THE FIRST RAID.

"Around me broods the dim mysterious Night,

Star-lit and still.

No whisper comes across the Plain."

--_The Night Raid._

Night! Before I knew I was to fly through the darkness over the country

of the enemy; night had been for me a time of soft withdrawal from the

world--a time of quiet. It still held its old childhood mystery of a

vague oblivion between day and day, an unusual space of time peopled by

slumberous dreams in the gloom of a warm, familiar bed.

Night was a time in which busy and scattered humanity collected once

more to the family hearth, and careless of the wet darkness outside,

careless of the wind which howled over the roof and moaned down the

chimney, sat in the sequestered comfort by the glow of the fire in a

lamp-lit room. Night did not mean a mere temporary obscuring of the

daytime world. One did not feel that out there in the gloom beyond the

dead windows lay the countryside of day, hidden, though unchanged. One

felt that for a time the real world had ended, and that as one drifted

to sleep, the real house faded and melted away to ghostly regions beyond

the comprehension of man.

In the days before my first raid, I used to wander away from the lighted

windows of the little camp, down the long road to Toul, beneath the

glittering stars, looking up into the blue immensity of the sky,

thinking how I was going to move high up there--above the dim country,

across the distant lines to some remote riverside factory, beyond the

great fortress of Metz.

From that moment the whole meaning of night changed, and changed for

ever. Night became for me a time of restless activity; the darkness

became a vast theatre for mystery and drama. The midnight obscurity

became a thick mantle whose friendly folds hid from the sight of its

enemies the throbbing aeroplane in its long, long flights over a

shadow-peopled world.

The night became my day. _Dusk is our dawn, and midnight is our noon_,

is the song of the night-bombers. To them daylight is a time of

preparation, a time of rest, but never a time in which they can fly upon

their destructive expeditions.

The pale evening star gleams above the gold and crimson glories of the

sunset. The eastern sky becomes deeply blue. Out of the hangars come the

giant machines. The night-flying airman begins to rouse himself, and

with the first rustle of the twilight breeze amidst the black lace-work

of the bare branches comes the awakening action of the brain, and into

his head troop a thousand thoughts, a thousand problems, a thousand

impulses.

Over a map I bent, day after day, looking at Metz, looking at

Thionville, following the curved black mark of the lines, and pondering

the round spots which represented anti-aircraft batteries--going on my

first raid a thousand times in anticipation. At times fear held me--the

fear of the unknown. What would happen? What would happen? We might get

"there," but would we return? Would a German air patrol await us--would

a fierce impassable barrage bring about our downfall? Surely, surely,

we argued (my pilot and I), they would be waiting for us on our way

back.

We knew nothing of night-bombing, nothing of flying across the lines.

Before us lay a curtain through which we had to pass. We did not know

what lay on the other side, or if we would return through the closed

draperies.

At times the thrill of romance, of high star-touching adventure, stirred

my imagination. I thought how I was to move undaunted and triumphant

over the moonlit river, over the forests of the Vosges, with my twelve

bombs ready to drop at my slightest order. I realised how I was to bring

destruction to far-off blast-furnaces where the sweating Germans poured

out the white blue-flamed metal to make shells and long naval guns--how

I was perhaps to ride homeward down the vast avenues of the skies to the

waiting aerodrome with the exhilaration of a conqueror!

Then came the third mental phase of those days of waiting for the

raid--the phase of pity. I shall kill to-night! thought I. I shall kill

to-night. Even now the worker eats his contented dinner with his wife

and children before going on the night-shift--the night-shift which

will never see day. Even now is a young man greeting his beloved whom he

will never live to wed. Is it true that those plump yellow bombs with

their red and green rings are destined to rip flesh and blood--to tear

up people whom I have never seen, and whom I will never know that I have

slain?

So through my imagination went pouring the strange processions of

thought. Brighter and brighter grew the moon; clearer and clearer grew

the night. Far away to the north, near Pont-a-Mousson, I could see, as I

stood on the road to Toul, the luminous white star-shells which hung

quivering in the air, and dropped slowly as they faded away. There in

the dark road beneath the tall bare trees I would stand, a little

figure, in a great solitude under the ten thousand watching stars,

gazing out to the lines, wondering and wondering what lay beyond.

The days passed slowly. The possibilities of each night were doomed by

the French report, "_Brume dans les vallees!_" Mist was considered a

great danger to navigation, so night after night the raid was

postponed.

French _Breguets de Bombardement_, huge unwieldy machines, carrying two

men and twenty or so little vicious bombs, were also operating from the

aerodrome, and the French authorities had arranged a detailed and very

useful system of ground lights to assist navigation.

At several places were groups of lights, each group separated by a

certain number of miles, to give the airmen an opportunity to learn his

speed across the ground. There were rocket positions. There were groups

of flares pointing north. Here and there were emergency landing-grounds.

The whole dim country was going to be twinkling with little messages,

with lights and flares and friendly rockets. More and more in these days

of waiting I became obsessed with the idea of the long journey I was so

make through the blue vagueness of the night above the moonlit country.

Then one night the moon rose clear and clean above a mistless world. The

more brilliant stars burnt steadily in the velvet of the night. A

silence brooded over the rolling downs and the deep-shadowed valleys. On

the aerodrome was deliberate activity and suppressed excitement. The

Handley-Page, on which the C.O. intended to carry out the first raid,

spread its long splendid wings under the eager hands of the mechanics,

who for long days had been preparing everything--had been testing every

wire and bolt, and had kept the machine on the pinnacle of efficiency.

Now they swarmed round it like keen and careful ants, pinning up the

wings, filling the engine tanks with hot water pumped up from a wheeled

boiler, known as the "hot potato waggon," exercising machine-guns, and

testing the controls.

The two engines were started up, and roared with a surging vibrant

clamour for ten minutes. Then the full power was put on, and for a few

minutes the noise became ear-splitting, and the waves of sound rolled

across the aerodrome and came echoing back from the hangars. The wheels

strained restlessly against the triangular wooden "chocks." The tail and

the wings shook and quivered with repressed emotion. The exhaust-pipes

of the motors grew red hot, long blue flames streamed out of them, and

thousands of red sparks went whirling along through the shivering

tail-planes into the darkness behind. It was an awe-inspiring sight. I

asked the silent preoccupied warrant-officer engineer, a rugged naval

man who knew the soul of the mighty Rolls-Royce engines, if it was all

right. I could not believe that those red-hot pipes and blue flames were

not a sign of an engine gone amok and hopelessly overheated. The thunder

and the awful expression of power frightened me. The engineer, however,

assured me that it was all correct, and explained that the engines were

just the same in the daytime, though the heat and the sparks could not

be seen in the light.

Near the towering bulk of the machine with its two deafening motors

stood the pilot, the C.O., who was a frail-looking figure, with his

youthful fair-haired face almost hidden in the wide black fur-lined

collar of his thick padded overall suit. He stood there with his

flying-cap and his goggles in his hand, waiting to climb into the

machine when the mechanics had finished the test of the engines.

I went over to wish him luck, feeling awestruck at his coolness. On the

grass of the aerodrome shone the great flares. Above hung the heartless

stars, and the blank-faced moon swung rather mockingly, it seemed to me,

above the dim patterns of the wooded landscape. The little fair-haired

figure stood by the hot-breathed steed which he was going to ride, and

it seemed that he was too small, too frail--that any human being was too

frail--to take that monster of steel and wood and canvas into the

unknown dangers which lay beyond the cold glare of the star-shells on

the horizon.

Then the C.O. climbed into the machine, and his head and shoulders

appeared just above the blunt nose which stuck out six feet above the

ground. He shouted down an order or two. The little triangular door on

the floor of the machine was shut. The blocks of wood were taken away

from beneath the wheels. The engines roared out, and the machine moved

slowly across the grass. It turned slightly, its noise leapt up suddenly

again, and with a beating throb the huge craft began to move across the

aerodrome with its blue flames and showers of red sparks shooting out

behind it. Faster and faster it went--every eye watching it, every mouth

firm and voiceless. At last it roared up into the air, and then a

curious thing happened which showed the strain and the nervousness under

which we were all working that night.

In a few moments the noise of the engines died out, and beyond the slope

of green over which the machine had climbed appeared a dull red glow.

"Oh! he's crashed!" almost sobbed somebody in those awful vibrant tones,

full of fear and excitement, almost passionate with terror, which are so

often heard when there is a swift sudden accident.

Babel broke out. "Quick! _Pyrenes!_ Quick! Start up the car! It's

burning! Quick, _quick_! How awful! Drive like blazes, driver!"

Round the aerodrome the loaded car jolted and bumped, going as fast as

the driver could make it, glittering with the fire-extinguishers held by

the agonised white-faced passengers.

Behind some hangars we rushed, and suddenly we heard the glorious sound

of a _bavoom_, _bavoom_, overhead, as the Handley-Page swept

triumphantly above us.

"Safe! Oh, good, good, good!" thought every one. Over the crest of the

little swell in the ground we saw some dull red landing flares burning

in a flickering line. The sudden cessation of the engine's clamour owing

to a change of wind, and the sudden burning up of the flares, had

brought at once to overwrought nerves the worst fears. As we rode back,

pretending we were very ashamed of ourselves, we decided not to tell the

C.O. what had happened when he landed. We were very fond of him....

For ten minutes or so the machine roared round and round the aerodrome.

We could see its shape black against the starshine for a little while,

and then we could distinguish it no longer, for to our great delight it

was hidden by the darkness in spite of the moonlight. Then it turned

towards the lines, was heard booming faintly for a moment, and finally

its noise died right away. The aerodrome lay silent under the magic of

the watching stars and the silver frozen moon.

Restless minutes passed. From mess to cabins, from cabins to the

aerodrome with its dazzling acetylene flares, we moved uneasily. Had he

crossed the lines now? we wondered. Had he got to Metz? What was he

doing? Had he dropped his bombs yet?

An hour and a half had gone. He was due back. Still the deep immensity

of the night gave no signal. The moon had climbed a little, and its

tarnished face was smaller and brighter. There was no sound on the air

save the sighing of the wind, the low murmur of a dynamo, and the

occasional clear quiet chime of a clock in the village church tower.

Then somebody said, "Listen! Hush!" Faint but surely sounded the throb

of the motors. Every moment it grew more distinct. The crowds on the

aerodrome increased. The relief of a strain ended moved pleasantly

through them.

Then in the air appeared a glittering ball of light which dropped in a

curve and faded away. Another ball of light shot up from the ground in

answer. The noise of the engines in the air stopped as the machine

glided in wide circles towards the ground. Suddenly it appeared a few

hundred feet in the air, brilliantly lit up by two blindingly white

lights which burned fiercely below both wing-tips, and from which

dropped little gouts of luminous liquid. The powerful illumination

lighted up every face, every dress, every shed and pile of stones in

clear detail with its quivering glare.

Now every eye was watching the machine as it drew nearer and nearer to

the ground. This was the first time that a Handley-Page had been landed

at night, and landing is the most difficult and uncertain problem of

flying.

Lower and lower it floated, then flattened out, and drifted on just

above the grass. With scarcely a bump it touched the ground, ran

forwards a little, and swept round towards us.

"Good! Priceless! Thank Heaven that's done!" muttered a dozen watchers.

The waiting crowd streamed across to the machine from whose wing-tip

flares, now dull and red, still dropped hot drops of liquid.

Some stooped at once under the machine to examine the brown paper which

had been temporarily pasted across the bottom of the bomb-racks, as the

bomb-doors had not yet been fitted. Scarcely a piece of paper

remained--the bomb-racks were empty--the bombs had been dropped!

Then was a scene of excitement. The night travellers were welcomed and

congratulated, and a thousand queries were rained on them. "How did the

engines go? Any searchlights? Any shell-fire? Where did you drop the

bombs? Did you find the way easily?" and so on in an endless stream. It

had been a flight which had broken new ground--the first flight of five

thousand night flights by Handley-Pages. It was the climax of an

experiment. The machine had gone up into the night, and had returned

with its cargo discharged.

A night or two later our turn came. The machine stood on the aerodrome:

the wings were stretched and pinned up; the tanks were filled with hot

water. I went to my little cabin with its rose-shaded lamp, and with a

heavy heart began to prepare for the raid. I dressed myself in thick

woollen socks; knee-high flying boots lined with white fleece; a sweater

or two, a muffler, and the big overall suit of grey-green mackintosh

lined with thick black beaver fur with a wide fur collar. On my head

went my flying-cap. I strapped it under my chin and got my goggles and

gloves ready. I felt very out of place, so clumsy and grotesque, like a

deep-sea diver, in the little room with its bookshelf and neat white

bed and soft lamplight.

I had the terrible sinking sensation which I had felt before when about

to be caned, and when in the waiting-room of a dentist.

I looked at three or four photographs of well-loved friends and of grey

London streets, knelt down for a moment by the bed, and went out after a

last long look at the room and the unavailing invitation of the white

sheets. I knew it might be the last time, and I felt quite a coward.

Towards the aerodrome I walked behind the towering line of moonlit

hangars, beyond which I could hear the murmur of the engines

"warming-up." Between two tall sheds I stumbled, and came on to the wide

grassy expanse where stood my machine surrounded by busy mechanics.

The engines opened out with a terrifying burst of noise. I collected my

map-case and my torch, and walked round to the front of the machine. I

faced the two shining discs of the whirling propellers and gingerly

advanced between them to the little rope-ladder which hung from the

small door in the bottom of the machine. Up this ladder I climbed, and

found myself in the little room behind the pilot's seat. I knelt down

and shone my torch on the bomb-handle, the bomb-sight, and on the twelve

fat yellow bombs that hung up inside the machine behind me. Then I

walked forward till I came to the cockpit, where sat the pilot on a

padded armour-plated seat, testing the engines. I let down my hinged

seat beside him, and sat with my feet off the ground. I put away my

pencil and note-book and chocolate, and examined the different taps and

the Very light pistol, and began to adjust the petrol pressure of the

engines, which was indicated by little dials in front of me.

I was about seven feet off the ground now, sitting up in the nose of the

machine, feeling very small and helpless, with the two great propellers

screaming on either side a foot behind me, at 1700 revolutions a minute,

and I felt very much like a lamb going to the slaughter.

Minutes slowly passed. I was itching with impatience. I longed to start

so that I might have something to do to occupy my attention.

The pilot blew a whistle. The pieces of wood in front of the wheels were

pulled away by the mechanics. The pilot's hand went to the throttle,

and we moved slowly across the aerodrome. The front engine roared out,

he turned round and faced the wind, with the lights of the flares behind

us.

On went the engines with a mighty throbbing beat. At once we began to

roll across the ground. Faster and faster we rushed. Below streaked the

flare-lit grass as we swept onward at a fearful speed. The hangars were

just in front of us. I sat, feet off the ground, with my left hand on

the padded edge of the cockpit, nervous and apprehensive.

Then slowly, surely, the machine left the ground and began to move

upwards, and soon cleared the top of the hangars. Below lay the moonlit

sweep of the dim forests, the curving hills and the deep-shadowed

ravines, looking pale and unreal in the ghostly radiance.

In front of us the phosphorescent finger of the height-indicator slowly

crept to 1000 feet. The speed-indicator wavered between 50 and 55 miles

an hour, and the dials which recorded the petrol pressure on the engines

obeyed faithfully my alterations to the little taps at the side.

Above us was the wide expanse of the starlit sky and the cold moon. We

soon found that flying at night was like moving through a dimmer daytime

sky. Though the airman is hidden from the ground, yet below he can see a

detailed panorama, a little more limited in range than that of noonday,

but not much less distinct. This is, of course, on a clear night of

ample moon. On dark and misty nights the change is very much greater. As

we flew on we realised that the task was not going to be so difficult as

we had imagined.

For a time I felt too nervous to look over the side, as I always have

felt, flying by day or night, until the preliminary dread of a wing

falling off which has ever haunted me has grown less poignant. Then I

began to look over the side, and the love of experience and excitement

battled and pressed down the feelings of dread.

Far away on the moon-ward horizon a luminous silver mist veiled the

distant view. Below, the scenery of thin white roads, soft patchwork

forests, little tightly-clustered villages, and the quaint mosaic of

fields, unrolled away from me as we mounted higher on the long wings

whose edges now and then gleamed in the moonlight. Here and there were

the little glowing specks of candles or lamps burning in distant houses,

and some of the twinkling illuminations of the French signals. Far away

in the mist a star-shell gleamed watery white and slowly faded away.

Beneath were the four white flares of the aerodrome and the little space

of lit-up ground with an occasional gleam of light near the long line of

hangars which I could see faintly below me.

Higher and higher we climbed. Every now and then I stood up and shone my

torch on the two engines to read their dials, and to see if they were

giving full power. Towards the north we moved, towards the gleaming

Moselle and the distant star-shells of the lines. Then the French

observer grew restless, and looked over the side, and down at the

compass in his cockpit, and at the timing signal-lights beneath. At

last, when we were eight or nine miles from the lines, he gave his

verdict--the almost inevitable word _Brouillard_. He thought it was too

misty. He stood up and leaned back to the pilot, and shouted his words

of explanation--

"_Trop de brouillard!_ No good! It will be very bad by Metz!"

We turned back disappointed, and drew nearer to the lighted rectangle of

the aerodrome far below. The pilot pulled back his throttle. A sudden

and almost painful silence followed the roar of the engine. In an

agreeable tranquillity after the incessant clamour we had known so long,

we glided downwards towards the queer world of the deep shadows. Slowly,

slowly over the dazzling acetylene flares we floated. The most critical

moment had come: the pilot was going to make his first night landing. I

sat silent and unmoving, my left hand again subconsciously holding the

edge of the machine in readiness. The ground grew imperceptibly nearer.

We were below the level of the sheds. I felt a little vibration quiver

through the machine, and then another. We had touched ground.

We slowed down and drew up near our hangar. I dropped out of the

machine, beneath which the disappointed mechanics were gazing at the

unbroken surface of the brown paper pasted below the bomb-racks, and

walked over to my cabin through a little pine wood. The rose-shaded lamp

still shone softly. As I took off my heavy flying kit I recalled with a

feeling of foolishness my fears and dreads when I had left it, and felt

how wasted my sentiment had been.

Almost the next night we started again. Once more I dressed in the heavy

flying clothes, and collected my maps and impedimenta. Again I bade a

sad farewell, and again sat beside the pilot, feeling weak and frail.

Again we rose up in thunder across the lighted aerodrome towards the

stars.

The world lay before us hard and clear. No white scarves of mist were

flung over the dark woodlands. The horizon lay almost unveiled, and

above was the deep immensity of the night. Here and there across the

country we saw the scattered lights of cottages and the twinkling of the

French guiding stations. To the north were the brilliant star-shells,

and far, far away in the mist glowed dully the little red flame of some

blast-furnace beyond the lines.

As we drew nearer and nearer to Pont-a-Mousson, I felt how the meaning

of the lines had changed. Formerly they had come to be a barrier almost

impassable even by thought. I had felt that this was _our_ side, that

was _theirs_! Long had the trenches lain in the same place in this

area. Now it seemed wonderful to be able to see signs of occupation

beyond the German war-zone. Our intended crossing seemed a sort of

sacrilege, the execution of an act seemingly impossible. I felt as

though I had put out my hand to the moon, and had touched a solid

surface. It was hard to believe that our machine could in a flash change

from the area of one great sweep of nationality and ideas and character

to the other, and could pass unhindered, untouched across that frontier

of death to every living thing upon the ground.

So as I grew nearer and nearer to Pont-a-Mousson and saw a few scattered

lights beyond the star-shells, I began to wonder who sat beside the

light--what German soldier or officer read a despatch or wrote a letter,

in what sort of hut or dug-out. Then the pilot's hands would move with

the wheel, and we would swing round in a circle. Again before us lay the

French signal-lights, and far away the faint glow of our aerodrome.

Then we swung round again towards the north. The Frenchman's arm went

up, and dropped, pointing straight ahead across the star-shells which

rose here and there slowly, white blossoms of light which burst out

into a white dazzling flare, and gradually drooped and faded away.

I sat with my legs dangling, and my hands crossed in my lap, feeling I

had got to take what was coming unprotesting. Defenceless and frail I

seemed as I sat beside my pilot, with nothing for my hands to do--with

no control over the machine or over my destiny. My heart sank lower and

lower ... and then we were right above the lines. In the pool of vague

darkness below I saw the star-shells rising up and lighting a little

circle of ground, and dying away, to be followed by small and spitting

flashes of rifle fire from either side of the lines, where I knew some

wretched soldier lay in No Man's Land, flat in the mud, in fear of his

life.

A few minutes passed, and I began to realise that I was over German

territory. The height indicator recorded 7500 feet. The engines

clamoured evenly, and the speed-indicator registered fifty miles an

hour, showing that we were still climbing steadily. The pilot sat

immobile on my right--his heavy boots firmly on the rudder, his

fur-gloved hands on the black wooden steering-wheel, which scarcely

moved as we flew steadily on. The electric bulb in the cockpit shone on

his determined chin and firm mouth, but his fur-edged goggles hid those

eyes which looked, now forwards to the horizon and to the dark shape of

the Frenchman with his curious helmet in front, now downwards to the

compass and the watch and the instruments of the dashboard. Keen eyes

and ready were they, I knew well, watching everything, noting

everything.

I wondered what lay in his brain, and what were his real feelings as he

steered the enormous machine dead ahead into the hostile territory. My

own fears had begun to leave me a little. I looked round with interest

to see what was going to happen, and began to hum my invariable anthem

of the night-skies, which I have chanted during every raid--the

Cobbler's song from "Chu Chin Chow":--

"I sit and cobble at slippers and shoon

From the rise of sun to the set of moon ..."

Then on my left, a mile or so away, I saw four or five sharp red flashes

whose spots of light died away slowly, like lightning. I felt excited.

They were anti-aircraft shells. They were meant for us. We had been

heard, then, and our presence was realised. I glanced at the pilot, but

he had seen nothing. His face was fixed steadily forwards, so I decided

not to tell him. Now I began to look all over the sky, above, below, and

on either side, looking for shell fire, and trying to pierce the gloom

to see enemy machines. I was on the alert, for I realised that we were

heard though unseen, as we crept like thieves above the land of a people

who wished us ill.

Then ahead of me I became aware of a beautiful sight, which I have never

since seen near the lines--a city in full blaze. There lay a sea of

twinkling, glittering lights with three triangles of arc-lamps round it.

It was Metz and its three railway junctions. I stood up and looked down

on the amazing scene. There lay to our view vivid evidence of German

activity. I could see here and there through the jumble of lights the

straight line of a brilliant boulevard. It seemed strange to think that

down there moved and laughed German soldiers and civilians in the

streets and cafes, all unconscious of the fur-clad airmen moving high

up among the stars in their throbbing machine.

The explanation of the fearless blaze was simple. The Germans in those

days had an agreement with the French that Metz should not be bombed,

and therefore they realised that it would be safer if its lights were

kept on, so that it might not be mistaken for any other place.

Gradually, however, we passed by this city lined in glittering gems,

leaving it a few miles on our right. Ahead of us the intermittent red

glare of scattered blast-furnaces burst occasionally on the dim carpet

of the country, blazing out for a moment and then fading slightly--to

blaze out again before they died away, as the unavoidable _coulees_, or

discharges of molten metal, were being made.

Still there was no apparent opposition. No searchlights moved in the

skies; no shells punctured the darkness. The French observer, who was

responsible for the navigation, looked carefully below and then at his

map. We were evidently drawing near to the blast-furnaces of

Hagendingen. Then he turned round and began to shout instructions. The

pilot could not quite understand what he said, so I assisted him. It

was strange to be arguing in English and French, the three of us, a

mile and a half in the air, fifteen miles beyond the German lines. We

became so interested in our explanations and translations that we forgot

our surroundings altogether.

"Let me talk to him. Qu'est ce que vous desirez dire, monsieur? Ou est

Hagendingen?"

The Frenchman pointed an energetic finger downwards.

"La! La!"

"He says it's just ahead, Jimmy! Shall I get into the back?"

"Just a minute. Monsieur--c'est temps maintenant to drop the---- What's

drop, Bewsh?"

"Laisser tomber! I'll tell him. Est ce ... all right! _You_ tell him,

then! Look at the port pressure. I'll give it a pump!"

So went the conversation high above the earth at night in a hostile sky.

Then I lifted up my seat and crawled to the little room behind, which

vibrated fiercely with the mighty revolutions of the two engines. I

stood on a floor of little strips of wood, in an enclosure whose walls

and roofs were of tightly stretched canvas which chattered and flapped

a little with the rush of wind from the two propellers whirling scarcely

a foot outside. Behind was fitted a round grey petrol-tank, underneath

which hung the twelve yellow bombs.

I lay on my chest under the pilot's seat, and pushed to the right a

little wooden door, which slid away from a rectangular hole in the floor

through which came a swift updraught of wind. Over this space was set a

bomb-sight with its sliding range-bars painted with phosphorescent

paint. On my right, fixed to the side of the machine, was a wooden

handle operating on a metal drum from which ran a cluster of

release-wires to the bombs farther back. It was the bomb-dropping lever,

by means of which I could drop all my bombs at once, or one by one, as I

wished.

The edge of the door framed now a rectangular section of dark country,

on which here and there glowed the intermittent flame of a

blast-furnace. I could not quite identify my objective, so I climbed

forwards to the cockpit and asked the French observer for further

directions. He explained to me, and then suddenly I saw, some way below

the machine, a quick flash, and another, and another--each sending a

momentary glare of light on the machine. I crawled hurriedly back, and

lay down again to get ready to drop my bombs.

Below me now I could see incessant shell-bursts, vicious and brilliant

red spurts of flame. I put my head out of the hole for a moment into the

biting wind, and looked down, and saw that the whole night was

beflowered with these sudden sparks of fire, which appeared silently

like bubbles breaking to the surface of a pond. The Germans were firing

a fierce barrage from a great number of guns. They thought, fortunately

for us, that we were French Breguets, which flew much lower than we did,

so their shells burst several thousand feet beneath us.

I was very excited as I lay face downwards in my heavy flying-clothes on

the floor, with my right hand on the bomb-handle in that little

quivering room whose canvas walls were every now and then lit up by the

flash of a nearer shell. Through the quick sparks of fire I tried to

watch the blast-furnace below. Just in front of me the pilot's thick

flying-boots were planted on the rudder, and occasionally I would pull

one or the other to guide him. The engines thundered. The floor

vibrated. Below the faint glow of the bomb-sights the sweep of country

seemed even darker in contrast with the swift flickering of the barrage,

and here and there I could see the long beam of a searchlight moving to

and fro.

Then I pressed over my lever, and heard a clatter behind. I pressed it

over again and looked back. Many of the bombs had disappeared--a few

remained scattered in different parts of the bomb-rack. I looked down

again, and pressed over my lever twice more,--my heart thumping with

tremendous excitement as I felt the terrific throbbing of power of the

machine and saw the frantic furious bursting of the shells, and realised

in what a thrilling midnight drama of action and force I was acting. I

looked back and saw by the light of my torch that one bomb was still in

the machine. I walked back to the bomb-rack, and saw the arms of the

back gunlayer stretching forwards, trying to reach it. I put my foot on

the top of it and stood up. It slipped suddenly through the bottom and

disappeared.

In a moment I was beside the pilot.

"All gone, Jimmy! Let's be getting back, shall we?"

I leant forward and hit the French observer on the back. When he turned

I asked him what luck we had had. He was encouraging, and said that the

bombs had gone right across the lights of the factory. Below us now

still burst the barrage of shells, whilst one or two stray ones burst

near the machine. From the direction of Briey a strong searchlight swept

across the sky and hesitated near us, and began to wave its cruel arm in

restless search in front of the nose of the machine. As it drew nearer

and nearer my hand tugged the pilot's sleeve a little, with a hint to

turn. He looked down at me and smiled, and carried on. I knew that he

felt no fear, and was less nervous than I was. Little did I guess when I

watched, like a frightened rabbit pursued by a slow hypnotising snake,

that one searchlight moving in the pool of the night skies above Briey,

how I should, later on, steer the machine through a forest of moving

beams over Bruges or Ghent. That solitary searchlight was bad enough,

and was full of the evil cunning which makes searchlights a greater

dread to the night airman than shell fire. To be searched for by

searchlights is ever more demoralising. It is as though you stood in

the corner of a dark room and an evil being with long arms came nearer

and nearer, sweeping those arms across the velvety darkness, and you

knew that there would come a time when they would touch you, and

then....

Past Metz we flew onwards, and the city could no longer be seen. It lay

in darkness, for our bombs had been dropped. Its lights had served to

keep it safe. Now, lest it should be used as a guide, the city had died

like a vision of the brain, and where had lain that filigree of

sparkling diamonds was the unlit gloom.

The shell fire died away and stopped. The white beam of Briey moved

vainly across the sky, darting in one swift swoop across a quarter of

the heavens, and then hanging hungrily in some suspected corner before

it moved onwards again.

I felt supremely confident and at home. I felt I could "dance all

night." I felt that for hours I could go soaring onwards over the

country of the enemy with this triumphant sense of power. Fear had left

me. I was not conscious of being in the air. I sat solidly and at ease

on my little padded seat beside the pilot, whose arm I had

affectionately taken. I peeled the scarlet paper and the silvery

wrappings from the bars of chocolate, and pushed a fragment into his

unresisting mouth. We were three or four miles from the lines, but from

the danger point of view we were as good as across them. I stuck a

photograph behind one of the dials in the cockpit, and it kept on

falling on to the floor so that I had to replace it. I fished out three

or four mascots from my pocket, and stood them up inside the machine. I

began to sing loudly. It was a mild reaction after the strain, which I

had not been conscious of, but which had nevertheless been there.

It was a wonderful feeling to know that the job which I had dreaded was

done, and that I had come through it safely. I wondered what the Germans

thought of that huge load of explosives which had fallen all at once,

for a Handley-Page could drop then about three times more bombs than any

other machine in use on the Western Front. The Gotha, with its smaller

load, had not yet come into action. The Germans must have realised that

it was the beginning of a very unpleasant time for them.

At last the white star-shells rose and fell beneath us, and we left them

behind. Towards Nancy I could see a silver strip of river and a few

twinkling lights. Near it lay the glare of a night landing-ground. Ahead

of us rose coloured rockets from one of the guide positions. On and on

we flew, and then we saw the lights of our own aerodrome far ahead. The

pilot throttled the engines, and we began to glide down through the

darkness to the row of flares. When we were over the rectangle of

illuminated grass we circled down in wide sweeps, and landed gently in a

long glide.

We stopped by the hangars, and the crowd poured round us again. This

time with what delight the eager mechanics saw round the edges of the

bomb-racks only small shreds of brown paper, which showed that the

machine they had tended so well had done its work, and had taken

destruction for them beyond the lines!

With what glow of pleasure I climbed down from the machine, and

arm-in-arm with the engineer officer walked awkwardly though joyfully to

our cabin! The photographs of my friends seemed to smile on me with

genial thanks, and the bed seemed more than ever inviting. We talked,

and talked, and talked. The raid was described a thousand times over as

we drank hot coffee and munched biscuits. Looking backwards, it seems

strange that we should have been so excited after a short raid like

that; but it had been a new thing achieved--an adventure successfully

carried through.

When at last I got back to the cabin alone I began to think of the

effect of my bombs. I pictured the ambulances hurrying down the distant

roads to the hospitals. I thought of the women even then learning the

news of their husband's or son's death. My head was throbbing and aching

with excitement. A mad procession of unending thought went pouring

through it at a headlong pace. I lifted the blind and looked out of the

window to the wet chill dawn. The sickly stars flickered like pale

gaslamps. The dirty moon staggered towards the East, while the West wore

a dingy dressing-gown of crimson and tawdry green. The scenes of the

night were thronging through my imagination. I could picture it all--the

white faces of the dials before us; the pulsing of the engines; the

pressing of the bomb-handle; the clat clatter of the falling bombs; the

waving searchlights; the impetuous flashing of the shells; the ride home

across the dim country; the landing, and the release from fear.

I felt restless and unwell. Again I looked at the humid greasy dawn.

Thoughts of the silly death and destruction and agony beyond Metz came

to me. I got into the white sheets, but they could not cool my throbbing

forehead. My frantically working brain would not let me sleep. I tossed

and turned, and dozed off for a moment, only to find myself once more in

the air--only to see once more the cold electric light shining on my

pilot's fur-gloved hands and set mouth, only to hear the deafening

thunder of the motors--and to wake up again.

So passed a sleepless night. Morning brought to my tired eyes and

tight-drawn skin, to my strained nerves and slack body, no joy or

happiness in life....

Thus was achieved the first raid. I felt anxious for more. I forgot the

fear, and remembered the excitement, as human nature always does. I

wanted to go to Friedrichshafen or Karlsruhe. Night meant at time of

travel. The stars called to me to be up amid their steely glitter,

thundering onwards to some far distant place.

Then came the usual sudden order. Again we had to change our aerodrome.

We were told to return to Luxeuil, whence we were to fly to Dunkerque.

Farewells were said in cold grey Nancy, strange city of the Vosges with

its genial populations, its jolly cafes.

Through a hailstorm we flew to the long-loved aerodrome at Luxeuil. Old

friends were met again, but even in our brief absence it had changed and

many familiar buildings and faces had gone.

I managed to borrow a Curtiss machine and flew alone, very badly, in

order to take my ticket.

The next morning, in spite of the threatening weather, we flew to Paris.

At a height of a thousand feet or less, just under the troubled grey

masses of cloud, we flew on. I followed the country below with anxious

eyes, relying on landmarks to show me the way. I identified each road

and railway and village. I checked by the map each little patch of

forest, each little lake.

Once I was carried away by the chorus of a song which made me dream a

little as I sang. I looked down. There lay the straight road quite in

order as I left it, but alongside appeared a forest which was not marked

on the map. I became worried. I knew that once I had lost the way I

would be badly adrift.

Just in time I discovered that I had passed a fork in the road as I sang

to myself, and we had not turned as we should have done. Thereafter I

kept my eyes on the alert, till finally we reached the outskirts of

Paris.

When we were low over the roofs near Villacoublay I happened to look at

the height-indicator. To my surprise it registered zero. I gave the

pilot a violent nudge and pointed it out to him. Then I realised that

the aerodrome at Luxeuil, on which the indicator had been adjusted, was

several hundred feet above sea-level, and that, now we were over lower

country, our height might be registered as nothing, when in reality we

were a few hundred feet above the roofs.

If there had been a mist we might have been in a difficulty, as our

height-indicator would have been useless. We would not have had the

good fortune of an airman who on one occasion got overtaken by a thick

mist in England and wished to land. He knew the country was flat, so he

glided down into the mist very gently, and when the height-indicator was

just above zero he climbed out of the machine and sat on the edge. He

saw the finger of the dial actually touch the zero mark, and jumped....

So accurate was the instrument that he was not hurt. He was flung down a

bank, and was badly shaken up, but was no worse for it. The amazing part

of it was that the aeroplane, a very stable machine, landed itself

correctly and was found in a field a little farther ahead without a wire

broken.

We landed at Villacoublay, and rushed into Paris by car to spend a gay

glittering evening in the capital. We were up early next day, and

motored out to Villaconblay, and were soon on our way to Dunkerque.

A little past Boulogne the low-drifting clouds were left behind, and we

flew into glorious April weather. On the left, to my great joy, was the

sea and the surf-lined sweep of the coast. Below was the patchwork of

fields and meadows, whose colours were so soft in the sunlight that the

country looked like a carpet of suede leather dyed with many a rich

shade of cream and brown and purple and dull green, in oblong

patternings. Across this lovely mosaic ran straight roads which linked

up the compact little towns. Here and there lay a canal like a bar of

steel, blue and slender.

The machine moved forward with an absolute steadiness. The pilot took

his hands off the wheel, glad to rest himself after the terrific bumping

we had been enduring under the clouds since we left Paris. The engines

droned contentedly. The burly engineer P.O. in front looked downwards

with delight at the sunny plain which moved towards us with such a

stately and even progress. Flying became really comfortable for once,

and very monotonous.

Calais passed. Gravelines, with its starfish fortifications, moved by on

our left-hand side. Dunkerque lay ahead. I began to look for the

aerodrome. I had not been told exactly where it was. I knew it was

between Dunkerque and Bergues, near the canal. Nearer and nearer to

Dunkerque and its line of docks and its ramparts we drew. Still I could

not find the aerodrome. The pilot grew impatient. Then I saw in the air

ahead of us the familiar form of a twin-engined machine. It was another

Handley-Page. It swept downwards in wide curves. I looked below it and

saw, by a wide field, a few brown hangars in front of which stood other

machines.

The noises of the engines ended. We drifted down and landed. We were met

by an officer with a megaphone, who gave us very curt instructions as to

where the machine was to stop. We expected to be greeted as heroic

travellers, so this abrupt welcome rather surprised us. When we

disembarked, however, we found that several Handley-Pages were coming

back from a daylight patrol off the coast to Zeebrugge and back. I

caught the edge of my pilot's eye and knew he was wondering as I

was--what nasty new business was this?

We went into the mess, very tired after our long journey by air from one

end of the lines to the other, and while we were sitting at the table a

heavy-booted and furred observer came in with very bright eyes and said

to the C.O. of the station--

"Rather good luck, sir! We saw a couple of destroyers ten miles north of

Zeebrugge. Dropped our bombs on them. Direct hit on one! Seemed to be

sinking when I left!"

The C.O. was delighted, and as the observer left the room I felt what a

fine spirit of adventure there was in flying when a man could land out

of the skies so flushed with achievement. He had sunk a destroyer in the

enemy's waters. What a splendid conquest for one man! I felt near the

sea again. I felt proud of my naval uniform. I felt glad I was in the

Naval Air Service. A breath of the sea swept through the room, which

drove away all the sad memories of rather bitter days far, far away near

the Vosges.

That night I walked alone under a haggard moon down a treeless road that

wound beside a canal. The wind sighed across the flat ploughed fields.

Towards Ypres I saw the incessant flash and flicker of artillery fire.

For a moment I stood looking to the north-east, towards the lines.

Then would it have been fitting to have seen, as a fantastic prelude to

my fantastic nights, what I often saw later from Dunkerque--a

glittering string of emerald green balls rise slowly up in the

profundity of the night, to droop over and hang awhile in the blue

velvet of the night skies before they died away.