Chapter XXI

That thunder in the soil, at first too deep within it to be audible, had

come to the surface now and gradually became heard as the thunder of

a million feet upon the training grounds. The bugles rang sharper; the

drums and fifes of town and village and countryside were the drums and

fifes of a war that came closer and closer to every hearth between the

two oceans.

All the old symbols became symbols bright and new, as if no one had ever

seen them before. “America” was like a new word, and the song “America”

was like a new song. All the dusty blatancies of orating candidates,

seeking to rouse bored auditors with “the old flag”; all the mechanical

patriotics of school and church and club; all these time-worn flaccid

things leaped suddenly into living colour. The flag became brilliant and

strange to see--strange with a meaning that seemed new, a meaning long

known, yet never known till now.

And so hearts that thought they knew themselves came upon ambushes of

emotion and hidden indwellings of spirit not guessed before. Dora Yocum,

listening to the “Star Spangled Banner,” sung by children of immigrants

to an out-of-tune old piano in a mission clubroom, in Chicago, found

herself crying with a soul-shaking heartiness in a way different from

other ways that she had cried. Among the many things she thought of then

was this: That the banner the children were singing about was in danger.

The great country, almost a continent, had always seemed so untouchable,

so safe and sure; she had never been able to conceive of a hostile

power mighty enough to shake or even jar it. And since so great and

fundamental a thing could not be injured, a war for its defence had

appeared to be, in her eyes, not only wicked but ridiculous. At last,

less and less vaguely, she had come to comprehend something of the

colossal German threat, and the shadow that touched this bright banner

of which the immigrants' children piped so briskly in the mission

club-room.

She had begun to understand, though she could not have told just why,

or how, or at what moment understanding reached her. She began to

understand that her country, threatened to the life, had flung its line

those thousands of miles across the sea to stand and hold Hindenburg and

Ludendorff and all their Kaisers, Kings, Dukes, and Crown Princes, their

Krupp and Skoda monstrous engines, and their monstrous other engines of

men made into armies. Through the long haze of misted sea-miles and the

smoke of land-miles she perceived that brown line of ours, and knew it

stood there that Freedom, and the Nation itself, might not perish from

the earth.

And so, a week later, she went home, and came nervously to Ramsey's

mother and found how to direct the letter she wanted to write. He was in

France.

As the old phrase went, she poured out her heart. It seems to apply to

her letter.

She wrote:

Don't misunderstand me. I felt that my bitter speech to you had driven

you to take the step you did. I felt that I had sent you to be killed,

and that I ought to be killed for doing it, but I knew that you had

other motives, too. I knew, of course, that you thought of the country

more than you did of me, or of any mad thing I would say--but I thought

that what I said might have been the prompting thing, the word that

threw you into it so hastily and before you were ready, perhaps. I

dreaded to bear that terrible responsibility. I hope you understand.

My great mistake has been--I thought I sas so “logical”--it's been in

my starting everything with a thought I'd never proven; that war is the

worst thing, and all other evils were lesser. I was wrong. I was wrong,

because war isn't the worst evil. Slavery is the worse evil, and now

I want to tell you I have come to see that you are making war on those

that make slavery. Yes, you are fighting those that make both war and

slavery, and you are right, and I humbly reverence and honour all of

you who are in this right war. I have come home to work in the Red Cross

here; I work there all day, and all day I keep saying to myself--but I

really mean to _you_--it's what I pray, and oh, how I pray it: “God be

with you and grant you the victory!” For you must win and you will win.

Forgive me, oh, please--and if you will, could you write to me? I know

you have things to do more important than “girls”--but oh, couldn't you,

please?

This letter, which she had taken care not to dampen, as she wrote, went

in slow course to the “American Expeditionary Forces in France,” and

finally found him whom it patiently sought. He delayed not long to

answer, and in time she held in a shaking hand the pencilled missive he

had sent her.

You forget all that comic talk about me enlisting because of your

telling me to. I'd written my father I was going at the first chance a

month and a half before that day when you said it. My mind was made up

at the first time there was any talk of war, and you had about as much

responsibility for my going as some little sparrow or something. Of

course I don't mean I didn't pay any attention to the different things

you said, because I always did, and I used to worry over it because I

was afraid some day it would get you in trouble, and I'm mighty glad

you've cut it out. That's right; you be a regular girl now. You always

were one, and I knew it all right. I'm not as scared to write to you as

I was to talk to you, so I guess you know I was mighty tickled to get

your letter. It sounded blue, but I was glad to get it. You _bet_ I'll

write to you! I don't suppose you could have any idea how glad I was to

get your letter. I could sit here and write to you all day if they'd let

me, but I'm a corporal now. When you answer this, I wish you'd say how

the old town looks and if the grass in the front yards is as green as it

usually is, and everything. And tell me some more about everything you

think of when you are working down at the Red Cross like you said.

I guess I've read your letter five million times, and that part ten

million. I mean where you underlined that “_you_” and what you said

to yourself at the Red Cross. Oh, murder, but I was glad to read that!

Don't forget about writing anything else you think of like that.

Well, I was interrupted then and this is the next day. Of course, I

can't tell you where we are, because that darned censor will read this

letter, but I guess he will let this much by. Who do you think I ran

across in a village yesterday? Two boys from the old school days, and

we certainly did shake hands a few times! It was the old foolish Dutch

Krusemeyer and Albert Paxton, both of them lieutenants. I heard Fred

Mitchell is still training in the States and about crazy because they

won't send him over yet.

If you had any idea how glad I was to get your letter, you wouldn't lose

any time answering this one. Anyhow, I'm going to write to you again

every few days if I get the chance, because maybe you'll answer more

than one of 'em.

But see here, cut out that “sent you to be killed” stuff. You've got the

wrong idea altogether. We've got the big job of our lives, we know that,

but we're going to do it. There'll be mistakes and bad times, but we

won't fall down. Now you'll excuse me for saying it this way, Dora, but

I don't know just how to express myself except saying of course we know

everybody isn't going to get back home--but listen, we didn't come

over here to get killed particularly, we came over here to give these

Dutchmen h--l!

Perhaps you can excuse language if I write it with a blank like that,

but before we get back we're going to do what we came for. They may not

all of them be as bad as some of them--it's a good thing you don't know

what we do, because some of it would make you sick. As I say, there may

be quite a lot of good ones among them; but we know what they've done to

this country, and we know what they mean to do to ours. So we're going

to attend to them. Of course that's why I'm here. It wasn't you.

Don't forget to write pretty soon, Dora. You say in your letter--I

certainly was glad to get that letter--well, you say I have things to do

more important than “girls.” Dora, I think you probably know without my

saying so that of course while I have got important things to do, just

as every man over here has, and everybody at home, for that matter,

well, the thing that is most important in the world to me, next to

helping win this war, it's reading the next letter from you.

Don't forget how glad I'll be to get it, and don't forget you didn't

have anything to do with my being over here. That was--it was something

else. And you bet, whatever happens I'm glad I came! Don't ever forget

_that_!

Dora knew it was “something else.” Her memory went back to her first

recollection of him in school: from that time on he had been just an

ordinary, everyday boy, floundering somehow through his lessons in

school and through his sweethearting with Milla, as the millions of

other boys floundered along with their own lessons and their own

Millas. She saw him swinging his books and romping homeward from the

schoolhouse, or going whistling by her father's front yard, rattling

a stick on the fence as he went, care-free and masterful, but shy as a

deer if strangers looked at him, and always “not much of a talker.”

She had always felt so superior to him, she shuddered as she thought of

it. His quiet had been so much better than her talk. His intelligence

was proven now, when it came to the great test, to be of a stronger sort

than hers. He was wise and good and gentle--and a fighting man! “We know

what they've done to this country and what they mean to do to ours. So

we're going to attend to them.” She read this over, and she knew that

Ramsey, wise and gentle and good, would fight like an unchained devil,

and that he and his comrades would indeed and indeed do what they “came

for.”

“It wasn't you,” he said. She nodded gently, agreeing, and knew what it

was that sent him. Yet Ramsey had his own secret there, and did not tell

it. Sometimes there rose, faint in his memory, a whimsical picture, yet

one that had always meant much to him. He would see an old man sitting

with a little boy upon a rustic bench under a walnut tree to watch the

“Decoration Day Parade” go by--and Ramsey would see a shoot of sunshine

that had somehow got through the walnut tree and made a bedazzlement of

glinting fine lines over a spot about the size of a saucer, upon the old

man's thick white hair. And in Ramsey's memory, the little boy, sitting

beside the veteran, would half close his eyes, drowsily, playing that

this sunshine spot was a white bird's-nest, until he had a momentary

dream of a glittering little bird that dwelt there and wore a blue

soldier cap on its head. And Ramsey would bring out of his memory

thoughts that the old man had got into the child's head that day. “We

knew that armies fighting for the Freedom of Man _had_ to win, in the

long run.... We were on the side of God's Plan.... Long ago we began to

see hints of His Plan.... Man has to win his freedom from himself--men

in the light have to fight against men in the dark.... That light is the

answer.... We had the light that made us never doubt.”

A long while Dora sat with the letter in her hand before she answered it

and took it upon her heart to wear. That was the place for it, since it

was already within her heart, where he would find it when he came home

again. And she beheld the revelation sent to her. This ordinary life of

Ramsey's was but the outward glinting of a high and splendid spirit, as

high and splendid as earth can show. And yet it was only the life of an

everyday American boy. The streets of the town were full, now, of boys

like Ramsey.

At first they were just boys in uniform; then one saw that they were

boys no more.

They were soldiers.

Ramsey Milholland · 第 21 / 21 章