Nothing is so capable of diminishing self-love as the observation, that
we disapprove at one time what we approve at another.
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THE VICTIM OF MAGICAL DELUSION;
_OR, INTERESTING MEMOIRS OF MIGUEL, DUKE DE CA*I*A._
Unfolding Many Curious Unknown Historical Facts.
_Translated from the German of Tschink._
(Continued from page 163.)
His resentment against the new King remained however rankling in his
heart; he did homage to the Sovereign with visible satisfaction, and, as
I suspect, not without secret reservation, while I swore to him the oath
of allegiance, in hopes that I should soon renew it to the lawful King,
who was still concealed. My country now was delivered from the Span--sh
yoke, but my heart remained in the thraldom of love. The fetters which
it was chained with were, indeed, nothing but garlands, but nevertheless
stronger than bonds of adamant; how was it therefore to be expected,
that I should have been inclined and capable to obey my father, who
wanted me to break them? This bondage was so sweet to me, and my sharing
it with an adored woman, rendered it dearer to me than the most
unbounded liberty; it was my sole and most ardent wish to tie the bonds
by which we were united still faster. But alas! my father desired me not
to mention a syllable of a union with Amelia, and without his sanction I
durst not expect her consent! The Marquis of Ferei*a exhausted in vain
all his eloquence in order to melt the flinty heart of my inexorable
parent. In that wretched situation I sent several times for Alumbrado’s
assistance, yet I always shrunk back at the idea of owing any obligation
to that man. His first visit confirmed the remarks of the Marquis, and
all the civilities he lavished upon me, served only to strengthen my
antipathy against him. My soul was as gloomy as my exterior situation.
The view of my heaven was overdarkened by clouds which grew darker and
darker. Only one star was glimmering through the blackness of that
dismal night; one single star to which I could direct my weeping eyes.
I was confident that the Irishman could be no stranger to my comfortless
situation, and would aid me by his power, imagining that he now had the
best opportunity of rewarding my reliance in him, and would undoubtedly
conduct me over insurmountable obstacles to the promised land of
happiness. Meanwhile the time when my father expected my declaration for
the Princess of L*** was approaching with gigantic strides, and the
Irishman did not appear. Anxiety struggled with my hope. I enquired
every where for my protector, but I enquired in vain, and my anxiety
increased to black despair.
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