"To know, to esteem, to love, and then to _part_,
Makes up life's tale to many a feeling heart."
A short time after our marriage Mr. Arms was offered a contract to
superintend the construction of a mill at Woodbine, Iowa, which it seemed
best for him to accept; and finding there were no comfortable
accommodations for a lady in that place, he left me in a boarding house in
Chicago, with Hattie for a companion. It was indeed hard for us to part so
soon, and the pang was rendered more bitter by the fact of his impaired
health, for he had never entirely recovered from the effects of the
malarial fever contracted in a miasmatic district in Indiana.
After his departure time hung so heavily upon my hands, my present
aimless, carefree life being in such striking contrast to the activity and
excitement of travel, that I secretly resolved, as separation was
inevitable, to resume my old life, and thus be of assistance to my
husband. Unknown to him I wrote to my publishers for a fresh supply of
books, and started for Michigan, the State which held within its
boundaries the first scenes of sorrow my young life had known, when, amid
helpless and hopeless hours of persecution, my girlhood seemed rayless and
forsaken, but when kind friends had come in the hour of need, and helpful
hands had lifted me from the dark depths. From there I wrote to Mr. Arms,
communicating to him my intention to travel. He sent me a touching reply,
saying he had never intended me to battle with the outside world again,
but, if I deemed it best, it was perhaps well.
I had cherished a desire to visit the place in which I lived with the
family of Ruthven, for then I could look above and beyond the clouds of
early days, and discern the many golden gleams and rosy rays, the many
halcyon hours of happiness and hope. So, after the spirit has passed
through the purifying fires of persecution, it can calmly look back with
a triumphant soul song. But these old scenes were in places so remote and
inaccessible that I was forced to forego the pleasure of visiting them;
but in many other places I found the old familiar landmarks gone, and the
transformations of time had placed in their stead forms and faces new and
strange.