_Mr_. SPECTATOR,
The Occasion of this Letter is of so great Importance, and the
Circumstances of it such, that I know you will but think it just to
insert it, in Preference of all other Matters that can present
themselves to your Consideration. I need not, after I have said this,
tell you that I am in Love. The Circumstances of my Passion I shall
let you understand as well as a disordered Mind will admit. That
cursed Pickthank Mrs. _Jane!_ Alas, I am railing at one to you by her
Name as familiarly as if you were acquainted with her as well as my
self: But I will tell you all, as fast as the alternate Interruptions
of Love and Anger will give me Leave. There is a most agreeable young
Woman in the World whom I am passionately in Love with, and from whom
I have for some space of Time received as great Marks of Favour as
were fit for her to give, or me to desire. The successful Progress of
the Affair of all others the most essential towards a Man's Happiness,
gave a new Life and Spirit not only to my Behaviour and Discourse, but
also a certain Grace to all my Actions in the Commerce of Life in all
Things tho never so remote from Love. You know the predominant
Passion spreads its self thro all a Man's Transactions, and exalts or
depresses [him [2]] according to the Nature of such Passion. But alas,
I have not yet begun my Story, and what is making Sentences and
Observations when a Man is pleading for his Life? To begin then: This
Lady has corresponded with me under the Names of Love, she my
_Belinda_, I her _Cleanthes_. Tho I am thus well got into the Account
of my Affair, I cannot keep in the Thread of it so much as to give you
the Character of Mrs. _Jane_, whom I will not hide under a borrowed
Name; but let you know that this Creature has been since I knew her
very handsome, (tho I will not allow her even she _has been_ for the
future) and during the Time of her Bloom and Beauty was so great a
Tyrant to her Lovers, so over-valued her self and under-rated all her
Pretenders, that they have deserted her to a Man; and she knows no
Comfort but that common one to all in her Condition, the Pleasure of
interrupting the Amours of others. It is impossible but you must have
seen several of these Volunteers in Malice, who pass their whole Time
in the most labourous Way of Life in getting Intelligence, running
from Place to Place with new Whispers, without reaping any other
Benefit but the Hopes of making others as unhappy as themselves. Mrs.
_Jane_ happened to be at a Place where I, with many others well
acquainted with my Passion for _Belinda_, passed a _Christmas_
Evening. There was among the rest a young Lady so free in Mirth, so
amiable in a just Reserve that accompanied it; I wrong her to call it
a Reserve, but there appeared in her a Mirth or Chearfulness which was
not a Forbearance of more immoderate Joy, but the natural Appearance
of all which could flow from a Mind possessed of an Habit of Innocence
and Purity. I must have utterly forgot _Belinda_ to have taken no
Notice of one who was growing up to the same womanly Virtues which
shine to Perfection in her, had I not distinguished one who seemed to
promise to the World the same Life and Conduct with my faithful and
lovely _Belinda_. When the Company broke up, the fine young Thing
permitted me to take Care of her Home. Mrs. _Jane_ saw my particular
Regard to her, and was informed of my attending her to her Fathers
House. She came early to _Belinda_ the next Morning, and asked her if
Mrs. _Such-a-one_ had been with her? No. If Mr. _Such-a-ones_ Lady?
No. Nor your Cousin _Such-a-one_? No. Lord, says Mrs. _Jane_, what is
the Friendship of Woman?--Nay, they may laugh at it. And did no one
tell you any thing of the Behaviour of your Lover Mr. _What dye call_
last Night? But perhaps it is nothing to you that he is to be married
to young Mrs.--on _Tuesday_ next? _Belinda_ was here ready to die with
Rage and Jealousy. Then Mrs. _Jane_ goes on: I have a young Kinsman
who is Clerk to a Great Conveyancer, who shall shew you the rough
Draught of the Marriage Settlement. The World says her Father gives
him Two Thousand Pounds more than he could have with you. I went
innocently to wait on _Belinda_ as usual, but was not admitted; I writ
to her, and my Letter was sent back unopened. Poor _Betty_ her Maid,
who is on my Side, has been here just now blubbering, and told me the
whole Matter. She says she did not think I could be so base; and that
she is now odious to her Mistress for having so often spoke well of
me, that she dare not mention me more. All our Hopes are placed in
having these Circumstances fairly represented in the SPECTATOR, which
_Betty_ says she dare not but bring up as soon as it is brought in;
and has promised when you have broke the Ice to own this was laid
between us: And when I can come to an Hearing, the young Lady will
support what we say by her Testimony, that I never saw her but that
once in my whole Life. Dear Sir, do not omit this true Relation, nor
think it too particular; for there are Crowds of forlorn Coquets who
intermingle themselves with other Ladies, and contract Familiarities
out of Malice, and with no other Design but to blast the Hopes of
Lovers, the Expectation of Parents, and the Benevolence of Kindred. I
doubt not but I shall be,
_SIR,
Your most obliged
humble Servant_,
CLEANTHES.
_Wills_ Coffee-house, _Jan_. 10.
_SIR_,
The other Day entering a Room adorned with the Fair Sex, I offered,
after the usual Manner, to each of them a Kiss; but one, more scornful
than the rest, turned her Cheek. I did not think it proper to take any
Notice of it till I had asked your Advice.
_Your humble Servant_,
E. S.
The Correspondent is desir'd to say which Cheek the Offender turned to
him.
[Footnote 1:
Ubi visus eris nostra medicabilis arte
Fac monitis fugias otia prima meis.