(_Being a correction of "A Ballad of the Early Worm," "Punch," October
6th_).
OH ye whose hearts were rent with pain
A few short weeks ago,
Is it unkind to harp again
Upon that tale of woe?
You know the tale--in _Punch_, I mean--
Pathetic every word;
Three wormlets fought to stand between
Pa and the Early Bird.
You sorrowed for their non-success
(By use of triple strength
They saved their father's life--ah yes--
But not his total length).
You thought, of course--I know you did--
That Father left his hole,
A briskly virtuous annelid,
To take an early stroll.
Well, now just go and read a book
Called _Vegetable Mould
And Earthworms_ (DARWIN); if you look
You'll find that you've been sold.
It's not my own, it's DARWIN'S firm
Authority I cite:
_There never is an early worm;
Pa had been out all night._
He swaggered forth at eventide
And stayed till dawn next day;
For I will not attempt to hide
That _worms behave that way._
So pious folk like you and me
Should not be filled with woe
At thought of Father's tragedy;
_His morals were so low._
* * * * *
Our Courtly Contemporaries.
"The Earl of Athlone walked away on foot, as is the simple way of
our Royal Family." _Sunday Paper._
* * * * *
"High-backed chair of Tudor period, about
1660."--_Advt. in Daily Paper._
We don't question its genuineness, but infer that it has been subjected
to Restoration.
* * * * *
"Furnished House, consisting of dining, drawing, eight breakfast
rooms, etc." _Sunday Paper._
Would suit a large family inclined to be short-tempered in the morning.
* * * * *
[Illustration: A TOO-FREE COUNTRY.