MAJOR GENTIAN AND COLONEL J. BUNKUM

... As witness this long newspaper clipping without caption inserted in

somebody’s scrap-book.

‘Note that badge Major Gentian wears upon occasion. It is a military

badge. It is the badge of the national brotherhood of veterans in whose

Chapters the grade of the field is ignored, and the general salutes the

private--comrade! Is Major Gentian’s badge this badge?’ touching a

bronze button on his lapel. ‘Is it the badge of the Grand Army of the

Republic? No, men and brethren, it is another sort of badge. A badge

which by the original constitution of the order it symbolises was

restricted to the officers of the Army of the Revolution, to them, and

in primogeniture to their descendants. I remember long ago in my youth

the eldest son of a revolutionary officer, and as such an inheritor of

the Cincinnati badge, saying, over the Madeira, to his own son, then a

stripling, “My boy, if ever there is a recognised order of nobility in

this land, it will be formed of the sons of the officers of the

Revolution.” What a frank letting-out was that--thanks to the old

Madeira--of the spirit animating the Cincinnati in the second

generation, even as in the first. And to the Cincinnati Major Gentian

belongs; and he prides himself upon it; and his pride here makes him

throw back his shoulders, old man though he be--yea, and lends an inch

to his stature.

‘Now, gratefully and very fervently do we hold in reverence the memory

of the heroes of Seventy-six. Yet who but they founded this order? Did

John Hancock withstand King George’s tea-tax in the spirit of John

Hampden resisting King Charles’s impost of ship-money? Yes, so; but only

so. Unto John Hancock the rich merchant, no more than to John Hampden

the rich country gentleman of a prior generation, had any practical

purpose revealed the gospel of man’s unconditioned equality. Urge not

against this aught in the Declaration of Independence. For when the

passage “All men are born free and equal,” when that passage was being

written were not some of the signers legalised owners of slaves?

‘Too evident is it that in throwing off the British plush, the men of

Seventy-six did not shed the colonial skin. In divers respects, social

and political, they remained loyal to British tradition, though

justified rebels to the British crown. Assuredly no, in the

characterising significance of the word as now current, they can hardly

be considered _Americans_. It is we, their posterity, that are

Americans--we, the people, the sovereign American people, who from

English and European colonists have in process of time, and under the

special guidance of God, developed into _Americans_. And in view of all

this, does not Major Gentian’s Society, the Society of the Cincinnati,

lag among us as much out of place as would the old Spanish Order of the

Knights of the Holy Ghost.

‘I said just now that Major Gentian is vastly proud of his insignia, and

I will do him the justice of admitting that this is not altogether

because it is an aristocratic one, but in part because of its historic

significance. But ours is a practical age. Not altogether sentimentally

do we determine the relative greatness of events present and past. Into

such determinations, the elements of number, man, yea, and the no less

weighty element of cost, enter in. Well, then, there is Bunker Hill. A

famous good fight. Yes, indeed. But how much of a muster-roll? How much

of a pay-roll? Why, in Virginia we fought battles where a hundred

thousand and more would be engaged. While east, west, and south, our

files under arms fell not short of a million. And our war-debt, arising

in no small part from generous bounties and the regular army pay-roll,

soared aloft into two or three thousand millions. Then there is the

pension-roll. That, too, is on a scale commensurate with the colossal

magnitude of the Great Republic. Why is the blue ribbon of Major

Gentian’s badge bordered with white? Major Gentian will reply, very

likely, “That is in compliment to our revolutionary ally.” Indeed? But

is not white the heraldic colour of the Bourbons, one of whom still

preposterously advances his claim to the throne of liberated France?

What a fling, then, is this white border at the tricolour of our sister

the French Republic! Yes, and what a left-handed slur coming home to

ourselves. Men and brethren, for aught I know, an enlightened young

Englishman in superannuated old England may be at liberty to speak up

for democracy; but in energetic young America, much as we respect old

age, shall a hoary-headed old American be tolerated as an advocate of

monarchy, or, what is equivalent to that, parading under the Stars and

Stripes the craven _white_ of the monarchical Bourbons, the beggars? And

is such a man--I put it to your conscience--the sort of man to take

place with the law-makers of a people, the chosen people, the

advance-guard of progress, a friendly people, the Levite of the nations,

to whose custody Jehovah has entrusted the sacred ark of human freedom?

(Cries of “No, No,” and riotous applause.)

‘Thou laughest at this, Major, and, after laughing, pooh-poohest it:

“Bless you, I divine who it was said all that. But how? Why, much as a

blind musician infers who the unseen fiddler is by the twang of his

fiddle. It was Colonel Bunkum--Colonel Josiah Bunkum. And, of course, he

must have declaimed it at some political meeting--yes, I think I

remember reading some report of it--during the canvas, when my insistent

friends ran me for the legislature. Incidentally, I became acquainted

with Colonel Bunkum in Virginia, now more than five-and-twenty years

ago. A sunburnt whiskerando he was, whiskers bristling like a thorn

hedge; valiant, indeed, but of a contorted sort of valour, quite at odds

with the magnanimities and martial amenities. Ay, brave enough, you

understand, but no Chevalier Bayard. Less mature, too, in mind than in

muscle. Rash in opinion, very rash, headlong. Not a man of broad

judicial temper, sir, nor replete with the sapient humour and wise

patriarchal quality of our good old Father Abraham. You shall judge,

sir. Quoting Scripture, ‘My people perish through ignorance,’ and

applying it to the South, and chafing under McClellan’s Fabian tactics,

he was forthwith marching from the Potomac to the Gulf with a

wagon-train of Webster’s Spelling-Books, backed by another train of

heavy artillery. Shot and shell and spelling-books were to be

distributed broadcast and gratis, a sort of Mahommed, sir, of the

Malthusian sort. Strange, how the coolest valour may go along with a hot

brain-pan. Well, well, robust as ever, the colonel is now a

distinguished officer in the Grand Army; and finding that I, a

brother-veteran, refrain from joining it, and knowing naught of those

scruples, patriotic scruples, sir, which sway me; and, unfortunately,

without the intuition that might divine them, why, being more of a hero

than a philosopher, it puzzles him, it irritates him--he can’t help it,

it’s all natural enough--and so, dear me, for something tangible to bite

at very conscientiously, doubtless he snaps at my poor little ribbon

here. The good God enlighten and redeem him!”

‘That is charity, Major, Christian charity with a vengeance. But some of

us ere now have thought that by such charitable construings (or, are

they indolently stoical ones?) of words or actions not charitable, thy

failing to take the trouble to resent them, however absurd they may be,

and vindicate thyself, thou hast--and more than once or twice--been

something of a loser.’

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