[Illustration: IN THE DAYS OF AULD LANGSIDE.
_The Despatch-Bearer._ "EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT THE QUEEN IS HERE. YOU
ARE REQUESTED TO MAKE AS LITTLE NOISE AS POSSIBLE, AND, ABOVE ALL, _NO
BLOODSHED_."
_Bothwell (to Mary, Queen of Scots)._ "IF YOU WOULD DEIGN TO TURN
YOUR HEAD A LITTLE, DEAR MADAM, YOU WILL FIND THAT THE BATTLE IS OVER
HERE."]
[Illustration: _The Cheshire Cat._ "I NEVER GET TIRED OF THIS STORY
ABOUT DICK WHITTINGTON."]
[Illustration: _The Profiteer's Wife (sadly)._ "POOR WILLIAM HASN'T
BEEN HIMSELF SINCE ARMISTICE DAY."]
[Illustration: _The Man (listening to the lark and quoting the poet)._
"UP WITH ME, UP WITH ME INTO THE CLOUDS."
_The Lady_. "OH, JOHN, LET US STAY HERE. I DON'T FEEL IN AN AVIATING
MOOD TO-DAY."]
[Illustration: _The Spoilt Beauty._ "WHAT ROTTEN LUCK! I SIMPLY
_DAREN'T_ GO JAZZING WITH THIS BLACK EYE!"]
[Illustration: "THE SCRAP OF PAPER." _Both (mentally)._ "WHAT A FINE
DRAMATIC SUBJECT THIS WOULD MAKE FOR AN ACADEMY PICTURE!"]
[Illustration: MISS WINNIE WENDOVER SELECTS HER COSTUMES FOR THE NEW
REVUE. THE CHARMING AND TYPICALLY ENGLISH ACTRESS IN HER DELIGHTFUL
TURKISH BUNGALOW NEAR STAINES.]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Billiard-marker (awed by rank of visitor--a foreign
prince who has joined in a game of pool)._ "SHOULD I CALL 'IM 'YER
ROYAL 'IGHNESS, SIR, OR 'SPOT YALLER'?"]
* * * * *