A gentleman who possessed a much larger quantity of nose, than nature
usually bestows upon an individual, contrived to make it more enormous
by his invincible attachment to the bottle, which also beset it with
emeralds and rubies. To add to his misfortunes, this honest toper’s face
was somewhat disfigured by not having a regular pair of eyes; one being
black, and the other of a reddish hue. A person happening once to
observe, that his eyes were not _fellows_, congratulated him on that
circumstance. The rosy gilled old tipler demanded the reason. “Because,”
replied the jocular genius, “if your eyes had been _matches_, your nose
would certainly have set them in a flame, and a dreadful conflagration
might have been apprehended.”
* * * * *
* * * *
_Account of the COURTSHIP and MARRIAGE
of the celebrated DR. SAMUEL JOHNSON._
Johnson had from his early youth, been sensible to the influence of
female charms. When at Stourbridge school, he was much enamoured of
Olivia Lloyd, a young quaker, to whom he wrote a copy of verses, which I
have not been able to recover; and I am assured by Miss Seward, that he
conceived a tender passion for Miss Lucy Porter, daughter of the lady
whom he afterwards married. Miss Porter was sent very young on a visit
to Litchfield, where Johnson had frequent opportunities of seeing and
admiring her; and he addressed to her the following verses, on her
presenting him with a nosegay of myrtle:
“What hopes, what terrors does this gift create,
“Ambiguous emblem of uncertain fate:
“Thy myrtle, ensign of supreme command,
“Consign’d by Venus to Melissa’s hand;
“Not less capricious than a reigning fair,
“Now grants, and now rejects a lover’s prayer.
“In myrtle shades oft sings the happy swain,
“In myrtle shades despairing ghosts complain;
“The myrtle crowns the happy lovers’ heads,
“Th’ unhappy lovers’ grave the myrtle spreads:
“O then the meaning of thy gift impart,
“And ease the throbbings of an anxious heart!
“Soon must this bough, as you shall fix his doom,
“Adorn Philander’s head, or grace his tomb.”
His juvenile attachments to the fair sex were, however, very transient;
and it is certain, that he formed no criminal connection whatsoever. Mr.
Hector, who lived with him in his younger days in the utmost intimacy
and social freedom, has assured me, that even at that ardent season his
conduct was strictly virtuous in that respect; and that though he loved
to exhilarate himself with wine, he never knew him intoxicated but once.
In a man whose religious education has secured from licentious
indulgences, the passion of love, when once it has seized him, is
exceedingly strong; being unimpaired by dissipation, and totally
concentrated in one object. This was experienced by Johnson, when he
became the fervent admirer of Mrs. Porter, after her first husband’s
death. Miss Porter told me, that when he was first introduced to her
mother, his appearance was very forbidding: he was then lean and lank,
so that his immense structure of bones was hideously striking to the
eye, and the scars of the scrophula were deeply visible. He also wore
his hair, which was straight and stiff, and separated behind; and he
often had, seemingly, convulsive starts and odd gesticulations, which
tended to excite at once surprise and ridicule. Mrs. Porter was so much
engaged by his conversation that she overlooked all these external
disadvantages, and said to her daughter, “this is the most sensible man
I ever saw in my life.”
Though Mrs. Porter was double the age of Johnson, and her person and
manner, as described to me by the late Mr. Garrick, were by no means
pleasing to others, she must have had a superiority of understanding and
talents, as she certainly inspired him with a more than ordinary
passion; and she having signified her willingness to accept of his hand,
he went to Litchfield to ask his mother’s consent to the marriage, which
he could not but be conscious was a very imprudent scheme, both on
account of their disparity of years, and her want of fortune. But Mrs.
Johnson knew too well the ardour of her son’s temper, and was too tender
a parent to oppose his inclinations.
I know not for what reason the marriage ceremony was not performed at
Birmingham; but a resolution was taken that it should be at Derby, for
which place the bride and bridegroom set out on horseback, I suppose in
very good humour. But though Mr. Topham Beauclerk used archly to mention
Johnson’s having told him, with much gravity, “Sir, it was a
love-marriage on both sides,” I have had from my illustrious friend the
following curious account of their journey to church upon the nuptial
morn. “Sir, she had read the old romances, and had got into her head the
fantastical notion that a woman of spirit should use her lover like a
dog. So, Sir, at first she told me that I rode too fast, and she could
not keep up with me; and, when I rode a little slower, she passed me,
and complained that I lagged behind. I was not to be made the slave of
caprice; and I resolved to begin as I meant to end. I therefore pushed
on briskly, ’till I was fairly out of her sight. The road lay between
two hedges, so I was sure she could not miss it; and I contrived that
the should soon come up with me. When she did, I observed her to be in
tears.”
This, it must be allowed, was a singular beginning of connubial
felicity; but there is no doubt that Johnson, though he thus shewed a
manly firmness, proved a most affectionate and indulgent husband to the
last moment of Mrs. Johnson’s life; and in his “Prayers and
Meditations,” we find very remarkable evidence that his regard and
fondness for her never ceased, even after her death.
[[Sources:
Both articles about Johnson are taken from Boswell’s _Life of
Johnson_.
Notes: Johnson’s wife is called “double the age of Johnson”. They
were born in 1689 and 1709 respectively, met in 1732 and married
in 1735.]]
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