THE TOZER FAMILY.
When Phoebe woke next morning, under the huge flowers of the old
fashioned cotton drapery of her "tent" bed, to see the faint daylight
struggling in through the heavy curtains which would not draw back from
the window, the discouragement of her first arrival for a moment
overpowered her again--and with even more reason--for she had more fully
ascertained the resources of the place in which she found herself. There
were no books, except some old volumes of sermons and a few back numbers
of the Congregational Magazine, no visitors, so far as she could make
out, no newspaper but the Carlingford Weekly Gazette, nothing but her
grandmother's gossip about the chapel and Mrs. Tom to pass the weary
hours away. Even last night Mrs. Tozer had asked her whether she had not
any work to beguile the long evening, which Phoebe occupied much more
virtuously, from her own point of view, in endeavouring to amuse the old
people by talking to them. Though it was morning, and she ought to have
been refreshed and encouraged by the repose of the night, it was again
with a few hot tears that Phoebe contemplated her prospects. But this was
only a passing weakness. When she went down to breakfast, she was again
cheerful as the crocuses that raised their heads along the borders with
the promise of summer in them. The sun was shining, the sky was frosty,
but blue. After all, her present sufferings could not endure for ever.
Phoebe hurried to get dressed, to get her blue fingers warned by the
dining-room fire. It is needless to say that there was no fire, or
thought of a fire in the chilly room, with its red and brown hangings,
in which Mrs. Tozer last night had hoped she would be happy. "No fear of
that, grandmamma," she had answered cheerfully. This was as much a lie,
she felt, as if it had been said with the wickedest intentions--was it
as wrong? How cold it was, and yet how stifling! She could scarcely
fasten the ribbon at her neck, her fingers were so cold.
"Yes, grandpapa, it is brighter than in London. We don't live in the
city, you know. We live in rather a pretty neighbourhood looking out on
Regent's Park, but it is seldom so bright as the country. Sometimes the
fog blows up our way, when the wind is in the east; but it is warmer, I
think," said Phoebe, with a little shiver, stooping over the dining-room
fire.
"Ah!" said Mrs. Tozer, shaking her head, "it's your mother as has spoilt
you, I don't make no doubt, with fires and things. That takes the
hardiness out of young folks. A little bit of cold is wholesome, it
stirs up the blood. Them as is used to fires is always taking cold. One
good fire in the sitting-room, that's always been my principle, and them
as is cold if they can't warm theirselves with movin' about, which is
far the best, let them come and warm their fingers when they please--as
you may be doing now."
"Perhaps it is a very good principle, grandmamma," said Phoebe, "when one
is used to it; but the country is colder than town. Where there are
fires on every side you must have more warmth than in a detached house
like this. But it is only my hands after all. Shall I make the tea?"
"You should wear mittens like me--I always did in the High Street,
especial when I was going and coming to the shop, helping serve, when
the children were young and I had the time for it. Ah! we've done with
all that now. We're more at our ease, but I can't say as we're much
happier. A shop is a cheerful sort of thing. I dare say your mother has
told you--"
"No," said Phoebe, under her breath; but the reply was not noticed. She
nearly dropped the teapot out of her hand when she heard the word--Shop!
Yes, to be sure, that was what being "in trade" meant, but she had never
quite realized it till now. Phoebe was going through a tremendous piece
of mental discipline in these first days. She writhed secretly, and
moaned to herself--why did not mamma tell me? but she sat quite still
outside, and smiled as if it was all quite ordinary and natural, and
she had heard about the shop all her life. It seemed cruel and unkind to
have sent her here without distinct warning of what she was going to
meet. But Phoebe was a good girl, and would not blame her father and
mother. No doubt they meant it "for the best."
"Is Uncle Tom," she said, faltering somewhat, "in the--shop now?"
"If I'm able," said Mrs. Tozer, "I'll walk that far with you this
morning--or Tozer, I mean your grandfather, will go. It's a tidy house
o' business, though I say it as shouldn't, seeing it was him and me as
made it all; though I don't hold with Mrs. Tom's nonsense about the new
windows. Your Uncle Tom is as innocent as innocent, but as for her, she
ain't no favourite of mine, and I makes no bones about saying so, I
don't mind who hears."
"She ain't so bad as you make her out," said Tozer. "She's kind enough
in her way. Your grandmother is a-going to show you off--that's it, my
dear. She can't abide Tom's wife, and she wants to show her as you're
far finer than her girls. I don't say no. It's nat'ral, and I'm not one
as stands against nature; but don't you be prejudiced by my old woman
there. She _is_ a prejudiced one. Nothing in the world will make her
give up a notion when she's took it into her head."
"No, nothing; and ain't I always right in the end? I should think you've
proved that times enough," said the old woman. "Yes, I'll take a little,
my dear, since you press me so pretty. Folks take many a thing when
they're pressed as they wouldn't touch if there was no one to say, take
a bit. Tozer, he never thinks of that; he's always had the best o'
appetites; but as for me, if I get's a cup o' tea that's all as I cares
for. You'll see as she'll take my view, when she's once been to the High
Street. She's her mother's daughter, and Phoebe can't abide that woman,
no more than me."
"Have they got many children?" said Phoebe. "I know there are two girls,
but as I have never seen them--Are they as old as I am?" she asked, with
a tremulous feeling at her heart. If there were girls in the shop in the
High Street, with whom she would have to be on familiar terms, as her
cousins and equals, Phoebe did not feel that she could put up with that.
"The eldest, Polly, is only twelve," said Tozer; "but never you mind, my
dear, for you shan't be without company. There's a deal of families with
daughters like yourself. Your grandmother won't say nothing against it;
and as for me, I think there's nought so cheery as young folks. You
shall have a fire in the drawing-room, and as many tea-parties as you
like. For the young men, I can't say as there's many, but girls is
plenty, and as long as you're content with that--"
Mrs. Tozer regarded him with withering contempt across the table.
"You're clever ones, you men," she said. "Families with daughters! Do
you think the Greens and the Robbins is company for _her_? I dare say as
you've heard your mother speak of Maria Pigeon, my dear? She married
John Green the grocer, and very well to do and respectable they may be,
but nobody but the likes of your grandfather would think of you and them
making friends."
"Indeed I don't care for making friends," said Phoebe, "you must remember
that I came not for society, but to wait upon you, dear grandmamma. I
don't want young friends. At home I always go out with my mother; let me
take walks with you, when you are able. I am glad Uncle Tom's children
are little. I don't want company. My work--and the garden--and to sit
with grandmamma, that is all I care for. I shall be as happy as the day
is long," said this martyr, smiling benignly over the aches in her
heart.
Her grandparents looked at her with ever-growing pride. Was not this the
ideal young woman, the girl of the story-books, who cared about nothing
but her duty?
"That's very nice of you, my dear; but you ain't going to hide yourself
up in a corner," said Tozer. And, "Never fear, I'll take her wherever
it's fit for her to go to," his wife added, looking at her with pride.
Phoebe felt, in addition to all the rest, that she was to be made a show
of to all the connection, as a specimen of what the Tozer blood could
come to, and she did not even feel sure that something of the same
feeling had not been in her mother's bosom when she fitted her out so
perfectly. Phoebe Tozer had left contemporaries and rivals in
Carlingford, and the thought of dazzling and surpassing them in her
offspring as in her good fortune had still some sweetness for her mind.
"Mamma meant it too!" Phoebe junior said to herself with a sigh.
Unfortunately for her, she did everybody credit who belonged to her, and
she must resign herself to pay the penalty. Perhaps there was some
compensation in that thought.
And indeed Phoebe did not wonder at her grandmother's pride when she
walked up with her to High Street, supporting her on her arm. She
recognised frankly that there were not many people like herself about,
few who had so much the air of good society, and not one who was so well
dressed. There were excuses to be made then for the anxiety of the old
people to produce her in the little world which was everything to them,
and with her usual candour and good sense she acknowledged this, though
she winced a little when an occasional acquaintance drifted across Mrs.
Tozer's path, and was introduced with pride to "my granddaughter," and
thrust forth an ungloved hand, with an exclamation of, "Lord bless us,
Phoebe's eldest! I hope I see you well, Miss." Phoebe continued urbane,
though it cost her many a pang. She had to keep on a perpetual argument
with herself as she went along slowly, holding up her poor grandmother's
tottering steps. "If this is what we have really sprung from, this is my
own class, and I ought to like it; if I don't like it, it must be my
fault. I have no right to feel myself better than they are. It is not
position that makes any difference, but individual character," Phoebe
said to herself. She got as much consolation out of this as is to be
extracted from such rueful arguments in general; but it was after all
indifferent comfort, and had not her temperament given her a strong hold
of herself, and power of subduing her impulses, it is much to be feared
that Phoebe would have dropped her grandmother's arm as they approached
the station, and run away. She did waver for a moment as she came in
sight of it. On that side lay freedom, comfort, the life she had been
used to, which was not very elevated indeed, but felt like high rank in
comparison with this. And she knew her parents would forgive her and
defend her if she went back to them, unable to support the martyrdom
which she had rashly taken upon herself. But then how weak that would
be, Phoebe thought to herself, drawing Mrs. Tozer's arm more tightly
within her own--how small! how it would hurt the feelings of the old
people, how it would vex and embarrass her father and mother! Lastly, it
might peril her brother's interests and her own, which, to do her
justice, was the last thing she thought of, and yet was not undeserving
of notice in its way.
"Lean on me more heavily, grandmamma," she said at last, finally
concluding and throwing off this self-discussion. She could not prolong
it further. It was unworthy of her. Hence-forward she had made up her
mind to set her face like a flint, and no longer leave the question of
her persistence in her domestic mission an open question. Whatever she
might have "to put up with," it was now decided once for all.
"Bless us all, if this ain't grandmamma," said Mrs. Tom. It was not
often, as she herself said with pride, that she required to be in the
shop, which was very much improved now from its old aspect. Ill luck,
however, brought her here to-day. She stood at the door which led from
the shop to the house, dividing the counter, talking to a lady who was
making a complaint upon the quality of cheese or butter. Mrs. Tozer had
led Phoebe that way in order to point out to her the plate-glass windows
and marble slabs for the cheese, of which, though they were one of her
grievances against Mrs. Tom, she was secretly proud.
"I don't deny but what they've done a deal," said the old woman, "show
and vanity as I call it. I wish they may do as well for themselves with
all their plate-glass as me and Tozer did without it; but it ain't often
as you'll see a handsomer shop," she added, contemplating fondly the
scene of her early labours. If a squire looks fondly at his land, and a
sailor at his ship (when ships were worth looking at), why should not a
shopkeeper regard his shop with the same affectionate feelings? Mrs. Tom
Tozer had just taken leave of her remonstrant customer with a curtsey,
and an assurance that the faults complained of should be remedied, when
she caught sight of the infirm old woman leaning on Phoebe's arm, and
made the exclamation already quoted.
"Lord bless us all! if it ain't grandmamma, and Phoebe's daughter along
o' her, I'll lay you sixpence," said Mrs. Tom in the extremity of her
surprise, and at the highest pitch of her voice. The lady customer was
still in the shop, and when she heard this she turned round and gave the
new-comers a stare. (It was not very wonderful, Phoebe allowed to herself
with secret anguish). She gave old Mrs. Tozer a familiar nod. "This is
quite a long walk for you now-a-days," she said, gazing at Phoebe, though
she addressed the old woman.
"Thank ye, ma'am, I am a deal better," said Mrs. Tozer, "especially as
I've got my granddaughter to take care of me."
"Oh! is this young--person your granddaughter," said the customer with
another stare, and then she nodded again and went away wondering.
"Well," Phoebe said to herself, "one little sting more or less what did
it matter?" and she went on through the shop supporting her grandmother,
keenly sensible of the looks that encountered her on every side. Mrs.
Tom stood leaning against the counter, waiting for them without making
any advance. She was smart and good-looking, with a malicious gleam in a
pair of bright black beady eyes.
"How are you, granny?" she said, "I declare you're looking quite young
again, and as spry as twenty. Come in and rest; and this young lady as
is with you, I don't think as I need ask her name, the likeness speaks
for itself. It's Phoebe Beecham, ain't it? Bless us all! I'd have known
her anywhere, I would; the very moral of her mother, and of you too,
granny. As you stand there now, you're as like as two peas."
Unconsciously Phoebe cast a look upon her grandmother. She did not think
she was vain. To be unconscious that she had some personal advantages
would, of course, be impossible; but a thrill crept through her when she
looked at the old woman by her side, wrinkled and red, in her
copper-coloured gown. As like as two peas! was that possible? Phoebe's
heart sank for the moment to her shoes, and a pitiful look of restrained
pain came to her face. This was assailing her in her tenderest point.
"Am I so like you, grandmamma?" she said, faltering; but added quickly,
"then I cannot be like mamma. How do you do? My mother wished me to come
at once, to bring her kind regards. Is my uncle at home?"
"No, Miss, your uncle ain't at home," said Mrs. Tom, "but you might be
civil, all the same, and put a name to me, more nor if I was a dog. I'm
your aunt, I am--and I likes all my titles, I do--and proper respect."
"Surely," said Phoebe, with a bow and a gracious smile--but she did not
add that name. She was pleased to think that "Tom's wife" was her
mother's favourite aversion, and that a dignified resistance to her
claims was, so to speak, her duty. It even amused her to think of the
ingenuity required throughout a long conversation for the clever and
polite eluding of this claim.
"I hope as you mean to let us in, Amelia," said Mrs. Tozer, "for it
ain't often as I takes so long a walk. I would never have thought of it
but for Phoebe--Phoebe junior, as Tozer calls her. She's been used to
things very different, but I'm thankful to say she ain't a bit proud.
She couldn't be more attentive to me if I was the queen, and talks of
your children as pretty as possible, without no nonsense. It ain't often
as you see that in a girl brought up like she's been."
"I don't pretend to know nothing of how she's been brought up," said
Mrs. Tom, "and I don't think as there's no occasion for pride here.
We're all well-to-do, and getting on in the world--thanks to Him as
gives the increase. I don't see no opening for pride here. Me and your
mother were never very good friends, Phoebe, since that's your name; but
if there's anything I can do for you, or my family, you won't ask twice.
Grandmother's ain't a very lively house, not like mine, as is full of
children. Come in, Granny. I'm always speaking of making the stairs
wider, and a big window on the landing; but folks can't do everything
at once, and we'll have to do with it a bit longer. We've done a deal
already to the old place."
"More than was wanted, or was thought upon in my time," said the old
lady, to whom this was as the trumpet of battle. "The stairs did well
enough for me, and I can't think what Tom can want changing things as
he's been used to all his life."
"Oh, it ain't Tom," said his wife, her face lighting up with
satisfaction. "Tom wouldn't mind if the place was to come to bits about
our ears. He's like you, granny, he's one of the stand-still ones. It
ain't Tom, it's me."
This little passage of arms took place as they were going upstairs,
which cost poor Mrs. Tozer many pantings and groaning, and placed Phoebe
for once on Mrs. Tom's side, for a window on the landing would have been
a wonderful improvement, there was no denying. When, at last, they had
toiled to the top, fighting their way, not only through the obscurity,
but through an atmosphere of ham and cheese which almost choked Phoebe,
the old lady was speechless with the exertion, though the air was to her
as the air of Paradise. Phoebe placed her on a chair and undid her
bonnet-strings, and for a minute was really alarmed. Mrs. Tom, however,
took it with perfect equanimity.
"She's blown a bit; she ain't as young as she was, nor even as she
thinks for," said that sympathetic person. "Come, Granny, cheer up. Them
stairs ain't strange to you. What's the good of making a fuss? Sit down
and get your breath," she went on, pulling forward a chair; then turning
to Phoebe, she shrugged her shoulders and raised her eyebrows. "She's
breaking fast, that's what it is," said Mrs. Tom under her breath, with
a nod of her head.
"This is the room as your mother spent most of her life in when she was
like you," said Mrs. Tozer, when she regained her breath. "It was here
as she met your father first. The first time I set my eyes on him,
'That's the man for my Phoebe,' I said to myself; and sure enough, so it
turned out."
"You didn't miss no way of helping it on, neither, granny, if folks do
you justice," said Mrs. Tom. "Mothers can do a deal when they exerts
themselves; and now Phoebe has a daughter of her own, I dare be sworn
she's just as clever, throwing the nice ones and the well-off ones in
her way. It's a wonder to me as she hasn't gone off yet, with all her
opportunities--two or three and twenty, ain't you, Miss Phoebe? I should
have thought you'd have married long afore now."
"I stall be twenty my next birthday," said Phoebe. "My cousins are a
great deal younger, I hear; are they at school? I hope I shall see them
before I go."
"Oh, you'll see 'em fast enough," said their mother, "they're 'aving
their music lesson. I don't hold with sending girls to school. I likes
to keep them under my own eye. I suppose I needn't ask you now if you
play?"
"A very little," said Phoebe, who rather piqued herself upon her music,
and who was learned in Bach and Beethoven, and had an opinion of her own
about Wagner. Mrs. Tom brightened visibly, for her girls played not a
little, but a great deal.
"And draw?--but I needn't ask, for living in London, you've got masters
at your very door."
"Not at all, I am sorry to say," said Phoebe, with a pathetic tone of
regret in her voice.
"Lord bless us! Now who'd have thought it? I think nothing a sacrifice
to give mine the best of education," said Mrs. Tom.