"Tam saw an unco sight!
Nae cotillon brent new frae France,
But hornpipes, jigs, strathspeys, and reels,
Put life and mettle in their heels."
BURNS.
On the following Monday, towards the evening, Tom Rainsfield and William
mounted their horses at Fern Vale, to ride over to the domicile of the
Sawyers. They had delayed their visit until the close of the day,
presuming, though their invitation specified no time of meeting, that
they would be quite early enough at the hour they were going. They
therefore rode leisurely along, and approached "Industry" (as the
Sawyers had christened their place) just as the sun was sinking in the
west. The scene that then presented itself to their vision was truly of
a novel character, and one that rather amused them.
A short distance from the cottage had been erected a bowery hall for the
reception and feasting of the guests; and at the time when it first
burst upon their view the shouts that arose from its umbrageous walls
plainly indicated the nature of the proceedings within. But as the
reader is not supposed to be possessed of the same ubiquitous faculties
as the author, we may be permitted, for the purpose of enlightenment, to
describe the nature of those proceedings.
In the interior of this retreat, and stretching its entire length, was a
bench or impromptu table, with seats on each side of it of a similar
construction; in the whole of which the rough material was plentifully
and principally called into use. On the board stood the remains of
sundry viands, proclaiming the conclusion of a feast; and bottles, and
drinking utensils of various shapes, sizes, and material, were kept in
constant activity by numerous grim-visaged masculine beings who sat
round the table. The variety of costumes was particularly striking, from
the perfect black, donned for the nonce by the head of the Sawyer
family, to that of one of his choicest friends, who sat in resplendent
vest, and shirt sleeves; having divested himself of his outer garment on
the principle of preference to ease over elegance. In the rear of what
we may call the saloon, in the shade of the bush, another party was
assembled; and from the shrieks of the women, and the boisterous mirth
of the men, it was evident their amusement was something other than that
of a passive nature.
As our friends approached this group a fleet-footed female darted from
the human labyrinth like a startled fawn closely pursued by one of the
merry-making lords of the creation. The chase was continued amidst the
repetition of a perfect Babel of shouts and laughter, until the panting
and exhausted roe sank into the arms of the pursuing hart, and yielded
to the requiting inosculation. Blush not, gentle reader; these matured
specimens of the family of man, for the time forgot the dignity of their
years, and were amusing themselves by a renewal of their youthful
pristine enjoyments. They were in fact playing at "kiss in the ring."
In the rear of the house the young men detected another foliate shed, in
which were, secured to some rough stalls, numerous specimens of
horse-flesh; while in the vicinity were scattered drays, light spring
carts, and even shakey gigs, evidently the conveyances of the various
guests. Here our friends left their horses; and judging the best place
to present themselves to their host, and where they were most likely to
see him, would be the leafy hall, they bent thither their steps. Upon
reaching the entrance they perceived the company was being enlivened by
the performance of some disciple of Apollo, who was venting forth in a
stentorian voice a rendering of "The Maniac;" and when he uttered (as
the young men arrested their steps so as not to "disturb the harmony"):
"No, by heavens! I am not mad," they really thought he was under the
same strange hallucination as the subject of the song, and labouring to
deceive himself upon a reality. If he was not mad, they imagined, he was
at least bordering on that state; while the whole of his hearers were
not far removed from the same, when they tolerated such uproar
unworthily dignified by the name of music.
However, when the song ceased, in the midst of the deafening shouts, and
clatter of tumblers etc. that followed, William and his companion
entered; and at once distinguished the late singer as the individual who
sat at the head of the board. This personage was a coarse-looking,
red-faced, thick-set fellow; with lowering eyebrows, bushy moustache
(though otherwise cleanly shaved face), and hair of an objectionable,
though undefinable colour. He was dressed, as far as was perceptible,
in a black coat, white waistcoat, and neckerchief, and with an immense
frill front to his shirt. He seemed to be exceedingly heated with the
exertion of his song; and was drying his face and forehead with a white
handkerchief, in which action he was displaying more than one massive
ring; adorning fingers, that, to the eyes of our friends, proved
experience in more active and manual employment than military discipline
would be likely to require. He sat smiling complacently at his friends,
as one who was conscious of having displayed the possession of a
valuable talent; and, though gratified by the adulation of his hearers,
he took it as a just homage, and as a proof that they were not destitute
of a phrygian taste; or at least could appreciate music, when they heard
it in perfection, as when he himself sang.
This individual, our friends rightly judged, was Captain Jones. On
his right sat his lady, the quondam Miss Sawyer, and on his left her
worthy papa. Whether the young lady was enchanted by the lyric strains
of her lord, or not, we are at a loss to say; notwithstanding that we
know she was possessed of what she called a "pihanner," and had a soul
for music, having on various occasions accompanied herself on that
instrument to the immense delight of her admiring friends. She might
have been actuated in her lengthened sitting by motives of a protective
character, to preserve her husband from a too free libation; or, it
might have been, that she felt happy in no other society but his.
Either of which reasons were sufficiently cogent, though we are unable
to conjecture which might have influenced her. But, be it as it may,
there she sat; and, with the exception of her mother, who occupied the
foot of the table, she was the only representative of her sex in the
assembly.
William and Tom had made their way very nearly up to the head of the
table before they were noticed by the host; who, when he perceived them,
jumped from his seat, and seizing them each by the hand, expressed all
sorts of pleasure at their presence, and formally introduced them to
the bold Captain Jones and his lady. The latter having received their
congratulations with the most perfect nonchalance, proposed, as the
evening was drawing on, that the company should all adjourn to the
house; and suiting her motion to her word she sallied from the bower,
escorted by our friends, and followed by the bridegroom, and the other
"beings of sterner stuff."
In the cottage they were joined by those who had been amusing themselves
on the green; and all then sat down to another substantial meal that
went by the name of tea. This being despatched, while the rooms were
being cleared, the men adjourned to the verandah and grass to smoke, and
were joined by some of the women; while the rest assisted in the
domestic arrangements inside. These being completed, and the smokers
satisfied with "blowing their cloud," they reentered the dwelling,
which had in the short space of time they had occupied in the enjoyment
of the narcotic weed, become perfectly metamorphosed. The principal room
had been converted from _la salle á manger_ to _la salle de danse_; and
its transition had been so speedily effected that the company were quite
delighted, and loud in their praises of the effective adornment We are
inclined to think, however, more was to be attributed to the spirit that
pervaded the company to be pleased with everything than that there was
any display of wonderful taste. A few boughs of green foliage were stuck
about the walls; and the benches of planks were arranged all round the
room, and covered with scarlet blankets; while, by way of chandeliers,
and in lieu of candlesticks, bottles, containing "Belmont sperms," were
dispersed and stationed on every available stand, by which simple means
the lighting and decorating of the hall was completed.
The superior guests (we mean our young friends William and Tom) were
led away by "the Captain," who acted as major domo M.C., etc., to a back
room; which on ordinary occasions served as the dormitory of Mr. Reuben
Sawyer, but on the present was set apart for the especial refreshment of
"the gents;" while the bridal apartment in the front was made to endure
a similar profanation for the benefit of "the ladies." The Captain,
after enjoying another shake of the hand from his visitors, gave vent to
his feelings in a rapturous expression of delight at the honour of their
patronage; declaring the moment to be the happiest of his life; trusting
he should long enjoy the pleasure of their friendship; regretting that
their friends had not found it convenient to accompany them; and finally
requested them to join him in a drink. Upon receiving an acquiescence to
this request, he exclaimed: "What shall it be? Brandy? gin? wine?
claret? champagne? Ah, champagne; yes! we will have a bottle of
champagne for good fellowship sake." Upon which he took up a bottle and
cut the string, when away flew the cork, while he poured the wine into
three tumblers. Two of these he pushed over to his guests, while the
third he raised to his own lips, with the trite though universal toast
of "here's luck," and drained his glass at a draught; while he smacked
his lips with the air of a connoisseur, and said: "You'll find that an
excellent wine, for I selected it myself. The fellow I bought it from
tried to palm some inferior stuff on to me, but it wouldn't do; he did
not know I was a judge of wine until I convinced him I was not to be
humbugged by any of his rubbish. But to tell you the truth wine is all
stuff; it does not do a man any good; it may suit a Frenchman (who has
got no blood in him) to drink it; but give me beer or brandy they are
the drinks for an Englishman. What'll keep life in a fellow like brandy?
the only right thing the French ever did was to make brandy; it's the
real stuff to cheer you after all. Try a 'ball,' will you?"
Both William and Tom thanked the enthusiastic Captain, but declined the
proffered ball; while he assisted himself to a pretty stiff jorum of the
_eau de vie_, and quaffed it as if it was a really necessary concomitant
to his life; after which he said: "Well, suppose then we go into the
room to the women; they will be wanting me to start them off in a dance.
But have a smoke? here's some cigars if you like them. You know we don't
object to smoking in our drawing-room, ah! ah! ah! This is Liberty Hall!
for you can do as you like. But excuse me, I must be off; make
yourselves perfectly at home." Saying which, and puffing vigorously at a
cigar, he left them, while they leisurely sauntered into the verandah in
front; from which they could witness the terpsichorean arrangements.
Elevated in a remote corner of the room, was a professional gentleman of
the Paganini school; but, unlike that great performer, he was not
content to manipulate upon one chord, but continued with strenuous
efforts to raise discord on four. His music, if not exactly metrical,
was at least spirited, and that was sufficient for the lovers of the
"light fantastic," who danced "their allotted hour" with no small degree
of delight. As all human happiness must have an end so had the enjoyment
of these merrymakers; and the jig was terminated in a long drawn sigh,
and "Oh! dear me," from the women, and an explosion of the remaining
pent-up steam of the men. These forthwith adjourned "to liquor," leaving
the softer sex to do the same if they felt so disposed, which many of
them appeared to be. After about half an hour had elapsed, when the
guests returned by degrees to the saloon, Captain Jones volunteered a
song; and, upon obtaining the greatest degree of silence practicable,
gave the "Ship on Fire." It was in much the same style as the former
specimen of his vocalic talent; except that he was a little more
boisterous, and sang with a less distinct utterance. But still he was in
keeping with the character of the epic; for, unless his face very much
belied his internal state, he was in one intestine blaze. There is an
oft repeated story of Sir Walter Raleigh that while he was one day
smoking his wonted pipe his servant brought him in his beer; but when
the domestic, uninitiated to the consolation of the weed, beheld a
volume of smoke emitted from the mouth of his master he imagined him to
be inflicted by a celiac conflagration, and cast the contents of the
flagon into Sir Walter's face. If the ingenious servitor had only lived
in our day, and been called upon to wait on our friend the Captain as he
appeared on this occasion, he would assuredly have made the same waste
of malt liquor on the illuminated visage of that individual. However,
the "Ship on Fire" was got through, and elicited great applause; after
which, the _artiste_, perceiving his genteel guests rather apart from
the rest of the company, and not joining in the festivities, came over
and addressed them in the following words:
"Why don't you make yourself at home? you haven't had anything to drink
to-night; some refreshments will be round in a minute or so, and then we
will have a dance; but you've never heard my wife sing, have you?" Upon
receiving a reply in the negative, he continued: "Then, my word, she's a
stunner! I'll go and tell her you want her to sing. You know she sings,
'I should like to marry.' I composed a song for her to that tune, and
you shall hear it;" saying which he left them to induce his fair bride
to oblige her friends; at the same time that Mr. Sawyer, junior, made
his appearance with a large jug and a number of tumblers, and asked our
friends if they would take a drink. They thought it strange to bring
water round to imbibe, considering that most of the guests ignored that
beverage without its being plentifully diluted with spirits (as the
Captain said). But thinking it was possibly on their account, seeing
that they did not indulge alcoholically as the others did, our young
friends gladly accepted a glass, and held it to be filled from the jug.
To their astonishment, however, what they had imagined was water gave
evidence, by its appearance, of more inebriating qualities.
"Why, what on earth is that you're giving us, Reuben?" asked William.
"Champagne," replied the youth.
"Champagne!" they both uttered at once; "that is a novel way of serving
champagne."
"Oh, father said it was humbug to open a bottle and hand it round in
mouthfuls to the people," replied the youth; "so, you see we opened a
lot, and turned them into this jug, so that everybody can take a drink
of it."
This idea considerably amused our friends, and they laughed heartily at
the champagne service, as they called it; but were checked suddenly in
their mirth by the "charming and accomplished" Mrs. Jones warbling forth
her desires for a suitable match in the matrimonial way. We need not
repeat her song but merely state that her desiderata were centred in a
young digger with plenty of gold, and a good hut, which was to be
possessed of a brick chimney; and not a slab "humpie" with a hole in the
bark roof, containing a tub or other cylindrical vessel to carry off the
smoke. And the desired one, should he present himself, was to go down on
his knees, and conscientiously swear that he "had left no wife at home."
When the lady had finished her song the plaudits of her enraptured
hearers rang through the house, and the woods outside. The company were
enchanted, and no doubt imagined she had far surpassed even the efforts
of a Grisi (did they but know such a being existed). The fair creature
herself was equally satisfied with her performance, which she considered
exquisite; though our friends were rude enough to think otherwise,
notwithstanding that they were profuse in their praise to the lady and
her husband. Dancing was then resumed, and the young men, having seen
enough to afford a fund of amusement to themselves and their respective
family circles, waited for an opportunity to slip away unmolested. The
fortuitous event was not long in presenting itself; and at a moment when
the majority of the men were engaged "fast and furious" at their
wassail, the two young men saddled their horses, mounted, and returned
to Fern Vale.
END OF VOL. II.
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Transcriber's notes
Spelling, punctuation and hyphenation have been standardised.
Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (italics).
Table of Contents has been added.
End of Project Gutenberg's Fern Vale, Volume 2 (of 3), by Colin Munro