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ALSO BY MAX O'RELL
Crown 8vo., cloth, 3s. 6d.
BETWEEN OURSELVES
'He deserves to be a favourite. His genial familiarity is its own
passport; he entertains you to a peripatetic feast of humour and good
advice.... In short, he is good company, meet him where you will....
Open his new book, "Between Ourselves," at random, and you will find
upon every page something shrewd, reflective, and good-natured. Half
the petty problems that go to make up life are here discussed with ease
and witty garrulity.... Beneath the mask of Max O'Rell's witticism
there is an honest face of experience and common-sense. He even helps
the thoughtless to think a little for himself!'--_Daily Chronicle._
'Truly, Max is a pleasant companion.'--_Morning Leader._
'Max O'Rell is always bright, and he is a pretty keen critic of life.
His book is full of good things, and will be read with profit, even if
in nothing but amusement.'--_Daily Telegraph._
'Everybody must read Max O'Rell's latest, "Between Ourselves." He has
so many wise things to say about many things, and such an irresistibly
charming way of saying them all, that it is difficult to put down this
latest offspring of his.'--_Black and White._
'The keen observation, genial wit, and engaging frankness which combine
to render Max O'Rell one of the most acceptable of social philosophers
have been given an unusually wide field of exercise in the diverting
pages of "Between Ourselves," wherein "some of the little problems of
life"--in point of fact, a good many of them--are discussed with
characteristic humour and point in the author's familiar and always
entertaining style.... Invariably amusing.'--_World._
'One of the most entertaining volumes one could wish to read.... The
book is full of witty and brilliant sayings, so much so that many of
his quaint and pleasant assertions are likely to pass into proverbs....
Always interesting and amusing, sometimes satirical, and never dull,
the author tells us much that the thoughtful may ponder with
advantage.'--_Birmingham Post._
'Extremely readable.... The little chapters are morsels of crisp
common-sense, flavoured with light cynicism, and free from
sermonizing.'--_Daily Mail._
'"Some of the little problems of life" discussed with all the airy
lightness to which we are accustomed from the author, and seasoned by
his usual undeniable truth.'--_Chic._
'Max O'Rell's philosophy has a gay winsomeness all its own. The joy of
living, the beauty of the world, the delights of unselfishness, these
are the themes upon which Max O'Rell, delicious satirist and 'cutest of
observers, discourses. Penetrative sagacity and merry irresponsibility
mingle in a frolicsome way.'--_Literary World._
'It is perhaps not quite up to the high level of "Her Royal Highness
Woman," but will please the large public which delights, with reason,
in all that comes from the pen of Max O'Rell.... On his own ground, in
chaffing the people of this country on their weak points, he is
inimitable.'--_Athenaeum._
'A worthy addition to an already long list.... Altogether, the reader
will find in "Between Ourselves" abundant entertainment, together with
not a little practical wisdom.'--_Daily News._
'Expressed in Max O'Rell's witty and entertaining way. One great merit
of the book is that you can open it at any chance page and make sure of
getting amusement.... He is a close observer of human nature, and has a
witty and trenchant way of expressing himself.'--_Queen._
'There is cheery optimism in every line, and to tired, weary souls it
comes as something of a tonic.'--_Military Mail._
'Witty, amusing, and even instructive.... Few men observe with such
keenness, describe with such fidelity, and write with such sustained
good humour as Max O'Rell. He is a capital exponent of that light,
epigrammatic, and witty style which is essentially Gallic. The book can
be heartily recommended to those who enjoy that sort of literature, and
they are legion.'--_Empire._
'Bright, breezy, and entertaining, as usual.'--_To-day._
'Open the book where you will, something pleasant and readable will be
found.'--_Glasgow Herald._
'Shrewd, humorous talk.... These entertaining pages.... Well, there is
the book, with a red girl on its green cover, and a deal of pleasant
beckoning in its many chapters and myriad paragraphs.'--_Academy._
'This delightfully entertaining volume.... There are few types of men
and women, few phases of life and character, which escape his shrewd
perception, and of everyone he gossips in the airiest, wittiest
fashion.... "Between Ourselves" is charming.'--_Lady's Pictorial._
'Max O'Rell is a true humourist, a clever satirist, and an entirely
human man.... This last work is certain to be as popular as "Her Royal
Highness Woman."'--_Western Mail._
'There is a large amount of wisdom in its pages and much
amusement.'--_Week's Survey._
LONDON: CHATTO & WINDUS, 111 ST. MARTIN'S LANE, W.C.
ALSO BY MAX O'RELL
Crown 8vo., cloth, 3s. 6d.
RAMBLES IN WOMANLAND
'Max O'Rell has in this volume given us another entertaining and
delightful dissertation upon woman and her kind. What Max O'Rell does
not know about the sex to which he has not the honour to belong is
hardly worth knowing.'--_St. James's Gazette._
'It is too late in the day to dwell upon the features of style which
render the work of Max O'Rell such easy and agreeable reading, and it
is unnecessary to illustrate his pretty gift of phrase-making. He has
gained his own place among popular authors, and offers no sign of
vacating it.'--_Pall Mall Gazette._
'We hardly know whether to recommend the book to our readers or not.
They will not put it down, once begun--that is certain.'--_Spectator._
'Max O'Rell, in his new book, expresses in his own peculiar and
entertaining way many witty, satirical, and humorous ideas on the
subject of the "eternal woman."'--_Daily Express._
'Max O'Rell is always entertaining, and provokes friendly discussion as
readily as any writer I know. His new book contains many aphorisms, and
some of them are very good.'--_British Weekly._
'Max O'Rell supplies, not for the first time, a delightful mixture of
commonplace and common-sense.'--_Daily Chronicle._
'We have no doubt a great many people will enjoy the book, and the
enjoyment will be innocent and wholesome.'--_Academy._
'Max O'Rell's chaff is excellent, and all in perfect good
taste.'--_Pelican._
'The genial author takes up the cudgels on behalf of the better-looking
sex in a way which should make his book tremendously popular with lady
readers--especially the married ones.... A very entertaining
book.'--_Golden Penny._
'Contains some delightful reading.... It is a book happy in idea,
felicitous in expression, cynically frank and refreshing in its
candour.'--_Gossip._
'Another collection of amusing and epigrammatic essays.... Max O'Rell,
as everyone knows, has the gift of discoursing fluently and amusingly
on any subject on which he touches, and to English and American people
his good humoured criticisms are particularly valuable, as they are not
only sound and sane in themselves, but they are written from an outside
standpoint.'--_Morning Leader._
'Women will not feel sorry that Max O'Rell's last work should be his
new book on the fair sex. For many a year he has helped us with his
gentle raillery, cheered us with his bright humour, and taught us much.
"Rambles in Womanland" contains many little personal reminiscences and
revelations, and its author's wit is undimmed. The book is full of
epigrams, bons mots, and piquant criticisms.'--_Gentlewoman._
'Max O'Rell's last book will add to the regret that his genial pen will
write no more. Usually there is a tone of gaiety in what he says, but
at all times he discusses important problems with all seriousness, and
with not a little of the wisdom with which a wide knowledge of the
world had endowed him. Max O'Rell's writings have always been notable
for witty epigrammatic sentences.... His last work is a bright and
engaging book.'--_Daily Telegraph._
'With a pretty wit and a turn for epigram this writer can scarcely be
dull, and no one will turn to one or other of these chatty chapters
without being pleasantly entertained.'--_Scotsman._
'Liveliness, amiability, charm, honourable sentiment, humour, every
quality that the best kind of French culture produces, are open to
anyone who can read English in the pages of Max O'Rell. Every page of
these "Rambles" is sprinkled over with aphorisms.... This most
entertaining book.'--_Vanity Fair._
'There is much that is entertaining in these short pithy comments on
women's characteristics, and occasionally criticism that penetrates
deep beneath the surface, and reveals a vast amount of observation and
knowledge of the world.... The book is full of smart sayings and clever
aphorisms.'--_Publishers' Circular._
'Whatever his theme, he is always bright, and the coruscations of his
wit are exceedingly diverting.... This last contribution is full of
good things, placed in an amusing setting.... These are but a few
maxims culled from a crowded garden.... This wonderful little
volume.'--_Echo._
'"Rambles in Womanland" has between its covers much wisdom, served up
with a pretty garnish of wit and that wholesome sauce--common-sense.
Indeed, Max O'Rell has written nothing better than--in fact, nothing so
good as--"Rambles in Womanland." Here we have his riper wisdom, his
fuller experience; but while he has gained in wisdom or experience, he
has not lost his spiciness or his power of brief, terse
epigram.'--_Black and White._
'Full of sparkling common-sense.'--_T. P.'s Weekly._
'There is enough fresh material to commend these "Rambles in Womanland"
to those who have enjoyed rambling through the author's entertaining
writings.'--_Morning Post._
LONDON: CHATTO & WINDUS, 111 ST. MARTIN'S LANE, W.C.
HER ROYAL HIGHNESS WOMAN
OPINIONS OF THE PRESS ON HER ROYAL HIGHNESS WOMAN
'A delightfully amusing companion.... Max O'Rell is a keen observer,
has genuine humour, and as a writer he is very amusing, because he
refuses to take anything seriously.'--_Punch._
'In "Her Royal Highness Woman" Max O'Rell is, as you might expect, at
his best and brightest.'--_Truth._
'It is, indeed, an amusing volume.... Most of what he says about woman
is true enough, and wittily expressed.'--_Times._
'The only Max has given us a treat in this book of selections from his
best and most interesting sketches. His quaint, subtle humour seasons
the light reading to a nicety, and we have not been provided with such
neat comedy for some long time.'--_Northern Weekly._
'Wise and witty.'--_To-day._
'Max O'Rell has never written anything better.'--_Morning Post._
'The book is so tactful that it ought to insure Max O'Rell a still
greater popularity than he already enjoys.... It is a wholesome book
for both husbands and wives to read.... It is as full as ever of the
author's contagious good spirits and merry wit.... The whole 250 pages
... reads like the best of after-dinner speeches.'--_Queen._
'Max O'Rell is talking very pleasantly, scattering seeds of wisdom in
the sun. It is well that the book should be as superficially wise and
witty as we find it.'--_Academy._
'Have you read "Her Royal Highness Woman"? If not, you have something
still to live for.'--_Western Mercury._
'This delightful volume, we have no hesitation in saying it, will teach
each class "how to be happy though married."... A remarkably fresh and
personal study of the "eternal feminine."'--_Birmingham Post._
'Never has Max O'Rell been more delightful than in his new
book--delightful in his sense and in his nonsense, though Max O'Rell's
nonsense has so much of sound reason in it that it is often worth more
than other folks' solemnity.... It is good from the first taste to the
finish.'--_Weekly Dispatch._
'A book which "Her Royal Highness" should by all means
read.'--_Outlook._
'What Max O'Rell knows not about women you may depend she does not know
herself. It is a pleasure to find a book to which one can give such
unstinted praise.'--_Books of To-day._
'The book teems with brilliant passages and witty sayings, all of them
full of good sense and wisdom.... Altogether, this is a delightful book
to dip into.'--_Court Circular._
'He is witty and humorous, with a genial wisdom which is not seldom
epigrammatic. His playfulness is delightful.'--_Leeds Mercury._
'Woman, the problem of the ages, is an open book to Max O'Rell....
What Max O'Rell knows not, in his cheery French way, is not
knowledge.'--_St. James's Gazette._
'A witty and laughable collection of good things in favour of
matrimony.... Full of matter for readers who can enjoy a good
laugh.'--_Scotsman._
'The fearlessness of the genial author of "John Bull and his Island" is
as well known and liked as his wit; and both of them are pleasantly
exemplified in his latest and most broadly universal book.'--_Pall
Mall Gazette._
'Always entertaining, often epigrammatic, not seldom instructive, Max
O'Rell's studies form a volume destined, beyond a doubt, to figure
largely as the topic of drawing-room conversation throughout the coming
season.'--_Literary World._
'Mr. Max O'Rell is always amusing, and sometimes almost instructive....
He is nothing if not a diplomatist, but he is something more--he is the
keenest of observers.'--_Lady's Pictorial._
'A handbook to matrimony. In his witty and wise remarks Max O'Rell
deserves a prominent place among his compatriots in the study of
women.... A bright and amusing book, with a good deal of common-sense
in it.'--_Daily Telegraph._
'Max O'Rell has written many excellent books, but never a better than
"Her Royal Highness Woman."'--_Athenaeum._
'Delicious. I wish I had space to find out a few other plums from Max
O'Rell's amusing study ... shrewd and true.'--_Free Lance._
'Should be in the hands of every woman.'--_Le Temps._
'Humorous and amusing--yes; but withal one of the most complete and
profound studies ever published on woman and love.'--_La Republique._
LONDON: CHATTO & WINDUS, 111, ST. MARTIN'S LANE, W.C.
HER ROYAL HIGHNESS
WOMAN
By
MAX O'RELL
AUTHOR OF
'JOHN BULL AND HIS ISLAND,' 'JONATHAN AND HIS CONTINENT,'
'WOMAN AND ARTIST,' ETC.
FIFTEENTH THOUSAND
LONDON
CHATTO & WINDUS
1903
I DEDICATE
THIS VOLUME
TO
'THE NICEST LITTLE WOMAN IN THE WORLD'
(CHAPTER XXXI.)
PREFACE
'MONSIEUR, MADAME, ET BEBE,' that most delightful, untranslatable book
of the late Gustave Droz, by its genial and humorous philosophy and its
pretty pictures of matrimonial life, by its healthy teachings and its
piquant, poetic illustrations, has taught to thousands of French people
how to make their married lives happier and more cheerful.
This unpretentious little volume of mine, which appears simultaneously
in Paris, London, and New York, will not have been written in vain if
it causes one married couple in each of the three great countries where
it is published to study and understand each other better.
I dedicate it to married men and women, and to young men and women
contemplating matrimony--a large public indeed.
MAX O'RELL.
P.S.--Did I hear you ask whether I have been married?
Oh yes, that's all right.
M. O'R
_April, 1901._
CONTENTS
PAGE
CHAPTER I
THE ETERNAL FEMININE
What do we know about women?--Generalities on the subject--I am
requested to speak on some subject I know something about 1
CHAPTER II
WOMAN'S INFLUENCE FOR GOOD AND EVIL
A woman at the beginning--The first love-story--Different
versions--'Cherchez la femme'--The influence of woman on national
characteristics 6
CHAPTER III
MAXIMS FOR THE MAN IN LOVE
How to deal with your girl--Avoid catching colds in your head--
How women with humour can be saved 10
CHAPTER IV
ADVICE TO THE MAN WHO WANTS TO MARRY
What should attract him in matrimony--At what age should people
get married?--Be superior to your wife in everything 14
CHAPTER V
ON THE SELECTION OF LIFE PARTNERS
Be as careful in choosing your partners as you would in choosing
your ancestors--Count your change before entering, as mistakes
cannot be recognised afterwards 18
CHAPTER VI
MAXIMS FOR THE MARRIED MAN
Keep your wife in order--How to deal with her (confidential) 22
CHAPTER VII
MAXIMS FOR THE MARRIED WOMAN
A wife should follow and obey her husband, especially follow him
--Feed the brute 29
CHAPTER VIII
THE GENTLE ART OF RULING A HUSBAND
The rule of women over men is the survival of the fittest 33
CHAPTER IX
ART IN LOVE
Pleasure and happiness--_Love_ is the poetry of the senses--The
artistic temperament--The instrument and the instrumentalist--The
defence of monogamy on artistic principles--Polygamy _versus_
monotony 38
CHAPTER X
SORE TRIALS FOR PEOPLE IN LOVE--WILL LOVE TRIUMPH OVER THE AFFLICTIONS
OF THE BODY?
A pathetic story--Could you whisper words of love through an
ear-trumpet?--The case presented on the stage--Take care of the
woman you love 43
CHAPTER XI
MAN VERSUS WOMAN IN LOVE
How many times can a man and a woman love?--They love differently
--A delicate question--'Lucky dog!'--The inexorability of the
virtuous woman 47
CHAPTER XII
COURTING IN FRANCE AND ENGLAND
Kneeling and sitting--The piquancy of French courting--The use of
the second person singular--The sealing kiss 51
CHAPTER XIII
THE WOMAN-HATER
Should a woman marry a woman-hater?--The portrait of a woman-hater
--The risk a woman runs in marrying a woman-lover--Take your chance,
don't cast your pearls before swine 55
CHAPTER XIV
WHAT DO WOMEN ADMIRE MOST IN MEN?
People generally admire in others the qualities they do not themselves
possess--The sexes differ in their opinions of infidelity and its
causes--The eleventh commandment: Never confess 59
CHAPTER XV
CAN GRATITUDE ENGENDER LOVE?
Expecting gratitude is asking for the price of a service--Love keeps
out of it 64
CHAPTER XVI
DOES MARRIAGE HELP A MAN?
In social life--In commercial life--In literary and artistic life--
Matrimony is a highly respectable institution 68
CHAPTER XVII
THE GOOSE AND THE GANDER
The case for man, the defendant--Freemasonry between women--Which
is right?--Influence of plumage--The female bird--Man is not
invariably wrong--'What is good for the goose is good for the
gander'--But there is a difference between the goose and the
gander 74
CHAPTER XVIII
DOES JEALOUSY COME FROM TRUE LOVE?
The different kinds of girls that men seek in matrimony--Jealousy
is intensified, not created, by love--Why should not a married man
continue to admire women?--I want to knock down a newly-married
woman's husband--'Who would "polyg" with him?' 80
CHAPTER XIX
DO WOMEN DRESS TO PLEASE MEN?
The female attire--Women dress for breakfast and undress for
dinner--You don't know them from Eve--Society likes to be exposed
--How French, English, German and American women dress--Simplicity
in dress the coquetry of some women--What would happen if two
women remained alone on the face of the earth 85
CHAPTER XX
THE FRENCH WIFE
Her keenness and common-sense--Her power of observation and her
native adaptability--Her graceful ways--Her tact--Her artistic
refinement--Monsieur et Madame-'Did I hear you knock at my door,
dear?' 90
CHAPTER XXI
THE ENGLISH WIFE
Her position--Family life less attractive and piquant in England
than in France, but more solid--The English wife is the goddess of
a beautiful home 94
CHAPTER XXII
THE BRITISH MATRON
The English woman the most charming of women--The British the
most ridiculous one--English and British--The British matron is
the produce of British soil--Her ways--Her fads and inconsistency
--Her knowledge of French literature and her judgment thereof 98
CHAPTER XXIII
THE AMERICAN WOMAN--I
A new coat-of-arms for America--The American woman--Her ways--
The liberty she enjoys--'Oh, please make me an American woman!' 103
CHAPTER XXIV
THE AMERICAN WOMAN-II
She walks first, Jonathan behind her--The educational system of
America explains the idiosyncrasies of the American woman 108
CHAPTER XXV
THE AMERICAN WOMAN--III
Opinions and impressions--An answer to criticism. 113
CHAPTER XXVI
THE HUSBAND OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN
The telephone and the ticker--The most useful of domestic animals
--Money-making--Loneliness of the women--A reminiscence of
Chicago 117
CHAPTER XXVII
PETTICOAT GOVERNMENT
Description of all the Anglo-Saxon fads 122
CHAPTER XXVIII
THE LIBERTY OF ANGLO-SAXON WOMEN
The mistakes made by foreigners--Misconstructions--Educational
systems--Girls do not lose their charm by independence 135
CHAPTER XXIX
ENGLISH AND AMERICAN WOMEN HAVE NO LOVE TO SPARE FOR ONE ANOTHER
England and America are two branches of a family who once quarrelled
--For their common interests they may make it up, but there will
never be any love lost--There are no such quarrels to patch up as
family ones 139
CHAPTER XXX
THE WOMAN I HATE
Women's-righters--Electric fluids--The bearded lady--The first-fiddle
--Lady doctors--Lady lawyers--Lady speech-makers--Prominent women--
A pretty picture 144
CHAPTER XXXI
THE KIND OF WOMAN I LOVE
Another answer to critics--Distorted minds--The portrait of a
womanly woman 149
CHAPTER XXXII
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD
The Irish, Hungarian and Spanish women--The beauty of the English
and French women--The redeeming feature of every American woman 153
CHAPTER XXXIII
BLONDES AND BRUNETTES
Characteristics of blondes and brunettes--The _ingenue_ and the
villainess--Which of the two do men like better?--Sauterne and
Burgundy--I like both--All women cannot afford to be blondes--
Blondes with dark eyes--Brunettes with blue eyes 158
CHAPTER XXXIV
FLIRTS AND COQUETTES
The difference between the two--Points of resemblance 162
CHAPTER XXXV
WHAT IS A PERFECT LADY?
'Am I the man as wants a gentleman to drive him?'--How can you
tell a lady?--A lady is a woman who adds to the virtues of a woman
the qualities of a gentleman 167
CHAPTER XXXVI
MAMMIES AND GRANNIES
Cupboard love--Every kind of love is more or less selfish except
maternal love--Maternal love over-rated--If you never had a grannie,
do get one--Reminiscences of grannies--A sacrifice--Grannies are
not at all prejudiced in favour of their grandchildren 171
CHAPTER XXXVII
ON MOTHERS-IN-LAW
How to deal with them--Difference between a misfortune and an
accident--'That will spoil the whole thing'--Shoot her! 176
CHAPTER XXXVIII
ON WIDOWS
Women do have grievances--Various specimens of widows--The jolly
widow--The inconsolate widow--The plump widow--Marriageable
widows--Mourning and black--Last wills and testaments--How long
should a widow mourn her husband?--'You should have seen me
yesterday!' 180
CHAPTER XXXIX
ON OLD MAIDS
Different types of old maids--Many of them are undisguised blessings--
Few men are good enough for women--Old bachelors and old maids 185
CHAPTER XL
SHOULD PEOPLE REMARRY?
The excuse most people give for remarrying--St. Peter's opinion
of men who have been married more than once--Stepmothers 189
CHAPTER XLI
THE LAWS AND CEREMONY OF MARRIAGE
Laws that will be altered during the twentieth century--People
will have to pass examinations before they are allowed to marry--
The Church should give young couples a happy start, and change the
ceremony of marriage 194
CHAPTER XLII
ON NURSES
Nurses look the happiest women in the world--Their lives and their
privileges--True story of a nurse 198
CHAPTER XLIII
PORTRAIT OF A FRENCH MOTHER 214
CHAPTER XLIV
FAILINGS AND FOIBLES OF GOOD WOMEN
Women of strong character--Obstinacy and prejudice--Tastes and
temperaments--The diplomatic woman--The strong-minded woman--The
superiority of woman--Monopolizers--Little women--The woman who
is wrong--'I told you so'--Why women were not given beards--Women
who marry for money and for titles--The only chance of success in
matrimony 228
CHAPTER XLV
CUPIDIANA
Stray thoughts on women--Love and matrimony 237
HER ROYAL HIGHNESS WOMAN
CHAPTER I
THE ETERNAL FEMININE
What do we know about women?--Generalities on the subject--I am
requested to speak on some subject I know something about.
'I am a man, and everything that concerns woman interests me,' might
have said Terence. This is also what every Frenchman says, and why of
all men on earth he is the one who knows women best. He is keenly
alive to woman's influence, and woman is an ever-present, almost a
fixed, idea with him. Whether he study her from the artistic, the
psychological, even the physiological, point of view, his interest in
her is never exhausted. And this explains why, since Aspasia inspired
Socrates and advised Pericles, in no other country (not even in
America) has woman's sovereignty been so supreme as it has always been,
and still is, in France.
It is true that the leaders of thought in France, as in any other
country, have long ago proclaimed that woman was the only problem it
would never be given to man to solve. It is true that they have all
tried and all failed, and that they acknowledge it, but they are trying
still.
This characteristic of woman is probably, after all, what makes her
ever so interesting to us. Nothing is more different from a woman than
another woman. Nothing is more different from a woman than that very
woman herself. The very moment we think we know her, she slips through
our fingers and stands in front of us an absolute stranger. And so it
should be. A man was one day complaining to a friend that he had been
married twenty years without being able to understand his wife. 'You
should not complain of that,' remarked the friend. 'I have been married
to my wife three months only, and I understand her perfectly.'
When I come to think of it, I must confess that we men are sometimes
perfectly lovely in our estimation of women. For example, you know, my
dear fellow-men, that when we have a little cold in our heads--nothing
more--the whole household is in a perfect state of commotion, and we
wonder how it is that the earth still dares continue her course round
the sun. Yet, when we see a woman patient, as she very generally is, of
the most poignant physical and moral suffering, we exclaim, in
admiration of her: 'She bears it like a man!' And what we seem to be
unable to understand is, why women should smile when they hear us make
that exclamation. Myself, I could roar, while holding my sides.
No man can say that he knows what a woman is unless he has met her in
adversity. It is then that she can attain prodigious heights. Indeed, I
believe that the head of a woman is much stronger in adversity than in
prosperity. She can always surpass herself in misfortune, and often
fails to stand success--I mean personal success, for she can associate
herself to the success of a husband with all her heart and soul, but
personal success is very often too much for her. How many women have I
met during my twenty years of contact with the literary, artistic,
dramatic, and social circles of life who completely lost their heads
over a sudden personal success! I have seen women immediately lose all
interest in home and family life; I have seen some abandon husband, and
even children, on suddenly becoming a celebrity, a famous writer,
actress, or singer, or a 'professional' beauty. A successful man will
not alter in his feelings toward his family because he has become
celebrated, unless he has a wife who should keep amusing herself with
reminding him that, however the great 'John' of Oliver Wendell Holmes
he may be to the public, he is only plain 'Jack' at home. On the
contrary, the successful man will often most willingly give all the
applause of the public for a few encouraging words of praise from a
devoted wife, for a few expressions of admiration from a loving
daughter. The easily unstrung, almost hysterical, temperament of a
woman will sometimes make her give up all the quiet enjoyment of family
happiness and love for the noisy applause of the crowd. It acts on her
like an intoxicating beverage; and if men sometimes get cured of the
craving for drink, women, it is well known, never do. The celebrated
woman is seldom fit to be, or, if she is, to remain, a wife and a
mother. She becomes an anomaly, a freak. It is in woman's nature. She
cannot look down to drop her love on a man; to love she must admire and
look up. I would rather be the husband of a simple little dairymaid
than that of a George Sand or a Madame de Stael.
All these are stray thoughts on the great eternal feminine. Like my
fellow-men, I know nothing about women.
I quite appreciated a little scene only a few weeks old. I was
announced to give a lecture on 'Women' to the students of a large
ladies' college in North Carolina. A couple of hours before the
lecture, three young ladies from the college called on me at the hotel
where I was staying. I met them in the parlour. Three charming, bright,
most intelligent-looking girls they were. After looking at each other
for some time, so as to suggest that the other should speak, one at
last made up her mind to be the spokeswoman of the little deputation.
'We have called on you,' she said, 'to ask if you would be kind enough
to change the subject of your lecture to-night. Our lecture course is
instituted for the instruction and the general improvement of the
students, and we thought we should like to hear you talk to us on a
subject which you know something about.' I must say that I felt
fearfully small; but I was delighted at the frankness of those young
American girls, and at once acceded to their request.