_Off to Ireland!_--At last. COLLINGS with me, of course:--rather
grumpy, because SALISBURY'S got the credit of passing the Allotments
Bill, instead of himself. Still, JESSE better than nobody. Would
create bad impression to visit Belfast without an _entourage_.
_In Steamer._--Look up my Irish History--or rather, JESSE'S Irish
History, which he's borrowed from Birmingham Free Library. An Alderman
_can_ do that sort of thing. Also examine revolver. Not accustomed to
carrying one. What is the best place for it? JESSE says, "left-hand
coat-tail pocket, decidedly, because then you can whip it out in
a twinkling." JESSE'S confidence contagious--he talks as if he
had always been in the habit of "whipping-out" revolvers, like a
cow-boy,--or a "three-acres-and-a-cow-boy." Do as he advises.
Very uncomfortable feeling. Sit down on revolver in a moment of
forgetfulness, and nearly blow Captain's head off. Captain irritated.
Asks me for "ransom." Ridiculous!
_Belfast._--No end of a reception. Drive through the principal
streets. Enthusiastic populace insist on taking horses out of carriage
and pulling it themselves. Gratifying, but should feel safer with the
horses. Why _will_ COLLINGS bow? I'm the person to bow, obviously.
Bad taste, but don't like to stop him. Believe the mob _take_ him for
me--or why do they cheer him so?
_At Hotel._--Just found out reason of enthusiasm evoked by appearance
of JESSE. _He's got on an Orange tie!_ Ask him, reproachfully, why
he did this? Pretends it was a mere accident--forgot that orange was
favourite Ulster colour. Don't want a religious riot, so make him take
it off. JESSE getting grumpier. Can't help it.
_Evening._--Before going to meeting, had better find out what
Belfast chiefly famous for. Ask COLLINGS. Replies "linen-shirts and
handkerchiefs." Try to put him in good humour by remarking that "_he_
seems shirty." Is there no other historical fact connected with place?
"Yes," he replies, "visit of Lord RANDOLPH CHURCHILL." Wish he hadn't
mentioned latter event. Dispiriting. Reminds one of proposed National
Party, with self and RANDOLPH as sole leaders--and sole followers,
too, it seems.
_At Hotel--after Speech._--Great success. Felt horribly inclined to
start another Home Rule plan--my fifth--but fortunately refrained.
Instead of dismemberment of Empire, I offered more Members to Ulster.
Ulster people saw the justice of this arrangement at once. Told 'em
there were "two Irelands." Isn't one Ireland enough, however?
_Coleraine._--A triumphal arch, with "Welcome to English Peasant
Emancipators" on it. Stupid to bracket COLLINGS with me in this way.
Receive threatening letter. Reminds me of my revolver. JESSE examines
it with the air of a professional gunsmith, critically. Appears quite
hurt at its condition; says, "I've sat on it so often he doubts if it
would go off now," and recommends my carrying a "bowie-knife" instead.
Am surprised at JESSE'S acquaintance with deadly weapons. Ask him what
historical event took place at Coleraine. Says he doesn't know and
doesn't care. But what's he here for except to keep me posted up in
local details? Hint to him that "I hope I may be able to offer him
post of President of Local Government Board in my future Ministry."
Replies (rudely, I think) that "he'll wait till I'm asked to form
one." _Query_--doesn't air of Ulster exercise demoralising effect on
English politicians? Is this the "Ulster Custom" one's heard so much
about? RANDOLPH a case in point.
_Back again._--Coleraine speech excellent, though I say it, as
shouldn't. Cheered to the echo. So was JESSE, hang him! Shan't take
_him_ to Canada with me. Now for a study of the habits of deep-sea
fish in the pages of a Natural Science Primer.
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