The night was growing, and as I was to fight at daybreak I needed a
good rest; but I could not forget that in my pride I had told Lord
Strepp that I was provided with a friend to attend me at the duel. It
was on my mind. I must achieve a friend, or Colonel Royale might quite
properly refuse to fight me on the usual grounds that if he killed me
there would be present no adherent of my cause to declare that the
fight was fair. And any how I had lied so thoroughly to Lord Strepp. I
must have a friend.
But how was I to carve a friend out of this black Bristol at such
short notice? My sense told me that friends could not be found in the
road like pebbles, but some curious feeling kept me abroad, scanning
by the light of the lanterns or the torches each face that passed me.
A low dull roar came from the direction of the quay, and this was the
noise of the sailor-men, being drunk. I knew that there would be none
found there to suit my purpose, but my spirit led me to wander so that
I could not have told why I went this way or that way.
Of a sudden I heard from a grassy bank beside me the sound of low and
strenuous sobbing. I stopped dead short to listen, moved by
instinctive recognition. Aye, I was right. It was Irish keening. Some
son of Erin was spelling out his sorrow to the darkness with that
profound and garrulous eloquence which is in the character of my
people.
"Wirra, wirra! Sorrow the day I would be leaving Ireland against my
own will and intention, and may the rocks go out to meet the lugger
that brought me here! It's beginning to rain, too! Sure it never rains
like this in Ireland! And me without a brass penny to buy a bed! If
the Saints save me from England, 'tis al--"
"Come out of that, now!" said I.
The monologue ceased; there was a quick silence. Then the voice, much
altered, said: "Who calls? 'Tis may be an Irish voice!"
"It is," said I. "I've swallowed as much peat smoke as any man of my
years. Come out of that now, and let me have a look at you."
He came trustfully enough, knowing me to be Irish, and I examined him
as well as I was able in the darkness. He was what I expected, a
bedraggled vagabond with tear-stains on his dirty cheeks and a vast
shock of hair which I well knew would look, in daylight, like a
burning haycock. And as I examined him he just as carefully examined
me. I could see his shrewd blue eyes twinkling.
"You are a red man," said I. "I know the strain; 'tis better than
some. Your family must have been very inhospitable people." And then,
thinking that I had spent enough time, I was about to give the fellow
some coin and send him away. But here a mad project came into my empty
head. I had ever been the victim of my powerful impulses, which surge
up within me and sway me until I can only gasp at my own conduct. The
sight of this red-headed scoundrel had thrust an idea into my head,
and I was a lost man.
"Mark you!" said I to him. "You know what I am?"
"'Tis hard to see in the dark," he answered; "but I mistrust you are a
gentleman, sir. McDermott of the Three Trees had a voice and a way
with him like you, and Father Burk too, and he was a gentleman born if
he could only remain sober."
"Well, you've hit it, in the dark or whatever," said I. "I am a
gentleman. Indeed I am an O'Ruddy. Have you ever been hearing of my
family?"
"Not of your honour's branch of it, sure," he made answer confidently.
"But I have often been hearing of the O'Ruddys of Glandore, who are
well known to be such great robbers and blackguards that their match
is not to be found in all the south of Ireland. Nor in the west,
neither, for that matter."
"Aye," said I, "I have heard that that branch of the family was much
admired by the peasantry for their qualities. But let us have done
with it and speak of other matters. I want a service of you."
"Yes, your honour," said he, dropping his voice. "May be 'twill not be
the first time I've been behind a ditch; but the light to-night is
very bad unless I am knowing him well, and I would never be forgetting
how Tim Malone let fly in the dark of a night like this, thinking it
was a bailiff, until she screamed out with the pain in her leg, the
poor creature, and her beyond seventy and a good Catholic."
"Come out of it now!" said I impatiently. "You will be behind no
ditch." And as we walked back to the inn I explained to my new man the
part I wished him to play. He was amazed at it, and I had to explain
fifty times; but when it once was established in his red head Paddy
was wild with enthusiasm, and I had to forbid him telling me how well
he would do it.
I had them give him some straw in the stable, and then retired to my
chamber for needed rest. Before dawn I had them send Paddy to me, and
by the light of a new fire I looked at him. Ye Saints! What hair! It
must have been more than a foot in length, and the flaming strands
radiated in all directions from an isolated and central spire which
shot out straight toward the sky. I knew what to do with his tatters,
but that crimson thatch dumfounded me. However there was no going back
now, so I set to work upon him. Luckily my wardrobe represented three
generations of O'Ruddy clothes, and there was a great plenty. I put my
impostor in a suit of blue velvet with a flowered waistcoat and
stockings of pink. I gave him a cocked hat and a fine cloak. I worked
with success up to the sword-belt, and there I was checked. I had two
swords, but only one belt. However, I slung the sword which King Louis
had given my father on a long string from Paddy's neck and sternly bid
him keep his cloak tight about him. We were ready.
"Now, Paddy," said I, "do you bow in this manner." I bowed as a
gentleman should. But I will not say how I strove with him. I could do
little in that brief space. If he remained motionless and kept his
tongue still he was somewhat near his part, but the moment he moved he
was astonishing. I depended on keeping him under my eye, and I told
him to watch me like a cat. "Don't go thinking how grand you are, that
way," I cried to him angrily. "If you make a blunder of it, the
gentlemen will cudgel you, mark you that. Do you as I direct you. And
the string, curse you. Mind your cloak!" The villain had bethought him
of his flowered waistcoat, and with a comic air flung back his coat to
display it. "Take your fingers out of your mouth. Stop scratching your
shin with your foot. Leave your hair alone. 'Tis as good and as bad as
you can make it. Come along now, and hold your tongue like a graven
image if you would not be having me stop the duel to lather you."
We marched in good order out of the inn. We saw our two gentlemen
awaiting us, wrapped in their cloaks, for the dawn was cold. They
bowed politely, and as I returned their salute I said in a low, quick
aside to Paddy:
"Now, for the love of God, bow for your life!"
My intense manner must have frightened the poor thing, for he ducked
as swiftly as if he had been at a fair in Ireland and somebody had
hove a cobble at his head.
"Come up!" I whispered, choking with rage. "Come up! You'll be
breaking your nose on the road."
He straightened himself, looking somewhat bewildered, and said:
"What was it? Was I too slow? Did I do it well?"
"Oh, fine," said I. "Fine. You do it as well as that once more, and
you will probably break your own neck, and 'tis not me will be buying
masses for your soul, you thief. Now don't drop as if a gamekeeper had
shot at you. There is no hurry in life. Be quiet and easy."
"I mistrusted I was going too fast," said he; "but for the life of me
I couldn't pull up. If I had been the Dublin mail, and the road thick
as fleas with highwaymen, I should have gone through them grand."
My Lord Strepp and Colonel Royale had not betrayed the slightest
surprise at the appearance of my extraordinary companion. Their
smooth, regular faces remained absolutely imperturbable. This I took
to be very considerate of them, but I gave them just a little more
than their due, as I afterward perceived when I came to understand the
English character somewhat. The great reason was that Paddy and I were
foreigners. It is not to be thought that gentlemen of their position
would have walked out for a duel with an Englishman in the party of so
fantastic an appearance. They would have placed him at once as a
person impossible and altogether out of their class. They would have
told a lackey to kick this preposterous creation into the horse-pond.
But since Paddy was a foreigner he was possessed of some curious
license, and his grotesque ways could be explained fully in the simple
phrase, "'Tis a foreigner."
So, then, we preceded my Lord Strepp and Colonel Royale through a
number of narrow streets and out into some clear country. I chose a
fine open bit of green turf as a goodly place for us to meet, and I
warped Paddy through the gate and moved to the middle of the field. I
drew my sword and saluted, and then turned away. I had told Paddy
everything which a heaven-sent sense of instruction could suggest, and
if he failed I could do no more than kill him.
After I had kicked him sharply he went aside with Lord Strepp, and
they indulged in what sounded like a very animated discussion.
Finally I was surprised to see Lord Strepp approaching me. He said:
"It is very irregular, but I seem unable to understand your friend. He
has proposed to me that the man whose head is broken first--I do not
perfectly understand what he could mean by that; it does not enter our
anticipations that a man could possibly have his head broken--he has
proposed that the man whose head may be broken first should provide
'lashings'--I feel sure that is the word--lashings of meat and drink
at some good inn for the others. Lashings is a word which I do not
know. We do not know how to understand you gentlemen when you speak of
lashings. I am instructed to meet any terms which you may suggest, but
I find that I cannot make myself clear to your friend who speaks of
nothing but lashings."
"Sir," said I, as I threw coat and waistcoat on the grass, "my friend
refers to a custom of his own country. You will, I feel sure, pardon
his misconception of the circumstances. Pray accept my regrets, and,
if you please, I am ready."
He immediately signified that his mind was now clear, and that the
incident of Paddy's lashings he regarded as closed. As for that
flame-headed imp of crime, if I could have got my hands upon him he
would have taken a short road to his fathers. Him and his lashings! As
I stood there with a black glare at him, the impudent scoundrel
repeatedly winked at me with the readable information that if I only
would be patient and bide a moment he would compass something very
clever. As I faced Colonel Royale I was so wild with thinking of what
I would do to Paddy, that, for all I knew, I might have been crossing
swords with my mother.
And now as to this duel. I will not conceal that I was a very fine
fencer in both the French and Italian manners. My father was in his
day one of the finest blades in Paris, and had fought with some of the
most skillful and impertinent gentlemen in all France. He had done his
best to give me his eye and his wrist, and sometimes he would say that
I was qualified to meet all but the best in the world. He commonly
made fun of the gentlemen of England, saying that a dragoon was their
ideal of a man with a sword; and he would add that the rapier was a
weapon which did not lend itself readily to the wood-chopper's art. He
was all for the French and Italian schools.
I had always thought that my father's judgment was very good, but I
could not help reflecting that if it turned out to be bad I would have
a grievance as well as a sword-thrust in the body. Colonel Royale came
at me in a somewhat leisurely manner, and, as I said, my mind was so
full of rage at Paddy that I met the first of my opponent's thrusts
through sheer force of habit. But my head was clear a moment later,
and I knew that I was fighting my first duel in England and for my
father's honour. It was no time to think of Paddy.
Another moment later I knew that I was the Colonel's master. I could
reach him where I chose. But he did not know it. He went on prodding
away with a serious countenance, evidently under the impression that
he had me hard put to it. He was as grave as an owl-faced parson. And
now here I did a sorry thing. I became the victim of another of my mad
impulses. I was seized with an ungovernable desire to laugh. It was
hideous. But laugh I did, and, of necessity, square in the Colonel's
face. And to this day I regret it.
Then the real duel began. At my laugh the Colonel instantly lost his
grave air, and his countenance flushed with high, angry surprise. He
beset me in a perfect fury, caring no more for his guard than if he
had been made of iron. Never have I seen such quick and tremendous
change in a man. I had laughed at him under peculiar conditions: very
well, then; he was a demon. Thrice my point pricked him to keep him
off, and thrice my heart was in my mouth that he would come on
regardless. The blood oozed out on his white ruffled shirt; he was
panting heavily, and his eyes rolled. He was a terrible sight to face.
At last I again touched him, and this time sharply and in the sword
arm, and upon the instant my Lord Strepp knocked our blades apart.
"Enough," he cried sternly. "Back, Colonel! Back!"
The Colonel flung himself sobbing into his friend's arms, choking out,
"O God, Strepp! I couldn't reach him. I couldn't reach him, Strepp!
Oh, my God!"
At the same time I disappeared, so to speak, in the embrace of my
red-headed villain, who let out an Irish howl of victory that should
have been heard at Glandore. "Be quiet, rascal," I cried, flinging him
off. But he went on with his howling until I was obliged forcibly to
lead him to a corner of the field, where he exclaimed:
"Oh, your honour, when I seen the other gentleman, all blazing with
rage, rush at you that way, and me with not so much as a tuppence for
all my service to you excepting these fine clothes and the sword,
although I am thinking I shall have little to do with swords if this
is the way they do it, I said, 'Sorrow the day England saw me!'"
If I had a fool for a second, Colonel Royale had a fine, wise young
man. Lord Strepp was dealing firmly and coolly with his maddened
principal.
"I can fight with my left hand," the Colonel was screaming. "I tell
you, Strepp, I am resolved! Don't bar my way! I will kill him! I will
kill him!"
"You are not in condition to fight," said the undisturbed young man.
"You are wounded in four places already. You are in my hands. You will
fight no more to-day."
"But, Strepp!" wailed the Colonel. "Oh, my God, Strepp!"
"You fight no more to-day," said the young lord.
Then happened unexpected interruptions. Paddy told me afterward that
during the duel a maid had looked over a wall and yelled, and dropped
a great brown bowl at sight of our occupation. She must have been the
instrument that aroused the entire county, for suddenly men came
running from everywhere. And the little boys! There must have been
little boys from all over England.
"What is it? What is it?"
"Two gentlemen have been fighting!"
"Oh, aye, look at him with the blood on him!"
"Well, and there is young my Lord Strepp. He'd be deep in the matter,
I warrant you!"
"Look yon, Bill! Mark the gentleman with the red hair. He's not from
these parts, truly. Where, think you, he comes from?"
"'Tis a great marvel to see such hair, and I doubt not he comes from
Africa."
They did not come very near, for in those days there was little the
people feared but a gentleman, and small wonder. However, when the
little boys judged that the delay in a resumption of the fight was too
prolonged, they did not hesitate to express certain unconventional
opinions and commands.
"Hurry up, now!"
"Go on!"
"You're both afeared!"
"Begin! Begin!"
"Are the gentlemen in earnest?"
"Sirs, do you mean ever to fight again? Begin, begin."
But their enthusiasm waxed high after they had thoroughly comprehended
Paddy and his hair.
"You're alight, sir; you're alight!"
"Water! Water!"
"Farmer Pelton will have the officers at you an you go near his hay.
Water!"
Paddy understood that they were paying tribute to his importance, and
he again went suddenly out of my control. He began to strut and caper
and pose with the air of knowing that he was the finest gentleman in
England.
"Paddy, you baboon," said I, "be quiet and don't be making yourself a
laughing-stock for the whole of them."
But I could give small heed to him, for I was greatly occupied in
watching Lord Strepp and the Colonel. The Colonel was listening now
to his friend for the simple reason that the loss of blood had made
him too weak to fight again. Of a sudden he slumped gently down
through Lord Strepp's arms to the ground, and, as the young man knelt,
he cast his eyes about him until they rested upon me in what I took to
be mute appeal. I ran forward, and we quickly tore his fine ruffles to
pieces and succeeded in quite stanching his wounds, none of which were
serious. "'Tis only a little blood-letting," said my Lord Strepp with
something of a smile. "'Twill cool him, perchance."
"None of them are deep," I cried hastily. "I--"
But Lord Strepp stopped me with a swift gesture. "Yes," he said, "I
knew. I could see. But--" He looked at me with troubled eyes. "It is
an extraordinary situation. You have spared him, and--he will not wish
to be spared, I feel sure. Most remarkable case."
"Well, I won't kill him," said I bluntly, having tired of this
rubbish. "Damme if I will!"
Lord Strepp laughed outright. "It is ridiculous," he said. "Do you
return, O'Ruddy, and leave me the care of this business. And," added
he, with embarrassed manner, "this mixture is full strange; but--I
feel sure--any how, I salute you, sir." And in his bow he paid a
sensible tribute to my conduct.
Afterward there was nought to do but gather in Paddy and return to the
inn. I found my countryman swaggering to and fro before the crowd.
Some ignoramus, or some wit, had dubbed him the King of Ireland, and
he was playing to the part.
"Paddy, you red-headed scandal," said I, "come along now!"
When he heard me, he came well enough; but I could not help but feel
from his manner that he had made a great concession.
"And so they would be taking me for the King of Ireland, and, sure,
'tis an advantage to be thought a king whatever, and if your honour
would be easy 'tis you and me that would sleep in the finest beds in
Bristol the night, and nothing to do but take the drink as it was
handed and--I'll say no more."
A rabble followed us on our way to the inn, but I turned on them so
fiercely from time to time that ultimately they ran off. We made
direct for my chamber, where I ordered food and drink immediately to
be served. Once alone there with Paddy I allowed my joy to take hold
on me. "Eh, Paddy, my boy," said I, walking before him, "I have done
grand. I am, indeed, one of the finest gentlemen in the world."
"Aye, that's true," he answered, "but there was a man at your back
throughout who--"
To his extreme astonishment I buffeted him heavily upon the cheek.
"And we'll have no more of that talk," said I.