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In considering the instability of the ties that bind individuals in
unison and communion with each other, I cannot but lament the disgrace
which some miscreants have brought upon themselves by wilfully abusing
and burying in oblivion the origin of all happiness, and at the same
time profess themselves advocates for, and supporters of, the genuine
principles of Friendship; under the mask of which, they deceive and
render unhappy the honest and unsuspecting part of the community. A few
remarks on this important subject may not be unwelcome to the reader.
The words _parodox_, _problem_, &c. are never misrepresented; whereas
others, such as _honour_, _reputation_, _friendship_, &c. are scarcely
ever quoted, unless to be misapplied.
The words _friendship_ and _friend_, are used, indeed, in such a variety
of senses, all different, that it is almost impossible to recognize the
genuine features of that old-fashioned thing called Friendship among
such a group of unaccountables. A spendthrift, after various attempts to
borrow money, complains, with a sigh, that he has not a _friend_ left in
the world; and another, who has not quite reached this period, talks,
with some pleasure, of meeting a dozen or two of _friends_ to dine at a
tavern.--Benjamin Bribewell, Esq. invites his friends to meet at a
public hall, and proceed from thence _in a body!_ and Captain Swagger,
who has accepted a challenge, requests a brother officer to go out with
him as his _friend_, and see that he be _fairly_ run through the body.
A highwayman who quarrels with his accomplices concerning the
distribution of the booty, wonders that there should be any bickering
among _friends_. Nor is it very uncommon that two who always own a
friendship for each other, after cutting and bruising one another until
they can scarcely stand, are separated by their _friends_--nay, what is
more remarkable, they sometimes shake hands, and agree to part
_friends!_
Such are the common ideas of Friendship; and if such is the only
Friendship men expect to contract, surely they have little reason to
complain if they should be disappointed. After having prostituted the
_name_, how can they expect the substance? After having dreamt only of
the _sign_, how can they expect the thing signified? If we consider how
those connexions which are called Friendships are formed, we shall the
less wonder that they are unstable with most men: it is sufficient to
have been twice or thrice in each others company, they become thereafter
_friends_, and we are not to be surprised, if what is formed so hastily,
should be as hastily dissolved. Houses that are thrown up quickly, and
while the materials are green and unseasoned, cannot be expected to last
long.
There are, on the other hand, some persons who entertain a notion of
Friendship so very celestial and romantic, as is not to be expected from
the frailty of human nature: They mistake the nature of a _friend_ just
as much as those of whom I have been speaking. They expect _every_ thing
from a friend, and in this are as much in fault as those who expected
_any_ thing. Romantic notions of Friendship are much cherished in novels
and sentimental writings, but their tendency is often fatal, and at all
times pernicious. A very short intercourse with the world of men,
convinces them that they have been reading of ideal beings, and their
tempers are apt to be soured; in consequence of which, they entertain
worse perceptions of men than they deserve.
There are two kinds of men who are strangers to true Friendship,
although they may attain the habit, and appear in outward profession to
be sincere; and these are the profane and ignorant, or the immoral.
Those who are unsuspecting may anticipate great satisfaction and delight
by the outward concessions of the designing friend, but they will sooner
or later find, by awful experience, that they have misplaced their
sincere regard, and in retaliation for their good offices, receive
nothing but impious insults and all the injuries that their depraved
_friend_ can inflict.
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