_(Everyone has views as to how to win the War, but not all are vocal,
or--shall we say?--vociferous. If Mr. LLOYD GEORGE reads all the papers
(as their Editors of course expect him to do) he cannot have missed
quite a number of powerful articles in the following manner. And even if
he should miss one or two it would not matter, because there is always
another in preparation.)_
I've always said that the PREMIER shouldn't be bothered with Parliament.
Of course I've said too that our old friend Demos, the new god, should
have a say in affairs; but that's an inconsistency that doesn't count in
the least, does it?
Now then, Mr. PREMIER, you've got the chance of your lifetime. I always
said you were a lucky devil--in fact, I never met the Welshman that
wasn't.
You see, Parliament's in recess, and all its trivial overpaid Members
are playing golf and things. You've got absolutely a free hand if only
you'll take it. It's quite easy and bound to succeed. You've only got to
do as I tell you.
For instance, you want to buck up HAIG and the people at the Front. It's
no use them telling you they know best, being on the spot. That's only
bluff, old man. Don't take any notice of them, but just order a big
general offensive; and before you can say Jack Robinson we'll have the
Huns behind the Rhine.
And do tell the Navy to get a move on. I'm glad to see my articles have
made you change the heads at the Admiralty; and of course that's all
very well so far as it goes. But it doesn't go far enough. _Have a chat
with BEATTY about it._ Get him to root the Huns out. He can bombard
Ostend and Zeebrugge and all those funny little places in two-twos. Tell
KING ALBERT not to mind. We'll easily slap up new towns for him after
the War, built on the speedy American principle.
Then about that aerial offensive. There's really been quite enough talk
about it. We want some action, Mr. PREMIER. Isn't it time it came off?
Think what a bombardment of Cologne (taking care of the cathedral, _of
course_), Frankfurt, Berlin, Essen and Hamburg would do, not to mention
other places that I could if I had an atlas.
And about those pacifists. Just clap the whole lot in gaol. That's the
best place for them. I won't object in the least, even though I am the
apostle of freedom.
Then there are lots and lots of other things you might do. You might
deliver a reasoned manifesto to the Russian people and buck them up a
bit. That won't do anybody any harm, and _it'll be getting on with the
War_, my little Welshman.
Well, there are a few points for you to go on with. You've got the
brains to think of more, otherwise I wouldn't have helped to put you
where you are to-day. But remember that if you _don't_ do these things
Demos is waiting round the corner for you.
Demos is a good dog--a patient animal. But there's an end even to his
patience. Growl, Demos, and show you're not afraid of Welshmen!
("Grrr----!" Good dog! Good dog!)