HOW HARRY TRUELOCKE LEFT US FOR THE SEA.
And now came fast upon us that black day, the twenty-fourth of August,
1662, when such numbers of faithful ministers were stript of their
offices and livings because they would not go against their consciences;
and our own Mr. Truelocke among them. I think he was more stiffly set
than ever in his opinion of the unlawfulness of conformity, since he had
that talk with James Westrop; at least Aunt Golding thought so. But on
other points he showed himself mild and persuadable, so that there was
nothing like the difficulty Harry and all of us had looked for in
winning him to come and dwell at the Grange, for a season at least; and
he agreed to make the change before the fatal day should come.
So we had all a busy time of it that last week, in getting his many
books and his simple household stuff removed from the Parsonage house,
and in bestowing them suitably at the Grange, where Aunt Golding had
prepared two fair rooms for his particular use. And however bad the
occasion for our doing this work, some of us found pleasure in it.
I must own I myself always loved a busy, bustling time, when there
seemed a little more to be done in each day than we could crowd into it;
which was our case now, wheat harvest having begun. And I was gladder
than common of the stir and the bustle, for it helped to stupefy and
dull a pain there was at my heart whenever the thought crossed me how
soon Harry would be gone. He was to depart on a long voyage to the East
Indies, and would indeed have sailed already but for his loving care
about his father, which made him resolute to tarry until he saw the old
gentleman in a manner provided for.
Some perverse whimsy of mine had made me careful never to be left alone
in Harry's company since that talk with him by moonlight in the orchard.
It's no wonder that I so perfectly recollect all the sayings and doings
of that day, for it was a fateful day indeed to some of our little
company. But the things that dwelt most constantly in my memory, to the
shutting out of weightier matters, were Harry's looks and words on my
saying I would be as a daughter to Mr. Truelocke. There was small need
to bid me think well of them; I thought of them whether I would or no,
all the while telling myself that I was a poor fool for brooding over
such airy trifles; that I had not known aught of Harry, nor he of me,
six months before; and that I deserved whipping for fancying he could
mean anything serious. And so, between a kind of fear and a good deal of
pride, I tried, as I have said, to avoid any private talk with him; and
I succeeded pretty well. But Harry's blunt, plain-spoken ways
overmatched me after all.
The first evening after Mr. Truelocke had come to the Grange--I cannot
say, after we had him settled there, for he was mightily unsettled--he
was not able to rest in the room we had fitted for his study, and so
came to sit among us in the hall, seeming to please himself with
watching our occupations, as he sat in his great chair. Andrew was
writing somewhat at his desk; Althea had some sewing; and I was having a
lesson from Aunt Golding in the right use of the little flax-wheel; for
I had taken an extraordinary fancy for spinning, and our aunt encouraged
me in it, and took pains to teach me, saying I was an apt scholar. Thus
we were busied when Harry came in and sat down among us.
'You all look peaceful and content, methinks,' quoth he. 'I wish I were
a skilful painter, then might I make a picture of this pretty scene to
carry with me and cheer my heart in distant seas. But since I cannot do
that, I must try for some other comfort to take away with me.'
Here he stopt, and Aunt Golding said kindly, 'What is in my power to do
for you, Master Harry, I will do as freely as your father could.'
'Thanks, madam,' said Harry; 'there's much you and my father can do for
me; I know only one other person who can do more. Father, I looked for
you in your study even now; but I am not sorry to find you here instead,
hardly any one here but has some interest in my business with you. I
want your consent and Mrs. Golding's to my seeking Mistress Lucy here
for my wife.'
I heard the words plainly, and I suppose their sense reached me; but if
they had been so many blows of an axe upon my head they could not have
left me more stupid. So I sat helpless, hearing Aunt Golding cry out,--
'Here is hasty work, indeed! do you speak seriously, Master Harry?'
'Never more seriously,' said he; 'if they were the last words I should
speak I could not mean them more truly and heartily. And I hope you have
a good answer for me.'
'I don't say no,' she replied; 'but there are others to be consulted
beside me.'
So Harry, looking at Mr. Truelocke, said, 'Father, call your thoughts
off from your unkind Mother Church, and bestow some of them on your
dutiful son. Will you give me your sanction and your blessing, if I can
win this lady to say she will be mine?'
'I can never refuse thee my blessing, Harry, and that thou knowest,'
said the old man. 'But it's fitting that I should think of the lady too,
and bid her consider what she does.'
He turned to me, which troubled me greatly, and, looking sadly and
kindly at me, said,--
'If you take this boy of mine, madam,' said he, 'you take the son of a
poor, despised, aged man, who can give you and him nothing but a
father's blessing, coupled with his burdensome infirmity to care for
and tend, till death remove it;' words which loosed my tongue
straightway to say I should deem such an office a pride and honour.
'That is not all,' said Mr. Truelocke. 'Harry hath chosen to embrace a
dangerous wandering way of life, neither very glorious nor very
profitable. And his bride will have to spend many a sad lonely hour,
while her husband is tossing on the seas, and she sitting trembling at
home, deprived of his protection and doubtful of his fate.'
'That's a very odd way of recommending my suit, father,' said Harry, a
little uneasily.
'Nay, I have not done my recommendation,' replied Mr. Truelocke; 'let me
say all. You should further consider, Mistress Lucy, that this son of
mine is so light of spirit and careless of speech, that some will say he
has no constancy of disposition. I will not so far slander him, for I
know him better; but this I must say, for it is truth, that he has not
yet that confirmed and settled piety I should desire in the husband of
mine own daughter, if I had one. Now I have laid before you all the
disadvantages of the match, it is for you to say if you will have it.'
I wonder if ever a love-suit was so urged before? It made me heartily
angry to hear poor Harry so disparaged to his face, and to see him sit
so downcast, a cloud of angry colour mounting to his very forehead. I
suppose pity for him killed all my bashfulness, for I stood up, and said
passionately, I thought no worse of a man for having the bold
adventurous nature which loved seafaring; that was a noble trade, I
said, and our mariners the very flower of England; and as for light
spirit and merry speech, they were but flowers covering a rock, for
steadfast as a rock was the heart under that gay show.
'And if you speak of piety,' I wound up, 'I am sure Harry hath as much
of it as I have, at least; he has some faith, some love, and so I hope
have I; but we will help each other up to better things; and here is my
hand on it if he will take it.' With that I held out my hand to him, and
he sprang up and grasped it in both his, looking exultingly at his
father; it was a pleasure to see how his face had changed all in a
moment. Mr. Truelocke smiled, but he shook his head too, saying,--
'Well, children, I blame you not. The Lord will surely teach you and
lead you, it may be in ways you will not like; for it is on my mind that
you both have much to learn and much to suffer before your marriage day
shall dawn.'
And now Aunt Golding, who loved Harry, and never could endure to have
him crossed, began to laugh outright.
'I will own,' she said, 'I thought you very unmerciful to your good son,
Mr. Truelocke, while you continued to run him down so shamefully; but
now I see you took the right way to advance his cause. It's wonderful
what a spice of contradiction will do with a woman! Lucy, you would
never have made this bold, open confession without some such
provocation'--words which abashed me much, for they were true.
And now, no one present having a word more to say against it, Harry and
I exchanged rings; and Mr. Truelocke in a few pathetic words besought
Heaven's blessing on our contract. I do believe Harry would not have
been sorry could he have called me wife before he went away; but, every
one frowning on this fancy of his when he distantly hinted it, he did
not urge it; and truly the time was too short.
I was a little afraid of Althea, lest she should think I had every way
demeaned myself; but she never has owned that she thought so.
'These things go by destiny, little Lucy,' she said once. 'I am not
strong enough to control fate, and certainly you are not; so why should
I blame you? Were not all our follies written in the stars when we were
born?' I could not tell then what to make of her mocking words, knowing
how she despised what people call astrology.
As for Andrew, he could talk cheerfully of nothing at this time; and the
hopefullest word he could find for Harry and me was that though in these
evil days there could be no love-thoughts or marriage-thoughts for such
as him, he would not say they were forbidden to others; and he wished us
all the happiness we could get; poor cold words; but Harry said 'twas
wonderful Andrew could say as much on any worldly matter.
This was the manner of our betrothing; and, were it not for Harry's ring
still shining on my finger, and also for the odd unusual fashion of the
whole thing, which is what I never could have dreamt, I should be sadly
apt to think of it as a dream too pleasant to be true.
For within a day or two Harry had left us and gone to Hull, from which
port he sailed. I have never seen him since; also it is now a full
twelve-month since any letter from him reached us. Yet I cannot believe
he is dead; and if he is living, I know he is true; and living or dead,
I have a strong persuasion that my little ruby ring, which was my
mother's once, is on his finger still.
But many a time have I thought on Mr. Truelocke's words, how we both
should have much to learn and much to suffer before our marriage day. I
think the words be true.