"He said it would do me no good, but we went over. Mr. Lincoln's
reception room was full of ladies and gentlemen when we entered.
"My turn soon came. Lincoln turned to my father and said:
"'Now, gentlemen, be pleased to be as quick as possible with your
business, as it is growing late.'
"My father then stepped up to Lincoln and introduced me to him.
Lincoln then said:
"'Take a seat, gentlemen, and state your business as quickly as
possible.'
"There was but one chair by Lincoln, so he motioned my father to sit,
while I stood. My father stated the business to him as stated above.
He then said:
"'Have you seen Mr. Stanton?'
"We told him yes, that he had refused. He (Mr. Lincoln) then said:
"'Gentlemen, this is Mr. Stanton's business; I cannot interfere with
him; he attends to all these matters and I am sorry I cannot help you.'
"He saw that we were disappointed, and did his best to revive our
spirits. He succeeded well with my father, who was a Lincoln man, and
who was a staunch Republican.
"Mr. Lincoln then said:
"'Now, gentlemen, I will tell you what it is; I have thousands of
applications like this every day, but we cannot satisfy all for this
reason, that these positions are like office seekers--there are too
many pigs for the teats.'
"The ladies who were listening to the conversation placed their
handkerchiefs to their faces and turned away. But the joke of 'Old
Abe' put us all in a good humor. We then left the presence of the
greatest and most just man who ever lived to fill the Presidential
chair."
=MORE PEGS THAN HOLES=
Some gentlemen were once finding fault with the President because
certain generals were not given commands.
"The fact is," replied President Lincoln, "I have got more pegs than I
have holes to put them in."
=FEW, BUT BOISTEROUS=
Lincoln was a very quiet man, and went about his business in a quiet
way, making the least noise possible. He heartily disliked those
boisterous people who were constantly deluging him with advice, and
shouting at the tops of their voices whenever they appeared at the
White House. "These noisy people create a great clamor," said he
one day, in conversation with some personal friends, "and remind
me, by the way, of a good story I heard out in Illinois while I was
practicing, or trying to practice, some law there. I will say, though,
that I practiced more law than I ever got paid for.
"A fellow who lived just out of town, on the bank of a large marsh,
conceived a big idea in the money-making line. He took it to a
prominent merchant, and began to develop his plans and specifications.
'There are at least ten million frogs in that marsh near me, an' I'll
just arrest a couple of carloads of them and hand them over to you.
You can send them to the big cities and make lots of money for both of
us. Frogs' legs are great delicacies in the big towns, an' not very
plentiful. It won't take me more'n two or three days to pick 'em. They
make so much noise my family can't sleep, and by this deal, I'll get
rid of a nuisance and gather in some cash.'
"The merchant agreed to the proposition, promised the fellow he would
pay him well for the two carloads. Two days passed, then three,
and finally two weeks were gone before the fellow showed up again,
carrying a small basket. He looked weary and 'done up,' and he wasn't
talkative a bit. He threw the basket on the counter with the remark,
'There's your frogs.'
"'You haven't two carloads in that basket, have you?' inquired the
merchant.
"'No,' was the reply, 'and there ain't two carloads in this blasted
world.'
"'I thought you said there were at least ten millions of 'em in
that marsh near you, according to the noise they made,' observed the
merchant. 'Your people couldn't sleep because of 'em.'
"'Well,' said the fellow, 'accordin' to the noise they made, there
was, I thought, a hundred million of 'em, but when I had waded and
swum that there marsh day and night for two blessed weeks, I couldn't
harvest but six. There's two or three left yet, an' the marsh is as
noisy as it uster be. We haven't catched up on any of our lost sleep
yet. Now, you can have these here six, an' I won't charge you a cent
fer 'em.'
"You can see by this little yarn," remarked the President, "that these
boisterous people make too much noise in proportion to their numbers."
=THE PRESIDENTIAL "CHIN-FLY"=
Some of Mr. Lincoln's intimate friends once called his attention to
a certain member of his Cabinet who was quietly working to secure
a nomination for the Presidency, although knowing that Mr. Lincoln
was to be a candidate for re-election. His friends insisted that
the Cabinet officer ought to be made to give up his Presidential
aspirations or be removed from office. The situation reminded Mr.
Lincoln of a story: "My brother and I," he said, "were once plowing
corn, I driving the horse and he holding the plow. The horse was lazy,
but on one occasion he rushed across the field so that I, with my long
legs, could scarcely keep pace with him. On reaching the end of the
furrow, I found an enormous chin-fly fastened upon him, and knocked
him off. My brother asked me what I did that for. I told him I didn't
want the old horse bitten in that way. 'Why,' said my brother, 'that's
all that made him go.' Now," said Mr. Lincoln, "if Mr. ---- has a
Presidential chin-fly biting him, I'm not going to knock him off, if
it will only make his department go."
="WEBSTER COULDN'T HAVE DONE MORE"=
Lincoln "got even" with the Illinois Central Railroad Company, in
1855, in a most substantial way, at the same time secured sweet
revenge for an insult, unwarranted in every way, put upon him by one
of the officials of that corporation.
Lincoln and Herndon defended the Illinois Central Railroad in an
action brought by McLean County, Illinois, in August, 1853, to recover
taxes alleged to be due the county from the road. The Legislature had
granted the road immunity from taxation, and this was a case intended
to test the constitutionality of the law. The road sent a retainer fee
of $250.
In the lower court the case was decided in favor of the railroad. An
appeal to the Supreme Court followed, was argued twice, and finally
decided in favor of the road. This last decision was rendered some
time in 1855. Lincoln then went to Chicago, and presented the bill for
legal services. Lincoln and Herndon only asked for $2,000 more.
The official to whom he was referred, after looking at the bill,
expressed great surprise.
"Why, sir," he exclaimed, "this is as much as Daniel Webster himself
would have charged. We cannot allow such a claim."
"Why not?" asked Lincoln.
"We could have hired first-class lawyers at that figure," was the
response.
"We won the case, didn't we?" queried Lincoln.
"Certainly," replied the official.
"Daniel Webster, then," retorted Lincoln in no amiable tone, "couldn't
have done more," and "Abe" walked out of the official's office.
Lincoln withdrew the bill, and started for home. On the way he stopped
at Bloomington, where he met Grant Goodrich, Archibald Williams,
Norman B. Judd, O. H. Browning, and other attorneys, who, on learning
of his modest charge for the valuable services rendered the railroad,
induced him to increase the demand to $5,000, and to bring suit for
that sum.
This was done at once. On the trial six lawyers certified that the
bill was reasonable, and judgment for that sum went by default; the
judgment was promptly paid, and, of course, his partner, Herndon, got
"your half, Billy" without delay.
=LONG AND SHORT OF IT=
On the occasion of a serenade, the President was called for by the
crowd assembled. He appeared at a window with his wife (who was
somewhat below the medium height), and made the following "brief
remarks":
"Here I am, and here is Mrs. Lincoln. That's the long and the short of
it."
='SQUIRE BAGLY'S PRECEDENT=
Mr. T. W. S. Kidd, of Springfield, says that he once heard a lawyer
opposed to Lincoln trying to convince a jury that precedent was
superior to law, and that custom made things legal in all cases. When
Lincoln arose to answer him he told the jury he would argue his case
in the same way.
"Old 'Squire Bagly, from Menard, came into my office and said,
'Lincoln, I want your advice as a lawyer. Has a man what's been
elected justice of the peace a right to issue a marriage license?'
I told him he had not; when the old 'squire threw himself back in
his chair very indignantly, and said, 'Lincoln, I thought you was a
lawyer. Now Bob Thomas and me had a bet on this thing, and we agreed
to let you decide; but if this is your opinion I don't want it, for I
know a thunderin' sight better, for I have been 'squire now for eight
years and have done it all the time.'"
=TOM CORWIN'S LATEST STORY=
One of Mr. Lincoln's warm friends was Dr. Robert Boal, of Lacon,
Illinois. Telling of a visit he paid to the White House soon after Mr.
Lincoln's inauguration, he said: "I found him the same Lincoln as a
struggling lawyer and politician that I did in Washington as President
of the United States, yet there was a dignity and self-possession
about him in his high official authority. I paid him a second call in
the evening. He had thrown off his reserve somewhat, and would walk up
and down the room with his hands to his sides and laugh at the joke he
was telling, or at one that was told to him. I remember one story he
told to me on this occasion.
"Tom Corwin, of Ohio, had been down to Alexandria, Va., that day and
had come back and told Lincoln a story which pleased him so much that
he broke out in a hearty laugh and said: 'I must tell you Tom Corwin's
latest. Tom met an old man at Alexandria who knew George Washington,
and he told Tom that George Washington often swore. Now, Corwin's
father had always held the father of our country up as a faultless
person and told his son to follow in his footsteps.
"'"Well," said Corwin, "when I heard that George Washington was
addicted to the vices and infirmities of man, I felt so relieved that
I just shouted for joy."'"
=THE CABINET WAS A-SETTIN'=
Being in Washington one day, the Rev. Robert Collyer thought he'd take
a look around. In passing through the grounds surrounding the White
House, he cast a glance toward the Presidential residence, and was
astonished to see three pairs of feet resting on the ledge of an open
window in one of the apartments of the second story. The divine paused
for a moment, calmly surveyed the unique spectacle, and then resumed
his walk toward the War Department. Seeing a laborer at work not far
from the Executive Mansion, Mr. Collyer asked him what it all meant.
To whom, did the feet belong, and particularly, the mammoth ones?
"You old fool," answered the workman, "that's the Cabinet, which is
a-settin', an' them thar big feet belongs to 'Old Abe.'"
="MASSA LINKUM LIKE DE LORD!"=
By the Act of Emancipation President Lincoln built for himself forever
the first place in the affections of the African race in this country.
The love and reverence manifested for him by many of these people
has, on some occasions, almost reached adoration. One day, Colonel
McKaye, of New York, who had been one of a committee to investigate
the condition of the freedmen, upon his return from Hilton Head and
Beaufort called upon the President, and in the course of the interview
said that up to the time of the arrival among them in the South of the
Union forces they had no knowledge of any other power. Their masters
fled upon the approach of our soldiers, and this gave the slaves the
conception of a power greater than their masters exercised. This power
they called "Massa Linkum."
Colonel McKaye said their place of worship was a large building
they called "the praise house," and the leader of the "meeting," a
venerable black man, was known as "the praise man."
On a certain day, when there was quite a large gathering of the
people, considerable confusion was created by different persons
attempting to tell who and what "Massa Linkum" was. In the midst of
the excitement the white-headed leader commanded silence. "Brederen,"
said he, "you don't know nosen' what you'se talkin' 'bout. Now, you
just listen to me. Massa Linkum, he ebery whar. He know ebery ting."
Then, solemnly looking up, he added: "He walk de earf like de Lord!"
=A BULLET THROUGH HIS HAT=
A soldier tells the following story of an attempt upon the life of Mr.
Lincoln:
"One night I was doing sentinel duty at the entrance to the Soldiers'
Home. This was about the middle of August, 1864. About eleven o'clock
I heard a rifle shot, in the direction of the city, and shortly
afterwards I heard approaching hoof-beats. In two or three minutes
a horse came dashing up. I recognized the belated President. The
President was bare-headed. The President simply thought his horse had
taken fright at the discharge of the firearms.
"On going back to the place where the shot had been heard, we found
the President's hat. It was a plain silk hat, and upon examination we
discovered a bullet hole through the crown.
"The next day, upon receiving the hat, the President remarked that it
was made by some foolish marksman, and was not intended for him; but
added that he wished nothing said about the matter.
"The President said, philosophically: 'I long ago made up my mind
that if anybody wants to kill me, he will do it. Besides, in this
case, it seems to me, the man who would succeed me would be just as
objectionable to my enemies--if I have any.'
"One dark night, as he was going out with a friend, he took along a
heavy cane, remarking, good-naturedly:
"'Mother (Mrs. Lincoln) has got a notion into her head that I shall be
assassinated, and to please her I take a cane when I go over to the
War Department at night--when I don't forget it.'"
=THE GENERAL WAS "HEADED IN"=
A Union general, operating with his command in West Virginia, allowed
himself and his men to be trapped, and it was feared his force would
be captured by the Confederates. The President heard the report read
by the operator, as it came over the wire, and remarked:
"Once there was a man out West who was 'heading' a barrel, as they
used to call it. He worked like a good fellow in driving down the
hoops, but just about the time he thought he had the job done, the
head would fall in. Then he had to do the work all over again.
"All at once a bright idea entered his brain, and he wondered how it
was he hadn't figured it out before. His boy, a bright, smart lad,
was standing by, very much interested in the business, and, lifting
the young one up, he put him inside the barrel, telling him to hold
the head in its proper place, while he pounded down the hoops on the
sides. This worked like a charm, and he soon had the 'heading' done.
"Then he realized that his boy was inside the barrel, and how to get
him out he couldn't for his life figure out. General Blank is now
inside the barrel, 'headed in,' and the job now is to get him out."
="MIXING" AND "MINGLING"=
An Eastern newspaper writer told how Lincoln, after his first
nomination, received callers, the majority of them at his law office:
"While talking to two or three gentlemen and standing up, a very hard
looking customer rolled in and tumbled into the only vacant chair and
the one lately occupied by Mr. Lincoln. Mr. Lincoln's keen eye took in
the fact, but gave no evidence of the notice.
"Turning around at last he spoke to the odd specimen, holding out his
hand at such a distance that our friend had to vacate the chair if he
accepted the proffered shake. Mr. Lincoln quietly resumed his chair.
"It was a small matter, yet one giving proof more positively than a
larger event of that peculiar way the man has of mingling with a mixed
crowd."
=WANTED TO BURN HIM DOWN TO THE STUMP=
Preston King once introduced A. J. Bleeker to the President, and the
latter, being an applicant for office, was about to hand Mr. Lincoln
his vouchers, when he was asked to read them. Bleeker had not read
very far when the President disconcerted him by the exclamation, "Stop
a minute! You remind me exactly of the man who killed the dog; in
fact, you are just like him."
"In what respect?" asked Bleeker, not feeling he had received a
compliment.
"Well," replied the President, "this man had made up his mind to kill
his dog, an ugly brute, and proceeded to knock out his brains with a
club. He continued striking the dog after the latter was dead until a
friend protested, exclaiming, 'You needn't strike him any more; the
dog is dead; you killed him at the first blow.'
"'Oh, yes,' said he, 'I know that; but I believe in punishment after
death.' So, I see, do you."
Bleeker acknowledged it was possible to overdo a good thing, and
then came back at the President with an anecdote of a good priest
who converted an Indian from heathenism to Christianity; the only
difficulty he had with him was to get him to pray for his enemies.
"This Indian had been taught to overcome and destroy all his friends
he didn't like," said Bleeker, "but the priest told him that
while that might be the Indian method, it was not the doctrine of
Christianity of the Bible. 'Saint Paul distinctly says,' the priest
told him, 'If thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him
drink.'
"The Indian shook his head at this, but when the priest added, 'For
in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head,' Poor Lo was
overcome with emotion, fell on his knees, and with outstretched hands
and uplifted eyes invoked all sorts of blessings on the heads of all
his enemies, supplicating for pleasant hunting-grounds, a large supply
of squaws, lots of pappooses and all other Indian comforts.
"Finally the good priest interrupted him (as you did me, Mr.
President), exclaiming, 'Stop, my son! You have discharged your
Christian duty, and have done more than enough.'
"'Oh, no, father,' replied the Indian; 'let me pray. I want to burn
him down to the stump!'"
=CHALLENGED ALL COMERS=
Personal encounters were of frequent occurrence in Gentryville in
early days, and the prestige of having thrashed an opponent gave the
victor marked social distinction. Green B. Taylor, with whom "Abe"
worked the greater part of one winter on a farm, furnished an account
of the noted fight between John Johnston, "Abe's" step-brother, and
William Grigsby, in which stirring drama "Abe" himself played an
important role before the curtain was rung down.
Taylor's father was the second for Johnston, and William Whitten
officiated in a similar capacity for Grigsby. "They had a terrible
fight," related Taylor, "and it soon became apparent that Grigsby was
too much for Lincoln's man, Johnston. After they had fought a long
time without interference, it having been agreed not to break the
ring, 'Abe' burst through, caught Grigsby, threw him off and some feet
away. There Grigsby stood, proud as Lucifer, and, swinging a bottle of
liquor over his head, swore he was 'the big buck of the lick.'
"'If any one doubts it,' he shouted, 'he has only to come on and whet
his horns.'"
A general engagement followed this challenge, but at the end of
hostilities the field was cleared and the wounded retired amid the
exultant shouts of their victors.
=WITHDREW THE COLT=
Mr. Alcott, of Elgin, Ill., tells of seeing Mr. Lincoln coming away
from church unusually early one Sunday morning. "The sermon could not
have been more than half way through," says Mr. Alcott. "'Tad' was
hung across his left arm like a pair of saddle bags, and Mr. Lincoln
was striding along with long, deliberate steps toward his home. On one
of the street corners he encountered a group of his fellow-townsmen.
Mr. Lincoln anticipated the question which was about to be put by the
group, and, taking his figure of speech from practices with which they
were only too familiar, said: 'Gentlemen, I entered this colt, but he
kicked around so I had to withdraw him.'"
=SWEET, BUT MILD REVENGE=
When the United States found that a war with Black Hawk could not be
dodged, Governor Reynolds, of Illinois, issued a call for volunteers,
and among the companies that immediately responded was one from Menard
County, Illinois. Many of these volunteers were from New Salem and
Clary's Grove, and Lincoln, being out of business, was the first to
enlist.
The company being full, the men held a meeting at Richland for the
election of officers. Lincoln had won many hearts, and they told
him that he must be their captain. It was an office to which he did
not aspire, and for which he felt he had no special fitness; but he
finally consented to be a candidate.
There was but one other candidate, a Mr. Kirkpatrick, who was one of
the most influential men of the region. Previously, Kirkpatrick had
been an employer of Lincoln, and was so overbearing in his treatment
of the young man that the latter left him.
The simple mode of electing a captain adopted by the company was by
placing the candidates apart, and telling the men to go and stand
with the one they preferred. Lincoln and his competitor took their
positions, and then the word was given. At least three out of every
four went to Lincoln at once.
When it was seen by those who had arranged themselves with the other
candidate that Lincoln was the choice of the majority of the company,
they left their places, one by one, and came over to the successful
side, until Lincoln's opponent in the friendly strife was left
standing almost alone.
"I felt badly to see him cut so," says a witness of the scene.
Here was an opportunity for revenge. The humble laborer was his
employer's captain, but the opportunity was never improved. Mr.
Lincoln frequently confessed that no subsequent success of his life
had given him half the satisfaction that this election did.
="CATCH 'EM AND CHEAT 'EM"=
The lawyers on the circuit traveled by Lincoln got together one night
and tried him on the charge of accepting fees which tended to lower
the established rates. It was the understood rule that a lawyer should
accept all the client could be induced to pay. The tribunal was known
as "The Ogmathorial Court."
Ward Lamon, his law partner at the time, tells about it:
"Lincoln was found guilty and fined for his awful crime against the
pockets of his brethren of the bar. The fine he paid with great good
humor, and then kept the crowd of lawyers in uproarious laughter until
after midnight.
"He persisted in his revolt, however, declaring that with his consent
his firm should never during its life, or after its dissolution,
deserve the reputation enjoyed by those shining lights of the
profession, 'Catch 'em and Cheat 'em.'"
=A JURYMAN'S SCORN=
Lincoln had assisted in the prosecution of a man who had robbed his
neighbor's hen roosts. Jogging home along the highway with the foreman
of the jury that had convicted the hen stealer, he was complimented
by Lincoln on the zeal and ability of the prosecution, and remarked:
"Why, when the country was young, and I was stronger than I am now, I
didn't mind packing off a sheep now and again, but stealing hens!" The
good man's scorn could not find words to express his opinion of a man
who would steal hens.
="TAD" INTRODUCES "OUR FRIENDS"=
President Lincoln often avoided interviews with delegations
representing various States, especially when he knew the objects of
their errands, and was aware he could not grant their requests. This
was the case with several commissioners from Kentucky, who were put
off from day to day.
They were about to give up in despair, and were leaving the White
House lobby, their speech being interspersed with vehement and
uncomplimentary terms concerning "Old Abe," when "Tad" happened along.
He caught at these words, and asked one of them if they wanted to see
"Old Abe," laughing at the same time.
"Yes," he replied.
"Wait a minute," said "Tad," and rushed into his father's office. Said
he, "Papa, may I introduce some friends to you?"
His father, always indulgent and ready to make him happy, kindly said,
"Yes, my son, I will see your friends."
"Tad" went to the Kentuckians again, and asked a very dignified
looking gentleman of the party his name. He was told his name. He then
said, "Come, gentlemen," and they followed him.
Leading them up to the President, "Tad," with much dignity, said,
"Papa, let me introduce to you Judge ----, of Kentucky;" and quickly
added, "Now, Judge, you introduce the other gentlemen."