feelings. The triumph of
affection would have been cheap; Mrs. Carlton's was the triumph of
religion; of a principle which could subdue an attachment to a worthy
object, and act with such generosity toward an unworthy one."
Mr. Stanley went on. "Mrs. Carlton frequently sat up late, reading such
books as might qualify her for the education of her child, but always
retired before she had reason to expect Mr. Carlton, lest he might
construe it into upbraiding. One night, as he was not expected to come
home at all, she sat later than usual, and had indulged herself with
taking her child to pass the night in her bed. With her usual
earnestness she knelt down and offered up her devotions by her bed-side,
and in a manner particularly solemn and affecting, prayed for her
husband. Her heart was deeply touched, and she dwelt on these petitions
in a strain peculiarly fervent. She prayed for his welfare in both
worlds, and earnestly implored that she might be made the humble
instrument of his happiness. She meekly acknowledged her own many
offenses; of his she said nothing.
"Thinking herself secure from interruption, her petitions were uttered
aloud; her voice often faltering, and her eyes streaming with tears.
Little did she suspect that the object of her prayers was within hearing
of them. He had returned home unexpectedly, and coming softly into the
room, heard her pious aspirations. He was inexpressibly affected. He
wept, and sighed bitterly. The light from the candles on the table fell
on the blooming face of his sleeping infant, and on that of his weeping
wife. It was too much for him. But he had not the virtuous courage to
give way to his feelings. He had not the generosity to come forward and
express the admiration he felt. He withdrew unperceived, and passed the
remainder of the night in great perturbation of spirit. Shame, remorse,
and confusion, raised such a conflict in his mind, as prevented him from
closing his eyes; while she slept in quiet, and awoke in peace.
"The next morning, during a very short interview, he behaved to her with
a kindness which she had never before experienced. He had not resolution
to breakfast with her, but promised, with affection in his words and
manners, to return to dinner. The truth was, he never quitted home, but
wandered about his woods to compose and strengthen his mind. This
self-examination was the first he had practiced; its effects were
salutary.
"A day or two previous to this, they had dined at our house. He had
always been much addicted to the pleasures of the table. He expressed
high approbation of a particular dish, and mentioned again when he got
home how much he liked it. The next morning Mrs. Carlton wrote to
Lucilla to beg the receipt for making this ragout; and this day, when he
returned from his solitary ramble and 'compunctuous visitings,' the
favorite dish, most exquisitely dressed, was produced at his dinner. He
thanked her for this obliging attention, and turning to the butler,
directed him to tell the cook that no dish was ever so well dressed.
Mrs. Carlton blushed when the honest butler said, 'Sir, it was my
mistress dressed it with her own hands, because she knew your honor was
fond of it.'
"Tears of gratitude rushed into Carlton's eyes, and tears of joy
overflowed those of the old domestic, when his master, rising from the
table, tenderly embraced his wife, and declared he was unworthy of such
a treasure. 'I have been guilty of a public wrong, Johnson,' said he to
his servant, 'and my reparation shall be as public. I can never deserve
her, but my life shall be spent in endeavoring to do so.'
"The little girl was brought in, and her presence seemed to cement this
new formed union. An augmented cheerfulness on the part of Mrs. Carlton
invited an increased tenderness on that of her husband. He began every
day to discover new excellences in his wife, which he readily
acknowledged to herself, and to the world. The conviction of her worth
had been gradually producing esteem, esteem now ripened into affection,
and his affection for his wife was mingled with a blind sort of
admiration of that piety which had produced such effects. He now began
to think home the pleasantest place, and his wife the pleasantest
companion.
"A gentle censure from him on the excessive frugality of her dress,
mixed with admiration of the purity of its motive, was an intimation to
her to be more elegant. He happened to admire a gown worn by a lady whom
they had visited. She not only sent for the same materials, but had it
made by the same pattern. A little attention of which he felt the
delicacy.
"He not only saw, but in no long time acknowledged, that a religion
which produced such admirable effects, could not be so mischievous a
principle as he had supposed, nor could it be an inert principle. Her
prudence has accomplished what her piety began. She always watched the
turn of his eye, to see how far she might venture, and changed the
discourse when the look was not encouraging. She never tired him with
lectures, never obtruded serious discourse unseasonably, nor prolonged
it improperly. His early love of reading, which had for some years given
way to more turbulent pleasures, he has resumed; and frequently
insists, that the books he reads to her shall be of her own choosing. In
this choice she exercises the nicest discretion, selecting such as may
gently lead his mind to higher pursuits, but which at the same time are
so elegantly written as not to disgust his taste. In all this Mrs.
Stanley is her friend and counselor.
"While Mrs. Carlton is advancing her husband's relish for books of
piety, he is forming hers to polite literature. She herself often
proposes an amusing book, that he may not suspect her of a wish to
abridge his innocent gratifications; and by this complaisance she gains
more than she loses, for, not to be outdone in generosity, he often
proposes some pious one in return. Thus their mutual sacrifices are
mutual benefits. She has found out that he has a highly cultivated
understanding, and he has discovered that she has a mind remarkably
susceptible of cultivation. He has by degrees dropped most of his former
associates, and has entirely renounced the diversions into which they
led him. He is become a frequent and welcome visitor here. His conduct
is uniformly respectable, and I look forward with hope to his becoming
even a shining character. There is, however, a pertinacity, I may say a
sincerity, in his temper, which somewhat keeps him back. He will never
adopt any principle without the most complete conviction of his own
mind; nor profess any truth of which he himself does not actually feel
the force."
Lady Belfield, after thanking Mr. Stanley for his interesting little
narrative, earnestly requested that Sir John would renew his
acquaintance with Mr. Carlton, that she herself might be enabled to
profit by such an affecting example of the power of genuine religion as
his wife exhibited; confessing that one such living instance would weigh
more with her than a hundred arguments. Mrs. Stanley obligingly promised
to invite them to dinner the first leisure day. Mr. Stanley now
informed us that Sir George Aston was arrived from Cambridge on a visit
to his mother and sisters; that he was a youth of great promise whom he
begged to introduce to us as a young man in whose welfare he took a
lively concern, and on the right formation of whose character much would
depend, as he had a large estate, and the family interest in the county
would give him a very considerable influence; to this influence it was,
therefore, of great importance to give a right direction. We next
morning took a ride to Aston Hall, and I commenced an acquaintance with
the engaging young baronet, which I doubt not, from what I saw and
heard, will hereafter ripen into friendship.