[Mr. LESLIE STEPHEN, speaking at Toynbee Hall the other day,
stated that the members of the Athenæum had deserted the classics for
the pages of _Punch_ and the latest French novel.]
SCENE--_The Library of a well-known Club, where are
discovered a few Bishops, Judges, M.P.'s, and other persons
"distinguished in literature or art."_
_Academician_ (_chuckling over_ MARCEL PRÉVOST'S _latest
audacity, to_ M.P., _who is puzzling out the "Journal du prince" in_
DAUDET'S "_La Petite Paroisse_"). I say, old man, lend me your
pocket dictionary for a moment, will you?
_M.P._ Certainly; only it doesn't give half the words. (_Sighs,
aside._) Why didn't I learn more French at Eton! These _moeurs
conjugales_ beat me every now and then at the most interesting point!
_A Professor of Metaphysics_ (_who has concealed_ J. H.
ROSNY'S _"Renouveau" behind a file of the "Times," and is sitting
on_ LAVEDAN'S _"Les Marionettes," to himself_). I really
cannot go home till I have cleared up the relations between _Chagny_
and _Madame d'Argonne!_
_A Judge_ (_caught reading "Le Mariage de Chiffon" by a Bishop,
apologetically_). Ah, I find my French gets rusty without systematic
daily practice. Why, would you believe it, I found yesterday I had
forgotten what _en goguettes_ meant!
_Bishop._ Ahem, I believe it is a synonym for _en ribote_, with
nearly the vulgar connotation of _gris_ or _soul_--tipsy, you know!
(_Hastily, to_ Waiter, _aware that he has displayed a rather too close
acquaintance with Gallic slang_.) Kindly fetch me to-day's number of
_Punch_.
_Waiter._ They are all engaged, my Lord.
_Bishop._ Then let me look at last week's issue again.
_Head Master of Public School_ (_dubiously_). Dare I be seen with
_Madame Chrysanthème?_ (_Noticing that all the quiet corners are
occupied with students of French literature._) No--another time!
_Leading Novelist._ Here's LESLIE STEPHEN been betraying us!
He says, what is only too true, that we've abandoned the standard
authors, including myself, for _Punch!_
_Cabinet Minister_ (_as a deus ex machinâ_). Well, _Mr. Punch_
IS a classic. To read him is a liberal education!
[_They do so, with a general sigh of relief._
* * * * *