The mind of each sex has some natural kind of bias, which constitutes a
distinction of character, and the happiness of both depends, in a great
measure, on the preservation and observance of this distinction. For
where would be the superior pleasure and satisfaction resulting from
mixed conversation, if this difference was abolished?
If the qualities of both were invariably and exactly the same, no
benefit or entertainment would arise from the tedious and insipid
uniformity of such an intercourse; whereas considerable are the
advantages reaped from a select society of both sexes.
The rough angles and asperities of male manners are imperceptibly filed
and gradually worn smooth, by the polishing of female conversation, and
the refining of female taste: while the ideas of women acquire strength
and solidity by their associating with sensible, intelligent, and
judicious men.
* * * * *
* * * *
The
_WANDERINGS_
of the
IMAGINATION.
_BY MRS. GOOCH._
(Continued from page 347.)
Captain S---- had married in early youth the woman of his heart. Her
fortune was very small; nor did he possess any other independance than
that which arose from his commission. He was allied to many noble
families, and had received an education more suitable to his connections
than his expectations. His Lady was not in any respect his equal; she
was the only child of a poor, but honest, curate in Wales, where she
became acquainted with the Captain, at that time an Ensign in a marching
regiment, quartered at Glamorgan: he saw, became enamoured, and married
her. They lived with economy and comfort about five years, in which time
she bore him a son. This event seemed to operate in their favour, as a
distant relation of his mother’s, whom he had hitherto known only by
name, wrote to him on hearing of it, and in consequence of the good
character which had answered his enquiries, he had deposited in the
hands of Mess. Cox and Greenwood a sufficient sum of money, to enable
him to purchase a company on the first occasion that might offer.
Our young adventurer no sooner received this unexpected letter, than he
solicited and obtained leave of absence, and hastened to London, when he
immediately waited on the gentlemen above-mentioned; and hearing that
the commission was prepared for him, and that the money deposited in
their hands exceeded by some hundreds it’s purchase, he resolved on
joining his company without delay. Little time was required to settle
his affairs: he wrote to Mrs. S----, and to his father, strongly
recommending to the latter those dear relatives he committed to his
protection; and inclosing bills to nearly the whole amount of the money
which remained in his hands, he soon after embarked in the first ship to
join the new regiment to which he belonged, and which was at that time
stationed in Jamaica.
Imagine not, gentle reader, that Captain S---- thus quitted all he held
dear without a pang. His heart was the receptacle of the surest feelings
of humanity; and if he avoided taking a long, perhaps a last, farewell,
it was order to avoid the too powerful temptation of a change in his
resolution. He figured to himself the tears and intreaties of an
affectionate wife, the winning smiles of an infant boy: and to their
future welfare he gladly sacrificed every selfish idea of present
felicity. These reflections accompanied him throughout a long and
perilous voyage, which was at last completed without any material
occurrence.
It was during his short stay in London that I met with him. The recent
kindness of his kinsman had proved a sure passport into the houses of
his other relations. He procured from them all not only a general
invitation during his stay there, but many flattering letters of
recommendation to the principal families and military men whither he was
going. His person was uncommonly graceful, and the bright glow of
prosperity beaming on his fine open countenance, indicated the native
honesty that warmed his heart. I was at that time not more than fifteen;
Captain S---- about four-and-twenty. Such an object was well calculated
to awaken the feelings of artless sensibility. Young and romantic as I
then was, I could imagine no higher delight than that of marrying
Captain S----, and following his fate “beyond unknown seas.” Alas!
I knew not that he was already the betrothed partner of a more fortunate
fair; and when, on his discovering what I found it difficult to conceal,
he candidly revealed to me his situation, I could only offer up sighs
and tears at his departure, which wore away _almost soon after_ the
object which had created them disappeared.
* * * * *
_THIRD WANDERING._
The next morning I was punctual to my appointment; but waited above an
hour before I perceived Captain S----. At length he came, and made no
secret to me of what had detained him. He informed me, that having gone
on the preceding day to Lord G--------’s he could with difficulty gain
admission into the hall; where, after having been for some time insulted
by the enquiring looks, and questions, of several impertinent footmen,
he seemed likely to remain; not one of them, though assured he waited on
his Lordship by his own appointment, appearing willing to stir from
their chairs to announce him. He continued there some time; during which
he had the mortification to see several of his old acquaintance alight
from their carriages, and pass, without deigning to look towards him. He
patiently waited the return of these great people, and then repeated his
request of a moment’s audience, which was answered by a desire that he
would call again the next morning, at the same hour.
He went, and sound orders to admit him. Lord G----, with that tone of
authority which superior fortune always gives so the supercilious,
however polished, and to the ungenerous, however courtly, reproached him
in very acrimonious terms with having suddenly thrown up his commission,
at a time when promotion was becoming general, and his country
particularly demanded his services.
Stung to the heart at a reproof, which while he knew to be severe, he
felt to be just, he alledged, in excuse, what to a delicate mind would
have been an all-powerful one. His _wife_--her _situation_: Lord G----
interrupted him, by telling him that all such feelings should be
sacrificed to self-interest. He then rang his bell, called for his
carriage, and putting a solitary guinea into the hands of Captain S----,
cast reflections on this conduct, that were as galling as unmerited, and
wishing him good morning, rid himself of a visitor, whose reduced
circumstances were his only mark of inferiority.
I was less surprised than Captain S---- at the conduct of Lord G----;
and after making some comments, naturally arising from the transaction,
I prevailed on him to accompany me home, and to relate to me his
narrative, which he did in the following words.
“I was received in Jamaica with much kindness by my brother officers;
and my letters procured me many distinguished attentions from the
principal families there. My intercourse with many gay young men, and
the life of amusement (not to say dissipation) which I led, might, in a
heart less tender than mine, have dispelled the gloom that had hung over
me since my departure from England. But I did not find it so; my mind
perpetually wandered over the past scenes of domestic delight; and my
heart inwardly sighed, as I reflected on the expanse of ocean that
divided me far from them. My wife was young, and ignorant of the world;
and though the letters which she wrote me were filled with love, and
regret, I suffered myself to dread a change in her affections, and gave
way to the most dismal forebodings, which, instead of being diminished,
were augmented by time.
“A captain in our regiment, whose name was _Nesbitt_, was on the point
of returning on leave of absence to England. The death of his mother had
put him in possession of considerable property, and it was necessary
that he should settle his affairs. My heart prompted me to make
particular overtures of intimacy to Captain Nesbitt, that I might
influence him to see, and give me a particular account of my family. At
that time too, I had unfortunately lost to him a sum of money at play;
which, though not very considerable, was more than I could command,
previous to his departure. On my mentioning it to him, he treated it
lightly, and assured me he had not at that time any occasion for it.
I received from him the most consolatory promises, and we parted with
all the reciprocal good wishes that can be supposed to arise from a
concluded friendship, and an assurance that I should hear from him
frequently on the subject which alone interested my heart.
“Captain Nesbitt was punctual to his word; he wrote me an account of his
safe arrival in London, and that he was going to pass five or six weeks
with a party of his friends at Swansea, from whence he should make it
his first business to wait on Mrs. S----. The next ship brought me a
packet from herself, in which she mentioned having seen him, and at a
time when a visit from a friend of mine was particularly welcome, as she
had just lost her father, and retired to a small farm-house near
Glamorgan, till she should hear from me in what manner she should
dispose of herself. She solicited my permission to join me in Jamaica,
and that I would negociate her voyage with one of the first returning
Captains, that he might settle in my name for every suitable
accommodation. This was the project I ardently sighed for, but I wished
it to come from herself; and the silence I had observed on it during her
father’s lifetime, being no longer necessary, I answered her in the
effusions of a heart filled with love and gratitude, and gave, as she
desired, all proper directions to forward her approaching departure.
“Nothing but witnessing her safe arrival, could convey such transport to
my mind, as seeing the ship get under weigh, that bore my letter, and
was charged with the commission to bring her once more to my arms.
I watched the wind and weather with anxiety, and in idea followed the
vessel to her destined port. I passed the intervening time in fondly
anticipating the arrival of the welcome stranger, and in preparing every
thing for her reception.
“I had particularly attached myself to a Black, of the name of _Scipio_.
He was the servant of a gentleman whom I visited, who bought him in his
infancy, and treated him more as a favoured inmate, than a slave. Scipio
was possessed of a noble mind, and a heart susceptible of affection, and
gratitude. He loved his master, and lamented the destiny of those of his
countrymen who were less fortunate than himself. Often would he wonder
why they were so; comparing their labours with his own, and
acknowledging their superiority. I frequently observed him to follow me
at a distance in those hours when, oppressed by thought, I sought the
plantain’s friendly shade, and shunned the converse of mankind; and oft
would sorrow overspread his sable countenance while he watched me, as if
fearful of my destruction.
“I was one day ruminating on my situation, anticipating the pleasure,
yet at the same time dreading the frustration of _all_ my hopes, when
Scipio ran eagerly towards me, and announced the approach of a ship from
England. I climbed the highest point, as if to bring her nearer to me.
It was too soon for me to expect my wife; all I could hope was a letter
from her, and to that I looked with eager joy, as from the shore I
espied the gaily painted vessel, gliding gently over the smooth surface
of the deep, as the welcome harbinger of peace. With a palpitating heart
I hailed her, as she majestically came towards us, but the flattering
dream soon vanished, as I heard her pronounced to be from _Bristol_.
“The keen edge of expectation was quickly blunted by the stroke of
disappointment; yet was the selfish idea soon restrained by the
surrounding multitude, as I observed the busy countenances near me, and
reflected that the disappointment of _my_ hopes might be the completion
of _theirs_. I was inwardly vexed that I had suffered myself, like a
child, to be hurried away by my passions, the ardour of which had proved
so constantly fatal to my peace.
“In a few weeks, several ships from different ports arrived, but none
that brought tidings to me. The only account I heard from England, in
which I could be interested, was a letter received by Lord G---- from
Captain Nesbitt, inclosing the resignation of his commission, for
reasons which he did not assign.”
(To be continued.)
* * * * *