The story is an extract from Oliver Goldsmith's famous novel, _The
Vicar of Wakefield_. In this book Goldsmith describes the fortunes
of the family of Doctor Primrose, a Church of England clergyman of
the middle of the eighteenth century. The novel is considered a
most faithful picture of English country life in that period.
The home I had come to as [v]vicar was in a little neighborhood
consisting of farmers who tilled their own grounds and were equal
strangers to [v]opulence and poverty. As they had almost all the
conveniences of life within themselves, they seldom visited towns or
cities in search of [v]superfluity. Remote from the polite, they still
retained the [v]primeval simplicity of manners; and, frugal by habit,
they scarce knew that temperance was a virtue. They wrought with
cheerfulness on days of labor, but observed festivals as intervals of
idleness and pleasure. They kept up the Christmas carol, sent love-knots
on Valentine morning, ate pancakes on [v]Shrovetide, showed their wit on
the first of April, and religiously cracked nuts on [v]Michaelmas-eve.
Being apprised of our approach, the whole neighborhood came out to meet
their minister, dressed in their finest clothes and preceded by a
[v]pipe and [v]tabor: a feast, also, was provided for our reception, at
which we sat cheerfully down, and what the conversation wanted in wit
was made up in laughter.
Our little habitation was situated at the foot of a sloping hill,
sheltered with a beautiful underwood behind, and a prattling river
before; on one side a meadow, on the other a green. My farm consisted of
about twenty acres of excellent land. Nothing could exceed the neatness
of my little enclosures, the elms and hedgerows appearing with
inexpressible beauty. My house consisted of but one story, and was
covered with [v]thatch, which gave it an air of great snugness; the
walls on the inside were nicely whitewashed, and my daughters undertook
to adorn them with pictures of their own designing. Though the same room
served us for parlor and kitchen, that only made it the warmer. Besides,
as it was kept with the utmost neatness,--the dishes, plates and coppers
being well scoured and all disposed in bright rows on the shelves--the
eye was agreeably relieved and did not want richer furniture. There were
three other apartments: one for my wife and me; another for our two
daughters within our own; and the third, with two beds, for the rest of
the children.
The little republic to which I gave laws was regulated in the following
manner: by sunrise we all assembled in our common apartment, the fire
being previously kindled by the servant. After we had saluted each other
with proper ceremony--for I always thought fit to keep up some
mechanical forms of good breeding, without which freedom ever destroys
friendship--we all bent in gratitude to that Being who gave us another
day. This duty performed, my son and I went to pursue our usual industry
abroad, while my wife and daughters employed themselves in providing
breakfast, which was always ready at a certain time. I allowed half an
hour for this meal, and an hour for dinner, which time was taken up in
innocent mirth between my wife and daughters, and in [v]philosophical
arguments between my son and me.
As we rose with the sun, so we never pursued our labors after it was
gone down, but returned home to the expecting family, where smiling
looks, a neat hearth, and a pleasant fire were prepared for our
reception. Nor were we without guests; sometimes Farmer Flamborough, our
talkative neighbor, and often a blind piper, would pay us a visit and
taste our gooseberry wine, for the making of which we had lost neither
the recipe nor the reputation. These harmless people had several ways of
being good company; while one played, the other would sing some soothing
ballad--"Johnny Armstrong's Last Good-Night," or "The Cruelty of Barbara
Allen." The night was concluded in the manner we began the morning, my
youngest boys being appointed to read the lessons of the day; and he
that read loudest, distinctest and best was to have an halfpenny on
Sunday to put into the poor-box. This encouraged in them a wholesome
rivalry to do good.
When Sunday came, it was, indeed, a day of finery, which all my
[v]sumptuary edicts could not restrain. How well soever I fancied my
lectures against pride had conquered the vanity of my daughters, yet I
still found them secretly attached to all their former finery; they
still loved laces, ribbons, and bugles, and my wife herself retained a
passion for her crimson [v]paduasoy, because I formerly happened to say
it became her.
The first Sunday, in particular, their behavior served to mortify me. I
had desired my girls the preceding night to be dressed early the next
day, for I always loved to be at church a good while before the rest of
the congregation. They punctually obeyed my directions; but when we were
to assemble in the morning at breakfast, down came my wife and
daughters, dressed out in all their former splendor--their hair
plastered up with [v]pomatum, their faces [v]patched to taste, their
trains bundled up in a heap behind and rustling at every motion. I could
not help smiling at their vanity, particularly that of my wife, from
whom I expected more discretion. In this [v]exigence, therefore, my only
resource was to order my son, with an important air, to call our coach.
The girls were amazed at the command, but I repeated it, with more
solemnity than before.
"Surely, you jest!" cried my wife. "We can walk perfectly well; we want
no coach to carry us now."
"You mistake, child," returned I; "we do want a coach, for if we walk
to church in this trim, the very children in the parish will hoot after
us."
"Indeed!" replied my wife. "I always imagined that my Charles was fond
of seeing his children neat and handsome about him."
"You may be as neat as you please," interrupted I, "and I shall love you
the better for it; but all this is not neatness, but frippery. These
rufflings and pinkings and patchings will only make us hated by all the
wives of our neighbors. No, my children," continued I, more gravely,
"those gowns must be altered into something of a plainer cut, for finery
is very unbecoming in us who want the means of [v]decency."
This remonstrance had the proper effect. They went with great composure,
that very instant, to change their dress; and the next day I had the
satisfaction of finding my daughters, at their own request, employed in
cutting up their trains into Sunday waist-coats for Dick and Bill, the
two little ones; and, what was still more satisfactory, the gowns seemed
improved by this [v]curtailing.
But the reformation lasted but for a short while. My wife and daughters
were visited by the wives of some of the richer neighbors and by a
squire who lived near by, on whom they set more store than on the plain
farmers' wives who were nearer us in worldly station. I now began to
find that all my long and painful lectures upon temperance, simplicity,
and contentment were entirely disregarded. Some distinctions lately
paid us by our betters awakened that pride which I had laid asleep, but
not removed. Our windows again, as formerly, were filled with washes for
the neck and face. The sun was dreaded as an enemy to the skin without
doors and the fire as a spoiler of the complexion within. My wife
observed that rising too early would hurt her daughters' eyes, that
working after dinner would redden their noses, and she convinced me that
the hands never looked so white as when they did nothing.
Instead, therefore, of finishing George's shirts, we now had the girls
new-modeling their old gauzes. The poor Miss Flamboroughs, their former
gay companions, were cast off as mean acquaintance, and the whole
conversation ran upon high life and high-lived company, with pictures,
taste, and Shakespeare.
But we could have borne all this, had not a fortune-telling gypsy come
to raise us into perfect [v]sublimity. The tawny [v]sibyl no sooner
appeared than my girls came running to me for a shilling apiece to cross
her hand with silver. To say the truth, I was tired of being always
wise, and could not help gratifying their request, because I loved to
see them happy. I gave each of them a shilling; after they had been
closeted up with the fortune-teller for some time, I knew by their
looks, upon their returning, that they had been promised something
great.
"Well, my girls, how have you sped? Tell me, Livy, has the
fortune-teller given thee a penny-worth?"
"She positively declared that I am to be married to a squire in less
than a twelvemonth."
"Well, now, Sophy, my child," said I, "and what sort of husband are you
to have?"
"I am to have a lord soon after my sister has married the squire," she
replied.
"How," cried I, "is that all you are to have for your two shillings?
Only a lord and a squire for two shillings! You fools, I could have
promised you a prince and a [v]nabob for half the money."
This curiosity of theirs, however, was attended with very serious
effects. We now began to think ourselves designed by the stars to
something exalted, and already anticipated our future grandeur.
In this agreeable time my wife had the most lucky dreams in the world,
which she took care to tell us every morning, with great solemnity and
exactness. It was one night a coffin and cross-bones, the sign of an
approaching wedding; at another time she imagined her daughters' pockets
filled with farthings, a certain sign they would shortly be stuffed with
gold. The girls themselves had their omens. They saw rings in the
candle, purses bounced from the fire, and love-knots lurked in the
bottom of every teacup.
Toward the end of the week we received a card from two town ladies, in
which, with their compliments, they hoped to see our family at church
the Sunday following. All Saturday morning I could perceive, in
consequence of this, my wife and daughters in close conference together,
and now and then glancing at me with looks that betrayed a [v]latent
plot. To be sincere, I had strong suspicions that some absurd proposal
was preparing for appearing with splendor the next day. In the evening
they began their operations in a very regular manner, and my wife
undertook to conduct the siege. After tea, when I seemed in fine
spirits, she began thus:
"I fancy, Charles, my dear, we shall have a great deal of good company
at our church to-morrow."
"Perhaps we may, my dear," returned I, "though you need be under no
uneasiness about that; you shall have a sermon, whether there be or
not."
"That is what I expect," returned she; "but I think, my dear, we ought
to appear there as decently as possible, for who knows what may happen?"
"Your precautions," replied I, "are highly commendable. A decent
behavior and appearance in church is what charms me. We should be devout
and humble, cheerful and serene."
"Yes," cried she, "I know that; but I mean we should go there in as
proper a manner as possible; not like the scrubs about us."
"You are quite right, my dear," returned I, "and I was going to make the
same proposal. The proper manner of going is to go as early as
possible, to have time for meditation before the sermon begins."
"Phoo! Charles," interrupted she, "all that is very true, but not what I
would be at. I mean, we should go there [v]genteelly. You know the
church is two miles off, and I protest I don't like to see my daughters
trudging up to their pew all blowzed and red with walking, and looking
for all the world as if they had been winners at a [v]smock race. Now,
my dear, my proposal is this: there are our two plough-horses, the colt
that has been in our family these nine years and his companion,
Blackberry, that has scarce done an earthly thing for this month past.
They are both grown fat and lazy. Why should they not do something as
well as we? And let me tell you, when Moses has trimmed them a little,
they will cut a very tolerable figure."
To this proposal I objected that walking would be twenty times more
genteel than such a paltry conveyance, as Blackberry was wall-eyed, and
the colt wanted a tail; that they had never been broken to the rein, but
had an hundred vicious tricks, and that we had but one saddle and
[v]pillion in the whole house. All these objections, however, were
overruled, so that I was obliged to comply.
The next morning I perceived them not a little busy in collecting such
materials as might be necessary for the expedition; but as I found it
would be a business of time, I walked on to the church before, and they
promised speedily to follow. I waited near an hour in the reading desk
for their arrival; but not finding them come as I expected, I was
obliged to begin, and went through the service, not without some
uneasiness at finding them absent.
This was increased when all was finished, and no appearance of the
family. I therefore walked back by the horseway, which was five miles
round, though the footway was but two; and when I had got about half-way
home, I perceived the procession marching slowly forward toward the
church--my son, my wife, and the two little ones exalted on one horse,
and my two daughters upon the other. It was then very near dinner-time.
I demanded the cause of their delay, but I soon found, by their looks,
that they had met with a thousand misfortunes on the road. The horses
had, at first, refused to move from the door, till a neighbor was kind
enough to beat them forward for about two hundred yards with his cudgel.
Next, the straps of my wife's pillion broke down, and they were obliged
to stop to repair them before they could proceed. After that, one of the
horses took it into his head to stand still, and neither blows nor
entreaties could prevail with him to proceed. They were just recovering
from this dismal situation when I found them; but, perceiving everything
safe, I own their mortification did not much displease me, as it gave
me many opportunities of future triumph, and would teach my daughters
more humility.