We rode on at daybreak. At the first large village I bid a little man
cut Paddy's hair, and although Paddy was all for killing the little
man, and the little man twice ran away, the work was eventually done,
for I stood over Paddy and threatened him. Afterward the little boys
were not so anxious to hoot us through the streets, calling us
Africans. For it must be recalled that at this time there was great
curiosity in the provinces over the Africans, because it was known
that in London people of fashion often had African servants; and
although London cared nothing for the provinces, and the provinces
cared nothing for London, still the rumour of the strange man
interested the country clodhopper so greatly that he called Paddy an
African on principle, in order that he might blow to his neighbours
that he had seen the fascinating biped. There was no general
understanding that the African was a man of black skin; it was only
understood that he was a great marvel. Hence the urchins in these
far-away villages often ran at the heels of Paddy's horse, yelling.
In time the traffic on the highway became greatly thickened, and
several times we thought we were entering London because of the large
size and splendour of the towns to which we came. Paddy began to fear
the people had been deceiving us as to the road, and that we had
missed London entirely. But finally we came to a river with hundreds
of boats upon it, and there was a magnificent bridge, and on the other
bank was a roaring city, and through the fog the rain came down thick
as the tears of the angels. "That's London," said I.
We rode out upon the bridge, all much interested, but somewhat
fearful, for the noise of the city was terrible. But if it was
terrible as we approached it, I hesitate to say what it was to us when
we were once fairly in it. "Keep close to me," I yelled to Paddy and
Jem, and they were not unwilling. And so we rode into this
pandemonium, not having the least idea where we were going.
As we progressed I soon saw what occasioned the major part of the
noise. Many heavy carts thundered slowly through the narrow, echoing
streets, bumping their way uproariously over a miserable pavement.
Added to this, of course, were the shrill or hoarse shouts of the
street vendors and the apprentices at the shop-doors. To the sky arose
an odour almost insupportable, for it was new to us all.
The eaves of the houses streamed with so much water that the sidewalks
were practically untenable, although here and there a hardy wayfarer
strode on regardless of a drenched cloak, probably being too proud to
take to the street. Once our travel was entirely blocked by a fight. A
butcher in a bloody apron had dashed out of his shop and attacked the
driver of a brewer's sledge. A crowd gathered miraculously and cheered
on this spectacle; women appeared at all the windows; urchins hooted;
mongrel dogs barked. When the butcher had been worsted and chased
back into his shop by the maddened brewer we were allowed to pursue
our journey.
I must remark that neither of these men used aught but his hands.
Mostly their fists were doubled, and they dealt each other sounding,
swinging blows; but there was some hair-pulling, and when the brewer
had the butcher down I believe the butcher tried to bite his
opponent's ear. However they were rather high-class for their
condition. I found out later that at this time in the darker parts of
London the knife was a favourite weapon of the English and was as
rampant as ever it is in the black alleys of an Italian city. It was
no good news for me, for the Irish had long been devoted to the
cudgel.
When I wish for information I always prefer making the request to a
gentleman. To have speech of a boor is well enough if he would not
first study you over to find, if he can, why you want the information,
and, after a prolonged pause, tell you wrong entirely. I perceived a
young gentleman standing in under a porch and ogling a window on the
opposite side of the way. "Sir," said I, halting my horse close to
him, "would you be so kind as to point to a stranger the way to a good
inn?" He looked me full in the face, spat meaningly in the gutter,
and, turning on his heel, walked away. And I will give oath he was not
more than sixteen years old.
I sat stiff in the saddle; I felt my face going hot and cold. This
new-feathered bird with a toy sword! But to save me, as it happened,
from a preposterous quarrel with this infant, another man came along
the sidewalk. He was an older man, with a grave mouth and a clean-cut
jowl. I resolved to hail him. "And now my man," said I under my
breath, "if you are as bad as the other, by the mass, I'll have a
turnover here with you, London or no London."
Then I addressed him. "Sir--" I began. But here a cart roared on my
other side, and I sat with my mouth open, looking at him. He smiled a
little, but waited courteously for the hideous din to cease. "Sir," I
was enabled to say at last, "would you be so kind as to point to a
stranger the way to a good inn?" He scanned me quietly, in order, no
doubt, to gain an idea what kind of inn would suit my condition.
"Sir," he answered, coming into the gutter and pointing, "'tis this
way to Bishopsgate Street, and there you will see the sign of the 'Pig
and Turnip,' where there is most pleasurable accommodation for man and
beast, and an agreeable host." He was a shop-keeper of the city of
London, of the calm, steady breed that has made successive kings
either love them or fearingly hate them,--the bone and the sinew of
the great town.
I thanked him heartily, and we went on to the "Pig and Turnip." As we
clattered into the inn yard it was full of people mounting and
dismounting, but there seemed a thousand stable-boys. A dozen flung
themselves at my horse's head. They quite lifted me out of the saddle
in their great care that I should be put to no trouble. At the door of
the inn a smirking landlord met me, bowing his head on the floor at
every backward pace, and humbly beseeching me to tell how he could
best serve me. I told him, and at once there was a most pretentious
hubbub. Six or eight servants began to run hither and yon. I was
delighted with my reception, but several days later I discovered they
had mistaken me for a nobleman of Italy or France, and I was expected
to pay extravagantly for graceful empty attentions rather than for
sound food and warm beds.
This inn was so grand that I saw it would no longer do for Paddy and
Jem to be sleeping in front of my fire like big dogs, so I nodded
assent when the landlord asked if he should provide lodgings for my
two servants. He packed them off somewhere, and I was left lonely in a
great chamber. I had some fears having Paddy long out of my sight, but
I assured myself that London had such terrors for him he would not
dare any Irish mischief. I could trust Jem Bottles to be discreet, for
he had learned discretion in a notable school.
Toward the close of the afternoon, the rain ceased, and, attiring
myself for the street and going to the landlord, I desired him to tell
me what interesting or amusing walk could now conveniently be taken by
a gentleman who was a stranger to the sights of London. The man wagged
his head in disapproval.
"'Twill be dark presently, sir," he answered, "and I would be an ill
host if I did not dissuade a perfect stranger from venturing abroad in
the streets of London of a night-time."
"And is it as bad as that?" I cried, surprised.
"For strangers, yes," said he. "For they be for ever wandering, and
will not keep to the three or four streets which be as safe as the
King's palace. But if you wish, sir, I will provide one man with a
lantern and staff to go before you, and another man with lantern and
staff to follow. Then, with two more stout lads and your own servants,
I would venture--"
"No, no!" I cried, "I will not head an army on a night march when I
intended merely an evening stroll. But how, pray you, am I to be
entertained otherwise than by going forth?"
The innkeeper smiled with something like pity.
"Sir, every night there meets here such a company of gay gentlemen,
wits and poets, as would dazzle the world did it but hear one half of
what they say over their pipes and their punch. I serve the
distinguished company myself, for I dare trust nobody's care in a
matter so important to my house; and I assure you, sir, I have at
times been so doubled with mirth there was no life in me. Why, sir,
Mr. Fullbil himself comes here at times!"
"Does he, indeed?" I cried, although I never had heard of the
illustrious man.
"Indeed and he does, sir," answered the innkeeper, pleased at my quick
appreciation of this matter. "And then there is goings on, I warrant
me. Mr. Bobbs and the other gentlemen will be in spirits."
"I never doubt you," said I. "But is it possible for a private
gentleman of no wit to gain admittance to this distinguished company?"
"Doth require a little managing, sir," said he, full of meaning.
"Pray you manage it then," said I, "for I have nought to do in London
for at least two days, and I would be seeing these famous men with
whose names my country rings."
Early in the evening the innkeeper came to me, much pleased. "Sir, the
gentlemen bid me bring you their compliments, and I am to say they
would be happy to have a pleasure in the honour of your presence. Mr.
Fullbil himself is in the chair to-night. You are very fortunate,
sir."
"I am," said I. "Lead away, and let us hope to find the great Fullbil
in high feather."