Chapter XVIII

So everywhere over the country, that winter of 1916, there were

light-hearted boys skylarking--at college, or on the farms; and in the

towns the young machinists snowballed one another as they came from the

shops; while on this Sunday of the “frat” snow fight probably several

hundreds of thousands of youthful bachelors, between the two oceans,

went walking, like Ramsey, each with a girl who could forget the

weather. Yet boys of nineteen and in the twenties were not light-hearted

all the time that winter and that spring and that summer. Most of them

knew long, thoughtful moments, as Ramsey did, when they seemed to be

thinking not of girls or work or play--nor of anything around them,

but of some more vital matter or prospect. And at such times they were

grave, but not ungentle.

For the long strain was on the country; underneath all its outward

seeming of things going on as usual there shook a deep vibration, like

the air trembling to vast organ pipes in diapasons too profound to reach

the ear as sound: one felt, not heard, thunder in the ground under

one's feet. The succession of diplomatic Notes came to an end after the

torpedoing of the _Sussex_; and at last the tricky ruling Germans in

Berlin gave their word to murder no more, and people said, “This means

peace for America, and all is well for us,” but everybody knew in his

heart that nothing was well for us, that there was no peace.

They said “All is well,” while that thunder in the ground never

ceased--it grew deeper and heavier till all America shook with it and it

became slowly audible as the voice of the old American soil wherein lay

those who had defended it aforetime, a soil that bred those who would

defend it again, for it was theirs; and the meaning of it--Life,

Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness--was theirs, and theirs to defend.

And they knew they would defend it, and that more than the glory of a

Nation was at stake. The Freedom of Man was at stake. So, gradually,

the sacred thunder reached the ears of the young men and gave them those

deep moments that came to them whether they sat in the classroom or

the counting-room, or walked with the plow, or stood to the machine, or

behind the ribbon counter. Thus the thunder shook them and tried them

and slowly came into their lives and changed everything for them.

Hate of the Germans was not bred; but a contempt for what Germany had

shown in lieu of a national heart; a contempt as mighty and profound as

the resolve that the German way and the German will should prevail in

America, nor in any country of the world that would be free. And when

the German Kaiser laid his command upon America, that no American should

take his ship upon the free seas, death being the penalty for any who

disobeyed, then the German Kaiser got his answer, not only to this

new law he had made for us, but to many other thoughts of his. Yet the

answer was for some time delayed.

There was a bitter Sunday, and its bitterness went everywhere, to

every place in the whole world that held high and generous hearts. Its

bitterness came to the special meeting in the “Frat hall,” where there

were hearts, indeed, of that right sort, and one of them became vocal

in its bitterness. This was the heart of Fred Mitchell, who was now an

authority, being president of the Junior Class, chairman of the Prom

Committee, and other things pleasant to be and to live for at his age.

“For me, Brothers,” he said, “I'd think I'd a great deal rather have

been shot through the head than heard the news from Washington to-day! I

tell you, I've spent the meanest afternoon I ever did in my life, and I

guess it's been pretty much the same with all of us. The worst of it

is, it looks as though there isn't a thing in the world we can do. The

country's been betrayed by a few blatherskites and boneheads that had

the power to do it, and all we can do we've just got to stand it. But

there's some Americans that aren't just standing it, and I want to tell

you a lot of 'em are men from the universities, just like us. They're

_over there_ right now; they haven't said much--they just packed up and

went. They're flying for France and for England and for Canada; they're

fighting under every flag on the right side of the Western Front; and

they're driving ambulances at Verdun and ammunition trucks at the Somme.

Well, there's going to be a lot more American boys on all these jobs

mighty soon, on account of what those men did in Congress to-day. If

they won't give us a chance to do something under our own flag, then

we'll have to go and do it under some other flag; and I want to tell you

I'm one that's going to _go!_ I'll stick it out in college up to Easter,

and then if there's still no chance to go under the Stars and Stripes

I'll maybe have to go under the flag my great-great-grandfather fought

against in 1776, but, anyhow, I'll _go!_”

It was in speaking to Ramsey of this declaration that Dora said Fred was

a “dangerous firebrand.” They were taking another February walk, but the

February was February, 1917; and the day was dry and sunny. “It's just

about a year ago,” she said.

“What is?” Ramsey asked.

“That first time we went walking. Don't you remember?”

“Oh, _that_ day? Yes, I remember it was snowing.”

“And so cold and blowy!” she added. “It seems a long time ago. I like

walking with you, Ramsey. You're so quiet and solid--I've always felt

I could talk to you just anyhow I pleased, and you wouldn't mind. I'll

miss these walks with you when we're out of college.”

He chuckled. “That's funny!”

“Why?”

“Because we've only taken four besides this: two last year, and another

week before last, and another last week. This is only the fifth.”

“Good gracious! Is that all? It seemed to me we'd gone ever so often!”

She laughed. “I'm afraid you won't think that seems much as if I'd liked

going, but I really have. And, by the way, you've never called on me at

all. Perhaps it's because I've forgotten to ask you.”

“Oh, no,” Ramsey said, and scuffed his shoes on the path, presently

explaining rather huskily that he “never _was_ much of a caller”; and he

added, “or anything.”

“Well, you must come if you ever care to,” she said, with a big-sister

graciousness. “The Dorm chaperon sits there, of course, but ours is

a jolly one and you'd like her. You've probably met her--Mrs.

Hustings?--when you've called on other girls at our old shop.”

“No,” said Ramsey. “I never was much of a--” He paused, fearing that he

might be repeating himself, and too hastily amended his intention. “I

never liked any girl enough to go and call on her.”

“Ramsey Milholland!” she cried. “Why, when we were in school half the

room used to be talking about how you and that pretty Milla--”

“No, no!” Ramsey protested, again too hurriedly. “I never called on her.

We just went walking.”

A moment later his colour suddenly became fiery. “I don't mean--I

mean--” he stammered. “It was walking, of course--I mean we did go out

walking but it wasn't walking like--like this.” He concluded with a fit

of coughing which seemed to rack him.

Dora threw back her head and laughed delightfully. “Don't you

apologize!” she said. “_I_ didn't when I said it seemed to me that we've

gone walking so often, when in reality it's only four or five times

altogether. I think I can explain, though: I think it came partly from

a feeling I have that I can rely on you--that you're a good, solid,

reliable sort of person. I remember from the time we were little

children, you always had a sort of worried, honest look in school;

and you used to make a dent in your forehead--you meant it for a

frown--whenever I caught your eye. You hated me so honestly, and you

were so honestly afraid I wouldn't see it!”

“Oh, no--no--”

“Oh, yes--yes!” she laughed, then grew serious. “My feeling about

you--that you were a person to be relied on, I mean--I think it began

that evening in our freshman year, after the _Lusitania_, when I stopped

you on campus and you went with me, and I couldn't help crying, and you

were so nice and quiet. I hardly realized then that it was the first

time we'd ever really talked together--of course _I_ did all the

talking!--and yet we'd known each other so many years. I thought of it

afterward. But what gave me such a different view of you, I'd always

thought you were one of that truculent sort of boys, always just

bursting for a fight; but you showed me you'd really never had a fight

in your life and hated fighting, and that you sympathized with my

feeling about war.” She stopped speaking to draw in her breath with a

sharp sigh. “Ah, don't you remember what I've told you all along? How

it keeps coming closer and closer--and now it's almost here! Isn't it

_unthinkable?_ And what can we do to stop it, we poor few who feel that

we _must_ stop it?”

“Well--” Ramsey began uncomfortably. “Of course I--I--”

“You can't do much,” she said. “I know. None of us can. What can any

little group do? There are so few of us among the undergraduates--and

only one in the whole faculty. All the rest are for war. But we mustn't

give up; we must never feel afterward that we left anything undone; we

must fight to the last breath!”

“'Fight'?” he repeated wonderingly, then chuckled.

“Oh, as a figure of speech,” she said, impatiently. “Our language

is full of barbaric figures left over from the dark ages. But, oh,

Ramsey!”--she touched his sleeve--“I've heard that Fred Mitchell is

saying that he's going to Canada after Easter, to try to get into the

Canadian aviation corps. If it's true, he's a dangerous firebrand, I

think. Is it true?”

“I guess so. He's been talking that way some.”

“But why do you _let_ him talk that way?” she cried. “He's your

roommate; surely you have more influence with him than anybody else has.

Couldn't you--”

He shook his head slowly, while upon his face the faintly indicated

modellings of a grin hinted of an inner laughter at some surreptitious

thought. “Well, you know, Fred says himself sometimes, I don't seem to

be much of a talker exactly!”

“I know. But don't you see? That sort of thing is contagious. Others

will think they ought to go if he does; he's popular and quite a leader.

Can't you do anything with him?”

She waited for him to answer. “Can't you?” she insisted.

The grin had disappeared, and Ramsey grew red again. He seemed to wish

to speak, to heave with speech that declined to be spoken and would not

rouse up from his inwards. Finally he uttered words.

“I--I--well, I--”

“Oh, I know,” she said. “A man--or a boy!--always hates to be intruding

his own convictions upon other men, especially in a case like this,

where he might be afraid of some idiot's thinking him unmanlike. But

Ramsey--” Suddenly she broke off and looked at him attentively; his

discomfort had become so obvious that suspicion struck her. She spoke

sharply. “Ramsey _you_ aren't dreaming of doing such a thing, are you?”

“What such a thing?”

“Fred hasn't influenced _you_, has he? You aren't planning to go with

him, are you?”

“Where?”

“To join the Canadian aviation.”

“No; I hadn't thought of doing it.”

She sighed again, relieved. “I had a queer feeling about you just

then--that you _were_ thinking of doing some such thing. You looked so

odd--and you're always so quiet, anybody might not really know what you

do think. But I'm not wrong about you, am I, Ramsey?”

They had come to the foot of the steps that led up to the entrance of

her dormitory, and their walk was at an end. As they stopped and

faced each other, she looked at him earnestly; but he did not meet the

scrutiny, his eyelids fell.

“I'm not wrong, am I, Ramsey?”

“About what?” he murmured, uncomfortably.

“You are my friend, aren't you?”

“Yes.”

“Then it's all right,” she said. “That relieves me and makes me happier

than I was just now, for of course if you're my friend you wouldn't let

me make any mistake about you. I believe you, and now, just before I go

in and we won't see much of each other for a week--if you still want me

to go with you again next Sunday--”

“Yes--won't you, please?”

“Yes, if you like. But I want to tell you now that I count on you in all

this, even though you don't 'talk much,' as you say; I count on you

more than I do on anybody else, and I trust you when you say you're my

friend, and it makes me happy. And I think perhaps you're right about

Fred Mitchell. Talk isn't everything, nobody knows that better than

I, who talk so much! and I think that, instead of talking to Fred, a

steady, quiet influence like yours would do more good than any amount of

arguing. So I trust you, you see? And I'm sorry I had that queer doubt

of you.” She held out her hand. “Unless I happen to see you on the

campus for a minute, in the meantime, it's good-bye until a week from

to-day. So--well, so, good-bye until then!”

“Wait,” said Ramsey.

“What is it?”

He made a great struggle. “I'm not influencing Fred not to go,” he said.

“I--don't want you to trust me to do anything like that.”

“What?”

“I think it's all right for him to go, if he wants to,” Ramsey said,

miserably.

“You do? For him to go to _fight?_”

He swallowed. “Yes.”

“_Oh!_” she cried, turned even redder than he, and ran up the stone

steps. But before the storm doors closed upon her she looked down to

where he stood, with his eyes still lowered, a lonely-seeming figure,

upon the pavement below. Her voice caught upon a sob as she spoke.

“If you feel like that, you might as well go and enlist, yourself,” she

said, bitterly. “I can't--I couldn't--speak to you again after this!”

Ramsey Milholland · 第 18 / 21 章