"So that is the way of it, is it?" said the Earl, grinning. "And why
did you not take it to some clerk?"
"My lord," said I with dignity, "the papers were with me in trust for
you. A man may be a gentleman and yet not know how to read and write."
"'Tis quite true," answered he.
"And when I spoke of the tutor in London I did not mean to say that I
would use what knowledge he imparted to read your papers. I was merely
blushing for the defects in my education, although Father Donovan
often said that I knew half as much as he did, poor man, and him a
holy father. If you care to so direct me, I can go even now to my
chamber and make shift to read the papers."
"The Irish possess a keen sense of honour," said he admiringly.
"We do," said I. "We possess more integrity and perfect sense of
honour than any other country in the world, although they all say the
same of themselves, and it was my own father who often said that he
would trust an Irishman as far as he could see him and no more, but
for a foreigner he had only the length of an eyelash."
"And what do you intend with the papers now, O'Ruddy?" said he.
"I intend as I intended," I replied. "There is no change in me."
"And your intentions?" said he.
"To give them into the hands of Lady Mary Strepp and no other," said I
boldly.
I looked at him. He looked at me.
"Lady Mary Strepp, my daughter," he said in ironic musing. "Would not
her mother do, O'Ruddy?" he asked softly.
I gave a start.
"She is not near?" I demanded, looking from here to there.
He laughed.
"Aye, she is. I can have her here to take the papers in one short
moment."
I held up my hands.
"No--no--"
"Peace," said he with a satanic chuckle. "I was only testing your
courage."
"My lord," said I gravely, "seeing a bare blade come at your breast is
one thing, and running around a table is another, and besides you have
no suitable table in this chamber."
The old villain laughed again.
"O'Ruddy," he cried, "I would be a well man if you were always near
me. Will I have a table fetched up from below?--'twould be easy."
Here I stiffened.
"My lord, this is frivolity," I declared. "I came here to give the
papers. If you do not care to take them in the only way in which I
will give them, let us have it said quickly."
"They seem to be safe in your hands at present," he remarked. "Of
course after you go to London and get a tutor--ahem!--"
"I will be starting at once," said I, "although Father Donovan always
told me that he was a good tutor as tutors went at the time in
Ireland. And I want to be saying now, my lord, that I cannot
understand you. At one moment you are crying one thing of the papers;
at the next moment you are crying another. At this time you are having
a laugh with me over them. What do you mean? I'll not stand this
shiver-shavering any longer, I'll have you to know. What do you mean?"
He raised himself among his cushions and fixed me with a bony finger.
"What do I mean? I'll tell you, O'Ruddy," said he, while his eyes
shone brightly. "I mean that I can be contemptuous of your plot. You
will not show these papers to any breathing creature because you are
in love with my daughter. Fool, to match your lies against an
ex-minister of the King."
My eyes must have almost dropped from my head, but as soon as I
recovered from my dumfounderment I grew amazed at the great intellect
of this man. I had told nobody, and yet he knew all about it. Yes, I
was in love with Lady Mary, and he was as well informed of it as if he
had had spies to watch my dreams. And I saw that in many cases a lover
was a kind of an ostrich, the bird which buries its head in the sands
and thinks it is secure from detection. I wished that my father had
told me more about love, for I have no doubt he knew everything of it,
he had lived so many years in Paris. Father Donovan, of course, could
not have helped me in such instruction. I resolved, any how, to be
more cautious in the future, although I did not exactly see how I
could improve myself. The Earl's insight was pure mystery to me. I
would not be for saying that he practised black magic, but any how, if
he had been at Glandore, I would have had him chased through three
parishes.
However, the Earl was grinning victoriously, and I saw that I must
harden my face to a brave exterior.
"And is it so?" said I. "Is it so?"
"Yes," he said, with his grin.
"And what then?" said I bluntly.
In his enjoyment he had been back again among his cushions.
"'What then? What then?'" he snarled, rearing up swiftly. "Why, then
you are an insolent fool: Begone from me! begone! be--" Here some
spasm overtook him, a spasm more from rage than from the sickness. He
fell back breathless, although his eyes continued to burn at me.
"My lord," said I, bowing, "I will go no poorer than when I came, save
that I have lost part of the respect I once had for you."
I turned and left his chamber. Some few gentlemen yet remained in the
drawing-room as I passed out into the public part of the inn. I went
quietly to a chamber and sat down to think. I was for ever going to
chambers and sitting down to think after these talks with the Earl,
during which he was for ever rearing up in his chair and then falling
back among the cushions.
But here was another tumble over the cliffs, if you like! Here was
genuine disaster. I laid my head in my hands and mused before my
lonely fire, drinking much and visioning my ruin. What the Earl said
was true. There was trouble in the papers for the old nobleman. That
he knew. That I knew. And he knew with his devilish wisdom that I
would lose my head rather than see her in sorrow. Well, I could bide a
time. I would go to London in company with Paddy and Jem Bottles,
since they owned all the money, and if three such rogues could not
devise something, then I would go away and bury myself in a war in
foreign parts, occupying myself in scaling fortresses and capturing
guns. These things I know I could have performed magnificently, but
from the Earl I had learned that I was an ill man to conduct an affair
of the heart.
I do not know how long I meditated, but suddenly there was a great
tumult on the stairs near my door. There were the shouts and heavy
breathings of men, struggling, and over all rang a screech as from
some wild bird. I ran to the door and poked my head discreetly out;
for my coat and waistcoat were off as well as my sword, and I wished
to see the manner of tumult at a distance before I saw it close. As I
thrust forth my head I heard a familiar voice:
"And if ye come closer, ye old hell-cat, 'tis me will be forgetting
respect to my four great-grandmothers and braining you. Keep off! Am I
not giving ye the word? Keep off!"
Then another familiar voice answered him in a fine high fury. "And you
gallows-bird, you gallows-bird, you gallows-bird! You answer me, do
you! They're coming, all, even to the hangman! You'll soon know how to
dance without a fiddler! Ah, would you? Would you?"
If I had been afflicted with that strange malady of the body which
sometimes causes men to fall to the ground and die in a moment without
a word, my doom would have been sealed. It was Paddy and Hoity-Toity
engaged in animated discussion.
"And if ye don't mind your eye, ye old cormorant--" began Paddy.
"And you would be a highwayman, would you, gallows-bird--" began the
Countess.
"Cow--" began Paddy.
Here for many reasons I thought it time to interfere. "Paddy!" I
cried. He gave a glance at my door, recognized my face, and, turning
quickly, ran through into my chamber. I barred the door even as
Hoity-Toity's fist thundered on the oak.
"It's a she-wolf," gasped Paddy, his chest pressing in and out.
"And what did you do to her?" I demanded.
"Nothing but try to run away, sure," said Paddy.
"And why would she be scratching you?"
"She saw me for one of the highwaymen robbing the coach, and there was
I, devil knowing what to do, and all the people of the inn trying to
put peace upon her, and me dodging, and then--"
"Man," said I, grabbing his arm, "'tis a game that ends on the--"
"Never a bit," he interrupted composedly. "Wasn't the old witch drunk,
claws and all, and didn't even the great English lord, or whatever,
send his servant to bring her in, and didn't he, the big man, stand in
the door and spit on the floor and go in when he saw she was for
battering all the servants and using worse talk than the sailors I
heard in Bristol? It would not be me they were after, those men
running. It would be her. And small power to them, but they were no
good at it. I am for taking a stool in my hand--"
"Whist!" said I. "In England they would not be hitting great ladies
with stools. Let us hearken to the brawl. She is fighting them
finely."
For I had seen that Paddy spoke truth. The noble lady was engaged in
battling with servants who had been in pursuit of her when she was in
pursuit of Paddy. Never had I seen even my own father so drunk as she
was then. But the heart-rending thing was the humble protests of the
servants. "Your ladyship! Oh, your ladyship!"--as they came up one by
one, or two by two, obeying orders of the Earl, to be incontinently
boxed on the ears by a member of a profligate aristocracy. Probably
any one of them was strong enough to throw the beldame out at a
window. But such was not the manner of the time. One would think they
would retreat upon the Earl and ask to be dismissed from his service.
But this also was not the manner of the time. No; they marched up
heroically and took their cuffs on the head and cried: "Oh, your
ladyship! Please, your ladyship!" They were only pretenders in their
attacks; all they could do was to wait until she was tired, and then
humbly escort her to where she belonged, meanwhile pulling gently at
her arms.
"She was after recognizing you then?" said I to Paddy.
"Indeed and she was," said he. He had dropped into a chair and was
looking as if he needed a doctor to cure him of exhaustion. "She would
be after having eyes like a sea-gull. And Jem Bottles was all for
declaring that my disguise was complete, bad luck to the little man."
"Your disguise complete?" said I. "You couldn't disguise yourself
unless you stood your head in a barrel. What talk is this?"
"Sure an' I looked no more like myself than I looked like a wild man
with eight rows of teeth in his head," said Paddy mournfully. "My own
mother would have been after taking me for a horse. 'Tis that old
creature with her evil eye who would be seeing me when all the others
were blind as bats. I could have walked down the big street in Cork
without a man knowing me."
"That you could at any time," said I. The Countess had for some
moments ceased to hammer on my door. "Hearken! I think they are
managing her."
Either Hoity-Toity had lost heart, or the servants had gained some
courage, for we heard them dragging her delicately down the staircase.
Presently there was a silence.
After I had waited until this silence grew into the higher silence
which seems like perfect safety, I rang the bell and ordered food and
drink. Paddy had a royal meal, sitting on the floor by the fireplace
and holding a platter on his knee. From time to time I tossed him
something for which I did not care. He was very grateful for my
generosity. He ate in a barbaric fashion, crunching bones of fowls
between his great white teeth and swallowing everything.
I had a mind to discourse upon manners in order that Paddy might not
shame me when we came to London; for a gentleman is known by the ways
of his servants. If people of quality should see me attended by such
a savage they would put me down small. "Paddy," said I, "mend your
ways of eating."
"'My ways of eating,' your honour?" said he. "And am I not eating all
that I can hold? I was known to be a good man at platter always. Sure
I've seen no man in England eat more than me. But thank you kindly,
sir."
"You misunderstand me," said I. "I wish to improve your manner of
eating. It would not be fine enough for the sight of great people. You
eat, without taking breath, pieces as big as a block of turf."
"'Tis the custom in my part of Ireland," answered Paddy.
"I understand," said I. "But over here 'tis only very low people who
fall upon their meat from a window above."
"I am not in the way of understanding your honour," said he. "But any
how a man may be respectable and yet have a good hunger on him."