IRONICAL INSTRUCTION TO LOUNGERS.

Such gentlemen as carry small canes, in modish language termed _canees_,

ought to put them in a horizontal position under their right arm taking

especial care that the ferule end, which must be carried behind them, be

sufficiently dirty. This, with a jirk in the gait, and a frequent whisk,

as if to look about them, will prevent that crowd of busy people, who

infest the public streets, from pressing too close.

If a short man carry an umbrella, let him lift it no higher, than the

eyes of the overgrown monsters, among the passengers of the street. By

this expedient, he will prevent their coming so near, as to splash him;

at least, if they do, it will be at the hazard of loss of sight.

Such gentlemen, as write their letters in a coffee-house, should

endeavour to procure two or three of the newspapers of the day, to put

under their paper. This will prevent the table soiling their letter, or

their ruffle; as to the impatience of those who wait for news, that is

not the business of a gentleman to inquire about.

If a Coffee-room be crowded, endeavour to fix yourself at the corner of

a table, in such a manner, that you prevent any one passing you to get

seated on any other part of the bench; or, if that cannot conveniently

be done, put one, or both of your legs, at full length upon the seat,

lean back, whistle, or pick your teeth. This will show your consequence.

If you walk the streets, always wear boots and spurs, especially in the

summer months, when the ways are clean. I say _spurs_, because it is

three to one, but they catch the apron or petticoat of some woman, who

is passing you; if she be young and handsome, you may make a low bow,

and ask her pardon, in a _degagee_ way, which may give birth to an

agreeable connexion. Observe the same rule, when you go to the

play-house; besides, if your boots be sufficiently dirty, you prevent

people incommoding you, by crowding a box seat.

Whenever you call a hackney coach, order the driver to stop his horses,

as near as possible to the foot-way. This will naturally occasion a

number of people to stop, and give you an opportunity, of showing your

person or a new coat, made in the _ton_.

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_For the +New-York Weekly Magazine+._

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