Question (to doctor on witness stand in murder case)—“Just tell the jury
what, in your opinion, caused the death of the late Mr. Scrapple.”
Answer—“Well, when deceased laid down his full house with buoyancy of
spirit and was about to reach for the pot, the accused, Mr. Jopkins,
cried out, ‘Hold on! What’s the matter with them four treys?’ This
sudden cessation of undue elation on the part of the late Mr. Scrapple
created an anti-climax and caused the blood of the myocardium to go
galloping round and round the heart, thus supercharging the pulmonary
arteries until the renal, splenic and cerebral vessels went to pieces
and left the embolus lodging crosswise against the primary thrombosis.
Thus it is self-evident that the booze he had obviously been imbibing
became partially coagulated, forming an aneurism which brought about a
spiflication of the sine quo non. This would, I think, be sufficient to
cause death.”
His Honor—“I think so, too.”
* * * * *
Good Evening, Bartender!
Boyce—I was arrested last night for impersonating an officer.
Royce—What did you do?
Boyce—I knocked at a side door and drank the slug of hootch they handed
out.