T.

[Footnote 1: at truant]

[Footnote 2: loving]

* * * * *

No. 331. Thursday, March 20, 1712. Budgell.

Stolidam praebet tibi vellere barbam.

Pers.

When I was last with my Friend Sir ROGER in Westminster-Abby, I

observed that he stood longer than ordinary before the Bust of a

venerable old Man. I was at a loss to guess the Reason of it, when after

some time he pointed to the Figure, and asked me if I did not think that

our Fore-fathers looked much wiser in their Beards than we do without

them? For my part, says he, when I am walking in my Gallery in the

Country, and see my Ancestors, who many of them died before they were of

my Age, I cannot forbear regarding them as so many old Patriarchs, and

at the same time looking upon myself as an idle Smock-fac'd young

Fellow. I love to see your Abrahams, your Isaacs, and your Jacob's, as we

have them in old Pieces of Tapestry, with Beards below their Girdles,

that cover half the Hangings. The Knight added, if I would recommend

Beards in one of my Papers, and endeavour to restore human Faces to

their Ancient Dignity, that upon a Months warning he would undertake to

lead up the Fashion himself in a pair of Whiskers.

I smiled at my Friends Fancy; but after we parted, could not forbear

reflecting on the Metamorphoses our Faces have undergone in this

Particular.

The Beard, conformable to the Notion of my Friend Sir ROGER, was for

many Ages look'd upon as the Type of Wisdom. Lucian more than once

rallies the Philosophers of his Time, who endeavour'd to rival one

another in Beard; and represents a learned Man who stood for a

Professorship in Philosophy, as unqualify'd for it by the Shortness of

his Beard.

Ælian, in his Account of Zoilus, the pretended Critick, who wrote

against Homer and Plato, and thought himself wiser than all who had gone

before him, tells us that this Zoilus had a very long Beard that hung

down upon his Breast, but no Hair upon his Head, which he always kept

close shaved, regarding, it seems, the Hairs of his Head as so many

Suckers, which if they had been suffer'd to grow, might have drawn away

the Nourishment from his Chin, and by that means have starved his Beard.

I have read somewhere that one of the Popes refus'd to accept an Edition

of a Saints Works, which were presented to him, because the Saint in

his Effigies before the Book, was drawn without a Beard.

We see by these Instances what Homage the World has formerly paid to

Beards; and that a Barber was not then allow'd to make those

Depredations on the Faces of the Learned, which have been permitted him

of later Years.

Accordingly several wise Nations have been so extremely Jealous of the

least Ruffle offer'd to their Beard, that they seem to have fixed the

Point of Honour principally in that Part. The Spaniards were wonderfully

tender in this Particular.

Don Quevedo, in his third Vision on the Last Judgment, has carry'd the

Humour very far, when he tells us that one of his vain-glorious

Countrymen, after having receiv'd Sentence, was taken into custody by a

couple of evil Spirits; but that his Guides happening to disorder his

Mustachoes, they were forced to recompose them with a Pair of

Curling-irons before they could get him to file off.

If we look into the History of our own Nation, we shall find that the

Beard flourish'd in the Saxon Heptarchy, but was very much discourag'd

under the Norman Line. It shot out, however, from time to time, in

several Reigns under different Shapes. The last Effort it made seems to

have been in Queen Marys Days, as the curious Reader may find, if he

pleases to peruse the Figures of Cardinal Poole, and Bishop Gardiner;

tho at the same time, I think it may be question'd, if Zeal against

Popery has not induced our Protestant Painters to extend the Beards of

these two Persecutors beyond their natural Dimensions, in order to make

them appear the more terrible.

I find but few Beards worth taking notice of in the Reign of King James

the First.

During the Civil Wars there appeared one, which makes too great a Figure

in Story to be passed over in Silence; I mean that of the redoubted

Hudibras, an Account of which Butler has transmitted to Posterity in the

following Lines:

His tawny Beard was th' equal Grace

Both of his Wisdom, and his Face;

In Cut and Dye so like a Tyle,

A sudden View it would beguile:

The upper Part thereof was Whey,

The nether Orange mixt with Grey.

The Whisker continu'd for some time among us after the Expiration of

Beards; but this is a Subject which I shall not here enter upon, having

discussed it at large in a distinct Treatise, which I keep by me in

Manuscript, upon the Mustachoe.

If my Friend Sir ROGERS Project, of introducing Beards, should take

effect, I fear the Luxury of the present Age would make it a very

expensive Fashion. There is no question but the Beaux would soon provide

themselves with false ones of the lightest Colours, and the most

immoderate Lengths. A fair Beard, of the Tapestry-Size Sir ROGER seems

to approve, could not come under twenty Guineas. The famous Golden Beard

of Æsculapius would hardly be more valuable than one made in the

Extravagance of the Fashion.

Besides, we are not certain that the Ladies would not come into the

Mode, when they take the Air on Horse-back. They already appear in Hats

and Feathers, Coats and Perriwigs; and I see no reason why we should not

suppose that they would have their Riding-Beards on the same Occasion.

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