COLLECTING TAXES OF THE MINERS.
About a week after the inspector had received his injuries, he was
enabled to get out, and one afternoon he sent word that if we were
desirous of accompanying him on his tax collecting expedition he should
be happy of our company, and that if we were disposed to go we had
better meet him at his office, on horseback, at two o'clock.
As it was near the hour when we received the invitation, we lost no time
in getting ready, and we were on the spot promptly.
About, thirty policemen were drawn up in front of the office, awaiting
the appearance of the inspector, who was examining the books in which
were recorded the names of the tax-paying miners, checking those who had
refused to pay at the end of the previous month, and placing a cross
against the names of miners who had worked out their taxes on the road,
on the ground that they had not made enough out of their claims to allow
government the large sum of thirty-four shillings per month.
The tax applied to all, and there was no chance to evade it. The
fortunate and unfortunate were alike liable to the officers of the
crown, knowing no distinction, so they said; but I found before the
close of the day that that assertion was a fallacy, and that there was a
favorite class at Ballarat, and that they were rarely troubled by the
inspector's visits, and if short of money were seldom required to pay
taxes.
"I am glad that you have come," Mr. Brown said, hastily glancing from
the large books before him to welcome us; "we are going through with our
monthly ceremony, and I thought you would like to witness it. It is not
an agreeable one, I confess, but duty compels me to do many things that
I disapprove of."
"In what quarter will your honor go first?" asked the sergeant of the
police squad, addressing the inspector.
"The Irish district," returned Mr. Brown. "We can then," he continued,
"strike into the Chinamen's quarters, and visit our folks on our way
home."
As we rode up, a number of Irishmen were smoking their pipes at the
entrance of their tents or huts, evidently expecting us, for it was
tax-collecting day, and they knew very well that government would not
let the opportunity pass of adding to its wealth. No surprise was
manifested, therefore, when our force halted, and those within hearing
were requested to bring out their gold.
"Is it there ye are, Mr. Brown?" cried an old fellow, who was called Pat
Regan. "It's wishing to see yer face this many a day I've desired, long
life to ye, and it's dead I feared ye was."
"Is your tax ready?" asked the inspector, shortly, being accustomed to
the blarney of the man.
"Whist! What blackguard would be after thinking of money, or taxes, or
any thing else when yer honor is near? Will yer enter me tent and
partake of me hospitalities?" demanded Pat, with a serious face, and a
show of politeness that was refreshing, knowing as I did that it was
intended as burlesque.
"Don't stand there chattering, but hand over your month's taxes,"
replied Mr. Brown, sternly, not liking the smiles that he saw on the
faces of Pat's friends, who were clustered around enjoying the
conversation.
"Ah, glory to God, but it's lucky men we are to have so kind-hearted an
inspector, so that when we is unfortunate he knows how to have
compassion on us. Lads," Pat continued, turning to the crowd, "don't
forget to mention Mr. Brown in your prayers, 'cos he's overlooked the
trifling sum that I owe him."
This long harangue was received with shouts of laughter, during the
continuance of which Mr. Pat Kegan stood before the inspector, with hat
in hand, and a face as demure as though no deviltry was at work within
his heart.
Mr. Brown did not reply, but made an almost imperceptible motion to the
sergeant of the force. The latter, and a private, quietly dismounted,
produced a pair of handcuffs, and before Mr. Regan had recovered from
his surprise, a sharp click was heard, and he was a prisoner, both
wrists being confined by a pair of stout steel bracelets.
"What is the meaning of this?" demanded Mr. Regan, with a show of
indignation. "I'm a subject of the queen, and a free-born Irishman, and
it's kings me ancestors were six hundred years ago. It's little they
thought that one of the blood of the Regans would be used in this way."
The inspector paid no attention to his words, but occupied himself with
receiving money from a number of miners who were disposed to pay their
taxes without a murmur, and didn't wish the bother of a dispute.
"Move on," said Mr. Brown, at length, and the cavalcade started with Pat
Regan in the centre.
"Mr. Brown--inspector dear--O darling, listen to me for a moment," cried
out our Irish friend.
"Well, what is wanting?" inquired our chief, halting.
"And what is ye taking me off for?" asked Regan, indignantly.
"For non-payment of taxes."
"And who refused to pay taxes?--tell me that, Mr. Brown."
"You declined paying; so of course you will have to devote the next
three days to work on the road. Move on."
"Hold a minute, Mr. Brown, for here's the money; but it's little good it
will do ye, mind what I say, for to-night I shall write to my friend the
governor-general, and relate the circumstance of this arrest, and me
money will be sent back with many an apology, let me tell ye. It's a
relation I am of the governor's, his wife being a Regan on the side of
me grandfather; and it's many a time I've talked with her ladyship when
we went to school together in the county of Cork."
This speech was also received with shouts of laughter by those
assembled, and even while Pat was paying over his dust he continued to
grumble and threaten; and when we got clear of him he bade us adieu with
a mocking smile, perfectly satisfied to think that he had delayed us all
that he was able to, and that if he did ultimately have to pay over the
money, he afforded sport enough for his companions to last a week.
"Is that a sample of the difficulties that you have to encounter?" I
asked of the inspector, as we left a portion of the Irish district
behind us, and approached another quarter, where the inhabitants did not
appear to be doing so well in their operations.
"If we never encountered worse cases than that I should be contented,"
Mr. Brown replied. "I knew that Pat had the money, for he had served me
in that manner half a dozen times; but I also knew that he had a great
reluctance against working on the road, and that to save himself he
would even sell a portion of his claim, if that was necessary. He has
made money since he has worked in the mines, and I will do Pat the
justice of saying that, with the exception of celebrating St. Patrick's
Day, he knows how to save it."
As he ceased speaking, we drew up before a ragged hut, at the entrance
of which stood a stout Irishwoman, with a terrible dirty-faced child in
her arms.
"It's little ye'll get here," she shouted, shaking her huge fists at
the inspector, and spanking the child, who set up a roar of fright. "Go
on, an' the divil be wid ye, for not a ha'penny do ye get."
"Now we shall hear lying," muttered the inspector, when he saw a grin
upon our faces. "Of all the she devils in the mines, she is the worst."
"Tell Mike that we want his license fee," Mr. Brown said, addressing the
huge female, who varied her time in spanking her child and making faces
at the police force.
"To the divil wid ye and yer fees, ye lazy spalpeens. There's no money
in the house, and if there was ye shouldn't have it. Do ye think that I
can pick up goold like dirt? or what do ye think?"
"Come, come, Judy," the inspector said, "we have heard your complaints
so often that we don't believe them. Let me have the thirty-four
shillings without delay."
"Who do you call Judy? I'm Mrs. Michael O'Flaherty, and a bitter husband
and one more honest don't exist; and that's more than I can say of some
women who's got husbands tied to 'em. It's little ye think I know of ye;
so don't, if ye valey yer reputations, stand there chattering, but pass
on to thim that gets the money."
"We are not afraid of our reputation, Judy," the inspector said. "We
know that you are bad, but we don't believe that you can corrupt the
whole of the squad."
"O, ye murdering villains, to thus slander an honest female who has only
her vartue to protect her." Then raising her voice as though to attract
the attention of some one within the house, she shouted, in satirical
language, "It's little me husband cares about me, or he'd niver stand by
and see me treated thus, and I niver making the least complaint in the
world. It's mighty fine husbands there is in the world now, and it's
little use they are to us fable females."
As though to avenge her injuries on some one, she gave the child a rap
over a certain portion of his anatomy that presented the broadest disk,
and his wild howls were heard for half a mile.
"If there's law to be had in this country I'll have it," Judy continued,
growing more excited as she recited her wrongs. "If ye want yer tax, why
don't ye come here after it in a dacent fashion, and not begin by
insulting me and me own, and then frightening the child out of its wits.
Didn't yer mothers larn ye manners at all, and do ye think we can stand
all sorts of barbarities?"
Before the inspector could return an answer, a stout, broad-shouldered
fellow sneaked to the door, and his appearance was greeted with
laughter.
"We have unkennelled the fox, have we?" the sergeant of the squad said.
"Hitherto we have had to dig for him."
"Come, Mike, where is your tax?" asked the inspector, in a mild tone.
"He's no money, I tell ye," screamed the woman, shaking one of her huge
fists at the officer in a defiant manner, and glancing towards her lord,
as though warning him of the consequences of gainsaying her word. "I've
told ye that he'd no money, and now be off, and the divil go wid ye."
"Pace, Judy, dear," remonstrated Mike, in a subdued tone; "it's the
police who always behave like rale gentlemen."
"Hear him," screamed the indignant woman, "turn upon his own lawful,
married wife, and abuse her like a baste. Why don't ye bite me in two,
ye little brat?"
She gave her child a shake that made him think there was an earthquake,
and then supplied him with a liberal allowance of food that kind nature
had wisely provided for the purpose of keeping children quiet, even for
a few minutes.
"Whist, Judy; don't be after trating the child that way," remonstrated
the father, who appeared to have some spirit when the welfare of his
heir was concerned.
"Ah, go on insulting me--don't spare reproaches. I'm defenceless now."
Woman's last resource, tears, were quickly called up, and under their
shadow Mike sneaked towards us, as though about to pay his money and
have done with the trouble; but before he could accomplish his good
resolution the woman had cleared her eyes, and in a voice that started
us, yelled,--
"Mike, ye divil, come here this instant."
The hen-pecked husband did not dare to disobey. He cast an imploring,
half-sheepish look towards his wife.
"We have delayed long enough," Mr. Brown said. "Sergeant, put on the
irons."
The sergeant dismounted quite coolly, and summoned six men to his
assistance. I noticed that the officers did not display any great
alacrity, and acted as though quite ashamed of the duty that they were
to enter upon.
"The sergeant means to have assistance enough," Fred remarked,
addressing the inspector.
"You will see," the latter returned; and we did, sure enough; for no
sooner did the officers lay hands upon Michael than the woman dropped
her child, and with a wild shout threw herself upon them. The first poor
devil whom she spotted lost a handful of hair--but as it was as red as
fire it was no great sacrifice to the owner--the second had a piece of
skin clawed off his nose, and the third reluctantly parted with a piece
of flesh weighing nearly a quarter of an ounce, torn forcibly from his
cheek. The police endeavored to keep her at arms' length without
success--she broke down their defences, and clawed the hair from their
heads in the most scientific manner; and yet she had all the fighting to
do, for Michael remained in the custody of two officers without offering
to strike a blow for liberty.
The war was at length fiercely contested, for the officers, finding that
they were likely to be placed _hors du combat_, made a rush towards the
Amazon; and while two seized her arms, two more grasped her legs, and I
am obliged to confess that the police did not display much delicacy in
the latter operation. In spite of her struggles--in defiance of her
imprecations, and calls for Mike to interfere in her behalf--she was
carried bodily towards the hut, and poised in the air for a moment; and
then, with a "one, two, three, and away she goes," was thrown head
foremost through the door, and landed in the middle of the hut all in a
heap.
"You have kilt me wife," moaned Mike, who watched the operation With
considerable anxiety for his better half.
"Hang her, she's skinned me from head to foot," muttered one of the
officers, wiping his bleeding face on a handkerchief, and showing his
wounds to the inspector.
"Skinned!" echoed another; "if she had only taken skin I shouldn't mind
it much; but, blast her, she has torn flesh and muscle from my face."
"I'm sorry for your misfortunes, but we will have her arrested on a
warrant to-morrow, and fined," the inspector said. "Bring Mike along,
and set him at work on the roads for a few days."
"Arrah, now, Mr. Inspector, don't be after doing that," shouted the
Irishman; but in defiance of his cries he was handcuffed and driven
along with the rest.
We had got a few yards from the hut when Mrs. Judy appeared at the door,
looking a little the worse for her late usage. Her hair was hanging over
her shoulders, and her dress was torn in a dozen places. Both feet were
bare, and none too clean; but little she cared for her appearance just
then.
"For the love of St. Patrick, Mr. Inspector, stop a minute, and don't be
after carrying away Mike, the poor, harmless divil. Lave him here wid
me, and we'll pay the tax without a murmur."
"Too late," cried Mr. Brown, without turning his head, although I could
see that he was disposed to come to terms.
"Ough, don't say that, bless yer handsome face and yer kind heart. What
could I do, sure, widout me Mike? Lave him here wid me, and if the
blackguard has been insulting ye I'll punish him, depind upon it."
"It's not of your husband that we complain," the inspector said; "he
would act decently, and pay his tax, if you would let him."
"Ah, then--glory to God--poor Mike is safe; and I thought all along that
he wouldn't disgrace his Judy so much as to refuse what a just gentleman
like ye demands. Pay the officer the tax, and say no more about it. It's
but a trifle."
The sergeant looked at Mr. Brown, and the latter glanced at the
sergeant. There was but little use in making Mike work on the road, if
he had the money to pay for his month's mining; so a halt was called,
and the woman quickly poured out dust enough from a cracked teacup to
satisfy the demands of government, and then Mike was restored to the
dirty arms of his better half.
"I hope that all the taxes collected do not come as hard as this," Fred
said, addressing the inspector.
"They all pay out their money with an ill grace; but our worst cases,
with one exception, are over."
As we passed through the several districts, many of the miners stood
ready with their gold, and after answering to their names, paid their
taxes without a murmur; and even while disputes were going on, they did
not prevent the clerks who accompanied us from attending to their
duties.
All those who did not possess the cash were required to follow in our
train, as captives, to work out a certain amount on the roads. Men who
had been sick, and were incapable of raising ten shillings, were shown
no indulgence whatever; and although we often interceded, and our wishes
were granted in every case, yet we felt that the inspector's orders
were rigid, and that we were imposing upon good nature, to make requests
in every instance where poverty compelled a miner to decline paying his
tax.
At length we reached the Chinese district, and the Celestials turned out
in great numbers to receive us. Many handed the clerks the money that
was due without a word of comment, and we experienced no trouble until
we reached the quarters of Yam Kow, an old fellow whose tail reached to
the ground, and who was reported to be the most miserly of all the
Chinese at Ballarat. That he had money there was no doubt, for he was
always at work, or trading with his countrymen, and he was never known
to spend a shilling for clothing or food. What he lived on was unknown,
and could only be conjectured; but it was said that Kow had been seen
nights setting traps for snakes and rats, and even lizards were
considered quite delicate meat for him.
Traps of most ingenious and cunning device were also set for birds, and
Kow had been known to waste a few grains of rice, for the purpose of
attracting them to his fatal snares.
The bodies of the birds were sold by Kow, and if he could find no
market, he would hold on to them until he did; and if, after all his
trouble, none of his countrymen were disposed to buy, the unhappy
Chinaman would devour them himself; and even if fly-blown and slightly
decomposed, it made no difference to Kow; his greatest anxiety was on
account of not being able to get a shilling for the body of the bird
that he was at length compelled to eat. With the plumage of the
birds--and the feathers of the birds of Australia are of the most gaudy
hue--he made, during evenings, rare trinkets, and magnificent wreaths,
and sold them to miners at a fair price, to be taken home as
curiosities. I had a box filled with such articles, and which I valued
highly; but they were lost on my voyage home, while crossing the Isthmus
of Suez.
We found old Yam Kow seated before his hut, which was made of bits of
sticks, pieces of boards, stones, and mud, all cemented and fitted
together in the neatest manner, and what was more wonderful than all,
perfectly water tight, and as clean inside as possible.
The old man was hard at work, or pretended to be, on one of his wreaths,
and seemed not to notice that we were halting in front of his abode.
"Hullo, Yam Kow!" cried the inspector, "putty mi more money, hey?" which
barbarous jargon, it seems, is always considered necessary to use when
talking with a Chinese, no matter whether the latter understands English
or not.
The true meaning of Mr. Brown's interrogation was, whether Yam's tax
money was ready or not.
"No hab," returned the Chinaman, without looking up.
"How, no hab?--putty mi more day. No can see?" demanded Mr. Brown.
"No hab," repeated the old fellow, continuing his work industriously.
"Why no hab?" the inspector asked.
"All go--buy ricey--buy torayun tan pon, and no hab."
"Then workey on rodey ten (holding up his fingers) day. Chinaman no good
for shovel--work more days Englishman. Come." "No can come now. Pay
money by by," the Chinaman said, thinking that his promise to pay before
long would suffice.
"Pay money now--no pay money now, go!" repeated the inspector, who
managed to make himself understood.
"No pay," the old fellow said, and as the sounds escaped his lips, the
sergeant dismounted from his horse and approached him.
"Come," that worthy said, and he laid his huge hand upon the Celestial,
in close proximity to his pigtail.
"No go," repeated Yam.
"Start your stumps," cried the policeman; and he lifted the Chinaman
from the ground by his pigtail, and almost held him at arm's length.
"Me pay! me pay!" he roared, to the great delight of the police, and a
few of Yam's countrymen who were standing near.
The sergeant released the old fellow, and he rapidly uttered a number of
expressions in his native tongue, that I will swear were not
complimentary to the English character.
After he had thus vented his anger, he drew from the folds of his inside
trousers a little bag of dust, which, upon being weighed, was found to
contain just the amount, to a scale, that was required for the payment
of his tax, and after checking his name, we rode on.
In this manner the tax was collected from the miners of Ballarat.