WE PREPARE TO SINK OUR SHIP
Towards midnight there was a slight distraction. A half-flotilla of
destroyers relieved our escort-ships--with the exception of the
_Bluebell_, which remained as leader. The other cruisers again turned
west. The night was so clear that we could clearly observe every detail
in our neighbourhood. Northwards we noticed now and again the lights of
passing vessels. If only a submarine would come along now and cut us
out! But none came; and as the moon was now beginning to show there
could be no doubt that our expedition, which had begun so splendidly,
must come to an abrupt termination in a few hours' time.
I therefore ordered the crew on to the bridge and told them with heavy
heart that, if unexpected help did not arrive, I should be compelled to
blow up the _Aud_ next morning, as the ship must, under no
circumstances, fall into the hands of the enemy.
They listened to me seriously and in silence. Then they eased their
hearts by raining a torrent of curses on the heads of the English, which
proved to me that they were no less disappointed than myself at this
unhappy ending. All our brave and splendid dreams had come to naught,
and we now lay impotent in the claws of our deadly enemies.
During the short time which elapsed before the moon rose, we busied
ourselves in doing some important jobs. In the first place we burned
everything of a secret nature. The burning of our papers I looked after
personally. All valuable materials which could not be burned were
carefully dropped overboard. Of course, it was possible, though not
probable, that the explosion might not be effective; and to provide for
this contingency I had to get rid of everything that might incriminate
us. For an instant I entertained the idea of fetching up a couple of
machine-guns out of our cargo and mounting them on deck, but gave it up
again. It would have been senseless to attack our heavily-armed escort
with a machine-gun and risk a battle, especially as my crew were not
used to this weapon, which was of the latest army pattern. Each time
when we let some dark object down the side into the water the escorting
vessels shot away. They must have been horribly afraid of us. The
officers of the _Bluebell_ told me later on that they thought we were
dropping mines! All night through they had been expecting us to suddenly
open our gun-ports and rain shells on them. They had estimated my crew
at 150. What a pity this was not the case! Who knows what might have
been the result!
I now made an inspection of the ship and satisfied myself that all
preparations had been made for blowing her up, examined the explosive
charges, incendiary bombs and detonators, and then got ready our German
naval flags, so that they could be run up in an instant.
If an opportunity offered I intended to ram the _Bluebell_ or one of
her consorts, and then blow up the ship, so that we should not go down
alone. But it looked almost as if the English scented my plan, for they
kept at a respectful distance and instantly turned away whenever I
altered course even for a moment--a proof that they kept a jolly good
look-out.