A wild young fellow was going abroad: His mother took him up into her
closet, telling him she had a precious treasure to deposit in his hands,
and after many grave admonitions produced the Bible, handsomely bound in
two volumes; and, to crown all, advised him to consult and search the
scriptures. Little did the youth know how precious the volumes were; but
you shall hear. On his return from sea, the old lady one day took him
aside, and hoped he had remembered the last injunction she had given
him: “Yes, he could very honestly say he had taken care of the Bible.”
To prove his respect and obedience, he runs up stairs to his own room,
and returns instantly, with the two volumes safe and sound.
The good lady pulls off one cover: “Rather too clean, my dear.”
“O madam, I took great care of them: the second volume is equally fair.”
She shakes her head; intimating her suspicions that they had not been
read so often as she wished: Then opens the first volume, and, lo! a ten
pound bank note is found: the second volume displays a second note, and
of twice the value. She was confounded; and so was her son: And I know
no man, of my acquaintance, who more sincerely regrets that he did not
_search the scriptures_.
* * * * *
A man having hurt his forehead, was advised to rub it with brandy. Some
days after being asked if he had done so? answered, “I have tried
several times, but can never get the glass higher than my mouth.”
* * * * *
* * * *
_From an ENGLISH MAGAZINE._
* * *
ORIGIN OF THE SPENCER.
Being a Sequel to the Story of the Bottle-Conjuror.
On my arrival in town for the season, my eyes every where in the streets
encountered a phenomenon which I could not account for: namely, men
walking in great coats, the TAILS of which were CUT OFF close to the
body!--The first person I met in this garb being rather of a mean
appearance otherwise, I set it down to the account of convenience, and
recollected the proverb of, _half a loaf being better than no bread_.
But when I saw numbers of gentlemen decorated with this ABRIDGMENT of a
coat, many of whom to my personal knowledge, could afford a whole coat,
once a week if they chose, I was totally at a loss to account for the
grotesque appearance they made. Surely, thought I, this cannot be
voluntary.
On consulting, however, a friend, who always resides in the metropolis
and is a close observer of modes and manners, he solved all my doubts.
“That absurd dress, which does not surprise you more than any other
stranger, is a wonderful proof of the obsequious servility of those who
would be thought _in the fashion_. Lord C. Spencer, from whom the dress
takes its name, bet with some friends that he would support a fashion,
the most useless and ridiculous that could be conceived; and that it
should, within a given time, be universally adopted. The bet being laid
he produced a pattern of this fashion, which excited so much laughter,
that his opponents were pretty confident he would lose his bet. Lord
C.’s opinion of mankind, was, however, better founded. The fashion soon
became general, and, to complete the _humbug_, the wearers of this _half
coat_ have found out a thousand conveniencies and advantages in it, such
as saving of cloth, impossibility of being draggled, easier put on, &c.
not one of which the author ever thought of. Such is the origin of the
Spencers! I need not remind you that the bottle-conjuror affair was
likewise a wager, to see what lengths credulity would lead the public,
and the present fashion is no bad Second Part to that memorable
take in.”
Are these things so, Mr. Editor? Are we really such fools as to adopt a
dress, the chief merit of which is its being ridiculous, and injurious
to trade? All I shall say is, Quis vult decipi decipitur!
Your’s,